Losing a loved one is always very difficult. Here you cannot do without tears, an attack of anger, hysterics, depression, self-isolation and wild pain that will tear you apart from the inside. It is very difficult not to break down at this moment and quickly return to normal life. But time heals, and the support of friends and relatives will help. The topic is not pleasant, but undoubtedly important. We hope our article will help inconsolable women cope with grief and start living again without burying themselves in the sadness of loss.
WHAT DOES A WOMAN FEEL AFTER THE DEATH OF HUSBAND
After the death of her beloved husband, the first thing a woman begins to experience is... In my head bad thoughts begin to swirl that it was all her fault, that she could have helped with something, but did nothing. That if she had acted differently, she could have changed the outcome of events. What happens, cannot be avoided. Not this time, then next time. There is nothing to blame yourself for (unless, of course, you really had a hand in it). The main thing is not to get stuck in guilt.
When a husband dies most women behave aggressively to everyone, he can be rude and send it inadvertently. It’s a shame, but you need to understand and not throw out anger in response. It’s just a woman who thinks that everyone is fine now, but no one can understand her. Often such aggression causes problems with loved ones; communication will have to be re-established. If aggression has gone beyond what is reasonable, there is a reason to seek professional help.
In addition to the fact that a woman blames herself and is angry with everyone, she is also angry with herself. Often these feelings border on madness and become a catalyst for suicide, especially under the influence of alcohol. It is important to strangle this feeling before it arises, otherwise a second death cannot be avoided. After all, it’s as easy as shelling pears not to resign yourself and move on with your life, but to rid yourself of all your problems at once. Thoughts of suicide last from 9 to 15 days.
Feelings of shock and numbness is present even to a greater extent than all the others. The woman does not believe in what is happening, refuses to perceive the situation and thinks that it is simple. There are two behaviors in this case: either the woman does not perceive or do anything at all, or she develops vigorous activity, just so as not to sit and think about what happened.
Feel free to cry and express your feelings. Even if everyone says that you need to be strong, you don’t have to hold back your tears. Tears help to emotionally release and even calm down. This is why women live longer than men, because at any moment they can cry, throwing out all the negativity from themselves.
We'll have to come to terms with it. Unfortunately, people are not eternal and death is a natural process, the outcome of all living things. Some die early, some die old age. We are unable to change the outcome of events and enter into an agreement with death to prolong life. It would be very simple. By not accepting death, people aggravate their suffering without realizing it. No matter how much you cry, no matter how much you call on the Gods and swear allegiance to the Devils, it will not work. We'll have to learn to live without him. The woman will have to tell herself that she is strong and will cope with her grief.
Instead of crying into your pillow every day and drowning your grief in alcohol, find new life guidelines. You shouldn't be an indifferent amoeba. Life ended for your husband, not for you. And women with children should not become limp at all; they need to pull themselves together, no matter how difficult it may be. We agree, it’s easy to talk about this, but in reality everything is much more difficult, painful and sadder than you could dream of in your worst nightmare. But you need to live on, not focusing on the past and not imagining beautiful pictures, as if out of the blue he would rise from the dead and walk through the door. There should be memories, but they should not disappoint and cause another bout of tears, but warm the soul and make you smile. Learn to enjoy the singing of birds, simple things, people’s smiles, the sun again. Life will definitely get better, you just need to wait.
To distract yourself from the thought of the death of your beloved husband, do useful things. One widow, in order to cope with the loss of her husband, decided to help other women who had lost loved ones. This helped her cope with the death of her husband, find new acquaintances and live with them. You can pour out your grief into creativity: make toys, draw pictures, sculpt figurines, embroider. Find an activity that can both express the pain of your loss and calm you down at the same time.
Come out of reclusion and communicate with people. Loneliness is beneficial, but in moderation. The transition to a new life may take several years and this is normal. After the death of their husband, many people get married again and find long-awaited happiness and peace of mind. And don't beat yourself up about it. Your husband would be happy to see you happy and laughing again.
Women tend to live longer than their male peers. That's why so many people become widows. Most women, when their husbands leave, feel that this is especially true for wives who were very psychologically dependent on their loved one who had passed on to another world. How to cope with the death of your husband?
First of all, you need to give free rein to your emotions, and there is no norm here, every woman should cry and she needs to do this as much as she wants. One should not look for justice in determining the number of years allotted to this or that person - everything is God’s will. Often good people die young, while scoundrels live to a ripe old age. Perhaps God is simply giving bad people more time so they can improve their lives.
It is important not to close, on the contrary, call good friends and tell them that you need more attention during the first time after your husband's death. Often close people are afraid of the sight of death and begin to behave inappropriately, become embarrassed and create awkward situations. This needs to be forgiven and understood by friends, because the question “How to survive the death of your husband?” you also started asking yourself recently. Your task, after the first stage of pain has passed, is to try to find new friends. Of course, not everyone understands how to cope with the death of a loved one, especially young friends, but try to find new topics that could occupy your head and be an alternative to conversations and memories about your husband.
Your task is also to take care of another person who has passed into the world. After death, only prayer and remembrance in everything in the church can help him. A person himself cannot correct anything in the eyes of God if he has already died. But you, alive, can. If your husband has sinned a lot and was guilty before you, you should pray especially earnestly for him. In this case, only your righteous life can save him, so you need to change your life in the direction of greater spirituality so that it “counts” for both you and him.
A new day will appear on the calendar - the Day of Death, but his Birthday, Valentine's Day and the wedding date will no longer be holidays, but days of sadness. You need to prepare for them in advance by deciding what you will do on each of these days so as not to be taken by surprise.
How to cope with the death of your husband without harming your health? You need to try to change your lifestyle, you need to be especially careful with food, because many are prone to poor eating behavior after a difficult event. There are two extremes here: stop eating altogether, and eat without control. Focus on nutrition, this will allow you to get away a little from thoughts about the death of your loved one.
It is also important to rearrange your day, that is, write new routine day and try to follow it. Your day should be filled with things to do, perhaps it’s worth learning new forms of needlework. If you do something with your own hands, your mood will improve. It is easier to cope with the death of a loved one if you are very busy. Of course, life will not be the same as it was before, you will feel loneliness, but you definitely need to look for as much communication as possible, even though you want to lock yourself in your apartment and cry.
If you have children, be sure to seek help from them. They will understand that the mother is hurt and lonely. Ask them to see you more often, and if you already have grandchildren, you can offer more help with their care. Take them with you more often on weekends and holidays; small children distract you from gloomy thoughts and help you focus on pressing problems, and not the death of your loved one.
How to cope with the death of your husband? Accept what happened and try to keep yourself busy, seek the company of others. Here is a summary of the entire article. Of course, positive considerations that life goes on are inappropriate in this case. Yes, trouble happened, but you still have a lot of tasks left in life.
The death of the closest person (after parents) always strikes unexpectedly. Even if the husband suffered for a long time from a debilitating illness, the wife believes until the last minute that everything will work out. She simply cannot, does not want, does not allow herself to think about death.
With the passing of a loved one, a difficult period begins in a woman’s life when she realizes that there is no longer a faithful, reliable, kind, caring man next to her.
What to do? The advice of a psychologist will help you understand how to survive the death of your husband. An experienced, knowledgeable psychoanalyst will tell you what not to do, who you need to communicate with more, what things and activities to pay attention to.
What not to do after the death of your spouse Happy family life
This is the time when a widow is able to make a decision that is unexpected for everyone, often the wrong one. Realizing the scale of the tragedy, the widow (especially the young one) torments herself, blaming herself for not doing the most important thing to protect her husband, for not being able to help him, for not being there in difficult times.
Some women, experiencing severe shock and real psychological shock, push their children and close relatives away from them.
They are annoyed by the happiness of other people, they are hostile towards married couples, accusing them of callousness and soullessness.
Elderly women, having buried a spouse with whom they have lived for many years, can cause quarrels between their daughters and their husbands. It seems to them that it is impossible for a daughter to be happy being next to her beloved man while she is left alone.
There comes a time when the acute pain of loss gives way to apathy.
- A grief-stricken woman begins to tell her friends that:
- she often dreams about her late husband;
- talks to her;
- gives advices;
- tells you how to behave;
indicates people, dividing them into enemies and true friends.
This is a rather difficult period in the life of a woman who is left alone after the death of her husband.
- Among the actions and behavior that can be called unacceptable:
- The desire to remain alone. The woman isolates herself from her family, friends and acquaintances. Refuses to communicate with children.
- Frequent visits to the cemetery, where the widow spends a lot of time, talking, addressing the deceased. A huge number of photographs of the spouse, which are placed throughout the house. In such an environment, the widow becomes indifferent to everything. She listens to recordings of her loved one's voice, watches home video
, rereads letters, sorts through gifts and does not pay attention to what is happening around her.
This state can turn into deep depression, the recovery from which will be long and difficult.
In such a situation, friends often distance themselves from a grief-stricken woman who had to endure the death of her loved one, unable to withstand the emotional stress. The widow cannot be left unattended. You shouldn’t let things go to chance and wait until the woman’s desire to live returns.
The difficulty lies in the fact that both young and old widows experience an acute sense of guilt. The death of a beloved husband becomes the cause of unjustified, causeless aggression. You need to know that this condition does not contribute to the normalization of the condition and most often requires the intervention of an experienced psychologist. It is his advice that will help a woman survive the death of her husband without losing faith in goodness and justice.
You can't blame everyone around you for what happened.
Angry statements are most often addressed to doctors who were unable to save a loved one, relatives and friends who remained to live after the death of their dear, only man.
You should not turn away from those who seek to help you overcome your loss. Many of those who are among the people surrounding the widow are ready to come to the woman’s aid and save her from loneliness.
You cannot show your despair to children, especially small ones. It is difficult for them to understand what happened, they do not know how their life will go further, how to cope not only with the misfortune, but also with the problems that dad helped solve.
The widow needs to pull herself together so as not to deprive the children of confidence that as long as she is around, everything will be fine.
After the death of her husband, a woman will have to face a large number of problems, and it is possible that her physical condition will deteriorate:
- headache;
- changes in blood pressure;
- heart rhythm disturbance;
- exacerbation of existing chronic diseases.
Such changes cannot be ignored. Despite emotional depression, at the first signs of health problems you should immediately consult a doctor. Experienced psychologists They advise not to be alone, not to give up.
In order not to dwell on your own grief, you should not refuse to communicate with loved ones, and if you realize that your health has worsened, you should not put off visiting a doctor.
What can help you cope with the loss of a loved one?
Coming to terms with the loss of a loved one is very difficult; In order to get used to the idea of the impossibility of changing anything, you need to experience shock and numbness, denial, aggression and apathy.
All these experiences last for at least a year, and after the first anniversary of death has passed and the day of remembrance of the deceased has passed, many women experience all the negative emotions again. This is a huge burden on the psyche, which can lead to nervous breakdown or severe depression.
At this time, the support of family and friends is very important. Sisters, girlfriends, colleagues will be there and help you withstand the test. The widow needs not only conversations, but also attentive listeners. She remembers again the best bright moments life together with her beloved husband, talks about the feelings they had towards each other, how attentive and caring the husband was.
True friends will remind a suffering woman that her husband (if he were alive) would like to see her cheerful, hardworking, active, cheerful.
A woman's life does not end after the death of her husband. It continues with all the problems and achievements, joys and experiences. Enough time has passed since the death of the husband, and certain changes may occur in the wife’s life. Communication with people, work pressure, caring for children help to cope with the loss.
You can cope with depression by following the advice of psychologists, who strongly recommend not to isolate yourself in your small little world:
- You need to understand that death is a natural process. Departure from life is inevitable. Each woman finds the most acceptable explanation for herself, but most often the young widow repeats that her husband will remain young forever, and older women thank God for saving her husband from illness. The deceased is not forgotten; on the contrary, the widow will do everything possible so that he remains in the memory of his children (or grandchildren) as a bright, kind, caring, attentive, strong and proud person. In many controversial issues and in solving emerging problems, a woman will set her deceased husband as an example to her descendants.
- If you don’t want to talk about a sore subject, then you can write down your thoughts and entrust them to paper. The letter can be addressed to a departed loved one and resemble a sincere conversation with him. When a woman writes, it is as if she is talking to her beloved. If you want to cry, don't stop yourself. It is better to throw out all the accumulated negative emotions and return to calm communication with others, restoring emotional balance.
- A woman should put herself in order and constantly monitor her appearance. You need to follow the regime. Go to bed on time, lead active image life. If you don’t want or have the opportunity to visit the gym, then you need to walk. Walking in the park with friends and children will help you take your mind off sad thoughts.
- A widow should devote more time to her children. If a woman is elderly, her children have grown up, but there are no grandchildren yet, anything is possible free time dedicate to handicrafts or other types of creativity. It's useful to try drawing. Thoughts and feelings expressed on canvas are understandable only to her, but the creations of the aspiring artist will certainly appeal to family, friends and relatives.
- You shouldn’t revel in your own grief, it’s better to look around carefully. A woman who has lost her beloved husband is very susceptible to someone else's misfortune. She will immediately notice that there are many adults and children around who need help. By engaging in charity, a widow will not only take her mind off her sad thoughts, but will also help those in need and make someone’s life better.
How long will it take to return to normal life after the grief that a woman had to endure depends on her character and willpower.
Many widows, after a few years, improve their personal lives, remarry, and raise their own and adopted children. Others are actively involved in work, devoting themselves to charitable activities.
When choosing an activity to your liking, you should also think about the consequences of hobbies. Not everyone can engage in active or even extreme sports, but you shouldn’t get carried away with baking either.
After all, while continuing to live among people, communicating with members of the opposite sex, a woman, despite the fact that she has become a widow, must take care of her figure, remember about her health, remain sociable, open and cheerful. Another important detail is self-esteem. Left without her beloved husband, to whom the woman remained faithful and devoted for many years, the widow may decide that no one needs her anymore, that she has lost her attractiveness, that she is no longer interesting as a woman.
Such low self-esteem becomes the reason for reclusiveness and refusal to communicate.
On the contrary, you need to be in society more often, go to the movies and theaters, try to follow fashion, and not miss the opportunity to visit a beauty salon.
Those who find it difficult to make a choice and find their path in life turn to professional psychologists for advice and help.
It is an experienced psychoanalyst who is able to explain to the widow that after the death of her husband she should continue to live and please her family, close friends, and colleagues at work. Here you will hear a lot useful tips
from a psychologist on how to cope with the death of a loved one:
Prayers and charity, humility and submission to fate are not the optimal solution for everyone. Some women, in order to escape from sad thoughts, need to go on a trip, change their environment, or visit distant relatives. Communication with new acquaintances, fresh impressions, unexpected meetings will change the perception of the world around you and return to the widow the desire to live a full life.
A woman who, by the will of fate, has become a widow, experiences a huge emotional shock; her whole world changes its shape.
In such conditions, the answer to the question of how to survive the death of a beloved husband becomes vital and relevant.
The loss of a loved one is always a tragedy, grief and pain, but the passing of a beloved husband results in even greater experiences. The relationship between the spouses is very complex, there is a special, incomparable connection between them, because they share worries, joys, sorrows and good luck between them.
For many years they have been creating common life, arrange their existence, raise children, keep each other warm at night. And when one day the beloved, dearest person suddenly leaves, the soul of a loving companion falls into the abyss of grief, loneliness and hopelessness. 
Is there a way out of this situation? How can a wife come to terms with the terrible word “widow” and learn to move on with her life? And is this possible?
Captivated by sorrow
At first, the shock of the death of a loved one is so strong that it is impossible to calm down. But it’s not worth trying to immediately overcome this state, and it won’t work; the psyche saves itself with such a stupor.
At this moment, a woman, left without support and support after the death of her husband, may be tormented by a feeling of guilt, usually imaginary, thinking about whether she could somehow change the course of things. This is an inevitable stage that cannot be emphasized.
Many young women who have lost a loved one in the prime of life experience anger at others for their well-being caused by despair, and insufficient, in the widow’s opinion, grief for the deceased. 
If this emotional state does not go away for a long time or gets worse, you need to consult a psychologist.
Not wanting to accept the inevitable, heartbroken the woman mentally denies what happened, does not allow the thought that this could happen to her. The result of deep experiences can be depression, detachment from life, a state of indifference and apathy.
In the first days after the incident, such experiences are inevitable and partly normal, you have to go through them, but prolonged concentration on them is already dangerous.
That’s why it’s so important to start the next stage – learning to live without loved one, rebuild your world and life.
How to cope with the death of your beloved husband
Losing a loved one means experiencing a severe shock, from which it is difficult to recover. This may take years, much depends on personal characteristics women. 
Time cures
Sometimes it is necessary to rely on this ancient statement and simply believe that weeks, months will pass, and the pain will slowly recede, hide in the far corner of the soul and remind itself of itself with rare influxes of slight sadness and nostalgia.
Allow yourself to grieve
This is necessary for the soul to harden in the crucible of loss and become ready for a new life. Such difficult emotions cannot and are simply dangerous to push into oneself, to “strengthen oneself”, demonstrating one’s perseverance in the face of trials.
You can only heal by understanding and accepting your pain. Uncryed tears and unsuffered grief will become an obstacle to renewal and can provoke serious emotional states further.
Letting go doesn't mean falling out of love
Some women feel that any attempt to cope with grief or reduce it is a betrayal of their deceased husband. But by doing so, they not only mourn his death, but also end their lives.
Incessant memories of the past, regrets, tears, seclusion, withdrawal into oneself - is this what the person who loves you would want?
Keep the memory of him in your heart, but continue to live and try to enjoy every moment, because in the face of death it acquires special value.
It is necessary to reconcile and let go of the deceased; it is not for nothing that religions testify that the inconsolability of the living darkens the spirit of the dead.
Support from loved ones
Children, relatives, and friends can help survive the death of a beloved husband. You need to contact them more often, be in their company, and occupy yourself with caring for them. This will allow you to escape from bitter thoughts and gradually get involved in real life.
Their love will help the wound heal faster and provide the necessary support and warmth.
Charity
Many women see salvation in helping those in need. They go to hospitals, shelters or look for people who have also lost loved ones.
By helping others and sharing difficult moments with them, suffering women learn to persevere in the face of grief. 
Often the death of a loved one occurs suddenly, the wife does not have time to tell him about her feelings, how much he meant to her, maybe ask for forgiveness for some things or thank him for his love and care. This adds to the grief and despair.
Psychologists advise writing a letter to your husband and expressing in it everything you cherish that you didn’t have time for in your daily chores. By pouring out her experiences on paper, a woman will lighten her burden and be able to think about her future life.
Many wives see their main task as caring for their husband; they subordinate their everyday life to his interests, plans and preferences. And in every family an important part A woman’s life is connected with a man, so when he suddenly disappears, it is difficult for a widow to find something to do and learn to be alone. 
At this moment, it is time to live for yourself, concentrate on your own needs and desires. It is important to be able to build a scheme of actions that will help you get distracted and not feel abandoned.
Setting new goals must be a prerequisite. At first it will be difficult, but if the landmark was chosen correctly, it will soon begin to attract you and help you leave tragic events behind.
Psychologists advise spending more time on yourself, taking care of your appearance and health. Positive visual changes will steadily lead to an improvement in your internal state.
Creativity will help you find a way out of your experiences and sensations. Start drawing, writing poetry, doing handicrafts, photography or cooking. This will allow you to feel the taste of life again, distract yourself and gradually return to normal. 
It’s good if creativity is connected with communication based on interests, this will expand the circle of acquaintances and bring new impressions.
In general, it is worth having more contact with the outside world. If strangers bother you at first, you can simply wander the streets or sit in a quiet cafe.
The rapid flow of life around will certainly touch some chords and make you think about yourself and the need for changes for the better.
Sometimes it is useful to visit a psychologist; he will not only listen patiently, but also recommend what additional steps need to be taken to speed up the process of rehabilitation and return to normal life.
The death of a beloved husband is a catastrophe that needs to be experienced, comprehended and overcome, bringing together all your vitality and desire.
There are many ways to achieve this goal, the main thing is the woman’s own desire and her understanding that the death of herself dear person irreversible, you will have to come to terms with this and learn to live fully with fond memory, gratitude and warmth.
Video: My husband died. How not to lose yourself
The death of a family member is always an extreme psychological overload. Especially if it happened suddenly: murder, suicide, accident. It is impossible to prepare for the death of a loved one, but death as a result of a long, serious illness is not perceived as acutely as a sudden loss. A psychologist's advice on how to survive the death of a husband will help those who are ready to work on themselves, their condition and really want to get back to life.
You can recover from any psychological trauma. It all depends on time and desire. The advice of a specialist will seem impossible if the widow or widower sees no other way but suffering and remains captive to grief.
Stages of coming to terms with the death of a beloved spouse
The first piece of advice: the death of a loved one must be accepted, having gone through all the stages of understanding the tragedy that has occurred.
- Pain. The news of death arrived. Characteristics of the stage: impact, shock. Too much is lost in one second: support, protection, support, love. It is difficult to fully comprehend such news.
- Negation. Depending on the circumstances, this stage may come immediately after the first. If there are hassles associated with the funeral, organization, notification of friends, colleagues, relatives, then pain and denial merge into one stage. However, there are times when news comes from afar: for example, a spouse died during a business trip or while performing a combat operation in a hot spot. From the moment of receiving information until confirmation of the fact of death, the widow consoles herself with hopes: “What if this is a mistake?”, “Maybe they messed something up?”, “This could not happen to me, to us!”, “Anyone, but not we!".
- Aggression. A stage that comes later. When the fact of death is confirmed, the funeral has taken place, the widow will feel angry. This is a mandatory acceptance phase. The psyche is looking for a fulcrum, a reason for what happened, so that questions do not hang in the air. Those who have lost loved ones are looking for the culprits, they are angry at the world: those who did not save, those who remain happy, those who continue to enjoy life. If a person does not find someone to blame, aggression rushes inward: “It’s my fault!”, “If I had done it differently, he would be alive!”
- Depression. The longest stage. The understanding comes that the changes are irreversible, it is impossible to return to the old life. Living without a loved one is boring and unbearable. No joy or interest. Regardless, every widower or widow goes through this period. Melancholic and choleric people cope more difficultly, sanguine and phlegmatic people cope somewhat easier.
- Adoption. A stage that inevitably comes to everyone. Only the time frame remains individual: some people complete it in three to four months, others need a year or a year and a half. According to psychologists, optimally the entire period should take about a year. You cannot leave the problem open and refuse to experience all stages. Direct aggression towards yourself, replace depression with fun, attempts to forget yourself in someone else's arms or alcohol. Each stage must be completed. Acceptance is expressed in the understanding: there is no turning back, the person is gone forever, but life goes on. There are still many reasons to live on, to love, to give others and yourself positive emotions.
Friends and relatives should not distance themselves from the widower, hiding behind the thoughts “He is strong. He can handle it himself." The most difficult time in the life of those who have experienced loss begins a month after death. Condolences subside, those around you are less and less eager to help and support. A widower or widow is left alone with the problem of how to survive the death of a loved one. The advice of a psychologist becomes necessary precisely during this period.
How to cope with grief after the death of your beloved husband?
The first months after the loss are spent getting used to the new conditions. The main thing is not to dwell on grief, gradually come to terms with the loss, accept it. what happened, you can return to life, learn to rejoice again and please your loved ones.
Communication will help you pull yourself together:
- loved ones, children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters;
- Friends;
- psychologist;
- philosophical literature;
- religion.
What to choose depends on preferences and habits. There are sure to be people on this list who can look at loss from a new perspective. Religion explains what happens to the soul after the death of the body. Friends come up with new ones interesting entertainment. The psychologist tells how to come to terms with loss and see the light in the darkness. With loved ones you can remember funny stories about the deceased.
Advice from a psychologist: how to survive the death of your husband, life in a new way
Activities that can restore interest in the world around you:
- searching for worthy goals, achieving which the widow will feel that her deceased husband is proud of her;
- charity. Helping others - The best way make amends for experiences with benefit;
- searching for new activities. It's time to discover your talents, try what you didn't have time for before;
- searching for new places. Curiosity - main enemy apathy. There are so many interesting things around! One has only to turn on observation, and grief will begin to recede. Traveling and a change of scenery is the best way to shake things up;
- release of emotions. Healthy well-groomed beautiful body- the best medicine for a grieving soul. . You can cry about the deceased even five years after the tragedy. The key is to set boundaries and stick to them. Learn to distinguish between heavy sorrow and light sadness;
- Feel grateful: for what happened, for the priceless days of life together, for the experience of loss. Gratitude is a real balm for the heart of the bereaved.
Remember: the most difficult period for a widower or widow begins three to four weeks after the fact of the loss. It is at this time that experiences go inward, into depression, apathy. But from the very first minutes, it is the duty of relatives and friends to support a loved one and monitor his condition.
Watch the reaction
Psychologists list several typical manifestations of the first stage:
- apathy - a person seems to be in a fog or half-oblivious, does not fully understand what is happening, refuses to deal with organizational issues, or does everything automatically;
- loss of appetite. More often - loss, sometimes, on the contrary, - an abundant craving for food. Any eating disorders lead to a deterioration in the physical condition of the body and additional stress on the psycho-emotional sphere;
- physical problems: dizziness, micro-infarctions, seizures. The presence of these reactions is typical for the first hours after receiving information about death; they depend on the initial state of the body and existing problems;
- unusual reactions: unexpected hysterical laughter, strong aggression indiscriminately and other actions atypical for a person. It happens more often to those who have an unstable psyche.
Anticipate how a woman will react to the news of her husband's death. Prepare for different manifestations to avoid panic and additional pressure on the widow.
Lack of panic and hysterics among others - the first most important advice psychologist on how to help survive the loss of a husband or wife.
Stay close
Being nearby does not mean constantly being in sight, not allowing a person to be alone. If the widow or widower reacts adequately, it is okay to leave her alone with her thoughts. Being nearby at a difficult moment means being present, guessing the needs of your loved one.
The psychologist’s second advice to loved ones: help where help is needed. Need some advice - please offer it. Need help - help. Don't go into your personal area unnecessarily.
Invisible presence options:
- in the first hours, give a drop of a sedative to calm you down;
- hug, pat on the head;
- accept any manifestations of grief, do not forbid crying or screaming. If actions become inappropriate and threaten the physical condition (a person hits his head against a wall, kicks objects), stop him gently. A commanding tone - in the most exceptional cases;
- never utter lamentations like “how will you live without him now?” This is a useless rhetorical question that only carries additional stress on the psyche;
- help with organizational issues. But you need to take upon yourself only what the mourner himself is not able to do. Communication with funeral home employees, doctors, cafe owners pulls a person out of the world of grief into ordinary life, reminding: the world has not collapsed, life goes on;
How can I help my friend cope with the death of her husband?
To a woman in this the most difficult period guidelines for future life are needed. She can't always cope on her own. It’s good if, in addition to the help of relatives, the support of your best friend is added.
What not to say to a friend:
- advising to find a new man as soon as possible - this will insult the widow;
- listing similar stories that happened to others is of no use;
- cry, suffer with the widow;
- say the words “time does not heal, some suffer for five to ten years and cannot forget” - unfortunately, such formulations are often heard, especially from those who have experienced
What do we have to do:
- unobtrusively point out the good moments in the life of a woman who has lost her beloved husband: the smiles of loved ones, the success of children, the onset of spring. It seems trivial and tedious, but water wears away stone. Regular reminders that the world remains beautiful and amazing will bear fruit;
- visit the widow in crowded places more often (but don’t force her. If she doesn’t want to go to a concert, go to a restaurant together), engage her in new activities;
- asking how she was feeling, what she was doing, how her relatives were doing. Avoid the topic of grief and apathy, focusing on what is happening in her life now;
- help a friend stay beautiful, well-groomed, healthy;
- if there is not enough strength or time for support, they are not the right words, seek help from a psychologist. Psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin will help improve your condition in a few sessions.
How can I help my mother cope with the death of her husband?
If a woman does not know how to live now after the death of her husband, the advice of a psychologist will help her children. The death of a father, with whom a mother lived for a long time, has a special effect on children: firstly, they have to cope with the stress of losing their father, and secondly, they have to find the strength to support their mother.
The loss of a loved one at an older age, when you have a lot of experience behind you, often brings about deep apathy. After the death of her husband, a mother may look optimistic, but at the same time feel complete emptiness, melancholy, loss of guidelines and goals.
What not to say to your mother:
- demand that she stop crying. Tears are the way out negative energy. Accumulating it inside means risking physical health, acquiring psychosomatic diseases;
- to be left alone with grief and melancholy. Maybe she strong man, who has experienced many difficulties, but the support of children is priceless for any mother;
- prohibit mother from showing concern. Imagine: if earlier the meaning of her existence was caring for her husband, then after the loss this part of her life turned into a gaping hole. By caring for children, a mother can fill the void and feel still needed.
What to say:
- support any endeavors: whether she went to knitting courses, signed up for the library, or began to actively visit the pool - let mom see your interest. Don’t make fun of it, ask how she’s doing, rejoice with her;
- help her find new life guidelines. Let her take care of her grandchildren or pet, actively involve her in your affairs, ask for help, support, advice. The main thing is to make your mother understand that her loved ones need her;
- Walk her more often if she prefers to stay at home. Do not allow yourself to be in complete silence for a long time;
- remember warm moments of the past with mom, when she and dad were young and the children were small, look at photographs. Do this only if mom is feeling better.
A psychologist's advice on how to survive the death of a wife or husband comes down to an important idea. Main principle help to a loved one– do not impose or indicate. Act according to the person's needs, and not based on your beliefs and interests. Help in difficult situation- a complex, delicate process. To master useful skills in this area, contact psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin. On your channel he explains how hypnosis can help, how to gently get out of depression and get others out of it, and the dangers of accumulating negative emotions inside.
