Today we will talk about human stereotypical thinking. What are stereotypes and how to break them.
I recently met a friend I hadn't seen in years, and he told me his story about how he changed his stereotypical thinking. Therefore, I will conduct the dialogue in the second person.
Stereotypes and beliefs
Our thinking is buried in stereotypical beliefs. I try to constantly catch myself thinking about why I answered “no” instead of “yes” in each specific situation. After all, in order to manage and, you need to catch a thought and work on it. In the endless chaos of thoughts that arise regardless of my desires as a reaction to everything that is outside, I try to fix any thought that encourages me to reject something. What I mean?
Sometimes we promise ourselves that tomorrow let's approach something in a new way: start playing sports, go on a diet, give up smoking, make a new acquaintance, make peace with a work colleague, etc.... The reaction of rejection of the creative principle lies within each of us until we begin to break our own beliefs and stereotypes.
Just yesterday, my wife suggested that, as a preventative measure, I should drink a healing decoction with her in the morning, which she purchased from a famous healer. I, of course, gave verbal consent. After all, there is nothing wrong with this if many people drink this decoction and respond only positively. But when the time came to drink it, especially after learning about its disgusting aftertaste, the first thing I said was: “I don’t feel like it.” As soon as I said this, the thought immediately arose in my head that yesterday I myself voluntarily agreed to take part in the family ritual of drinking a healthy drink.
This is just one of the cases that first came to my mind now. If we delve deeply into our promises, we are unlikely to ever fulfill a good half.
Why does this happen
What is it: or just an unwillingness to change something? In any case, I have developed for myself one simple but effective method of dealing with such manifestations of reluctance, reluctance and rejection.
Controlling my own speech helps me with this. I have not yet reached those heights where I can control my thoughts, I am just learning. For now, I decided to come to grips with something that is more or less within the control of every person - to control the product of our thoughts - speech.
How to control thoughts
As soon as I say the word “no” to a certain request or instruction, I try to give a command to my brain, something like “stop”. To stop chasing the chaotic stream of brain activity around your head and catch the word you just threw. I record this “no” and analyze it. As a rule, any spoken “no” appears inertially and reflexively. But having clothed itself in verbal-sound form, it appears in this world.
To be a productive person, you need to develop the habit of acting in spite of your own reflexive denials. Only in this way, leaving a comfortable state, can you develop your activity beyond recognition.
Do you think I drank the decoction?
As soon as the denial came out of me, I immediately recorded it. I got up and headed to the kitchen, following the words of my wife, who was almost disappointed in my words. I took the glass and drank it to the bottom. “Yummy!” – I said with a smile.
On the same day, my son came up to me asking me to play football with him on the playground for half an hour. Inertia squeezed out “No time.” But fixation and instant analysis of the negation helped to continue the sentence “..., but for the sake of such a matter, you can be distracted.” What kind of manager am I if I can’t plan my own time?
If you think about it this way, we all constantly lack time. There is no time for change, for development, for success. We are simply mired up to our necks in everyday life and bustle, and our consciousness is clothed with negative word forms at lightning speed. And if you are ready for change, start acting illogically in relation to the words that our consciousness offers as the primary answer. After all, in order to do so, you need to put in maximum effort and patience.
Bye everyone.
Best regards, Vyacheslav.
Speaking on the topic of patterns created by society, there is often a need to overcome existing frameworks, but how to get rid of stereotypes and complexes if their role in modern world becomes burdensome?
A stereotype is...
For most people, set boundaries prevent them from living a happy life. full life. We can say with confidence that stereotypical thinking is a harmful deterrent to the manifestation of individuality.
The perception of absolutely any information and the corresponding behavior are a consequence of conscious mental processes.
You can try to understand what a stereotype is by identifying this concept an established pattern of behavior in certain cases. Experience in similar situations or the behavior pattern of another person with a certain authority often serves as an example for automatic application in similar circumstances. It turns out that thinking in stereotypes, a person is deprived of almost everything: new opportunities, sensations, impressions, interests and prospects. He freezes in a non-stop cyclical cycle of responses and reactions.
It is not surprising that thinking patterns do not allow you to go through the next stage of self-improvement. To defeat the enemy represented by multiple stereotypes, it is necessary to accurately detect it and determine which category this particular one belongs to. Psychologists have combined most human complexes caused by patterned thinking into several main groups.
Types of Thought Process Patterns
In the first group, identify people for whom all life and events in it are colored only by white and black. Those with polar thinking see either only good or only bad in front of them. Everything that exists, happens and develops exists in itself, regardless of the labels and stereotypes that have been placed on it. The world is full bright colors. Such a very meager set for assessing what is happening is fraught with not the most pleasant consequences. People who set such strict limits for themselves are not able to objectively perceive information and the course of events. Often you cannot expect an adequate reaction from them, so they tend to make erroneous decisions and lower their own self-esteem.
For example, if such a person failed once, the next time in a similar situation he will only be inclined towards a negative result. By constantly resorting to excessive generalization, it becomes part of the worldview of the individual himself.
Thus, having closed all the doors in front of himself, a person begins to lose self-control and self-respect.
Depression is a fairly common result of inflexible thinking.
The second category includes this type of perception when a person prefers to concentrate attention only on those things, actions, situations that have meaning for him high degree importance, and this gradation is selected on an individual basis.
With selective thinking, other aspects that are inferior in the level of significance in his perception will be discarded. Thus, the most categorical stereotypes are formed, the owners of which are simply not able to perceive outside opinions that are even slightly different from their own. At the same time, one’s own worldview acquires the features of a kind of fanaticism. A person devoted to his dogma is completely devoted to it alone and has no desire to conquer other goals.
The next, third type of template can be called “invented expectations.” All people expect something from current events, from the people around them and from society as a whole. Having subjectively assessed something, sometimes a person begins to attach excessive importance to it. Having first generated hope in yourself, because of this type of thinking you often end up disappointed.
The emergence of unfounded grievances and frustrations often serve as obstacles in the process of building personal relationships. Having mentally drawn up a plan of action for a partner (without his participation) and counting on him to act only this way and not otherwise, a person with such a perception will experience a lot negative emotions from failure to obtain the planned result. The consequence of this is attempts by one participant in the relationship to change the other, remaking him “for himself.” Further, in such an alliance, quarrels become regular and a breakup is quite likely.
This group of stereotypical thinking, which gives rise to many unreasonable complexes, can be divided into two subtypes. The first is based on existing experience, the second is based on imagination and confidence in luck.
Methods of dealing with complexes and biased perceptions
The technique of breaking templates and stereotypes is the only way that has a chance of getting rid of your own boundaries. Several methods outlined below are universal and simple and will help anyone who really wants to cope with the problem of stereotypical thinking.
Difficulties in polar perception can be overcome using a method that involves frequent comparison. Between the emerging very difficult situation and existing, which has already taken place once and brought negative experience to life. Since people with this perception set practically unattainable goals for themselves and make excessive demands on themselves, it will not be easy to overcome this stereotype.
Trying on a child’s mask and trying to feel the child’s perception is not difficult, but it is effective method, helping to cope with excessive expectations and rigid categoricalness. After all, only children are able to sincerely accept what is happening and people as they really are. You just need to become more open to people and draw conclusions about them only after communication.
To perceive someone through the prism of one’s own ideas, which are often biased, is, at a minimum, unfair to the individual. It is possible to destroy the stereotype of unreasonable expectations, but this will require effort in working on yourself.
To put the “children’s” method into practice, you need to ask yourself questions every time: “Why do I think it should be this way?”, “Am I doing everything to ensure that people understand what I expect from them?”, “ Am I preventing them from fulfilling my own expectations?
Choose your method and fight stereotypes!
The older I get, the more I notice how dependent people are on stereotypes. And how much dangerous stereotypes may be for people.
For example, if we take stereotype that the life of any normal person should look like this: born, went to school, then went to college, after which he found a job, got married, gave birth to children, gave them a good education, raised, then pension and rest.
Oh yes, I forgot... throughout my life once a year - a vacation to the sea, buy a car and an apartment on credit, make repairs, buy a dacha, and a little bit of everything else...
Agree, in the minds of most people, the life of an ordinary person is presented in exactly this way. This is the norm. All who deviate from it are either fools and madmen or geniuses.
So, if we take some negative element of our society (drug addict, alcoholic, criminal), then I would be glad to instill in such a person a standard stereotype. So that instead of doing bad things, he does good things.
But if you take a person who is not addicted to bad habits and bad deeds, then such a stereotype can be destructive for him.
In fact, such stereotype limits any person. It puts you in a framework, preventing you from fully revealing all your abilities and talents.
Sometimes. life reminds me computer program, which works according to certain algorithms. This is both good and bad. It’s good to have order in your head and a planned route.
But it’s bad when you can grow out of this algorithm and create new program, but you don’t do it because you think that it will be a violation of the algorithm by which you live at the moment.
Add here public opinion, friends, relatives, television - and we get a powerful pressure that breaks our will, faith in ourselves and our strength.
How many human talents have been wasted because of stupid stereotypes? How many more of them will be lost?
I believe that now is a time when this area of our lives lags far behind all others. Science, technology, and management systems are developing, but stereotypes are developing poorly.
To make it clearer, let's look at an example. Nowadays, the trend of life towards passive sources of income is actively developing. That is, when you accumulate a lot of money, on the interest from which you live, or create a business that works without your daily intervention, etc.
They write books about this, write on the Internet, and create various systems and programs. The trend is incomparable, I personally really like it. But, as you may have noticed, I have already used the word trend twice (this is the third time).
A trend is a new direction, or a branch of something that is popular and in demand.
Over time, a trend can develop into something larger (into an industry, a generation, a community), or it can fade away.
It would be great if in people’s understanding, their stereotype became the idea that you need to be born, go to school, or maybe not go, then to college (possibly), then get a job, but not work there until retirement, but for example, build a dizzying career that will allow you to retire by the age of 40.
Or, save money, open your own business, automate it and again a similar scenario, retire by the age of 40-50.
Moreover, the pension is not beggarly, 5-10 thousand rubles. And for retirement, 100 times more. If we develop the topic, then the continuation of this stereotype should be service to people, or contribution to society.
Just imagine, you earned a lot of money and retired at the age of 40. Now ask this question to any person, simulate such a situation for him and let him answer you, what would he do?!
I assure you, most of them will answer something like this: I will drink, travel abroad, relax, go on a spree, have affairs, buy myself beautiful clothes, cars and everything like that...
And this will be a manifestation of today's stereotypes.
Why not do what you dreamed of as a child? In my childhood, we dreamed of becoming astronauts, archaeologists, stuntmen, hockey players...
Yes, I can no longer become a hockey player, and I don’t want to. But, having a lot of money, you can create your own club or buy it, as many oligarchs do, who, thus, realize their childhood dreams.
Imagine how much our society would develop if people did what they liked, and not what they had to do.
Not what they were forced to do!
A person who enjoys doing something achieves much better results.
I think the development of large corporations, eternal races to fulfill plans, leads to the fact that geniuses are dying out like mammoths.
I think that in order to become someone like Einstein, Tsiolkovsky, Mendeleev, you need to devote yourself entirely to what you love. Is this possible under current conditions?
Today they do not try to make an outstanding personality out of children. They try to make it average so that they are like everyone else and don’t stand out from the crowd. Today, a child should become a manager, a banker, an accountant - such people will always have money, parents reason. And this is also a stereotype. Moreover, it is destructive.
Why not set a goal to make your child a great football player who would outshine today's stars with his talent? Why not make your child a great artist, writer or scientist who will change the world with his invention?
You may not like the word “make,” but, one way or another, we make someone out of our children. Children need to learn from someone. If their parents do not help them with this, then they have to learn on the street.
I sometimes look at people for whom the stereotypical behavior has become to work from morning to evening, come home in the evening, overeat, wash it all down with beer or vodka and go to sleep, and I don’t understand, is this really okay with them? How can anyone like this? Don't you really want to get something more from life and bring it into it?
- Why, only a few have the stereotype that after work they need to go to a workout, take a walk fresh air, play with the children, teach them something?
- Why do only a few people open a book instead of a bottle of beer (but only useful ones, women's novels and detective stories don't count)?
- Why do a few make grandiose plans and try to implement them, while the rest just go with the flow of life?
- Why do only a few cultivate outstanding personalities within themselves, while the rest only corrupt the personality within themselves?
- Why do few fight rudeness, ignorance and dirt, while the rest breed it around themselves in incredible quantities?
- As one of the options for all these questions, I see the answer indicated in the title of this post. THESE ARE WRONG STEREOTYPES!
As long as the majority of people think the way the rest of the majority thinks, nothing will change. But the more positive examples there are around them, the more results from these positive examples others see, the more questions will appear in the minds of those people who need change.
We need change and we need people who create change. Who are you?
In general, there are countless ways to find your own purpose and meaning. Starting from writing out your ideas about an ideal life in a column, replicated in hundreds of cozy articles, and ending with a three-day meditation on the slopes of the Tien Shan. The problem is that it suits different people different ways and what may be a useful practice for some may be a waste of time for others.
So, what method of finding yourself do I propose?
We will go from the opposite. From the opposite in the literal and figurative sense: from disgusting stereotypes that interfere with effective living. Actually, this is one of the obstacles on the way to real life. And - attention! - the path to this very real life often begins with the realization of what a veil lies before your eyes, how much you do not understand and did not even suspect the existence of many things. And now, in order.
First. Almost all of us have certain stereotypes and prejudices. Having gotten rid of them we still Not let's find our own destiny (I don't like this pretentious word, but don't poke everywhere "find your self"). Without them, we risk being left simply without any beliefs and principles, without an inner core. But we need to get rid of at least part of it, and the sooner the better.
Second. There is a group of prejudices that life itself often rids people of in one way or another. In general, if you wish, you can distinguish many types of stereotypes. There are those with whom we were awarded by upbringing, parents and school. There are those developed by one’s own cones, as a result of failures in life (or vice versa, successes). And then there are cockroaches that have settled in your head as a result of regular communication with a certain circle of people. People of different professions, social status and age (and so on) have different stereotypes. In extreme cases, this results in professional deformation of the individual. So, if the group of people to which you belong is quite narrow and specific in some way, then, most likely, the stereotypes that it instills are quite easy to destroy.(If something is not clear here, don’t worry, there will be an example below;)
And finally, the essence of the method.
Which is very simple. You need to destroy the stereotypes created by those around you. As a rule, liberation from them gives a powerful impetus to the thought process. You naturally begin to think about life and wonder at yourself - how could you not understand such simple things.
Now, in order.
1. Destruction of group stereotypes. Everything is simple here. We communicate with other people who do not belong to the “circle” and try to understand and even slightly accept their values and aspirations, which are different from ours. Usually people never do this (unless life pokes their nose at the fact that their aspirations are worthless, that they are chasing something worthless).
It is common for a person to subconsciously consider his own style of life and thinking to be the most correct. Otherwise, his life will be very uncomfortable. Therefore, you will have to make some effort not to look down on other people's values and goals. Just try to weigh them objectively.
2. The second step is more difficult. It is important not to ruin the awakened doubts about the complete correctness of the chosen paths and values. What usually happens? If a person is pointed out that he is not living very correctly and is striving for the wrong things, he does - what? That's right, he runs to like-minded people and, after chatting with them for an hour or two, his spirit brightens and he is filled with joy. Let the experts correct me, but, as far as I know, it is very difficult to cure alcoholism if you do not separate the person from the company in which he drinks. Same with everything else. Only the beliefs that dominate in different microsocieties (wow, how I screwed up) can be anything, and not just “drinking and boozing is our everything.”
3. Now it is important that reflections in the spirit of “there is something I’m doing/thinking wrong in my life” do not turn into complete negativity. You need to concentrate on positive questions: “what should I do?” “What would a person do without cockroaches”? etc.
4. Actually, that's all. The process is running (if running). We began to get rid of stereotypes - slowly and naturally. Why natural? Because our group stereotypes are already being tested every day: billions of people on Earth live differently and strive for different goals. Moreover, if this process is controlled consciously, it goes much faster, and most importantly, we do not just shed prejudices. We replace them with consciously developed values and goals that are fundamentally important to us and based on reality, and not on human misconceptions.
This is a fundamental point: as I wrote above, simply by getting rid of all the cockroaches, a person risks remaining in a psychologically uncomfortable, hostile environment. And this does not bode well, of course.
If all of the above seemed to you reasoning divorced from life, then delve into the example. Private.
When I was at university, we had a very strong academic group that went through the fire and water of a competition of 20 people/place. Accordingly, a lot of good girls have been selected, who have been drummed into them since childhood that an A is “our everything.” I've never been much of a slob, but in this company I felt like one. And - attention - literally in a couple of months I adopted a bunch of stereotypes from my environment. It happened unnoticed and I only realized it later, a couple of years later. And then - I really earnestly studied, studied and studied. By obtaining knowledge that I absolutely don’t need right now.
Do you understand? A person begins to share the values of a group of people with whom he constantly communicates. It is an innate human need to belong to a group. We all understand that a group can profess any values and strive for any goals.
But that's not what's important. The important thing is that it was precisely when I realized the unrealistic stupidity of intensive study, monstrously divorced from life, that I began to think about important things. About what we still need to strive for. About what real success in life is. About how to find inner freedom. And about many more things. And, it seems to me, I finally found myself.
And all this happened almost by itself. But what if you make an effort and manage this process wisely, huh?
Good luck!!!
P.S. Perhaps it would be superfluous to emphasize that this method of finding oneself in life is not suitable for everyone, but only for those who have many group (or other easily destroyed) stereotypes. Unfortunately, there is no universal way. But that’s even more interesting, isn’t it?
A stereotype (Greek stereos + typos - “solid” + “imprint”) is an established attitude towards current events, developed on the basis of comparison with their internal ideals. A system of stereotypes constitutes a worldview. Stereotypes, like established opinions, sometimes carry an emotional charge. Both useful and positive, and not so much.
There are many stereotypes that live in a person’s subconscious. They manifest themselves in his behavior, lifestyle and often interfere with living a full life. From childhood, a child is taught what to do and what not to do. What he should be like, how he should behave. Traditional roles imposed public opinion, are subsequently transformed into a variety of stereotypes.
From the moment of birth, a certain type of behavior is imposed on the child. Boys should play with soldiers and cars, girls with dolls. And no one gives them freedom of choice in terms of toys. The same thing happens in adult life. Only now the number of stereotypes is increasing. The desire to comply with social regulations often runs counter to a person’s true intentions and gives rise to various negative derivatives in him: anxiety, fear, anger, aggression. To cultivate positivity in yourself, you need to break down established opinions and labels. The peculiarity of stereotypes is that they penetrate very firmly into a person’s consciousness and are difficult to get rid of. These are barriers to happiness, barriers that must be overcome.
How are stereotypes formed? They are formed mainly spontaneously, from early childhood. By communicating with people, the child learns the norms and rules of thinking. Just as a person learns to speak in contact with other people, he also learns to think. People are brought up in certain political, moral, aesthetic spheres of society, which shape their views and beliefs. In the same way they are brought up in the intellectual, thinking sphere of a certain social group or public environment. Under the influence of such an environment, human thinking skills are primarily developed. The initial, initial sphere (spiritual beginning) for a child is the family.
The child “takes photographs” of the family ready-made forms and the ways of thinking that his relatives present to him in communication with him. At this stage, there is precisely “photography” of these forms and ways of thinking without their critical awareness. A child, like a sponge, absorbs everything. These forms and methods of reasoning enter his subconscious and settle in him in the form ready-made stereotypes thinking. The forms and ways of thinking that have settled in the subconscious can be both logically correct (meeting the requirements of the laws of thinking) and logically incorrect (developed in violation of these laws). If the logical culture of thinking of relatives is high, then the forms and methods of thinking of the child are as logically correct as possible. If the culture is low, then in many ways the child learns logically incorrect ways. And, accordingly, the stereotypes of thinking are the same. Let's take a look at the main individual and social stereotypes
Stereotype #1
"Children must live up to their parents' expectations"
Starting from the first months of life, the child becomes aware of himself through his relationship with his parents. This spiritual connection continues throughout life. The parent acts as a bearer of established stereotypes for the child, social norms and rules. In addition, he projects the future little man, which is open to all kinds of influences. The process of parental influence occurs continuously and forms the baby’s own picture of the world. It is from mom and dad, grandparents, that children receive information about their appearance, abilities and talents. Through the prism of these assessments, the child learns about what behavior is desirable and what is not.
Scenario A - expectations are too high
Parents know well what they want from their child and strive with all their might to achieve it. They constantly set tasks for him that the baby simply must cope with. If he fails to cope, he will inevitably face the discontent of his parents. This situation keeps the child in constant tense anticipation: whether he managed to please his parents or not. In later life, he will always strive to be the first, to achieve high results at any cost, and any failure will lead, at a minimum, to frustration (failure).
Scenario B - expectations are too low
As a child, such a child constantly hears from his parents: “you can’t”, “you won’t be able to”, “you won’t succeed like ...” As a result, he stops striving for his goals and does not try to achieve even very achievable results . The habit of shifting responsibility to other people will become so ingrained that a person will always follow this principle.
How to break the stereotype?
Parents should perceive their children not as bearers of some talents, but accept them for who they are. Soberly assess their strengths and capabilities, do not put pressure, but be ready to always come to the rescue and give advice.
Every person is influenced to one degree or another by family stereotypes. If the behavior program imposed by the parents is not suitable for addressing various life situations, you need to try to change your initial settings. Do not adapt to the opinions of others, but find your own, complete picture of the world.
And finally, here are the words of the creator of Gestalt therapy, Frederick Perls:
"I do my thing. And you do yours. I do not live in this world to meet your expectations. And you do not live in this world to meet mine. You are you, and I am me. And if we If we happen to find each other, that’s great. If not, then it can’t be helped.”
It’s the same with a child: he doesn’t owe anyone anything and is not obliged to live up to his mother’s and father’s expectations. Parents need to focus their energy on developing the abilities inherent in nature, and not molding the child into what they would like to see. Children are the most important thing in life. These are small individuals, they are valuable in themselves, regardless of parental attitudes...
Stereotype No. 2
"The school should educate the child"
Most parents today have a certain stereotype in their perception of school. Giving the child to educational institution, many mothers and fathers abdicate responsibility for raising him. And a private school often further reinforces this stereotype: I pay, so everyone owes me.
So what contribution does school make to the development of a child?
Its task is to provide assistance in the upbringing and formation of the child’s personality, and not to assume all educational and educational functions!
The school system as a whole exists based on standards and stereotypes. Democratic and alternative models are much less common. The child fits into the established framework of school life and tries to “find himself” throughout the ten years of schooling.
How to break the stereotype?
Reconsider your parenting position and accept responsibility for born child. When making any decision (enrolling in a kindergarten, finding a nanny, and then choosing a school), parents are obliged to predict and adjust their plans with reality.
And the most important purpose in life is to learn to raise their children throughout their lives! After all, children and their upbringing require daily dedication, warmth, care and love. What you give is what you get in return, so try to give them as much as possible!
Stereotype No. 3
"A woman should get married"
This traditional attitude is imposed by society from childhood. It is generally accepted that a man is the breadwinner, and a woman is the keeper of the hearth. These gender stereotypes act as social norms.
Gender stereotypes are ideas about the differences between men and women that are stable for a given society in a given historical period, standardized ideas about behavior patterns and character traits that correspond to the concepts of “male” and “female.”
However, over time, roles dating back to the distant past have been redistributed. A modern woman is able to combine several functions, and not just be responsible for the household. Or even completely abandon the family component, which is extremely difficult to do without causing public censure. But a woman who is a priori oriented only towards the family may turn out to be ill-prepared for others social roles, which are likely to be in her life.
In our country, a woman who does not start a family is perceived by many as a failure. As a result, fearing public condemnation, girls get married simply because “it’s necessary” and try to save the family by any means, even to the detriment of their own interests and life values.
There is a breakdown of the picture of the world that a woman created for herself under the influence of various opinions both from the family and from the outside. The cliche “a woman should have a family” makes her unhappy and dissatisfied, and all because she did not come to what is important to her on her own, but succumbed to the conditions dictated by society. But every person is individual. What is good for one is not suitable for another. In addition, the infrastructure of the family itself undergoes significant changes in the process of development of human civilization, to which one must also be able to adapt.
How to break the stereotype?
The woman became much stronger and in her capabilities was almost equal to the man, and in some places even surpassed him. Hence the redistribution of roles, the discarding of those functions imposed by established public opinion that a woman does not want to take on. What matters to her is what her heart and soul strive for, and this desire is not always family. If she is interested in a family, she will definitely create one. And if not?! Why does a single person immediately become labeled as “lonely”, “loser”, etc.? And if he is a brilliant specialist, a talented leader, knows how to repair cars well, an excellent person.
It is important to accept the life of another as it is, not to judge, not to impose your point of view, not to cultivate stupid public opinion in yourself. Let each person decide whether to let someone into his life or not, let him build his own, only correct option life. ...The higher the need for public approval, the greater the dependence on it. And no one knows where this “blind” dependence will lead...
Of course, “it is impossible to live in society and be free from it,” but only we decide whether to accept manipulations from the outside, follow them or not? Limit yourself in something, allow other people to take the reins of your life or not? There is always a choice. And he is behind you.
So: stereotypes can be ethnic, role, gender, age, status, etc. According to their content, they are divided into two categories: stereotypes that characterize people as members of certain national and political groups, and stereotypes that characterize personal characteristics people by their behavior, physical qualities, appearance, etc. Today we will continue the list of the most common stereotypes, as well as “methods of combating” them.
"Hard Imprint"
The term “social stereotype” (from the Greek stereos - solid + typos - imprint) was first introduced by the American journalist Walter Lippman. In Lippmann’s concept, two types of knowledge can be distinguished on which a person relies when understanding any phenomena social life. First of all, this is the information that he acquires during own life. But this information does not provide a complete picture of the world, “since the surrounding reality is too large, too complex and changeable,” but the possibilities personal experience limited. A person fills the resulting gaps in knowledge with information drawn from various sources of human culture. But this type of knowledge is not perfect - it often gives a distorted idea of the world. Despite this, such ideas have great stability and are used by people as “codes” (evaluation criteria) of phenomena, facts and events of the surrounding reality. Walter Lippmann called such rigid knowledge codes, assimilated in ready-made form, stereotypes.
But today, contrary to theory, we invite you to destroy the most famous of them!
Stereotype No. 4
"Appearance is more important than internal content"
One of the most common stereotypes is the perception of another person according to certain characteristics: a bespectacled person is smart, a blonde is stupid, a red-haired person is shameless, a thin-lipped or thin person is evil, a plump person is good-natured, etc. These generally accepted opinions about people's appearance "work", as a rule, at the first meeting.
An example of an appearance stereotype that operates mainly on an unconscious level is the stereotype “beautiful means good, positive.” Attractive people are attributed positive personal qualities, and less attractive - negative.
How to break the stereotype?
Learn to recognize another person and accept his position in life. This means looking for that very “zest”: talking with him, understanding and accepting what you disagree with. Natural appearance is not everything. Much more important is the inner content, mysterious charm, and the presence of a sense of humor.
Sincerity, openness, purity, honesty are much more valuable than curls or plump lips...
World history knows facts when people who do not have beauty or outstanding external data have earned worldwide recognition.
Stereotype No. 5
"Beauty requires sacrifice..."
This stereotype was established at the end of the last century. At the beginning of the new century, the criteria for beauty changed significantly. And yet, hundreds of thousands of women and men do not stop swallowing packs of suspicious diet pills and torturing themselves with dubious diets, trying newfangled plastic surgery practices, paying a stupid and peculiar tribute to society and the notorious cliché 90-60-90.
How to break the stereotype?
“Glossy beauties and beauties” is just the fashion industry, a business set on a broad track, where universal recognition and imitation are replaced by a surrogate for beauty. Beauty culture does not require sacrifice. Beauty culture is not at all the now fashionable fasting, expensive cosmetic products or plastic surgery, requiring sacrifices in the literal and figurative sense. The culture of beauty is the worldview of a self-sufficient and satisfied person who finds joy in his own existence!
Stereotype No. 6
"A man is strength, a woman is weakness"
From time immemorial there has been an opinion that a man is strength and heroism, a woman is weakness and humility. Perhaps in past centuries it was appropriate to think and talk about this, but not now...
How to break the stereotype?
Alas, roles in society have long been redistributed. Today, in order to succeed in the current competitive environment, a woman must constantly demonstrate the qualities characteristic of men. And if in a man such qualities as toughness, integrity, assertiveness, and ambition are “healthy,” then in the case of a woman they are rated with a “minus” sign. And yet, if these qualities prevail in a woman, she receives best case scenario stamp "bitch", at worst - " blue stocking"Hence there is an opinion that, while maintaining the position of the "iron lady", Strong woman simply has no room for error. Otherwise, she risks being overthrown. “Sometimes it’s worth admitting your own weakness and thereby disarming your partner,” Marina Sergeevna, an experienced manager and simply a charming woman, revealed a special secret to us. “Sometimes it’s worth behaving in such a way that it would be inconvenient for your partner to refuse a given undertaking.” And one more thing... a man and a woman are made for each other. And a woman has a special role - the role of a guardian, who allows her to decorate the world around her.
Stereotype No. 7
"The man does not have a car"
“I know one man, quite interesting, prominent, successful, but does not have a car,” thirty-five-year-old Marina Petrovna admitted to us. “In my opinion, this is strange. There is even an opinion among people that if a man does not have a car, then he is at best insolvent, at worst a failure."
How to break the stereotype?
“...And I once asked a friend of mine why he didn’t have his own car,” continued Marina Petrovna. “Imagine, he’s feeling self-esteem answered me: “Having a car is a burdensome task for me. Its maintenance, care, and the driving itself, especially in today’s traffic jams, takes away too much of my precious time and energy, which I happily spend on family and leisure.” In principle, there is nothing scary or strange in the fact that I go to work by bus, and to the dacha or fishing by train."
Stereotype No. 8
"A woman should..."
A persistent and most “deadly” stereotype for many women is that a woman must get married before the age of 25-28, otherwise she will remain an “old maid”. And further: A woman is always a professional worse than a man. A woman must give birth to a child, because giving birth is her main function. Woman + car + technology are incompatible. A woman's place is in the kitchen.
How to break the stereotype?
Let's start with the fact that nobody cares modern woman should not! Today, a woman has become more than just independent. She successfully makes a career, is involved in politics and business. And with all this, she often remains a desirable wife or girlfriend; loving and beloved mother or grandmother. Unfortunately (or fortunately), the time of muslin young ladies is a thing of the past.
Another common stereotype: that women stupider than men. By the way, it is a known fact that the highest IQ in the world was demonstrated by a representative of the fair sex, and it was 228...
Stereotype No. 9
"Men do not cry"
“Sadness not expressed in tears makes the insides cry,” said one of the greats. Should a man cry, does he have the right to do so? Humanity has long decided that this is the lot of women. Don’t we tell our little sons: “Why are you crying like a girl? Don’t cry, you’re a man!”
How to break the stereotype?
Just cry. Nature has endowed man with a unique opportunity, through tears and crying, to “displace” “unnecessary rubbish” from the soul, that is, pain, resentment, grief. Thus, cleansing the body of harmful psychological influences that otherwise purposefully act on somatics. Hence: gastritis, ulcers, heart attacks and many other diseases. In addition, instead of just crying on his “native shoulder,” the man begins to seek solace in alcohol. That's why wise women by “allowing” a man to cry, they recognize real masculinity in them!
Stereotype No. 10
Single mothers are unhappy
This myth has long been debunked, but, unfortunately, still has its harmful effects. Not only the world is changing, but also principles family life. If a man is a tyrant, a drunkard and a rowdy, where do you think a woman and her child will be more comfortable? Of course, outside of such a marriage. It is in such a marriage that a woman feels more unhappy and happier after a divorce.
How to break the stereotype?
In this stereotype, society expresses its position - a child should live in a full-fledged family! It's hard to argue with that. Any mistake by adults leads to suffering for children. But, if a woman decides to raise herself, a double responsibility falls on her shoulders - to be both a father and a mother to the child. It is easy to be weak, unhappy, dependent, it is difficult to become strong and independent. “It’s better to be alone than to live with just anyone,” these women say today...
“In order not to fight windmills, you just need to live. Don’t look back at others and don’t cause harm to people. Only then can you break something and then build...”, finished the thought of Irina, a mother who is raising five-year-old Anton on her own.
Stereotype No. 11
"It is believed that a woman should not be the first to tell a man about her feelings..."
This is one of the stable stereotypes of society that lives in our subconscious. There are not many women in the world who can be the first to express their feelings to a man. The reason is that “that’s not how it’s done.” I would like to ask, by whom and when?
How to break the stereotype?
It seems to me that a woman should not be particularly persistent,” Roman told us. - At least she shouldn't talk about her feelings directly. And in order to show them towards a man, she has tenderness and, in the end, cunning! And you should achieve your goal exclusively with the help of these qualities."
Stereotype No. 12
"The Internet is not a place for dating"
It is believed that it is impossible to make decent acquaintances on the Internet. Many are sure that this is even dangerous. The persistent stereotype that “normal” people don’t meet people on the Internet is harsh and monotonous. But at the same time, everyone knows that dating via the Internet opens up new prospects and opportunities.
How to break the stereotype?
“Last year, I married a wonderful man whom I met through a dating site,” our reader Elena told us. “To be honest, I was very wary and skeptical about this type of communication. My friends all said as one: “Lena, this is a utopia!" But, fortunately, “utopia” turned out to be... my soulmate, which I am incredibly happy about. And by the fall, my husband and I will have a baby!"
From the editors I would like to add: we receive many letters from different stories life, including happy couples who met on the Internet.
Stereotype No. 13
"Old age is frailty"
It is generally accepted that the “third age” can only count on sympathy and compassion. But we completely forget that if the “autumn of life” brings with it satisfaction and a sense of unity, then old age becomes a happy time.
How to break the stereotype?
The point is not what a person looks like, but how old he feels.
If, for example, your goal is to make room for you in public transport, then perhaps there is no need to break this stereotype. It’s so convenient to believe in the weakness and infirmity of the elderly. Both to themselves and to those around them. But it’s quite difficult to believe in facts. “I’m 84 years old. Of course, I consider myself a very elderly person,” says reader Polina Fedorovna, “but that’s only according to my passport. But in general, I just live. I love to live. I love my children and grandchildren. Now I live in the country I have beds there, a greenhouse, flowers. And I take care of everything. I live with my grandfather. He’s 92. It’s also hard, of course... But as long as I’m moving, I’m living! ".
We may not have touched on all existing stereotypes. But by voicing some of them, we tried to destroy the cliches that supposedly must be observed. Guided by established templates and clichés, we try to avoid mistakes. And if we break something, then thanks to the notorious laws we persistently justify ourselves.
But! - Recently unequal marriages(both age and social), as well as guests or civilians were considered strict “taboo”. Or separate wallets... Or the fact that a husband should earn more than his wife... Today, these social phenomena have become loyal. There are more and more “violators” of stereotypes among us. And although they cause mixed feelings among the majority, they, like scouts, pave new roads in the minds, thereby proving that everything is possible in this world...
"Empty Chair"
Each stereotype requires careful elaboration. There is a wonderful technique called “empty chair”, which has a double effect. By speaking unspoken words to an “empty chair”, you are thereby freed from tension. Effect one: external discharge occurs. The muscles relax, becoming elastic, wrinkles are smoothed out, and the body becomes flexible. Effect two: internal discharge occurs. Internally, you cease to be afraid of breaking the rules that society stubbornly imposes on you, thereby gaining freedom. You start doing what you consider important and necessary. As a result, there will be people around you who will share and respect your values and views, despite public opinion.
Each of us has our own “cage of conventions” with many rules and strange rituals. This is probably life in its diversity... But if you suddenly feel that all this is preventing you from being happy, feel free to break it, destroy it, fight for your freedom! One day, having destroyed stereotypes, we will find ourselves in a very strange world, where there is a place for talent, interesting meetings, extraordinary actions, which, due to stereotypical thinking, are not supported by society.
Probably, first of all, you should learn to listen to yourself and your heart, and not other people, and... just become happy.
Don't rack your brains, break stereotypes. And be happy!
