How can a child independently help a drinking mother? What do psychologists advise you to do if your mother drinks?

14.12.2017 Narcologist Raisa Fedorovna Kovalchuk 0

Constant consumption of alcohol leads to personality degradation; an alcoholic mother bears full responsibility for the ruined fate of her child. Narcologists and psychologists have developed a special technique for such children.

First of all, the child must realize that such behavior of the mother is not his fault. Mom started drinking of her own free will. And she can also quit only at will. You cannot force someone to undergo treatment, but you can try to persuade them. For a detailed conversation you need preparation:

• Gather information about treatment;
• Find out the address or phone number of a narcologist;
• Agree with one of your relatives for help.

People who drink do not understand how difficult their behavior is for others. To prove this, you can take photos or videos. Just show these materials to the mother not in the morning, when she is tormented by a hangover. Even with a severe form of alcoholism, there are periods of enlightenment - this best time for demonstration.

Do not try to wean your mother from drinking on your own by taking away wine or moonshine. This can cause attacks of unmotivated aggression, which threatens physical harm.

If the mother is hysterical during sober periods, then vodka will aggravate this character trait. Try to stay out of her sight until she sobers up. Under the influence of alcohol, such people are unable to think adequately.

You can contact the Children in Need hotline, where a professional psychologist will advise you what to do if your mother drinks.

How can you help?

Children of alcoholics are forced to grow up quickly. Unfortunately, you will have to face many problems that are far from childish early on:

• poisoning;
• delirium;
• aggression without a reason.

To make it easier to get out of binge drinking, you can:

1. Make you drink a lot. Juice, tea, water will help mom cope with dehydration. You shouldn’t let yourself get hungover; beer is especially dangerous. This will lead to a new stage of alcoholic fun;
2. Help take a bath. This will somewhat ease the general poisoning and help with tremors. Remember, due to the effect of ethanol on the vagus nerve, mom may become very unsteady when walking. So before and after water procedures help her lie down.
3. Give sorbents. Activated carbon, Enterosgel, weak soda solution will help remove toxic substances from the body.
4. Persuade him to eat. A light soup, salad or porridge with water will enrich the body with vitamins and give strength. Most likely mom will resist, but you insist.
5. Provide peace. Put mom to bed. Remember, any new drunk during this period can provoke a new binge. Therefore, open the door only to familiar, trusted people. Put all phones on silent mode. Stay home until mom wakes up.
6. Don't give mom any medicine, free her from any physical work, hide or remove all alcohol from the house.

Of course, a drinking mother is a grief in any family. You depend too much on her behavior, you are ready to express a lot. But put off the conversation until your mother sleeps off.

At this time you cannot:

• Blame;
• Scream;
• Force treatment;
• Rebel;
• Hate.

An alcoholic is not a weak-willed person. Your mother is seriously ill and only loving family. An aggressive approach will not help save her.

How and when to talk to your mother?

The alcoholic drinks every day. If mom came home drunk on one day off a week, this is not a reason to worry. But you can already talk to her about what worries you. A conversation about drinking should only happen if the mother understands its importance and can make her own decisions. Conversations will be useless if:

• The mother is still intoxicated;
• She is vomiting and stabbing;
• She is hallucinating or having a panic attack;
• She behaves defiantly aggressively.

At such moments, you need to call a medical team. The conversation will only take place if your mother understands how important it is for you to talk about it. At the same time, she may be in a state of hangover.

But if you see that your mother understands that it’s time to quit, she experiences strong feeling guilt and remorse for inadequate parental care - then it’s time to act. On family council you need to call everyone - dad, grandmother, grandfather, brothers or sisters. But if you live with your mother alone, you have a great responsibility - to make sure that conversations get down to business.

Psychologists have developed a special algorithm for such conversations:

1. Don't blame your mom for her behavior. An unpleasant picture of her drunken antics will add to the feeling of inconvenience or guilt. This will most likely push the mother to withdraw into herself;
2. Don't feel sorry for mom. Love and care is what she should feel. By causing pity, you give a reason for manipulation.
3. Let mom talk. But don’t argue, don’t try to prove the obvious - professionals will do it. Your task is to bring your mother to the conclusion that if she continues to drink, it will lead to her death.
4. As soon as the mother becomes convinced that she needs competent medical care, take her by the hand and lead her to a narcologist.

What else can you do?

There are two main components in the treatment of alcoholism - medications and psychology. It is very easy to relieve physical dependence with drugs. It is much more difficult to replace the feeling of alcoholic euphoria with the pleasure of life. A drunkard is not able to fight alcoholism on his own. To hide, be embarrassed or close yourself off from such a person means pushing him to drink more and more.

Simply depriving him of alcohol will not help in treatment. Alcoholics are capable of a lot for the sake of the next dose. A drunk parent is capable of selling even his own children for a bottle. If a drunk or recently sober mother asks or forces you to steal, lie, engage in prostitution, find drinks for her, etc., be sure to seek help. Then she may greatly regret this behavior, but your life will be ruined. And you won’t help your mother with this. There is no need to be embarrassed or ashamed of your position. Your mother's behavior is not your fault.

The impact of mother's alcoholism on the child's life

In every tenth family, the mother drinks almost every day. One way or another, the mother’s alcoholism affects the entire life of the children. It is most difficult for those whose mother drank during pregnancy. Such a baby has little chance of being born without abnormalities.

But, even if a miracle happened, most likely health pathologies will appear in a year or two. Children with congenital alcohol syndrome study worse, have difficulty adapting in society and are more likely to become alcoholics.
FAS - fetal alcohol syndrome

If a woman managed to recover from alcoholism before becoming pregnant, her children still remain at risk. The fact is that ethyl alcohol changes the chain of inherited genes and leads to many negative results. A genetic predisposition to heavy drinking can be passed down through several generations.

Experts distinguish three components of the influence of maternal alcoholism on the child:

• Physiological. In addition to congenital abnormalities, a drinking mother indirectly affects the development of her children. The consequences of not taking timely measures, for any developmental deviations, can be disastrous for both the baby and the teenager. Blatant neglect of parental responsibilities leads to the fact that children of alcoholics do not receive sufficient physical or mental development;
• Psychological. Children in such families grow up early. Often even a one-year-old baby understands that he needs to hide from his drunk mother. The adaptive skills of children from such families do not correspond to their age.
  Children form an early response to the motive of aggression. They are practically incapable of positive emotions. The skill of collective support becomes impossible for them (often completely absent);
• Social. The overwhelming majority of children of alcoholics form their families with drinking people. This is a consequence of codependent behavior of a child-adult. Such kids simply do not know any other social skill. These children form the basis of antisocial elements - drug addicts, alcoholics, criminals. The pattern of deviant behavior is assigned to them even in kindergarten.

Certainly the best way out for the child it will be to take him away from his drinking mother. But the peculiarity of the child’s psyche is that no matter how bad the mother is, the child cannot blame her for it. Such children are very attached to their parents.

And if in early childhood the mood swings of a drinking mother cause amazement, then in adolescence a clear belief is established that the parent’s alcoholism is the child’s fault.

What you need to know about termination of parental rights?

Depriving a man of parental rights is quite simple. For women, this is possible if the mother has been drinking systematically for several years. However, the ratio of such cases against fathers or mothers is almost equal. Most often, children are taken away from both parents. The grounds are stated in Art. 69 Family Code RF:

1. Systematic neglect of one's responsibilities. To do this, it is enough to leave the child alone twice. Russian law considers this attitude to be leaving one in danger;
2. Abuse of parental authority. Inducing a child to become addicted to drugs or alcohol, to commit crimes, or to commit sexual acts, threatens not only deprivation, but also criminal prosecution;
3. Alcoholism, drug addiction. One failure during the period of official treatment is enough and the children may not be returned;
4. Mistreatment. Physical or moral humiliation, which can lead to inhibition of development. This behavior can be for various reasons, but alcoholism will become an aggravating circumstance;
5. Any crime against life or health. Such acts include not only physical violence, but also suicide attempts.

To deprive or limit the parental rights of an alcoholic mother, you need a document confirming her diagnosis - a certificate stating that she is registered with a narcologist. Any other evidence will be useless. Most often, such women are deprived of their rights on other grounds.

Alcoholism brings more than just physical pain. It destroys families and makes the life of the patient and his loved ones simply unbearable. Not everyone can understand in time that he is an alcohol addict. Many continue to abuse, even despite the prayers and tears of those closest to them, including children who suffer greatly.

What to do if mom drinks? This is a question many children ask. But they already have enough problems: puberty, studying, relationships with the opposite sex. All these and many other factors leave a huge imprint on the psychological health of children. So what to do in this situation? Calmly watch day after day how the mother, the closest and most dear person? In no case!

Rule one

There is no need to isolate yourself. There is no need to accumulate anger in your soul for the rest of your life. the world. We need to try to understand mom that she feels bad, that she is sick. She can't get out without help. She doesn’t want to change anything, everything suits her. In such an existence she sees meaning. Or maybe there is no point in living anymore? What to do in this case? First, find out the reason why mom started drinking. Perhaps something happened recently in her life that caused her to start abusing alcohol. We need to try to eliminate this reason. Although this is difficult and not very effective.

Rule two

In order to help your mother cope with alcohol addiction, you need to try to isolate her from people who negatively influence her. Do not let them into the apartment under any pretext, find her something to do, burden her with household chores, throw out alcoholic drinks. This method, like the previous one, is not suitable for everyone. It all depends on the character of the alcoholic. If mom is hot-tempered, she may get angry from such drastic measures. She may also start going to other places where she will get drunk and come home drunk.

Rule three

You need to talk to your mother as often as possible, carefully hinting that she is an alcohol addict, that this disease is destroying her life and the lives of her loved ones. It is necessary to influence her correctly, begging her to undergo a course of treatment in rehabilitation center. The main thing is for mom to understand that she is in the grip of alcohol addiction and needs treatment. IN otherwise no amount of rehabilitation can help her. The alcoholic himself must want to overcome the disease.

Children living in constant stress are fearful and emotional. They get tired quickly and are often depressed. It is difficult for them to build relationships with classmates, to realize their needs and interests, because when the mother drinks, they have to fulfill their duties and the responsibilities of an adult.

The impact of maternal drinking on children

A woman who constantly drinks alcoholic beverages harms even her unborn baby. Alcohol breakdown products negatively affect the physical aspect of fetal development. They cause spasms of the blood vessels of the placenta and umbilical cord, which leads to disruption of the blood supply to the placenta and hypoxia. Lack of oxygen can cause babies to be born with problems:

• decreased muscle tone;
• hypoplasia;
• umbilical hernia;
• heart and aortic defects;
• cleft palate;
• joint dysplasia.

Some developmental pathologies internal organs are diagnosed after a while. But mother’s alcoholism affects not only the physical health and immunity of the baby. The atmosphere in the family matters in the formation of personality.

When a mother drinks, she does not pay attention to the children and does not monitor their nutrition. People suffering from alcoholism often have unsanitary conditions in their homes. For these reasons, children feel shame because their mother drinks.

The indifference of a drunkard mother and father, scandals and conflicts, domestic violence - the described situation affects the psychological side of children's development. They don’t understand how to behave so as not to anger their mother. This condition causes disorientation, which increases the risk of psychological trauma.

It is even more difficult for children in families where there is codependency (when the life of the household revolves around one person - an alcoholic). This situation is due to the fact that no one wants to take the problem outside the home. Everyone is trying to hide the fact that mom drinks. Social life It’s difficult for children in this situation. Because of codependency, schoolchildren have to go through emotional stress every day in order to hide family problems

to appear “like everyone else.”

Preschoolers, elementary school students, and teenagers are not able to cope with their mother’s illness without outside help. A woman must personally make the decision to stop drinking. Daily conversations about the dangers of alcohol will only anger a person who constantly drinks.

But the mother can be helped to alleviate her condition after a long binge. Alcohol disrupts the functioning of all organs, removes a lot of fluid from the body, useful substances. To improve your mother’s well-being, you need to take the following actions:

1. Provide plenty of fluids. Prepare water and brew strong tea.
2. Remove toxins. To do this, you should give Activated carbon (costs from 8 rubles) at the rate of 1 tablet per 10 kg of weight.
3. Ask mom to take a shower.
4. Feed her broth.
5. Try to create conditions for prolonged sleep.

The child can complete these steps independently. But he is not obliged to do this. Even older children are not responsible for the behavior and health status of their parents.

To prevent your mother from drinking, you can turn to relatives (older brothers and sisters, father, grandmother, grandfather) for help. If this is not possible, you need to tell the teacher that your mother drinks, to the class teacher or the director. If you are unable to contact the school, you can report your parents’ alcohol addiction to law enforcement agencies or call the helpline.

Psychological manipulation

Children can try to have a heart-to-heart talk with their mother, listen to her and convince her to undergo treatment. To solve this problem, teenagers need to change their attitude towards their mother, behavior tactics and choose the right moment to start a conversation.

Intimate talk

You should not start a conversation with your mother when she is drinking. All methods of manipulation should be used only if the woman is not under the influence of alcohol.

The concept of “a universal rule that helps a person stop drinking after one conversation” does not exist. But there are recommendations from psychologists who can help you understand the causes of the disease and obtain consent for treatment so that your mother doesn’t drink anymore.

How to have a conversation

When the right moment is chosen, you can try to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mother. You can't start a conversation with accusations. It is better to let the woman speak out and explain what is happening to her. During a conversation, psychologists recommend using psychological techniques:

1. Speak in a calm tone.
2. Don't interrupt.
3. Show understanding, not pity.
4. Listen attentively.
5. Don't remember past grievances.
6. Do not respond to promises to start treatment tomorrow or immediately after drinking a bottle.

If the mother does not realize how bad her life is, she should explain and show what the drinking has led to. Talk about what awaits her in the future: death from alcoholism or treatment. During the conversation, emphasize that her life depends only on her decision.

Methods for adult children

When a daughter or son grows up, the situation rarely changes. Mom continues to drink, complicating the lives of her now adult children. Some turn away from drinking parents, others try to help.

Free treatment is offered by social centers and drug treatment clinics. The only negative is mandatory registration. In this case, treatment is possible only after obtaining the voluntary consent of the patient. Relatives of the patient can send an alcoholic to compulsory therapy in exceptional cases:

• the person poses a threat to others;
• the patient committed murder;
• the patient attempted suicide.

IN medical institution an alcoholic will receive not only psychological assistance. The following procedures will be carried out under the supervision of specialists:

1. Detoxification.
2. Relieving withdrawal symptoms.
3. Anti-alcohol therapy.

Sessions of hypnotic and psychological influence and other coding methods are possible for a fee. The patient will not be registered.

Consultation with a psychologist, narcologist and other specialists can be obtained by telephone or via the Internet for free. They will listen, provide legal assistance and suggest which method of treatment will be more effective in the current situation.

Test: Check the compatibility of your medicine with alcohol

Enter the name of the drug in the search bar and find out how compatible it is with alcohol

A family in which there is a person with an alcohol addiction has a very difficult time - physically, socially, emotionally and mentally. Drinking man ceases to be a “breadwinner”, becomes unable to bear responsibility for himself and his family. Drinking child among other things, he can make his parents suffer helplessly, not knowing how or how to help. But the worst thing is when there is a drinking mother in the family - it not only causes anxiety, worries and problems of various kinds. A woman with a harmful addiction to alcohol becomes a threat to the health and even the life of her child.

Harm expected and already caused

If a mother drinks, her child suffers in any case, even if she does not cause him physical harm. The most vulnerable in this regard are young children, who often do not understand what is happening to their mother, why she smells bad, and kisses and hugs are replaced by screaming and spanking. Every day kids watch the degradation of the closest and most beloved person, the one who should be an example and protection for them. Naturally, this cannot but affect their psyche.

However, unborn children are even more vulnerable to the problems of a drinking mother. A woman who drank alcoholic beverages during pregnancy can give birth to an immunocompromised baby suffering from:

• congenital physical pathologies;
• exposure to various diseases;
• mental disorders;
• developmental deviations.

Before even being born, little man already suffers from the fact that my mother drinks. This is how a ruined childhood, and perhaps a whole life, begins.
Obviously, young children cannot make any effort to get their mother to stop drinking. But the kids gradually grow up and become teenagers, who, due to their immaturity, are still not able to do anything to really help their mother, but can already have some influence on her. What can be expected from teenagers correct behavior in dealing with an alcoholic, so it falls on their shoulders to take care of the parent in a state of hangover and make the first attempts to persuade her to stop drinking and begin treatment.

Our regular reader shared an effective method that saved her husband from ALCOHOLISM. It seemed that nothing would help, there were several codings, treatment at a dispensary, nothing helped. Helped effective method, which was recommended by Elena Malysheva. EFFECTIVE METHOD

Forced to grow up early

• do not give in to requests to bring a drink;
• don't take full responsibility.

Vulnerable from an emotional point of view, children from a family where the mother drinks every day often become hostage to the manipulative art of the drunkard. An alcoholic mother easily manages to instill in them a feeling of guilt for her condition, frighten them with her own death if she does not receive alcohol to “continue the banquet,” and accuse them of insensitivity. It is extremely important that children do not succumb to this blackmail, since each new drink makes the existing problem even more serious.

Take a quick test and receive a free brochure “Binge Alcoholism and How to Cope with It.”

Did you have any relatives in your family who went on long-term “binges”?

Do you get a “hangover” the day after drinking a large dose of alcohol?

Does it become “easier” for you if you “hangover” (drink) the morning after a stormy feast?

What is your normal blood pressure?

Do you have an “acute” desire to “drink” after taking a small dose of alcohol?

Do you feel more confident and relaxed after drinking alcohol?

As for responsibility, every child considers it natural to take care of his mother, wants to do everything so that she feels better and at least temporarily becomes normal. Day after day, a son or daughter may try to help his mother, but the result most often becomes codependency - a way of life in which there is no time or desire for anything else. Such comfortable conditions a woman will never be able or want to force herself to stop drinking.

How can you really help?

Although teenagers are quite capable of taking full responsibility for drinking mother(and often they have to do this), real help from them can only consist in easing the hangover for the drunkard and themselves. Here are some simple recommendations:

• as a result of alcohol abuse, the body loses water in large quantities, which needs to be replenished, so you need to give an alcoholic in a hangover a lot to drink (water, berry or fruit juices, herbal teas, cucumber or cabbage brine);
• in order to restore health as quickly as possible after a binge, it is worth sending the drinking mother into a shower or bath for at least half an hour (a contrast shower is desirable - several changes of cold and hot water);
• to remove alcohol breakdown products from a hangover body, you can give the drunkard to drink activated charcoal (1 tablet for every 10 kg of weight);
• It is imperative that the alcoholic mother not only drink heavily, but also eat well, preferably fatty foods;
• In order to finally get the mother out of her drinking bout, she needs to be provided with peace for long, sound sleep.

But this is not necessary

For a child whose mother drinks, it is important to know not only what needs to be done to support her, but also what is not recommended to do in order to avoid problems.

1. You should not start a conversation with a mother who is intoxicated or has a severe hangover about how she needs to stop drinking. Every child wants their mother to return to normal life, but alcoholics under the influence of alcohol are deaf to requests, exhortations, persuasion and pressure for pity. And demands that she not drink, and attempts to force her to promise this, will force the woman to become completely aggressive.
2. Even if an alcoholic mother made a promise to change her lifestyle, you should not believe it. A drunkard who wants to drink will promise anything to get the next dose, but the very next day she will do the same thing as always. Therefore, under no circumstances should you give your mother alcohol to “get drunk” - this is a vicious circle from which there is no way out.
3. Alcoholics coming out of a state of abstinence must be distracted from the thought of alcohol, but this should not be physical activity, since the body, weakened by libations, can suddenly fail. In addition, it is dangerous both for the drinking woman and for her child.

The main advice for children of alcoholics who are unable to stop drinking is to be patient. A mother who is addicted to alcohol causes emotional and physical harm, but we must remember that she is sick and needs help. You shouldn’t get angry or offended, you shouldn’t lose yourself in problems, meekly accepting the state of things. If the child is not confident that he can cope with his mother on his own, it is better to call relatives for help, and in case of a severe hangover, call a doctor.

Adult help

Adult children who have both emotional stability and the social ability to force an alcoholic to stop drinking can provide maximum assistance to their drinking mothers. If grown-up sons and daughters live separately, they are able to distance themselves from the grievances accumulated in childhood and disappointment in their mother, supporting her on a different, adult level. At the same time, they should not forget about the simplest manifestations of care, including help with a hangover.

The most important thing an adult child can do for his drinking mother is to persuade her to change her lifestyle and begin treatment for alcohol addiction. This must be done carefully and patiently, every day, if the mother is in a more or less sane state, talking to her, but at the same time quite firmly. Important:

• provide reasonable arguments supporting the merits of a sober lifestyle;
• not to be categorical and emotional, maintaining emotional balance;
• restrain yourself without breaking into shouting, rudeness, accusations and swearing;
• do not give in to pity for the alcoholic, do not coo with her and do not believe her promises to stop drinking;
• Do not take the drunkard’s complaints personally - such people almost always blame their loved ones for their illness.

If the mother agrees with the children’s arguments, half the job is done - all that remains is to take her to specialists at a drug treatment clinic or clinic, and after treatment, check whether a breakdown follows. It’s another matter if a woman who drinks does not listen to her convictions and does not plan to quit drinking. In this case, you have to either give up and leave her with her own problems, or resort to a common trick - adding and sprinkling special ingredients into food and drink. medications. Such drugs form an aversion to alcoholic beverages and eliminate cravings for alcohol.

Obviously

Only teenagers or adult children can provide real help to an alcoholic mother. However, their efforts in best case scenario may be aimed at easing her fight against a hangover, removing all alcoholic beverages from the house and endless persuasion to pull herself together and begin to heal. This does not always work and with varying degrees of effectiveness, which is why children of alcoholics develop an ambiguous idea of ​​drunkenness. It is probably for this reason that all such children, with a very small percentage of exceptions, either adhere to a teetotal lifestyle for the rest of their lives, or follow in the footsteps of their drinking mothers. A woman can fully recover from alcoholism only when she wants it herself.

Alcoholism is a serious and dangerous disease, which touched many people. It destroys not only health, leading to death and complete disability, but also destroys families and the lives of people around the alcoholic. Not everyone is able to understand in time that alcoholism is taking place. Basically, many continue to drink, no matter what, even the tears and requests of those closest to them. But children suffer, who already in adolescence have something to think and worry about. Puberty, studies, relationships and emotional dramas, all these factors already leave an imprint on the psychological state of a teenage child. But what to do if your mother drinks, where to turn, who to consult and how to cope with the pressure, burden and cruelty of the world around you?

When mom drinks, you hate the whole world around you, you want her to either stop or not come into view at all. Feelings are always contradictory: love and hatred, care and disgust. But what to do if a constantly drunk mother does not want to change anything, may engage in assault, leads strangers into the house and screams, accusing you of something? It’s good when there is a father, grandmother, aunt or some other relatives to whom you can go, where you can hide and continue life. And if there is no one, and there is nowhere to run, despite your young age, you should take action. Since this is ruining both you and your mother, you need to gather your will into a fist, be “for the eldest” in the family, and under no circumstances give up or slide.

What can be done for a mother who drinks? Of course, a person does not get drunk because of a good life. Apparently, something happened if mom became an alcoholic. Perhaps there has been grief in the family from which she cannot recover. Maybe an illness, an incurable diagnosis and other factors. The main thing is to find out the reason. Maybe if she is eliminated, mom will become the same again. If mom sometimes comes to her senses, try to talk and find out what the reason is. If you can help with words, you won't forgive yourself for not trying. If words and conversations lead nowhere, you need to take more drastic measures.

Very a large number of families break up or suffer from the problem of parental alcoholism. They can be solved in many ways. If long negotiations, speeches and promises turned out to be empty words, the mother needs to be treated. Alcoholism is a treatable disease, try it, maybe this is your solution. A teenager usually has no time to deal with the problems of his parents, but if there is no way out, you can try. Today there are many narcologists and psychologists who can solve the problem. They cost money, but in 80% of cases, their help is decisive. You can put your mother in a clinic for alcoholics. There are similar establishments in almost every city. Forced treatment is prohibited by law. But if the mother poses a threat to you or herself, she must be placed in a hospital. However, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, and who you turn to, until the person is 100% sure that he wants to quit and quit drinking, you will not be able to help him in any way, neither with persuasion, nor stories about how you suffer, nor threats. Moreover, in adolescence, in addition to family problems, there are a lot of personal problems.

To help the mother, you can try to protect her from negative influence and from drinking. That is, do not let people who make your mother drunk into the apartment, burden her with household chores, try in every possible way to get rid of strong alcoholic drinks in the house, throw it away, hide it and pour it out. You need to make sure that she doesn’t buy alcohol, that she doesn’t go away alone for a long time and doesn’t see people reminding her about drinking. This is a difficult process, long and painful. You will have to spend a lot of time trying to rid your mother of such a bad habit as alcoholism. It is incredibly difficult for a teenager to do all this work. Still, it’s worth a try, since your mother is alone, and she has no more support, besides you, and never will.

But no matter how morally correct it is to act, if a person refuses to stop drinking, there is absolutely nothing you can do. Moreover, you are also a child yourself, and you are dealing with such completely non-childish problems. All psychologists and doctors unanimously repeat that treatment cannot help if it is done forcibly. Therefore, if you fail to save your mother, save yourself. Rough, cruel? Perhaps, but this is a fact of life. Having seen enough of all the horrors family life, if the mother drinks, it is very difficult to create your own family. Psychological condition the teenager remains uninvolved in the best possible way after several years of constant shocks and worries. Therefore, the main thing remains to preserve your own psyche and a normal attitude towards marriage and family!

Get busy with your life, understand that the main thing is not to get lost, not to go into yourself and your problems. If necessary, consult a psychologist, find someone who can listen and support. There are good doctors and qualified specialists at educational institutions who can restore, at least a little, your peace of mind. You shouldn’t keep problems to yourself, because accumulating negativity and pain in your soul is not a solution, but self-flagellation. You didn't deserve it. If you have the opportunity to contact a private psychologist, take advantage of it. Read literature, go in for sports to get rid of negative impressions and emotions, throw away the burden and relax, at least for a while.

Are you studying, but your head is filled only with thoughts about your mother’s alcoholism? Perhaps a great solution would be to make your life better than your parents' with the help of higher education and a good, promising work. Having an education and understanding your business, you can provide for yourself, buy or rent a home, leave and live away from problems with your mother, who refuses to solve them outright. Think about what you can achieve if you plunge into a world where your life is in full swing, there is interesting activity, friends and happiness, not alcohol and hopelessness. Many experts argue that the only way out for a teenager with a drinking mother is to build his own life, improve its conditions and fight for the best, with desire and diligence. If you are powerless, have done everything possible, and the result is mother’s alcoholism, constant quarrels and scandals, do not be tormented, do not sacrifice your life. Try to find a job and leave your family, arrange your own own life, without stepping on the same rake as your mother. Now you know what can lead to excessive use of alcohol and other drugs.

Remember, nothing is impossible. And you have a way out. There are so many forums and online psychologists you can find on the Internet, ask for advice and find a fellow sufferer. It is possible to solve problems and seek support without spending exorbitant amounts of money, without leaving home. Many teenagers found the best way out of this situation by writing a letter to the appropriate sites. We received advice, listened to outside opinions, and looked at similar situations. You can contact the operator by calling the helpline. Express your feelings, consult with psychologists working on the line. Such organizations do not require clarification of either last name or address if you do not need special assistance, and if you do not consider it necessary to provide personal information.

Teenagers take radical measures in cases where nothing can be done, the mother drinks heavily, can insult and hit, systematically humiliates and beats. Some go to court and the police. The fact is that law enforcement agencies often turn a blind eye to everyday problems and cannot take the mother away for more than a few days. In extreme cases, if the child has been beaten, neighbors and relatives confirm the mother’s inadequate condition, the police can take the mother away before the trial. But the decision of a higher authority, the judge, already determines your future fate. Having suffered, the children file a lawsuit to deprive their mother of parental rights. This way they can continue to live on their own and are not obliged to look after their mother or care for her. This is very cruel, but it is also an option in cases of abuse or incurable alcoholism of the mother.

The main thing is to feel the ground under your feet, to understand that life urgently needs to be organized and improved, to make it bright and unencumbered by either alcohol or other drugs that intoxicate the mind.