Add new sleep attributes. Toys are the best helpers

Cozy and soft cribs with beautiful sides and canopies attract expectant mothers, so future parents pay a lot of attention to choosing a crib. It often happens that dreams of a baby’s sweet sleep in a separate bed are shattered by his categorical reluctance to stay there and by increasingly desperate attempts to win a place for himself next to his beloved mother. Parents must decide for themselves where their child will sleep - in his own nest or on a big bed with mom and dad. If you have decided unequivocally that the little one needs to be “rehomed,” then perseverance and patience will come in handy.

In many families, babies sleep with their parents for quite a long time, but the benefits of this decision are debatable. In any case, there will come a time when the child will have to be moved to his own crib

Reasons for not wanting to sleep separately

The baby spends its first months in a crib, where its main activity is sleep. The newborn grows and with age understands that sleeping next to his mother has many advantages compared to the solitary option in the crib. What is this? Caprice? Not at all, because for babies the close presence of their mother, access to milk and physical contact are very important. How to be? Should the baby be allowed to sleep with his parents? It's up to you to decide.

The crib is so cozy, why doesn’t the baby want to sleep in it? If only you could turn back time, you would happily sleep in your little princess's crib. Children perceive it differently. The thin threads that connect mother and baby from birth instill in the child the need to be close to his beloved parent all the time, to feel her smell, to be able to touch her, to hear her heart beating. Closer to the age of one month, the child begins to increasingly adapt to the world around him and protest against separation from his mother. Endless putting the baby to bed turns into real torture for parents. The child cries, is calmed down and put back in the crib, then everything repeats again. This behavior is quite natural for a baby.

Suitable age

This article talks about typical ways to solve your issues, but each case is unique! If you want to find out from me how to solve your particular problem, ask your question. It's fast and free!

Your question:

Your question has been sent to an expert. Remember this page on social networks to follow the expert’s answers in the comments:

When should you start moving your child into your bed? Not a single pediatrician undertakes to indicate the exact age. Many one-year-old children, mostly artificial babies or those who have “mastered” the pacifier, sleep completely peacefully in their crib from birth - such a replacement for mother is not always justified.

Each breastfed baby will have its own characteristics when it comes to sleep. Some people sleep separately from 3-4 months, when the period of painful colic has passed, while others constantly need their mother’s warmth.

If a child has been sleeping with his parents all the time, you should not start “removing” the baby until he is 2-3 years old, due to the fact that at this age there is a danger of traumatizing the child’s psyche. Start trying to move your child to your own bed after age three. Children are demonstrating their independence with all their might and the information that they can sleep without their mother should be presented in a playful manner.

Rules for teaching yourself to fall asleep on your own

Parents whose children sleep in the same bed with them are very worried that they will not be able to accustom their children to a separate bed, and they will continue to sleep with them until school. Don't worry too much about this. Most children aged 3-5 years old strive to isolate themselves and will happily accept the offer to fall asleep separately. Often, even those little ones who could not sleep without their mother no longer cuddle with their parents, but sleep calmly and soundly all night separately. We recommend starting your first attempts at about 2.5 years.

How to teach a child to fall asleep on his own? Let's discuss steps to help move your baby to a separate bed.

• First, the baby needs to master the technique falling asleep independently. If there was a habit. The child must understand that food comes first, then sleep, and not all together. To help your son or daughter learn to fall asleep without their mother, you need to replace breastfeeding with a light massage or gentle hug.
• An important step is observing rituals. If parents have not introduced such rituals earlier, then it’s time to fix it. Consistent actions before bed (bathing, changing clothes, telling a story) will help teach your baby to fall asleep on his own.
• The baby’s psychological mood is very important when learning to sleep independently. You can come up with a simple but interesting fairy tale story about a little boy or girl who, as a reward for independence, received their own crib, and now this little hero sleeps just like an adult. Over the next few days, encourage your child to do “grown-up” things and tell him that soon he will be able to sleep in his own bed.

Thus, the child should have the feeling of a game in which he strives to succeed and receive a long-awaited prize. This method will be relevant for older children, but you can also talk to kids about “gifts”, preparing them psychologically for a new place to sleep.

Rituals in which mother and baby participate are of great importance for comfortable bedtime - this could be nightly bathing, a lullaby, reading a fairy tale.

Checking the child’s readiness for change

The child will definitely learn to sleep in a crib - it's just a matter of time. Consider his needs and interests, as well as his psychological readiness for change. The advice that we will give on mastering separate sleep will not apply to newborns and infants 6 and even 9 months old. Early "training" will not have psychological assistance for a baby, but will only remind you of circus training.

Your baby is ready to learn to sleep independently in a crib if:

• sleeps soundly at night and wakes up no more than 1-2 times;
• breastfeeding is absent or reduced to three times a day;
• the absence of parents during night awakenings does not cause tears and panic;
• can calmly play alone for 10-15 minutes;
• does not cuddle close to parents during sleep, but sleeps as if apart;
• no health problems;
• there are no psychologically stressful moments (potty training, the birth of a brother/sister, the beginning of visiting kindergarten, weaning from breastfeeding).

When deciding how to teach a child to fall asleep on his own, set the goal not to wean the child from physical intimacy with his parents, but to show the advantages of sleeping separately (we recommend reading:).

Never forbid a child to go to bed with his parents or try to place the child separately as a form of punishment. You need to try to explain to him that sleeping separately is part of adult life and an absolutely natural situation for older children.

Praise your little one for his first attempts and successes in sleeping separately, even if in the morning the child returns to his parents’ bed. Children after one and a half years are often afraid to be alone in the dark, so this behavior is quite understandable.

The inviolability of principles

• Try to get all family members to agree on the issue of sleep. It happens that, having stayed with the grandmother for the night, the child sleeps under her side, which lowers the mother’s authority in the matter of separate sleep.
• When accustoming your child to his crib, introduce a new evening ritual - this could be reading a fairy tale or singing a lullaby. Stay with your baby until he falls asleep to create a feeling of security, and only then leave.
• In a situation where a child wakes up at night, you must definitely approach him and calm him down. If you see that waking up is becoming more frequent, increase the time you wait for your arrival. So, if the baby wakes up for the second time, delay coming for a minute, next time – for two. You can increase the time up to 10 minutes. The child must learn to calm down on his own, so the waiting time needs to be increased every day.
• When approaching the baby, you should not pick him up. Dr. Komarovsky recommends calming the baby without removing him from the crib. Look at the reason for waking up - maybe the child is hungry or his pants are wet, or the reason is too much darkness in the room. Having eliminated the disturbing moments, say good night and leave the room.

Once you break your own rule and take a child into your bed, you undermine the entire system. The baby will feel that sleeping separately is not at all necessary and will call you more and more often and insistently. Such violations show your weaknesses, and children feel this very strongly and learn to use them for their own purposes.

If the baby wakes up and cries, you need to find out what happened to him, but it is advisable not to pull the child out of the crib, if possible. When the problem is solved, mom should leave

Separate sleep - a step into adulthood

At the age of three, it is quite possible to explain to a child that the time has come to learn to sleep separately, as all adults do. Emphasize how much you trust him and how confident he is that he will succeed in this new endeavor.

You can jointly choose beautiful bedding with images of characters from your favorite cartoons, saying that even your parents don’t have such a wonderful set. The baby can independently choose a soft pillow or a beautiful night light. Offer to choose a toy that will be his companion or purposefully buy a new one for sleep.

This rarely happens, but it happens... And not because you bad parent! There are just such temperamental and stubborn children who do not want to give up.

For this reason, many experts who deal with sleep problems recommend teaching your baby to fall asleep on his own (in other words, “letting him cry it out”).

Yes, I admit that sometimes letting your baby cry is necessary - but it shouldn't be the first thing you do. We can all open the door by kicking it, but wouldn't you rather turn the handle?

Think about whether the baby has had any mental trauma, whether there are any fears, whether there have been big changes in his life (change child care facility, home or nanny), did he become a witness family quarrels etc.

Having thought about all this, you can think about teaching yourself to fall asleep on your own... But you need to do everything correctly!

Three methods for teaching yourself to fall asleep on your own

Over the past twenty years, experts have identified three strategies for sleep training crying, reluctant babies:

• "Once and For All" (also called "Eradicate").
• "Longer and Longer" (also called "Gradual Eradication").
• “Pick Up/Put Down” (also called “Fade” or “Mom’s Nearby”).

Below is short review these methods, as well as my recommendations for choosing a course of action.

Once and for all

With this method, you put your baby in his crib, bid him goodnight, and then walk away and ignore all his screams and cries until the morning.

Experts who advocate the use of this method believe that children should be allowed to cry so as not to spoil them. But there are many reasons why I recommend you avoid this approach:

• If your child throws up or accidentally hurts himself, you won't know until the morning.
• Your sudden absence can leave your child confused and feeling abandoned.
• Your baby will be very upset if he is sensitive and fearful by nature, or if he is stressed from the events of the day.
• Some timid and sensitive children simply cannot calm down without receiving support and reassurance.
• It is very disrespectful to ignore the cries of those we love.
• Because of this, parents feel terrible (they experience anxiety, guilt, lack of faith in their strength, a feeling of inadequacy).

Research shows that this approach can be effective. But is it right to show a child all day that he is safe, let him know that “mom and dad will help,” and then destroy this trust as soon as the sun goes down?

Longer and longer

First, determine what your child's temperament is.

Is he unyielding, stubborn and energetic? If so, be prepared to be more forceful and for the baby to cry for an hour or more.

Is your baby timid, sensitive and cautious? If so, you will need to check in with him more often (even if only briefly) to reassure him and show him that he has not been forgotten.

And if the child is very sensitive, is afraid of something or has experienced some kind of trauma or big changes, I strongly recommend not using this approach and moving on to the next one (Pick Up/Put Down).

If you do choose this approach, here's how to proceed. After your usual routine of getting ready for bed:

• Put your baby in bed, turn on white noise, say “Goodnight,” and leave the room. (Older children are helped by small favorite toys or gizmos.)
• Check in with your baby again after three minutes of crying. (Turn off the bright lights in the hallway, leave only the night light in the room.)
• Do not enter the room, just open the door a crack and stick your head through the crack for a few seconds (enough to check that the child is not injured or vomited). Say something gentle and reassuring, such as, “Good night, darling. I’ll kiss you as soon as morning comes,” then leave.
• If the baby continues to cry, come back in five minutes, do the same thing and leave. If your baby doesn't calm down, come back in ten minutes, then come back every fifteen and say the same thing all the time. (That's why this approach is called "Longer and Longer.")

You may be afraid that if you only show your baby your face, he will cry even more. But your task is to show your child: you love him and you care about his feelings, but you have decided not to go in and not give in to unreasonable demands.

Resist the temptation to stay long. If you talk to your child longer and move closer to his crib, the baby will most likely cry even more (this is how most children react, but not all). This happens because (1) you're upsetting your baby (like holding a bag of potato chips in front of a hungry child's nose, but only giving him one) and (2) you're teasing him (giving him hope that his cries have reached him). goals, but then you leave the room again).

Prepare for the first night to be difficult. You will have to be tough. And during night awakenings you will need to repeat the whole process.

Usually the second night goes exactly the same or a little worse, but on the third night things get better. And on the evening of the fourth day, most children fall asleep quickly and sleep until the morning.

(Please note: your baby may surprise you by starting to scream again on the third or fourth night and crying for an hour. This may happen if he is unwell, if he is very persistent and stubborn, or if you are inconsistent - talking too much, get too close or stay with him for a long time. If you find yourself in this situation, just make sure your child is okay and stick to your plan.)

Do not use the "longer and longer" method when placing your baby on nap. An irritated child may cry all the time allotted for him, and then feel unhappy until the evening. Fortunately, after installing night sleep, the daytime will be adjusted automatically. So just continue to have a flexible nap schedule and don't forget your favorite toy and proper white noise.

Here are some more tips to help you succeed:

• Make sure both parents agree on the chosen course of action.
• Let go of the idea that if you let your child cry, you are a bad parent (this is not true at all). If, despite an ideal bedtime routine and the right sleep attributes, your baby still won't sleep, gentle sleep training can make everyone happier.
• Start sleep training at the end of the week or before your day off so you can rest the next day.
• If you have a persistent, rebellious, independent and stubborn baby, don't be surprised that he may cry for thirty minutes to an hour the first night... or even longer!
• If your little one sleeps in the same room as a sibling, have the older child sleep in your room or in the living room until school is over. And turn on white noise for the older one so that he doesn’t hear the crying.
• If you live in a one-bedroom apartment, put your baby in the bedroom while you temporarily move into the living room.
• Warn your neighbors about your plans so they don't get worried and call the police! (Offer your neighbors a CD of white noise so they can sleep when your baby cries.)
• Since you won't be able to visit your baby often to change his diaper, apply a thick layer of cream to his bottom to protect the skin.
• Sometimes the pain gets worse when we lie down. So if you think your baby is teething and it's causing him pain, ask your doctor if you can give the medicine thirty minutes before bedtime.

Take note: if after half an hour you feel like you're about to break down and need to go save your crying angel, you can do it. You should always listen to your intuition. But remember that if you behave inconsistently, you may unwittingly convince your child that screaming will allow him to get what he wants.

Explosive reaction - deterioration before cure!

Your immediate reaction in the first 3-6 months of your baby's life actually shows him how much he needs to cry so that you will come faster. This is good, because your baby should know how to call you if he really really needs you.

Unfortunately, just like the boy in the fairy tale who raised a false alarm by shouting “Wolf!”, some children scream louder than the fire alarm when calling for their parents, even if the matter is not urgent. What's even worse is that they can scream incessantly if their parents don't come. (This is especially likely if they are overtired and cranky.) So if you decide to use the Longer and Longer method for sleep training, don't be surprised that the first night your baby cries louder and more insistently than ever before. In fact, this behavior is completely normal on the first and second nights.

Psychologists call this the “explosive response to the cessation of reinforcement” - the child bursts into tears before the behavior pattern comes to an end (or, as they say in psychological language, the behavior pattern “fades away”).

It will probably take two to four days for your baby to understand that there is now an exception to the “you cry, I come” rule that you have been teaching him for the past four months. So gather your strength before this test and remember that the difficulties will end quickly.

Pick it up/put it down - a solution without tears

The "Pick Up/Put Down" method (also called the "Fading Down" method) is what I recommend for parents who want to avoid tears at bedtime. It takes more time, both daily (half an hour to an hour and a half) and overall (four days to two weeks), but can be very effective and less traumatic than other strategies. It is especially suitable for those kids who have a lot of changes in their lives, as well as restless or fearful children.

Here's how to use it:

• Place your baby in the crib (wake him up if he has already fallen asleep).
• If he cries, take him in your arms and calm him down. Show that you understand his feelings by speaking in a calm tone: “I know, I know, my sweetie. Just say: “Mom, take me in your arms!” It’s hard to sleep, isn’t it, my dear?”
• Once your baby has calmed down, put him back in his crib.
• If she cries, pick her up... and repeat the whole cycle over and over again.
• Rock, stroke, talk, and feed as little as possible to reduce your baby's dependence on these sleep-intensive activities.

This approach requires a lot of patience. The first few nights you may have to pick up your baby and put him down fifty times!

As always, turn on low-frequency white noise during all periods of daytime and nighttime sleep and offer your baby a toy or other tactile item. And start studying before your day off so that the next day you can sleep longer in the morning or take a nap in the afternoon.

You should also know that the “Pick Up/Put Down” method does not work well if:

• you over-encourage your child (talking to him, playing with him, breastfeeding) every time you pick him up;
• You have a stubborn, persistent and purposeful child who doesn’t just give up. (In this case, you can return to the "Longer and Longer" method.)

When using the Once and For All and Longer and Longer methods, you are the one who sets your desired bedtime. But with the "Pick Up/Drop Down" method, you start at the time your baby wants to sleep, and then you move the start of this procedure fifteen minutes earlier and do this every other night until the time you need is established.

What if a child vomits while learning to fall asleep on his own?

One mother from a small island in South Korea wrote, “Our daughter Na Young is now eight months old. For about a month now she wakes up every hour and cries until we take her in our arms. If I sleep holding her, she sleeps for at least two hours, but then I don't get much sleep. I tried to just let her cry, but every time she choked and vomited.”

Some babies cry so much that their abdominal muscles tense up and the contents of their stomach are expelled. Naturally, when this happens, parents can feel terribly guilty. We want to immediately clean and soothe our babies before putting them back down.

But it's not that simple: if you pamper and pet your baby too much after he's vomited, you may inadvertently let him know that vomiting is... quick way get the attention you want.

But what should you do if your baby throws up on the first night of sleep training?

Clean him up quickly, avoiding long hugs and soothing conversations. Make sure he is not sick, change the crib sheets and change your baby's clothes, and then put him back down. Say “Good night” and follow your chosen plan again. If you overdo it with caresses, the baby may perceive them as encouragement and vomiting will become a habit.

How to teach yourself to fall asleep on your own if you and your baby sleep in the same bedroom

Sleep training a baby who sleeps in the same room as you is possible, but definitely difficult.

When your baby sees you, he will naturally try again and again to persuade you to pick him up. This is why - if at all possible - I advise you and your spouse to sleep in the living room, and let your child stay in the bedroom while you sleep train him. Or consider using the "Pick Up/Put Down" method instead of the "Longer and Longer" method.

But in case you have no choice, I will give you some tips to help you get through the training:

• Install a screen or hang a sheet in the room so your child cannot see you.
• If your baby is over nine months old, try to get him interested in a small toy or item in advance.
• Play loud white noise so your baby can't hear you breathing, talking, or snoring (this will make his crying less disturbing to you).
• You can begin to train yourself to fall asleep on your own during nap periods. This way your baby will respond faster when you introduce the new system in the evening.

Beware - depression may still be waiting for you

I hope you haven't experienced the anxiety and loneliness that comes with postpartum depression (PPD). However, it's important to know that while PPD usually happens soon after your baby is born, it can also sneak up on you many months after giving birth and last up to several years. So if you're feeling sad and anxious, don't hesitate to seek help.

And remember that by addressing your child's sleep problem, you can make progress in the fight against depression. One group of researchers reported that 45% of mothers recovered from depression by improving their children's sleep patterns.

Retraining: how to help a child after he deviates from the routine

Don't be surprised if you need to teach your baby to fall asleep again a couple of months after you do it the first time. Children can return to old scheme By various reasons, including illness, travel (time zone changes), frightening events or big life changes.

Fortunately, this deviation from the usual routine can correct itself after a few days. However, if the problem does not solve, simply return to your chosen sleep training method and do everything step by step. Usually everything turns out faster and easier each time.

One of the most important prerequisites for a calm and long night's sleep for your baby is the ability to fall asleep independently in his crib. But how to accustom him to this?

Why does even a very tired baby who falls asleep in your arms begin to cry when he suddenly finds himself alone in the crib? And why does an older child rarely go to bed on his own and sometimes fall asleep right during play, one might say, against his will?

1. Every little one craves most of all the closeness of his parents. Finding himself alone in bed means for him to part with his parents, to no longer feel their soothing closeness and native warmth. Of course, it is rare that a child will agree to this without protest, especially if he is spoiled during the day parental attention and "can't get away with it."
2. Often, the baby falls asleep while breastfeeding or in the arms of the mother. Having noticed once that as soon as he falls asleep, his mother tries to carefully move him into a crib, the baby will next time struggle to resist sleep so as not to miss this moment. Having fallen asleep, he will sleep very lightly. When he feels you transfer him to his crib, he will immediately wake up and express his disagreement with a loud cry. Try to fall asleep yourself if you know, for example, that as soon as you close your eyes, someone will steal the blanket from you...
3. Maybe the baby happened to wake up in the crib at night wet, cold, hungry or scared bad dream. He felt lonely and forgotten, and he had to wait longer for his mother to come than he usually did during the day. After such an experience, the baby may experience a subconscious fear of sleep and protest when he finds himself alone in his crib.
4. Very often the baby we are trying to put to sleep is simply not tired enough yet.
5. For an older child, going to bed means parting with some interesting activity, finish the game, say goodbye to the guests sitting in the next room, etc.
6. Knowing that parents or older brothers and sisters are not yet going to bed, the baby does not want to agree with such “injustice.”
7. Some children are afraid of the dark.
8. Sometimes children don't want to go to bed simply because we spoiled them. The child uses the evening persuasion of his parents to stall for time, or they serve as a reason for self-affirmation.

So, five-year-old Verochka came up with a new reason every evening not to go to bed. Either she was thirsty, then she couldn’t find her favorite toy, or the pillow slipped to one side. Other days she called her mother because she forgot to kiss her goodnight or ask her about something important. Sometimes Verochka's pajamas slipped, sometimes she was too hot or cold. From time to time she heard strange sounds in the room or saw shadows moving along the wall. On some days, she wanted to go to the toilet several times in a row, or her empty stomach did not allow the girl to sleep. Verochka either itched or ached... But in fact, the girl simply enjoyed the attention of her mother, who returned to her daughter’s room several times every evening and calmed her down.

If many children are afraid of the dark, then Sashenka was afraid of silence. The parents did not know this for a long time and tried unsuccessfully to teach the boy to fall asleep alone in his room behind a closed door. One day, as usual, closing the door to his room, my mother went into the kitchen. To her surprise, this time she did not hear the usual screams and protests. Thinking that the baby had finally learned to fall asleep alone, the mother started doing housework - washing the dishes, putting them away, boiling tea, etc. When she finished her chores and went to see if her son was really sleeping, she found that the door to the children's room was wide open open and the boy sleeps serenely in his bed. Sasha learned to get out of the crib and opened the door on his own! And the clatter of dishes, the splash of water and the noise of a boiling kettle meant to him that his mother was nearby and, therefore, he could sleep peacefully...

Sometimes it may turn out that helping your baby fall asleep is easier than you thought. So, fearful children can be calmed by a night light or an open door to the children's room, and older children fall asleep more willingly if they are allowed to go to bed an hour later.

How to teach your baby to fall asleep on his own from the very beginning

You can teach your baby to fall asleep without the help of parents and without any aids at any age. But babies aged from 1.5 to 3 months get used to it most easily. Therefore, it is better to start with accustoming gradually from birth, while the child is not yet accustomed to various kinds of unfavorable rituals, from which it is not so easy to wean him later. If such habits have already developed, parents will need a little more patience, because the baby is unlikely to give them up voluntarily. But even in this case, the problem is completely solvable, and its solution will most likely take no more than a week!

1. To teach you to fall asleep on your own infant, you need to put him alone in the crib as often as possible from the very beginning, nevertheless remaining close to him. If you carry your baby in your arms all day or rock him in a stroller during the day, then when he finds himself alone in a stationary crib, he will feel insecure. This sensation will be unusual for the baby, and he is unlikely to be able to sleep peacefully. A baby who is accustomed to a crib feels calm there, and in a familiar environment, any child falls asleep better.
2. Putting a baby alone in a crib does not mean leaving him there for a long time, especially if he is crying. No, of course, a crying child needs to be calmed down. But once he stops crying, don't carry him in your arms. Put him back where he can see you or hear your voice. Talk to him, sing to him, but leave him in the crib so that he gradually gets used to it. Among other things, the child will learn to deal with himself in this way: look at his hands or play with them, look around, listen to the sounds around him, etc. Well, you yourself will have time to do more things that you wouldn’t have time to do if the baby was in your arms all the time.
3. If the baby falls asleep only on your chest at first, it’s okay. No need to wake him up. For starters, it will be enough if he gets used to his crib while he is awake. When he has a routine with a certain sleep time, you need to gradually begin to separate food and sleep. Babies who like to sleep on the chest or with a bottle are best fed when they wake up or at least some time before bedtime. And by the time the baby usually falls asleep, you need to put him alone in the crib. By this time, he is already tired and his “internal clock” has switched to sleep, so it will be easier for him to fall asleep without your help.
4. At first, it is not necessary to put your child alone in the crib before bed every time. You can start with once or twice a day, at the same time when your baby, in your experience, falls asleep most easily. For most children this is the evening, but there are children who fall asleep faster in the morning or afternoon. The main thing is for you and the baby to feel that falling asleep on your own is, in principle, possible. Then it will become a habit - it's only a matter of time.
5. What should you do if you put your baby in the crib before going to bed and he starts crying bitterly? Try to calm him down first without picking him up. Pet him, sing a song, talk to him, tell him how much you love him. Explain that it’s time to sleep in order to gain new strength, that you are nearby and will protect the baby while he sleeps. If the baby is still crying, pick him up. But once he calms down, put him back in his crib. She cries again - try to calm her down again without picking her up, and only then, if all is in vain, take the baby out of the crib. Maybe he is still too young and it’s worth waiting a couple of weeks and then carefully starting to teach him to fall asleep on his own again.<...>
6. A pacifier helps some children fall asleep. But as soon as the baby is sound asleep, carefully remove the pacifier from his mouth, otherwise he will wake up when he loses it in his sleep. And if a baby wakes up at night, looks for a pacifier and cries, then it can become an effective help only when he learns to find it himself.
7. In the first months of life, babies sleep better if they rest the top of their head on a rolled-up diaper, pillow or blanket-protected headboard. It reminds them of the feeling in the womb. (My daughter loved this feeling even when she was older. I always covered the top headboard of the bed with a blanket, and my daughter lay on the very top of the pillow so that her head rested against the headboard.)




8. You can also swaddle your baby tighter before bed, which will also remind him of the tightness before birth. And when the baby gets older, a sleeping bag or mother’s shirt tied at the bottom with a knot can help him.
9. Mom's smell generally has a calming effect on babies, and you can simply place some of mom's (worn) clothes next to the baby's head.
10. But do not forget that the main condition for a child to fall asleep on his own is the correct bedtime. The baby must really be tired, otherwise attempts to put him to sleep will not be successful. This will be easiest for you if you have already established a strict daily routine. In this case, you know in advance when the child’s “internal clock” switches to sleep. If not, then you will have to rely on your intuition and experience. A tired baby begins to yawn, rub his eyes, or become capricious for no reason. Try to guess the best one good timing, when his eyes are already closing by themselves, to put him alone in the crib.

Two-month-old Marishka, after eating, fell asleep on her mother’s chest every time. Mom didn’t want to wake up the baby, so the girl slept during the day after each feeding. Of course - warm, cozy, satisfying... In the evening, when Marina’s mother tried to teach the baby to fall asleep on her own in her crib, she desperately resisted. Firstly, she was used to falling asleep only on her chest. Secondly, having slept enough during the day, she was not tired at all in the evening.

Therefore, Marishka’s mother decided to start separating the baby’s meals and sleep during the day. She started feeding her immediately after she woke up. And by the time Marina usually fell asleep, her mother put her alone in her crib and tried to lull her to sleep with affectionate strokes and lullabies. At first, Marishka, who did not understand such “injustice,” often cried and could not sleep. But in the evening, the tired girl instantly fell asleep, without waiting for her mother’s help. She soon realized that if it’s not scary to fall asleep without her mother’s breast in the evening, then she can do it during the day. Especially if shouting still won’t achieve anything...

Kostya's mother-in-law gave her a red and pink night light. She didn't like it, and she put it in the far corner. When the night light in her son's room broke, the mother remembered her gift and took it out from the top shelf. “Let it burn until I buy a new one,” she thought. “Better a scary red night light than leaving the baby in the dark.” With great surprise, Kostya’s mother noticed that in this red-pink light the boy fell asleep much faster. Maybe this light reminded him of his mother's womb? Be that as it may, the disgraced nightlight took a permanent place in Kostya’s room.

The sooner you start teaching your baby to fall asleep on his own, the easier it will be for you to do this!

Svetlana Bernard
From the book "100 simple ways put the baby to bed"

Discussion

Horror, not an article! It’s better to swaddle him tightly from birth, stick a pacifier in, and not accustom him to your hands! So that he can lie in bed and not disturb him - this is just a guide on how to turn a child into a hamster in a cage! And of course, it’s better from birth that he doesn’t ask for any hands or affection!

05/24/2018 23:00:01, Ekaterina

Mom Olga, a good table on sleep and a technique for teaching yourself to fall asleep on your own (without tears) is in the book “Lifehack for Mommies”; I myself took the information from there when my child had problems sleeping.

Thanks a lot! The article is wonderful, informative, and most importantly, it guides the right direction! she helped us get closer to Svetlana Bernard’s book
From the book "100 Easy Ways to Get Your Baby to Sleep"! For the success of the method, we were helped by the knowledge that the child sleeps enough per day, BUT it is fragmented - and the knowledge came from the table in the book. Having understood the problem, we first shifted sleep in the right direction, and then applied the method of the baby falling asleep independently in the crib. A HUGE request - to make the article more useful, add a table with explanations, or at least a link to the book at the very beginning of the text!!! then I think that the circle of your readers will be able to increase and be grateful! healthy sleep for all children and their parents!

06/22/2016 05:38:42, mother Olga

nonsense, not an article: why have a child if you will raise him in a crib, and such methods are not suitable for all children

05/16/2016 01:02:23, Zinaida

Comment on the article "How to teach a child to fall asleep on his own. Part 1"

read the book “How to Put Your Baby to Sleep Without Tears” by E. Paintley. It was recommended to me, but we are either sick or teething, I haven’t tried motion sickness on myself yet. Please advise how to wean a child from motion sickness. We taught her from birth to fall asleep only after...

Discussion

I was rock sick until I was 1 year and 2 months old. At first I was worried (all my friends unanimously talked about how great their children are, they fall asleep on their own), and then she stopped tormenting herself and the child and rocked her in her arms. And one evening he began screaming in my arms and stretching his hands towards the crib, since then for a month he has not wanted me to rock him to sleep, apparently he himself was no longer comfortable falling asleep in his arms.

read the book “How to Put Your Baby to Sleep Without Tears” by E. Paintley. It was recommended to me, but we are either sick or teething, I haven’t tried it on myself yet :) but maybe it will help you

Child from 1 to 3. Raising a child from one to three years: hardening and development, nutrition and illness, daily routine and development of household skills. Section: Parental experience (Sorry for the stupid question from the mother of two children:))) How can I put my child to sleep without a bottle and not...

Discussion

I have them sleep at different times, I put them to bed in turns, read a book to the older one and leave, the little one falls asleep with his chest (the older one is hanging out in another room at this time)

Both of me sleep in the same bed (a large adult double :))) - so after lunch and brushing my teeth, I put them both to bed at once: we put on pajamas, the dogs in our arms - and “ch-ch-ch to sleep, when I come, I’ll trust you :)))” If before this it’s normal to take a walk, swim and have a hearty lunch, then they fall asleep.

01/24/2007 13:16:32, Tatyana L

Section: -- gatherings (rock the baby while lying down). Feeding while lying down and rocking. How do you go to bed? Should we stop rocking the child ourselves and allow the child to cry his heart out, or will the child himself ever refuse such a ritual?

Discussion

And the pediatrician recently swore at me about this very issue! Regarding feeding while lying down. It is necessary either for the child to be in a semi-sitting position, or at least to provide some kind of cushion. I don’t remember what disease this causes (not otitis media, in my opinion), but the problem is that when feeding while lying down, the leaking milk can flow into the ear, especially if the head is not on the side, but straight. That's when inflammation can occur. Still, otitis media, probably...

This will not cause otitis media.

How to put a child to sleep - 5 rules. Sometimes the task of putting babies to sleep sometimes turns out to be very difficult for parents - the child seems tired, but does not want to go to bed. How to put the 1st, 5th baby to sleep? we are up to s.

Discussion

go to the website motherhood.ru, there is a topic on “going to bed on your own”, just read the one from last year earlier. The problem is relevant and the topic, in my opinion, is still ongoing. And... be patient. I went through this.

We introduced a ritual and everything became easier. Be sure to have a shower/bath, then kefir, then mom reads 3 books of his choice, then dad sings :) - the same song every day - and the child turns his nose to the wall and says “bye, bye.” In extreme cases, he can whine - one more book. They trained for about a month. Only in more early age started in a year. But it is desirable that the child splashes out his supply of energy during the day :).

How to put to bed. Dream. Child from 1 to 3. Raising a child from one to three years: hardening and development, nutrition and illness, daily routine and development of household routines. Not only do you give him the breast, you also need to rock him to sleep. so we can only escape by motion sickness.

Discussion

We have big problems with packing. Not only do you give him the breast, you also have to rock him to sleep. so we can only escape by motion sickness. He never falls asleep on his own :((

I don’t know how to help you: (IMHO, how do you get used to it. I read such topics and think, are we really the only ones who are so unique - we fall asleep in bed ourselves? And she doesn’t like being rocked in her arms, she bends over and asks to go to bed, and then with her Tigers and hares will shake her bed, twice during the day, and at night - I put her in bed, and leave the room after about 10 minutes and cover her :)

During the day we put her to sleep by rocking her to sleep. This is where we make a mistake - and it’s already difficult. Spock advises, when accustoming to a crib, to put the child in bed and sing. Until he was a year old, we were rocked all the time, then he himself gave up rocking and began to fall asleep alone in the crib with a bottle.

Discussion

Until he was a year old, we rocked him all the time, then he gave up rocking himself and began to fall asleep alone in his crib with a bottle. And at one and a half years old, my son began to sleep only with us. He fell asleep in our bed, we shifted him, woke up at night and came back to us. Around the age of two, he began to fall asleep in our bed, and by the age of 2.5 he began to fall asleep in his own. From 1.5 until recently (we are almost 3) after dinner he slept only with us. Now he has a new crib and sleeps only in it.
I think you shouldn’t worry at all, everything will work out on its own.
It’s really hard to rock him to sleep, at this age we only slept in a stroller, we rocked him every 20-30 minutes. I slept like this for 2 weeks, then I agreed to sleep in the crib. And I also took it to bed with me, only mostly after 6 am. I really wanted to sleep, but my son was constantly screaming.
Don't worry everything will work out. Do what is convenient for you and your child, then it will be easier for everyone, and mother and child will be calmer. And a child, if he really wants something, will always achieve it (Spock’s words, but the absolute truth:).

04/28/2000 22:52:47, Lenok

If our child wants to achieve something, he will scream for hours, so Spock is not suitable for us :-). We switched to sleeping separately because... if the child slept with me, then he sucked all night, without letting the boob out of his mouth. It was very uncomfortable for me to sleep like that. especially since he demanded that his tit be changed every hour. At first I was rocked to sleep in the crib with a pacifier, then I began to pat rhythmically on the shoulder or back along with the rocking, then we just switched to patting, then I took the pacifier away. The cassette “Sounds of Nature: Mountain Stream” also helps us a lot to fall asleep. Before we bought it, he sometimes fell asleep in my bathroom in the stroller with the water on. In general, we have a crib next to our bed, one of its walls has been removed, and this is convenient, because in the evening I feed the baby, curl up around him, and he falls asleep, and then I quietly leave, and the rest of the night he sleeps alone, really 2 -Wakes up 3 times. Good night to you!

28.04.2000 10:25:07, Natasha Alekseeva

Rocking a 4 month old baby. . Child from 1 to 3. Raising a child from one to three years: hardening and development, nutrition and motion sickness. Please advise, share your experience of how you put your baby to bed. suitable moment and age 8...

Discussion

Don't let us yell. Let dad carry you in his arms if it’s hard for you, and if your baby really needs it! I don’t know of such examples where children are always and completely without any additional services. They are filled with stimuli: some are sucking a pacifier, some are just holding their mother’s hand, etc.
Our friend’s child was so calm that at 6 months he sometimes fell asleep in the bathtub while bathing. He slept little and constantly sucked his pacifier or finger. Mom is calm, everything seems to be fine. Then, at an appointment with a neurologist, it turned out that this was not all that good.
Just be patient! A normal child requires normal attention.

05/02/2000 22:35:08, Katherine

I don’t remember about 4 months, but when I started getting tired with motion sickness, the method worked: very slowly and weakly! they stroked their nose from the forehead to the tip (so that the little eyes would close on their own) and gently blew on the face (like a breeze;)) - later just a “breeze” was enough...

04/27/2000 21:21:39, pshlf

With the advent of their first child, new parents not only have a huge number of pleasant concerns, but also many questions. The problem is especially troubling baby sleep. After all, all hopes that babies fall asleep on their own and sleep for hours are destroyed already in the first week of communication with a newborn. Some have to rock the baby for hours, while others have to lie next to him throughout the night. But the issue of children's sleep can be solved without any problems. You just need to have a little patience!

Sleep is an important element of harmonious development

Quality sleep plays a big role in the life of any person. Adults spend a third of their lives in the kingdom of Morpheus. Very important proper sleep also for a baby who is awake only 6-7 hours a day. If Small child doesn’t want to fall asleep during the day, which means something is bothering him. A healthy baby must have a day's rest.

Sleep is an essential component of mental and physical development little man. It is during rest that growth hormone is produced. The deep sleep phase is especially important. At this time, new cells appear in the body, and the brain rests. Therefore, if a child does not fall asleep on his own during the day, then he should definitely be helped. You need to tell a story or sing a song to your baby.

Hyperactivity in children can often be a consequence of lack of sleep at night. Lack of sleep leads to the fact that the baby cannot control his emotions. The result is excessive tearfulness and moodiness. Many parents try to correct the situation with the help of medications. But the only thing that needs to be done is to establish proper sleep for the child.

Features of sleep in babies

In children, like in adults, sleep is divided into phases. Many people think that they sleep continuously from evening to morning, but in fact they have to wake up several times during the night. The only difference is that adults can easily fall asleep on their own and often do not even remember their night awakenings. But the child does not fall asleep on his own until If he has already woken up, he may need help from mom or dad.

After one year, it becomes more adult-like. Many children can already sleep through the night without their parents' help. Some are even in a separate room. But it often happens that the child does not want to fall asleep without his parents. Despite this, after a year the baby can already be accustomed to an independent sleeping place.

and baby's sleep

Breastfed newborns eat almost constantly. For them, the mother's breast is not only a source of nutrition. With the help of sucking, the baby quickly calms down and falls asleep. This is not a problem for mothers who follow a natural parenting pattern. They offer the breast to the child at his first request.

It has long been proven that breast milk does not burden the children's stomach. The child can eat even while sleeping. But for parents whose babies are on artificial feeding, the issue of organizing sleep and nutrition should be treated with special attention.

Children whose weight already exceeds 6 kg can easily sleep all night without feeding. Parents should teach their child from an early age that the digestion process stops in the evening. The exception, of course, is breast-feeding. It is advisable to give the baby the mixture no later than an hour before bedtime. If this rule is not followed, you should not be surprised that the child does not fall asleep after feeding.

If your baby still wakes up at night, you can offer him a drink of water. Just a few days - and you can forget about nighttime insomnia.

The benefits and harms of co-sleeping

Psychologists around the world never tire of repeating that it plays a huge role in its psycho-emotional development. The baby always feels safe, and therefore sleeps peacefully. In addition, co-sleeping allows you to establish lactation from the very first days. Despite this, many parents, even before giving birth, wonder how to teach their child to fall asleep on his own. However, some immediately prefer to place the baby in a separate room.

Until three months, every baby needs close contact with its mother. It is vital for him to smell her, to feel the warmth of her body. Therefore, co-sleeping is especially important at this age. If a child falls asleep with hysterics, you should definitely put him in your bed!

Mothers who sleep next to their baby all night get a great night's sleep. After all, there is no need to get up to feed. The baby can independently find the breast of the mother lying nearby. At the same time, you can control the baby’s body temperature and respond to any of his needs. Sleeping together also promotes rapid physical development child.

Sometimes you still have to think about how to teach your child to fall asleep on his own. Overly sensitive mothers may be afraid of harming their child. In this case, sleep cannot be called quality. Not the best option is co-sleeping with both parents, if the father does not deny himself the use of alcoholic beverages. Alcohol significantly reduces sensitivity, which means there is a possibility of the baby suffocating in his sleep.

Baby falls asleep with breastfeeding

Many children get used to falling asleep during feeding from an early age. Moms are not worried about this moment until a certain time. Sucking is one of the most important reflexes of a newborn. Therefore, even if the baby is not hungry, he quickly falls asleep after just a few minutes of breastfeeding. This is a very convenient and quick way to put your baby to sleep.

Sometimes you still have to wean your baby from falling asleep with the breast. It happens that the baby does not let go of the mother's breast during the entire sleep. At the same time, the mother does not get enough sleep. In this case, the breast can be offered only when the baby is really hungry. But a simple pacifier will help put the baby to sleep.

Today there are practically no pediatricians who would not talk about its dangers. Substitute mother's breast, of course, does not benefit the baby. But it is not harmful either if used wisely. It is advisable to offer a pacifier to your child only before bedtime. Giving a pacifier to a baby over a year old not advisable.

The benefits and harms of motion sickness

Since ancient times effective way motion sickness was considered to calm the baby. This was done manually or using special cradles. Our grandmothers and mothers rocked the babies to sleep. Modern parents also use this method. But there are also those who consider motion sickness harmful. They are partly right.

For many parents who are used to rocking to sleep, the child falls asleep only in their arms. It can be quite difficult to transfer him to his crib even after falling asleep. Any seemingly insignificant irritant can wake up a baby. In this case, the motion sickness process has to be repeated again.

Children under one year old have a weak vestibular apparatus. Rapid motion sickness can slow down your baby's brain function. What parents mistake for sleep may turn out to be loss of consciousness. In this case, teaching a child to fall asleep without motion sickness is very important for his physical health.

Despite this, thanks to the gentle swaying, the newborn feels the caress of his parents. And old people claim that people who were rocked in childhood grow up smart and calm.

How to teach a child to fall asleep without motion sickness?

Those who have taught their child to fall asleep while rocking will have to be patient. After all, your baby won’t be able to get used to falling asleep on his own the first time. The process must be gradual. In the warm season, daytime sleep can be combined with a walk outside. Fresh air promotes quick and peaceful sleep. Babies sleep in the stroller long and soundly.

If a child falls asleep only in his arms, even on the street, help will come sling With this device, the mother will not only have peace of mind for her baby, but will also have time to do many things. Sling makes parents more mobile and children calmer.

How to teach a child to fall asleep on his own if there is bad weather outside? Before going to bed, the baby should spend as much energy as possible. You should actively spend time with your baby. You can do gymnastics with him or play educational games. You should only send your child to bed when he is really tired. In this case, the likelihood of falling asleep on your own increases several times.

You should be prepared for the fact that motion sickness will be replaced by another ritual. You can tell your baby a story or sing a song before bed. In this way, the baby will wean itself off parental hands and begin to sleep much more soundly.

When should I move my child to a separate room?

When children fall asleep themselves in their own room, parents have much more freedom. Spouses can pay attention to each other or resolve important issues. But not everyone succeeds in moving the baby into his own room from the very first days. Yes, and this is not necessary. After all, close contact between mother and child in the first years of life is especially important.

Many parents wonder when and how to teach their child to fall asleep independently and in a separate room. Universal Council there is no such thing as this. Each child reacts individually to the events that happen around him. Some children are ready for independent existence in a separate space from the first days of life. But there are also those who are afraid to be alone with themselves even at school age.

Parents must develop their own tactics for moving the baby to a separate space. At first you will have to stay with the child until he falls asleep. The time spent with your son or daughter will need to be reduced daily. Don't worry if the process is too slow. And you certainly shouldn’t yell at a child who is afraid to be alone with himself.

Moving to a separate room is stressful for the baby. Parents must do everything so that he can quickly overcome his own fears.

Insomnia in a child

Moms and dads who are wondering how to teach their child to fall asleep on their own may be faced with the problem of childhood insomnia. A child who is afraid to be alone is preparing himself on a subconscious level for long periods of wakefulness. After all, it is at this time that you can react to danger as quickly as possible. The habit can also cause sleep deprivation. The baby has already formed a certain vision of life. They rock you to sleep - it's time to sleep, they give you breastfeeding - it's time to eat. Breaking such habits is quite difficult.

You can also look for other stimuli. The baby will never sleep if he is hungry, thirsty or in pain. At the same time, he will not only be awake, but also behave restlessly. In this case, the process of moving the child to a separate room will have to be postponed. Any changes in the baby’s life should occur when he is completely healthy and well-fed.

The atmosphere in the room also affects children's sleep. In the evening you should definitely ventilate the room. The optimal temperature is 18-20 degrees Celsius. If the room is too hot, the child will definitely not be able to sleep. Cold also does not contribute to sound and long sleep.

Crash in and out of wakefulness

Parents who do not know how to teach their child to fall asleep on their own often have to deal with the problem of disrupting their child’s sleep and wakefulness patterns. Babies sleep for a long time during the day, and at night they wake up and “walk” for a long time. The problem can be solved quite simply. During the day you need to prevent your baby from sleeping for as long as possible. This, of course, is not easy. You will have to come up with various fun things and distract the baby with the most in interesting ways. But just a few days - and the regime will be restored.

Some rituals help establish a proper routine and help you fall asleep quickly. It is necessary to perform the same actions every day before going to bed. It can be water procedures, then feeding. It is not advisable to play active games with your baby just before bedtime. But read a book with bright pictures Can.

Diet also matters when it comes to sleep. The penultimate feeding before a night's rest should not be filling enough. Then, immediately before bedtime, the child will eat a hearty meal and fall asleep for a long time. At the same time, you should not feed your baby later than an hour before falling asleep. Food should be digested and not interfere with proper rest of the whole body.

A child who has already switched to a one-time nap during the day should fall asleep no later than noon. In this case, before the evening he will have time to gain new impressions and will be able to quickly and independently fall asleep in the evening.

Teaching your baby to sleep on his own is not so easy. There is no need to rush in this matter. The time will come - and the child will wish everyone good night and go to his bed without any problems. In the meantime, you should enjoy close contact with this small and dear person.

The baby is gradually growing up, but the crib is still idle, because he is already accustomed to his mother’s warmth and is categorically against moving to a new place. Not only the child is nervous, but also the mother, and the father is also dissatisfied.

If parents want to know how to teach their child to fall asleep on their own, then they should listen to the recommendations of pediatricians, psychologists and more experienced mothers who were able to survive the stage of accustoming their baby to a crib without any problems.

Parents, when choosing who their child should sleep with, often decide in favor of sleeping together.

In addition, many advocates of natural parenting also advocate a strong baby-mother bond, especially during the newborn period. But there are also disadvantages to this habit.

pros

• A 1 month old baby constantly wakes up at night to get enough of the mother's milk. It is not easy for a woman to get up every time, lift the baby out of bed, give breastfeeding and put him down again;
• The largest amount of prolactin (the hormonal substance responsible for milk production) begins to be produced at night. Lack of sleep, which occurs as a result of constant rocking of the baby at night, negatively affects the volume and quality of breast secretions;
• Physical contact between mother and newborn allows biological rhythms to connect. Therefore, when falling asleep together, mother and baby rest together: after latching on to the breast, the baby calmly dozes off, therefore, the parent also falls asleep.

Minuses

• A child of 4 months only seems small, but on the parent’s bed he can take up quite a lot of space. The father finds himself in such a situation as the “third wheel”, so he is forced to move to the sofa. Naturally, this has a negative impact on the intimate side of the spouses’ lives;
• If a 2-year-old child does not want to sleep in his own bed, then it is extremely difficult to accustom him to his own sleeping place. In addition, there is often a “split” in the family on this issue, when the father seeks to send the baby to a separate bed, and the mother, pitying her beloved little one, wants to delay the moment of “separation”;
• Children's hygiene is more serious, so any infection can increase its impact in a confined bed environment. In addition, if dad smokes, then the baby may even experience allergic reactions for nicotine;
• very rarely, but tragedies still happen when a tired mother crushes the baby who is sleeping next to her. Of course, such situations are rare, but you should not forget about them and you should not go to bed tired with your child either.

Sleeping together can help out in a situation where adults feel a lack of communication with the baby throughout the day. For example, when a mother goes to work literally 4 months after the birth of her baby and leaves during the day.

From the point of view of psychologists, children who slept in their parents' bed in infancy are more dependent on mom and dad. However, strong attachment is noted at an early age, then, if there is no upbringing overprotectiveness, relations are normalized.

The question of how to accustom a newborn to a crib almost never arises among parents, since if the child is put to sleep in his own bed from the first days of life, then problems with weaning simply will not arise.

If the child falls asleep with his parents or mother from the moment of birth, weaning will be delayed. That is why it is necessary to choose the age that is most favorable from a psychological and physiological point of view.

During this period, the number of night feedings is significantly reduced, the baby can sleep through the night without waking up. Also, at 6 months the child rolls over without the risk of suffocation and this process does not require special control.

However, this age period– just a recommended period, since it is necessary to look at the baby’s characteristics. Will It’s easier to teach your child to sleep in a crib if:

• the baby is able to sleep soundly at night (the number of night awakenings is 1 - 2 times);
• natural feeding has either already stopped, or the mother breastfeeds the baby three times a day;
• the baby does not cry or scream if he does not see mom and dad when he wakes up;
• he is able to remain alone for a quarter of an hour;
• he tends to push away from his parents during sleep;
• the baby was born full-term and does not suffer from chronic diseases;
• weaning from the parent's bed does not coincide with stressful moments (learning potty etiquette, the birth of a brother/sister, entering kindergarten, weaning).

Solving the problem of how to teach a child to sleep separately does not imply deprivation of physical contact with the mother, but demonstrating the benefits of independent sleep.

If the child does not want to sleep in the crib, perhaps the problem is in his separate sleeping place. In such a situation, you should purchase a special side bed.

This type of furniture is a regular cradle, but it is missing one side. Thus, the crib smoothly flows into the bed for parents, and vice versa.

With the help of special fastenings, the sleeping place for a child is installed on the same level as an adult bed. The baby seems to fall asleep separately, but is next to his mother.

The mother can feed her baby milk at any time, and she doesn’t even need to get out of bed. Having had enough, the child quickly closes his eyes, feeling the warmth of the mother’s body. Mom's affectionate touch will also help to calm you down.

When the baby matures a little (for example, at 2 or 3 months), a small side is created from a diaper in his crib for some separation from the mother. After another 4 weeks, the wooden board returns to its place, usually during this time the child has time to get used to the sleeping place.

After some time, the bed is gradually moved away from the parent's bed. This sequence allows you to avoid violent reactions on the part of the child and prepare the mother for psychologically to “parting” with your child.

How to accustom a child to his crib?

Of course, first of all, it is necessary to pay attention to the needs and desires of the baby. However, we should not forget about the interests of adults. Thus, the popular TV doctor Komarovsky is convinced that you should not sacrifice yourself to children.

This means that you need to act decisively and take into account the interests of each household member. After all, if mom or dad don’t get enough sleep or wake up exhausted, no one will be better off.

To transfer a child to a separate crib, you must act consistently, patiently and take into account childhood. Of course, the methods chosen will be different in 3 months or 3 years.

As already noted, the most favorable period for weaning a baby from the parental bed is considered to be the age of six months, plus or minus a few weeks.

In infancy, the baby tends to give up habits faster. What can you do in this case:

• Experienced mothers advise carefully monitoring children's reactions. In order for your baby to fall asleep faster, you need to put him in bed not according to a set schedule, but at the first signs of fatigue. Otherwise, the active child will begin to spin in the cradle and lean on his arms;
• You can influence the subconscious by creating a connection in the baby between a certain action and falling asleep. Already at 4 or 5 months, a baby is able to “track” the connection between bathing, a relaxing massage and going to bed. Also good ritual can become a lullaby before bed;
• A child's bed is a place intended exclusively for falling asleep. You need to feed and play with the baby in completely different corners;
• If the baby falls asleep immediately after feeding, you need to put a diaper under the baby. After a quarter of an hour (when the baby is deeply asleep), you need to move the baby to bed. In addition, a soft diaper will retain the mother's smell, which will promote sound sleep;
• How to teach a newborn to sleep separately? Usually there are no problems with such a small baby. But for a good night's sleep, you can create the conditions for your baby that he is accustomed to in the mother's womb. Experienced moms It is advised to swaddle a baby until 4 - 8 weeks, then this method no longer works.

If a child sleeps with his parents until about 9 months, he learns to constantly be in contact with them. Therefore, touch is extremely important to him.

To wean off as painlessly as possible one year old child from sleeping together with mom and dad, you need to try to compensate for the number of touches and tactile proximity throughout the day.

This will allow the baby to feel surrounded by tenderness and love. But psychologists do not recommend picking him up. It’s better to just stroke, kiss, demonstrating affection through touching.

Children over 2 years old

If parents failed to accustom their child to his own crib at 6 or 9 months, it cannot be said for sure that the good time has already been missed, and the baby will no longer get used to the new sleeping place.

• first piece of advice: if the child does not sleep in a crib, you should gradually accustom him to a new sleeping place. Use the tip mentioned above - use an additional children's bed. The baby will be nearby, but separately from the parents. Then the crib is moved away from the parent's bed;
• It will be easier to accustom your child to a crib if you invite him to buy the furniture himself. In stores there are models in the form of a car, a magic palace, an airplane, a ship;
• For the purchased bed you need to buy accompanying accessories: a blanket, a sheet, a soft pillow, new pajamas. If your baby is wary of the darkness in the children's room, purchase a night light;
• His peers will help teach your baby to sleep; they already have their own separate sleeping area. Go visit so your child can see how other children treat their own crib with respect and pride;
• The baby will be more likely to get used to his crib if he sleeps in it during the day. When laying down, you need to close the curtains, create a pleasant psychological atmosphere, for example, read a fairy tale or give your baby a massage. To make sleep come sooner, be sure to take a walk, let the child run and get a little tired;
• When the baby gets used to it, you can switch to sleeping in a crib at night. Turn on the night lamp to eliminate various fears, read fairy tales. During the day you need to work with your child so that by dinner he already feels pleasantly tired. However, make sure that children do not become overtired.

It may sound a little strange, but, first of all, the mother should want to sleep separately. During their time together in the same bed, a woman could get used to this situation, and now on a subconscious level she does not want to part with her child.

So, we found out that mother’s anxiety and psychological resistance are transmitted to children, as a result of which the child does not want to sleep in a separate crib or simply cannot sleep.

In order not to spoil the process of accustoming to a separate sleeping place, you need to avoid other common mistakes. For example, it is forbidden:

• intimidate children;
• refuse to turn on the night light;
• act inconsistently with your spouse. It is important to first agree with your husband on common requirements for the child;
• scream, use punishment if the child refuses to sleep in the crib;
• transfer a two- or three-year-old baby from the parent’s bed to the baby’s cradle, especially if it is in another room (this age period is the time when fears appear);
• teasing, calling names, laughing at children’s fears or reluctance to sleep separately;
• discuss the current situation with other people, even close ones, in the presence of the child;
• leaving the baby crying in bed for a long time when he wakes up and does not see his mother (also, do not immediately run to another room at the first squeak);
• Allow the baby to stay in the parent's bed. A accustomed child can try, using various tricks, to sleep with mom and dad, manipulating their feelings (with the exception of if the baby is sick).

If a new addition to the family is expected soon, it is necessary to move the older child into a separate bed even before the birth of the youngest family member.

Otherwise, the first-born will feel that the change of sleeping place is connected with the birth of a brother/sister, which may result in protest reactions and constant bouts of jealousy.

As a conclusion

If the question of how to teach a child to sleep separately from his parents seems too difficult to you, you can seek qualified advice from a pediatrician or psychologist.

• it will be easier for the child to fall asleep alone if crib training takes place in the optimal age period - from six to eight months;
• The younger the toddler, the easier it is for him to adapt to the conditions of falling asleep. Newborn babies usually (but not always) sleep peacefully without their mother;
• The optimal way of training is considered to be an additional bed, which allows you to be close to the child and at the same time maintain some distance;
• You should not delay moving to your own children's bed until 2 - 3 years old. At such an “adult” age, the process of addiction will be seriously delayed and become more painful;
• You cannot punish or scold the child, otherwise he will perceive separate falling asleep as a disciplinary measure, which is not very good for parent-child relationships;
• It is important to bring the issue of children’s sleep to a common denominator by discussing all the rules with other household members. The process of accustoming to the crib may be delayed if the grandmother puts the baby under her side.

As you know, every change in a child’s life is not easy. However, if you follow everything important rules and conditions, then very soon the baby will enjoy sleep in his own bed, and you will enjoy peace and tranquility, as well as a full-fledged marital relationship.