Answer:
In the name of the Gracious and Merciful Allah!
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh!
Undoubtedly, all religions except Islam were abolished. After Allah blessed humanity with the coming of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), the only religion recognized by Allah from that moment on was Islam. Allah says in the Quran:
إِنَّ الدِّينَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ الْإِسْلَامُ
Allah recognizes one religion - Islam. (Quran, 3:19)
Basically, in the terminology of the Qur'an and Hadith, Jews and Christians are known as "Ahlul-Kitab" (people of the Book). This is due to the fact that they are followers of religions that Allah previously revealed to the prophets along with His Scriptures, which formed the basis of the Christian and Jewish religions. Because of these Scriptures they are called “people of the Book.”
Even during the time of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), Christians and Jews were called “Ahlul-Kitab”, despite the fact that they believed in those Scriptures, which at that time had already been distorted and changed and differed from their original form. The Quran confirms this fact, and in many verses you will find that these communities are called “Ahlul-Kitab”. From this it can be seen that although these religions have been abolished, these people are still called the “People of the Book”, and marriage to women from among them is permitted.
Also in the hadiths you will find many reports showing that the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and his companions called these people “Ahlul-Kitab”.
Taking all this into account, the marriage of Muslim men to Ahlul Kitab women will, in principle, be permissible, as established by the Qur'an:
وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِنْ قَبْلِكُمْ إِذَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ مُحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ وَلَا مُتَّخِذِي أَخْدَانٍ
And you are allowed good women from among the believers and good women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, if you pay them the gift in marriage, not in debauchery, without taking them as your mistresses. (Quran, 5:5)
Accordingly, if a Muslim performs nikah with a Christian or Jewish woman, such a marriage will be legal and valid, and their children will be legitimate. Another thing is whether we recommend such a marriage for a Muslim or not. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said that a person chooses a spouse based on certain pleasant qualities, and emphasized religiosity, that is, that the wife should be a sincere Muslim. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال تنكح المرأة لأربع لمالها ولحسبها وجمالها ولدينها فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك
A woman can be married for four reasons:
- because of her wealth,
– status,
– beauty
- and religion.
So be successful in marrying a religious woman, may you be blessed! (Bukhari. Sahih. – No. 5090, narrated by Abu Hureyra)
Therefore, a Muslim should choose a wife who will be a means of strengthening his faith, supporting him and raising his children with correct Islamic values and principles. This becomes practically unattainable if a Muslim marries a woman from Ahlul Kitab, due to differences in religion. A Muslim should beware of considering the possibility of such a marriage. In most cases, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages due to the incompatibility of cultures, lifestyles and religions.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalam.
Mufti Suhail Tarmahomed
Fatwa Center (Seattle, USA)
Fatwa Department of the Council of Ulama (KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa)
Q612
The content of the article:
Marriage between a Christian and a Muslim is a voluntary union of a woman and a man professing different faiths and belonging to different cultures, when a passionate feeling forces one to abandon traditional Christian virtues and accept Muslim values, namely complete subordination to one’s husband, restriction of rights and freedoms in public life .
Is marriage possible between representatives of different faiths?
Register love relationship between representatives of different religious denominations is permitted in any country. The restrictions apply only to the age at which one can officially marry.
Russia is a multinational state; more than 190 people live in the country. different nations. Moscow has over 11 million inhabitants, and the Slavic brothers - Russians, Ukrainians and Belarusians - are a minority here. There are only 4,620,000 of them. The rest are representatives of other nationalities. Let’s say there are significantly more Tatars in the Russian capital than in Kazan.
Currently, there are more than 20 million people professing Islam in the Russian Federation, and this number is constantly growing. Over 15 years, their number in the country has increased by 40%. If the growth continues to be so rapid, in forty years every fourth resident of Russia will be a Muslim.
In the Family Code of the Russian Federation (Article 156 “Marriage on the territory Russian Federation") there is no mention of any restrictions based on nationality when joining marital relations. So marriage between a Muslim and a Christian is quite officially possible. It is not a novelty and is quite relevant today.
Many Russian women marry Muslims. This is a matter of personal relationships and is not regulated by the state. But Christian dogma imposes certain restrictions on such marriages. The Apostle Paul also said not to “be unequally yoked with unbelievers...” (Second Corinthians 6:14).
But this was said a long time ago. Now times are completely different. Orthodox Christians and Muslims live side by side in the same country. They work, study and often live in the same dorm. There is no time for dogmas of faith here. Yes, and the question is very intimate, but you can’t order your heart...
All this is true. Only a girl who married a Muslim can hardly be considered a true Christian. Did you wear a cross and even go to church on major holidays? So what? Now this is fashionable and does not mean at all that she was a believer, knew the tenets of Christian morality well and understood the differences between Christianity (Orthodoxy) and Islam.
And they are big, especially when it comes to the behavior of women in the Muslim community. Nowadays, marriage between a Christian and a Muslim is possible, but often insight comes “later.” And then those who left for their faithful in a Muslim country rush home to mom and dad, and it’s good if they return without serious consequences for their health, not physically and mentally exhausted.
And yet, despite this, some girls recklessly “get married” to the faithful, leave their country and go with their husbands to the promised land - to their homeland.
It is important to know! In Islam, a woman is in a lower position compared to a man. One of the hadiths (a retelling of the words of the Prophet) says that “A woman is created from a rib and will never straighten out in front of you, and if you want to benefit from her, then let the crookedness remain with her. And if you try to straighten it, you will only break it.”
Why Christians marry Muslims
There are many reasons for marrying a Muslim. The main thing that is cited to justify such an act is that a great feeling forces you to get married. And with a sweetheart, as you know, there’s heaven in the hut. It is useless to tell a foolish heart, but a reasonable one should listen to the arguments of elders or at least ask what awaits a woman of a different faith in the house of a Mohammedan.
Among the reasons why marriage between a Muslim and a Christian is possible, the following should be mentioned:
- Love. In their youth, everyone is a maximalist. And if the feeling that flared up for a handsome brunette with a burning, irresistible gaze is first love? She makes you mad. Follow him to the ends of the earth! The girl agrees to become his slave and wash his feet, as long as he doesn’t leave him. There are such simpletons by nature; they easily convert to another faith and, without unnecessary emotions, adapt to Muslim customs, which are unacceptable for most Orthodox women.
- Unexpected pregnancy. Let’s say they are students and often meet in companies outside of their studies. A cheerful student party ended in a casual affair. She became pregnant and wants to solve all her problems through marriage. And these could be complaints from parents, “crooked” smiles from friends and acquaintances. He is quite attractive, and he has money, because he came to study in another country. So marrying him is not the best bad option. The girl doesn’t think much about the fact that he is a Muslim and how life will turn out in the future. Such a marriage is short-lived and can cause her big troubles in the future.
- The desire to go to another country. He's from another world. And everything there is fabulous, and besides, he’s rich and doesn’t skimp on expensive gifts. And here is such a prose of life, parents give very little money for study. And you want not only to eat well, but also to look beautiful. It makes no difference that he is a Muslim; their customs are strict but fair. And he loves me so much. I’ll go with him and have a great life!
- Loneliness. The woman was already married. My husband, for example, drank a lot and beat me too. A hopeless, tedious existence. I had to get a divorce. And here is an oriental handsome man with money. And how he cares, gives such gifts... He promises to take him with him, for example, to Turkey. There is only one life, but you want to live beautifully.
- Business. He comes from, say, Turkey. He has his own profitable business here. She works in his company. Warm relations turned into love. They began to live together, over time the woman converted to Islam and left for her husband’s country.
- The appeal of Islam. Nowadays there are many divorced Islamist preachers; it is easy to find them on the Internet. They convincingly talk about the benefits of their religion. The vices of Christian society are stigmatized. Let's say same-sex marriage, which is prohibited in Muslim countries on pain of death. Many girls (guys) succumb to this propaganda and accept the new faith. What this can lead to, a vivid example of this is sad fate Moscow student Varvara Karaulova. She traveled to Turkey and tried to illegally cross the Turkish-Syrian border in order to join the ranks of ISIS, the Islamic State terrorist organization banned in Russia.
It is important to know! There will always be women eager to marry a Muslim man. In the end, it's a personal choice. And it is not always fatal. However, the decision must be conscious, so that later it will not be “excruciatingly painful” for making a mistake, if it does happen.
Features of Muslim marriage
The marriage of a Muslim man and a Christian woman should be viewed through the prism of the norms of Muslim law, enshrined in adat and Sharia. Adat are ancient customs that believers are obliged to strictly follow in their lives. And Sharia is the “right path” given to people Prophet Muhammad.
Islam states that a woman should be an extraordinary person. For example, Khadija, the first wife of the Prophet Muhammad, was engaged in trade and herself invited him to marry her. Aisha, his second wife, left a lot of hasidim about the Prophet - information about his personal life. Muhammad respected his many wives, telling his followers that "You have rights over your women, and your women have rights over you."
But the Prophet also said that “Most of those who will go to hell will be women.” Such a contradictory opinion of Muhammad about female field resulted in a severe restriction of the rights of Muslim women.
For example, in Saudi Arabia women are actually prohibited from traveling on public transport; all parts of the body must be covered. Disobedience can result in imprisonment. And if she’s already behind bars, then there’s no early release, unlike men.
Because Slavic girl You should think seven times before deciding to marry a Muslim. Will she be able to endure all the restrictions that life as a Muslim will impose on her if she has to leave for her husband’s homeland? After all, there you will have to change your faith.
Great love is not an excuse for a rash decision. You should verify your feelings with your mind. Passion may go away, but it is extremely difficult to rewrite a broken destiny again.
Life in a Muslim family has its own nuances that a girl who wants to join her destiny with a Muslim simply needs to know. She must understand that the Islamic traditions regarding family relations, holy and unshakable. For example, she must not spend money without her husband’s permission and cannot leave home without a male escort for more than 3 days. Otherwise it will be considered incorrect. This already entails punishment.
Main features of Muslim marriage:
- The husband is the head of the family. It is impossible to disobey, his word is strictly fulfilled. He can listen to his wife's opinion, but the decision is his. You should please your man in everything and always, even in sex. Refusing it without a serious reason (this could be, say, menstruation) is considered a serious fault.
- Household. The wife is obliged to conduct all household chores under the supervision of her mother-in-law. And strictly follow all her instructions. She is the eldest among the women of the family. Talk to her on at will has no right, only when she speaks to her herself.
- Work permit. You need to ask your husband for it, he can give it, but this does not free you from housework. Muslim women can only work as doctors, nurses, teachers; they are prohibited from other professions.
- A woman has no right to talk to strangers. For disobedience there is a severe punishment; they can be charged with prostitution.
- Wearing a hijab. These are dark clothes that hide the body from prying eyes. What multi-colored dresses are here, so beloved by young people. Even the decorations cannot be seen by strangers. Everything is just for my husband.
- You can't leave the house. Only with the consent of your spouse, without his accompaniment or a relative, you cannot visit, for example, friends.
- Maybe more than one wife. I came to his homeland, and it turns out that he has three more wives at home. Muslim law allows polygamy. There is nowhere to go, you have to put up with it.
- Punishment. A husband can punish if his wife stubbornly refuses to obey him. But hitting is not allowed. If she can prove the cases physical violence over her, can get a divorce. However, in this case, there is a very low probability that the Christian wife will take the children with her. The law is on the father's side here.
- Restrictions on attendance at sporting events. This is due to the fact that there will be involuntary communication with strangers, and this is strictly not allowed.
- Can't drive a car. Accordingly, a ban on obtaining a driver's license. In Saudi Arabia, being a female driver is a great sin.
- Internet restriction. Anyone who wants to marry a Muslim should know that in Muslim countries he is under strict control. Let's say there is a ban on social media, dating sites, others. The greatest restrictions exist in Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Jordan, and Iran. Anyone who violates Islamic values on the Internet may end up in prison.
It is important to know! The Islamic theologian al-Ghazali said: “Out of 1000 virtues, only one applies to women, the remaining 999 apply to men.” Before a Christian woman marries a Muslim, she should carefully weigh all the pros and cons of such a union. So that later you don’t bitterly repent and don’t bite your elbows.
Consequences of marriage between a Christian and a Muslim
Actually, all the features of the marriage of an Orthodox woman and a Muslim can become consequences. Happy or sad if the decision to marry was made hastily.
Great chance that he will be prosperous when the husband remained in his wife’s homeland and even converted to her faith. And if they are both non-believers, it is possible that they will simply live happily, without burdening themselves with the religious dogmas of Christianity (Orthodoxy or Catholicism) and Mohammedanism.
In her husband’s homeland, if she decided to leave with him, the family can also be happy. And here a lot depends on the country where you went and the personality of the faithful. Will he be able to provide his wife with familiar living conditions in a state completely unfamiliar to her? An important role is how the stranger will receive her new family.
Her character also determines her future fate. How will she react to the new unusual life for herself, will she come to terms with it or will she resist the harsh life situation.
A true Christian woman is unlikely to decide to marry a Muslim, even great love- this is not a reason to abandon the faith of your ancestors. And if this does happen, such an apostate departs from Christian morality and loses herself in God. He turns away from her, the realization of this will torment her soul for the rest of her life.
It is not easy to break oneself for a person who is accustomed to living freely, without wild taboos in the 21st century. And in Islam there are many of these for men, and even more for women. For example, the Islamic preacher Abu Isa at-Tirmidhi, who lived in the 9th century, said: “If a woman is disobedient or immodest, the husband has the right to beat her, but not to break her bones.” He believed that if a husband wants intimacy with his wife, she must unquestioningly submit, “even if she bakes bread at the stove,” since she “has no power over her body, even her milk belongs to her husband.”
Sharia law speaks about the inequality of women. For example, in court, the testimony of two women is equal to the testimony of one man. A Muslim can cheat on his wife, and, interestingly, can enter into short-term marriages from one hour to a year. In fact, this is a license for prostitution.
And God forbid a wife look at a strange man or she will be caught in adultery. This can end very sadly, for example, they can be stoned. This punishment is not practiced in all Muslim countries, but in Somalia in 2008 there was a case where a teenage girl was beaten to death only on the grounds that she had allegedly been raped by three men. The Islamist authorities interpreted this as having provoked them to violence.
An Orthodox Christian should certainly know about these and many other consequences of marriage with a Muslim before deciding to marry a Mohammedan. So that later all the harsh restrictions on the rights and freedoms of women that reign in Muslim society will not be a heavy duty for her. If this doesn’t stop you - love is above all, then good luck.
But more often than not, women have a very vague idea of the consequences of marriage to a Muslim. In the Soviet Union, there were often cases when a girl married a guy from Central Asia. Let's say he served where she lived. The soldier seemed like a sweet and reliable person, but upon arrival with his young wife at his home he suddenly turned out to be a despot. His relatives also did not want to recognize her. And this became a great tragedy for the woman.
Today, a Muslim often takes his girlfriend to his country. All roots with relatives are cut off. It’s hard to say what could happen to her in a foreign land if life doesn’t work out. The unfortunate woman has to endure many ordeals, and it’s good if she manages to return to her homeland. And some are resigned to their lot. But such a fate can hardly be called happy.
In our troubled times, it is especially dangerous that preachers have appeared among young Muslims who describe the delights of Islam to Slavic women and even marry them. But in fact, women are recruited into the ranks of various terrorist groups banned in Russia. And this is the most terrible side of marriage with Muslims. It happens that such women become suicide bombers.
Watch a video about the marriage of a Christian and a Muslim:
Marriage between a Christian and a Muslim is a very serious step. There are many “pools” invisible to the inexperienced eye in which you can get wrapped up and confused. First of all, this applies to women who decide to throw in their lot with a person from a Muslim country. Feelings are good. But a wisely made decision is better! If a girl does not value her personal freedom and is ready to sacrifice herself in the name of love, then she should take the flag into her hands! But unfortunately, things often happen in life. sad stories when a rash act can significantly ruin your life. And not only can it be spoiled, sometimes you can even lose it.
Nowadays, quite often girls on forums write “I’m looking for a Muslim husband,” considering Muslim guys to be a more profitable match - their religion forbids them to drink alcohol, and family is a sacred concept for them. But is everything really so good in Muslim families? Surely there are some peculiarities here too.
Muslim husband, Christian wife
Many ladies are interested in whether it is possible for a Christian woman to marry a Muslim; will the wife be forced to accept another faith? According to the laws of Islam, a Christian woman may not renounce her faith, but she will not be able to raise a child in Christianity - he will have to become a Muslim. You also need to remember that parents in Muslim society are highly respected, and therefore their word is often equated to the law. And if the parents are categorically against the Christian bride, then the man would rather break off the relationship than contradict the parents.
Marrying a Muslim - Features of a Muslim Family
Often women think about how to marry a Muslim, and not about how they will live with him. In order to meet a Muslim, there are no special problems - if domestic ones do not suit you, then you can look for them on vacation or in universities that accept foreign students, as well as on the Internet. But before you turn away from men of your religion, consider whether you can follow all the rules of a Muslim family. There are the following features and they will not be acceptable for every woman. Of course, everything depends on people, but it’s worth being prepared for such moments:
Perhaps these rules seem complex and incomprehensible to a non-Muslim woman. But in the person of a Muslim husband who honors his religion, you will get a faithful, devoted, honest, sympathetic family man with wonderful moral qualities and without addiction to alcohol, who will love you and your children, honor your relatives and will not prevent you from observing your religion.
Priest's answer:
According to God’s plan, the purpose of every person’s earthly life is correct self-determination regarding God and His Truth - Jesus Christ (John 14:6), as well as in achieving a saving relationship with God through the Redemptive Sacrifice of Christ. These relationships are designated as: deification, holiness, or reverence (2 Pet. 1:4). The family is a small church (Col. 4:15), which serves as one of the means to achieve the above-mentioned goal, for every person has two legal paths leading to Eternal Life: holy marriage, or holy celibacy, one of a variety of which is monasticism. IN Orthodox family, as in a small church, there must be a process of preparing its members: husband, wife and children, through right faith and church life, for Eternity. This is why the Apostle Paul commands Christians to marry in the Lord (1 Cor. 7:39), that is, with a person who shares with us the most important thing: our Orthodox faith. The entry of a Christian or a Christian woman into marriage with a man of other faiths, or a woman of a different faith, in particular with a Muslim, is a violation of both God’s plan about the ultimate goal of life - deification, and the commandment of the Apostle Paul: to marry in the Lord. Until the 18th century, in Russian Orthodox Church such marriages were unconditionally prohibited. But, starting with Peter 1, relaxations began to occur in this area: Orthodox Christians were allowed to marry people of other faiths under the condition that the latter would not seduce them into their faith, and that children born from such a marriage would be baptized and raised in Orthodoxy.
But when entering into interreligious marriages, spouses, as a rule, assert: “Who believes in what is not important, because God is One! The main thing is that we love each other!” I, as a priest, have repeatedly had to be convinced that this love continues until the Orthodox (Orthodox) living in such interreligious marriages inevitably encounter fundamental differences in cultures, and most importantly, religions: Islam and Orthodoxy. This can be revealed, for example, when future husband, or his relatives, will offer the bride, as a condition of marriage, the Muslim rite of “wedding” and her automatic acceptance of Islam, leading to her renunciation of Jesus Christ. Or when children are born in such a marriage, and the Christian wife wants to impart the Sacrament of Baptism to them, joining them to the Church of Christ, and the Muslim husband, on the contrary, wants to circumcise them, initiating them into Islam (sometimes the spouses agree like this: baptize girls, circumcise boys. It turns out: girls go to heaven, and boys go to hell!). Or, these contradictions are revealed when a Christian woman, after marriage, tries to fulfill her religious duties: attend church, pray at home, etc. You can, of course, come to another option: become secular people (read, renounce your religious beliefs), but it is not a fact that this problem will not arise in the future. After all, a secular husband, an ethnic Muslim, may have believing relatives who practice Islam, who will inevitably raise the question of the religious affiliation of his wife and children. Only in very rare cases do spouses manage to get along without changing their religious views (again, provided that these views simply do not exist!). Basically, as a rule, severe conflicts of choice arise: either my Orthodoxy, or my family... In my parish there was such a case: an Orthodox woman married a Muslim, and he did not allow her to go to church, pray Orthodoxy, or baptize those born to them children until, many years later, he...died. In another case, an Orthodox woman who married a Muslim, until the moment of her death, could not only fulfill religious duties towards God, but also simply wear a cross. She hid it... in her hair, where it was discovered when, after her death, they began to wash her body.
That is, if a husband and wife have different religious views, there cannot be unanimity between them. Their marriage is built on a foundation that initially has a deep crack that threatens to turn into an abyss at any time. By the way, research in this area by American sociologists suggests that mixed marriages have a chance of decaying three times more often. This problem is acutely revealed in the process of raising new children. St. John Chrysostom writes: “To educate the hearts of children in virtue and piety is the sacred duty of parents, which cannot be transgressed without becoming guilty of some kind of infanticide...” But how can one raise children in faith and piety if parents understand this faith differently and cannot be unanimous either in words or in the manner of their religious life? The upbringing of a child should not consist in introducing him to some abstract God, supposedly common to all religions, but in identifying him as a member of a clear religion, giving him specific forms of worship, prayer, public worship, etc. Difficulties of religious education begin in an interreligious marriage from the moment the child is born. According to Islam, firstly, the non-religious spouse must convert to Islam. Secondly, children (at least boys) must be circumcised and raised in the traditions of Islam. According to Orthodoxy, children born in interreligious marriages must be raised in the Orthodox faith. This means that one of the spouses will be forced to withdraw from religious education, or conflict situations will arise between them, and children growing up in an atmosphere of duality, as a rule, grow up as non-believers. Often the problem of upbringing is “solved” by spouses this way: we will not baptize or circumcise children. Let them grow up and decide what religion they belong to. In practice, this leads to the fact that, not seeing in their parents an example of a unanimous religious life and corresponding ideological education, children grow up religiously indifferent. This is how, in the words of Chrysostom, an Orthodox parent “becomes guilty of some kind of infanticide.”
Few people think about the fact that even the death of one of the spouses does not put an end to these disagreements. An Orthodox husband cannot bury his Muslim wife Orthodox rite, cannot pray for her: order funeral services and memorial services, funeral masses. Even the natural desire of the spouses to be buried together in the same cemetery cannot be fulfilled, since just as Muslims prohibit burying non-believers together with the faithful, so according to Orthodox canons, non-believers are not buried together with Christians in a Christian cemetery. Therefore, before an Orthodox man marries a non-Orthodox woman, he needs to carefully weigh everything and consider the consequences of his decision.
What to do if this has already happened? – Now we have to live in a distorted family atmosphere and resign ourselves. Is it necessary to persuade a non-Christian spouse to accept Orthodoxy? – It will be extremely difficult to do this. Under no circumstances should you impose your religious views here. Better - in practice, in Everyday life preach Christianity by example.
Is it possible for a Muslim mother to attend the baptism of her children? - It’s possible, it’s possible. But here another problem of interreligious marriages comes to light: from the point of view of Islam, Christians are kafirs, polytheists, because they profess faith in the Holy Trinity. And for a Muslim mother (even an ethnic one) to be present at the initiation of her child into a polytheistic religion means to break the ideas of her religion, to double up.
Father, I have a problem.
What's the matter?
You see, I love one person very much, I just can’t live without him.
Well, what's the question? Sign, get married and live happily ever after!
Well, you see, my lover is a Muslim. He's not a fanatic. He eats pork and does not perform prayers, but he is a Muslim by origin and therefore does not want to renounce the faith of his ancestors. He believes in God, and we believe that there is only one God, and if so, then there will be no sin in our wedding. What does the Church think? After all, I am Orthodox, so I need to get a blessing for marriage.
This kind of conversation happens very often in our churches now. And this is not surprising. After the Soviet era, a mixture of peoples occurred. And the situation when believers of two religions want to get married has become very common. But how does God evaluate this matter? How to behave if such a marriage occurs? How should an Orthodox spouse of a Muslim follower behave correctly? We will answer these questions in this work.
HOW DOES THE CHURCH ABOUT MARRIAGE WITH GENIORS?
Contrary to the opinion of many, both the word of God and the decrees of the Church clearly condemn marriages between Christians and non-Christians. If we look at the Holy Scriptures, we will see that throughout almost the entire sacred history, God warns against mixing people faithful to Him with those who do not fulfill His will. Already at the dawn of the world, the greatest catastrophe of the Flood occurred, caused by the fact that “the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were beautiful, and took them as wives of their choosing. And the Lord God said: My Spirit will not forever be despised by these men; because they are flesh” (Genesis 6:2-3). The traditional interpretation says that the sons of God are the descendants of Seth, faithful to the Lord, and the daughters of men are Cainites, and the mixing of these two genera led to the destruction of the ancient world. Remembering this terrible event, St. Abraham made his servant swear by God that he would not take Isaac a wife from the daughters of Canaan (Gen. 24:3). In the same way, one of the reasons for Esau’s rejection was that he took Hittite women as his wives. “And this was a burden to Isaac and Rebekah” (Gen. 26:35), so that the latter said that she “was not happy with life because of the daughters of the Hittites” (Gen. 27:46).
The law of God recorded this norm in writing: “Do not take wives from their daughters for your sons and do not give your daughters in marriage, lest their daughters, having committed fornication after their gods, lead your sons into fornication after their gods” (Ex. 34:16). ). And “then the wrath of the Lord will burn against you, and He will quickly destroy you” (Deut. 7:4).
And, indeed, this threat overtook those who violated the covenant of the Lord. Beginning with the terrible defeat at Baal-Pegor, when 24,000 people died, only the blow of Phinehas’ spear stopped the punishment. (Num. 25) During the reign of the judges, Samson dies because of the Philistine Delilah (Judg. 16), and before the terrible fall of the wisest king Solomon, whose heart was corrupted by his wives. (3 Kings 11:3). God immediately punished those who violated His command.
Moreover, this commandment was in no way connected with the idea of purity of blood. Rahab the harlot, Zipporah the wife of Moses, Ruth the Moabite, who renounced their false gods, entered the people of God. This commandment became especially important for the saints Ezra and Nehemiah, who fought against the mixing of the chosen people with foreigners (1 Ezra 9-10; Neh. 13, 23-29).
The Word of God calls mixed marriages “a great evil, a sin before God” (Neh. 13:27), “an iniquity that exceeds the head, and a guilt that grows to the heavens” (1 Ezra 9:6). Prophet Malachi declares: “Judah acts treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judas has disgraced the holy thing of the Lord, which he loved, and married the daughter of a strange god.” “Whoever does this, the Lord will destroy from the tents of Jacob the one who keeps watch and answers and sacrifices to the Lord of hosts” (Mal. 2:11-12). Is it not in fulfillment of this curse of God that the children of such criminals and criminals become atheists and often die?
When the New Covenant came, the law of Moses was surpassed by the grace of the gospel: yet this command of the Lord remained in force. The Apostolic Council in Jerusalem commanded converts from the pagans to abstain from fornication (Acts 15:29), from which interpreters deduce the validity of all marriage prohibitions of the Old Testament for Christians. Further, the Apostle Paul, allowing his wife to marry a second time, adds “only in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39).
The impossibility of marrying infidels has always been obvious to Christians, and this was strictly observed, despite the fact that Christian communities were very small. So smch. Ignatius the God-Bearer writes: “Tell my sisters to love the Lord and be content with their husbands in the flesh and in the spirit. Likewise, instruct my brothers in the name of Jesus Christ to “love their wives as the Lord Jesus Christ loves the Church”... It is good for men and women who marry to do so with the blessing of the bishop, so that the marriage will be according to the Lord, and not according to lust.” Other holy fathers thought the same. For example, holy. Ambrose of Milan says: “if marriage itself must be sanctified by priestly protection and blessing, then how can there be marriage where there is no agreement of faith.”
This teaching was directly expressed by the Orthodox Church through the mouth of the Ecumenical Councils. Rule 14 of the IV Ecumenical Council imposes penance on those readers and singers who marry non-believers or give their children to such a marriage. In accordance with the interpretation of Bishop. Nicodemus (Milash) punishment is deposition. The Church’s attitude to this issue is stated even more clearly and without the possibility of any reinterpretation in Canon 72 of the VI Ecumenical Council. It reads: “It is not worthy for an Orthodox husband to marry a heretical wife, nor for an Orthodox wife to marry a heretic husband. If something like this is seen to have been done by someone: the marriage will be considered unsustainable, and the illegal cohabitation will be dissolved. For it is not proper to confuse the unmixed, nor to copulate with the sheep of the wolf, nor with the part of Christ the lot of sinners. If anyone transgresses what we have decreed, let him be excommunicated. But if some, while still in unbelief, and not being counted among the herd of Orthodox, were united in legal marriage: then one of them, having chosen what was good, resorted to the light of truth, and the other remained in the bonds of error, not wanting to look at the divine rays, and if, moreover, an unfaithful wife desires to cohabit with a faithful husband, or, on the contrary, an unfaithful husband with a faithful wife: then let them not be separated, according to the divine apostle: for the husband is unfaithful in relation to his wife, holy is the unfaithful wife in relation to the faithful husband (1 Cor. 7:14) "
The same norm was in effect in Russia before the 1917 revolution. By Russian law, “Russian subjects of the Orthodox faith are completely prohibited from marrying non-Christians,” and such marriage was not recognized as “legal and valid.” Children born in such a union were recognized as illegitimate, had no rights to inheritance and title, and the relationship itself was recognized as adulterous. A Christian who entered it, even at that time, was subject to 4 years of excommunication from Communion.
In the same case, when one of the spouses of other faiths converted to Christianity, the one who remained outside the Church was immediately taken to sign that the children who would be born to them after this would be baptized in the Orthodox Church. A non-believer will not be led to his faith in any way, and his faithful half will not be deprived of monogamous cohabitation throughout her life, and will not force her to return to her previous error. If the unfaithful spouse gave such a subscription and followed it, then the marriage was recognized as legal; if there was a refusal or violation of these obligations, then the marriage was immediately dissolved, and the convert had the right to a new marriage with an Orthodox Christian. The great dogmatists of the 19th century - for example, Met. Macarius (Bulgakov) - also considered it impossible for a faithful man to marry a non-Christian.
So both God and His Church categorically forbid Christians to enter into an alliance with non-Christians. And this is not surprising. After all, in marriage two people become one flesh, but how can he be happy if one of the spouses believes in the Triune God of love, and the other fears a distant, lonely ruler who does not allow him to meet him? How can those who wear the Cross on their chests live peacefully with those who believe that Christ was not crucified? What kind of family strength can we talk about when the husband has the right, on the basis of his faith, to take mistresses for himself, whom he will call new wives or concubines?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO SOMEONE WHO MARRIES A MUSLIM.
But all these arguments, unfortunately, often have no effect on those who are in love. They say: “I will still only be happy with him, and therefore I don’t care what God and the Church say.” Someone who says this cannot, of course, be considered an Orthodox Christian. But we also have something to say to her. After all, by Baptism she still belongs to the Church, and until her death secret ties connect her with the Body of Christ. This is both an honor and a responsibility. Anyone who has already entered into a Covenant with God, even in childhood, can never become like those who are initially alien to the Creator. The prodigal son is still a son. God says: “Let there not be such a person among you who, having heard the words of this curse, would boast in his heart, saying: “I will be happy, despite the fact that I will walk according to the will of my heart”... The Lord will not forgive such a one, but immediately the anger of the Lord and His wrath will kindle against such a person, and all the curse of this covenant will fall on him, and the Lord will blot out his name from under heaven; and the Lord will separate him for destruction” (Deut. 29:20-21).
But from a practical point of view, such a marriage for a person raised in the Christian tradition will certainly be unhappy. After all, the attitude towards a woman in Islam is unbearable for those who were brought up on the idea of love between husband and wife as the norm married life. For those who do not believe, it is worth citing the Islamic norms of attitude towards a wife, which the unfortunate woman will have to fulfill if she wants to violate the word of God. So, from the point of view of Islam, “a woman is obliged to listen to her husband and show him complete obedience, except in cases where he demands something prohibited by Islam.” A woman comes to her husband's family. Without his permission, she cannot leave home or engage in professional activities.
The wife has the right to visit her parents and close relatives, although her husband may prohibit her from meeting her children from a previous marriage. In some Muslim countries, a husband can reduce his wife's visits to her parents to once a week. The wife has the right to refuse marital relations with her husband only if he did not bring in the agreed upon marriage contract shares of the dowry, or during the period of fasting. Unreasonable refusal by the wife will lead to her “suspension”, i.e. divorce. This will also be the end of her use of contraceptives. The Muslim holy book, the Koran, calls on husbands to punish their wives in case of disobedience, disagreement, or simply to improve their character. The Koran says that “God has elevated men in their essence above women, and in addition, husbands pay the marriage dowry…. Scold them, intimidate them, when they don’t obey... - beat them. If wives are obedient, then be lenient towards them” (Quran 4:38; 4:34). Muslim theologian al-Ghazali calls marriage “a type of slavery for a woman. Her life becomes complete obedience to her husband in everything, if he does not violate the laws of Islam.” Raising children is the exclusive right of the husband. Even if the wife belongs to one of the “revealed religions,” that is, if she is a Jew or a Christian. Raising children in a different faith is prohibited by Muslim law.”
Let's add something else about the attitude towards women in Islam. “According to a common hadith – the saying of the “prophet” – most women will end up in hell. According to Ibn Umar, “the prophet said: O assembly of women! Give alms, ask more for forgiveness, for I saw that most of the inhabitants of the fire are you. And one woman from among them asked: Why are most of the inhabitants of fire us? He said: You curse a lot and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen that anyone with intelligence has more shortcomings in faith and intelligence than you” (Muslim, 1879). According to another hadith, “the prophet said: I have not left behind me a temptation more harmful to men than women” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
According to Sharia, “the testimony of two women in court is equivalent to the testimony of one man. Women are also prohibited from following the funeral procession. A Muslim man has the right to marry a woman of other faiths, but a Muslim woman cannot marry a man of other faiths.”
But here it is also worth noting that, having married a Muslim, a wife should under no circumstances expect marital fidelity from him. After all, he has the right to have up to four wives, as well as to enter into so-called contracts. “temporary marriages” for a period of 1 hour to a year (this is how prostitution is often justified). If Russian state laws prohibit polygamy, then in practice it existed and still exists.
So, dear ladies, when entering into an Islamic marriage, you must be prepared for the fact that you will be treated like animals, and for infidelity that is not even considered such, and for beatings from your husband, sanctioned by the Koran. (And for Muslim husbands, even in Europe, Islamic theologians publish special books about the right ways wife beating in such a way as not to mutilate your body too much, so that you can continue to use it without being subjected to secular justice). If you like all this - please! Just don’t say that my lover would never do that because he is good. In addition to your partner (the word of God does not allow me to call him a husband), there is also his family, which he himself must obey, whether he wants it or not. A little later we will provide evidence of what awaits a woman in reality if she ends up in a modern Islamic family. But first, let’s also say that you don’t have to count on a long and happy life V strong family. After all, according to the rules of Islam, a husband can easily divorce his wife. This can be a correct divorce (muborot) at the request of the husband with an explanation of the reasons, or a joint decision of the husband and wife, or it can be simply a divorce at the request of the husband without explaining the reasons in a simplified form (talaq), after he utters one of the established phrases: “you are excommunicated” or “unite with the family.”
In case of divorce, the husband must allocate the necessary property to his wife “according to custom.” Divorced woman stays in house for three months ex-husband to determine if she is pregnant. If a child is born, he must be left in the father's house. The wife can demand a divorce only through the court, citing only strictly defined grounds: if the husband has physical disabilities, does not fulfill marital duties, treats his wife cruelly, or does not allocate funds for her maintenance.
At the same time, if the spouses suddenly want to reunite again, then in Islam there is a monstrous decree that for this the wife must first marry another man, divorce him, and only after that return to the previous one: “If he divorced her, then not she is allowed to him afterwards until she marries another husband, and if he gives her a divorce, then there is no sin over them if they return” (Quran 2.230).
CHRISTIAN IN ISLAM. DESCRIPTION OF REALITY.
But now it’s worth giving examples of how these norms are implemented in practice in the stories of our contemporaries. To begin with, let us present an excerpt from a study by ethnographers who studied the state of affairs in Central Asia in 1980-1990.
“European women who live in marriages with representatives of indigenous nationalities are, in the overwhelming majority, not local natives. The story of their appearance in Central Asia is almost always the same: a young guy was in the army or at school, at work, met a girl, got married, and brought it with him. Several times I met a woman from a local Russian village as a Muslim wife. But there were no exceptions to the rule: it always turned out that she was not one of the old-timers, but came to the republic shortly before her marriage. Basically, these were those who were evacuated from central Russia during the war.
Most often, Russian women agree to marry a Muslim, having a very vague and far from reality idea of what awaits them. Many go to Central Asia for reasons of material well-being and severely repent on the spot. (“There, in Russia, he, the groom, that is, dressed in European style, says that he has three houses here. And they come here - what should she do in a clay house?”). Often the husband’s relatives do not accept a young daughter-in-law, and circumstances do not allow her to live separately from them. Sometimes they try to separate young people because they have already found a local bride for him without the groom’s consent. Quarrels begin between the mother-in-law and the “freedom-loving” daughter-in-law in Russian. Therefore, many marriages break up at the very beginning of their life together. Most wives go back in such cases.
Some of the young spouses withstand the described tests, and then, as a rule, the following happens. Women are gradually coming to terms with their role as daughters-in-law in patriarchal family, assimilate the norms of behavior accepted among local residents, learn the language and, ultimately, as informants said, they are completely “domesticated” or “tajiized.” In order to save a marriage in this way, a Russian wife needs enormous patience. Then they begin to consider her as one of their own and treat her well - however, only on the condition that she converts to Islam and follows the customs.
In such cases, dramatic changes occur with women. Their behavior, clothing, conversation, lifestyle sometimes become indistinguishable from local residents. It happens that a woman almost does not remember her native language. Here are a few short but typical stories: “A Tajik brought one girl from Russia after the army. The first time I lived here, I cried, came to complain, but now you can’t tell me apart from a Tajik woman: by the language, by the clothes (she wears trousers), she gave birth to five children and looks alike”; “She was married to an Uzbek, she became domesticated, her husband beat her on the head...”; “One was brought from Vladimir, very young. I got used to it. He speaks almost no Russian at all. I ask her in Uzbek: “Why did you become like this?” - Don't know…".
And now we present the memoirs of a woman who returned from Islam, describing from the inside all the “charms” of the Islamic family for those who left Christ for Mohammed:
“Since I was fifteen, I have been living with my parents in Germany. I was nineteen years old when I met Fatih. He turned out to be the only young man who really shared my views on this world, on God. I was Orthodox. He is a Muslim. When we met, my faith was cooling. I saw only hypocrisy and hypocrisy in churches. I didn’t hear God in my soul. It would have been impossible for a person like me to live without this. When I don’t feel God in my life, I have the feeling that I am not living, but gradually dying, that life has no meaning. Fatih was just good friend. He was sixteen years old, but he looked older, and based on his behavior and thinking, I would give him at least twenty. He deceived me by saying that he was 17. When I noticed that he gradually began to develop some feelings for me, I said that we should not meet again, since a relationship between us was impossible. We haven't seen each other for six months. My falling away from the church continued...
I remembered Fatih all this time, and I missed him. Once, six months later, we met by chance on the street, but did not say hello. And then we finally got on the phone and decided to meet. Having met him, I realized that more loved one(not counting my mother, of course) I have never met on this earth. I found out that he was very sick, so that the doctors had difficulty saving him. I imagined with horror that I might never see this person, who seemed completely dear to me. I didn’t want any close relationship with him, since I didn’t perceive him carnally (on the contrary, it was strange for me to imagine that something like that could happen between us). But he said that he could not treat me adequately, and I agreed to date him. And the next day he was admitted to the hospital, as that illness had returned, and for two weeks I came to see him every day, as a result of which I met all his relatives. This was probably not planned on his part, since he did not know how his family would react to such a phenomenon as a foreign and non-religious girlfriend. In general, they liked me because I was shy and didn’t know what to say, and therefore became more and more silent in their presence. When they found out about our relationship in our parish, a quiet panic arose. Our Orthodox people tried to help me, but they increasingly pushed me towards Islam...
I can’t achieve anything in Christianity, I don’t hear God, I can’t reach him. And Fatih guarantees me that Islam is also a correct religion (I had almost no doubt about this). On the street I constantly saw Muslim women, and their faces seemed so pure to me (internally), and I also really liked the hijab (Muslim clothing), I really wanted to dress the same way.
I read a lot about Islam and decided that it was worth trying to reach God through a different window. I pushed the idea of Christ as God into a distant corner of my heart and said the Shahada, after which I performed a complete ablution and began to perform the prayer I had previously learned by heart. I also immediately put on a scarf and changed my name...
Soon we got married according to Muslim rites. Islam did not give me what I expected. I didn't feel anything. I tried to reach out to God, but He did not answer me in any way, not even with any sign. Only in the Bible, sometimes opening it in a random place, would I suddenly read the answers to my questions. It was very difficult to perform namaz. Repeat the same suras from the Koran five times a day Arabic, - What's the point of this? Is this a prayer? There was no point in this. This had nothing to do with Christian prayer, where you can pray both mentally and with all your heart, according to already written prayers or in your own words. In Islam there are only Duas - prayers that can be said in your native language. In them, I often asked God to show me the true path. What is the point of fasting during Ramadan if in the evening you eat so much that you feel sick, and during the day you are so weak that you cannot do anything? And women are also required to prepare food for breaking the fast.
It was also painful for me that without a community you are nothing, and to break away from the community is a huge sin. How could I join a society in which everyone spoke exclusively Turkish? It’s not just that, I’ve just gotten used to being independent since childhood. Fatih's family was not very religious. This family is generally very problematic. Father is a player, mother is mentally ill, so that's it family problems I always had to swallow. After all, washing dirty linen in public is also a sin. (If your husband or mother-in-law beats you, as a Muslim you should not tell anyone about it). And she had a very hard time in her husband’s family, since her husband’s parents did not love her, and her husband beat her. Yes, he beat him, he beat him for real. During her 15 years of living in Germany, she never learned to speak German. She has a 7th grade education. Many European women are surprised: why Turkish women do not leave their husbands who beat them. Due to the fact that the structure of society is communal, they simply do not know how to live without their family. It's better to have a bad family. Their individuality is almost at zero level. They all depend on society, on the opinion of this society and on its decisions. The latter was unbearable for me. If everyone was going to go to nature, but you don’t want to, you have to go. Otherwise, they simply don’t respect you. If everyone sits and eats, but you don’t, you’re an outcast. Fatih has another older brother (Mehmet), a younger brother (Ilker) and younger sister(Nergiz). The older brother is a favorite, Fatih is already less loved, since he is not the first-born, Ilker was morbidly fat from his early youth, Nergiz is a very shy, fat and hunchbacked girl, who for some reason already began to wear a headscarf at the age of 12. By this she seemed to cut herself off even more from the world, and through this from normal development individuality. She has no friends, after school she sits in the living room and watches Turkish television.
I was irritated by the hierarchy, which was so unusual for me: when I came to visit (this was even before converting to Islam, because after that I was already “one of the people” with all the responsibilities), Fatih asked if I wanted mineral water. If I answered “yes,” he said this to Ilker, and Ilker sent Nergiz. So do parents. If they ask Fatih to do something, he asked Ilker, and he asked Nergiz (rather ordered, rather than asked, since they did not have the word “please” in their vocabulary). As a result, the boys grew up lazy. When I appeared, I had to do a lot, since I couldn’t dare to convey my request to poor Nergiz. I must note that in general our relationship with Fatih was not so smooth.
After I converted to Islam, I often began to fall into hysterics, while scratching my face and hands, trying to heartache drown out the physical. Where did the pain come from? Probably because of the abyss that has formed between me and God. Fatih tried to control me completely simply out of fear that something would happen to me, out of fear of losing me. He forced me to do things that, in his eyes, corresponded to my new status. I had to come to their home several times a week and help his mother, with whom we had no common language. She spoke only Turkish. I had to go to the madrasah, where I was unbearably bored, since the women there only did housework, sweating in scarves and sweaters with long sleeves. There were no strangers, but the head of the family taught everyone that way. They even slept in scarves.
I had to spend as much time as possible with my family. At the same time, Fatih talked with them in Turkish, and I sat like a stump, not understanding anything and bored, because I was not used to not occupying my brain with something useful, at least a book. He did not allow me to read almost anything except the books of Said Nursi (the founder of this branch of Islam) and perhaps the Koran, but only in Arabic. But since childhood I was used to reading a lot, and very rarely these were books that were harmful to the soul. I didn’t read detective stories or novels, but Fatih forbade me from psychology, general literature, and the classics. I had no right to go anywhere without his knowledge. In itself, this is not so scary if he at least sometimes allowed something. Almost everything I asked him about, he forbade me. That is, I already started doing things secretly, simply because the prohibitions prevailed. So, I secretly studied Russian and read the classics. Turkish was not very bad for me, but due to terrible mental imbalance and constant fears of Fatih’s wrath, I simply did not find the strength to study Turkish systematically. In his family, I still remained a stranger, since I did not know the language and could not understand the culture itself. How can you sit and wag your tongue so often and do nothing?
I was amazed at the underdevelopment of individual thinking and thinking in general as such. Usually, men's company separated from the women's room, and then I didn't even have the opportunity to ask Fatih what the conversation was about. Fatih was terribly afraid of my hysterics and sometimes simply did not know what to do with me. As it turned out later, he, the poor man, also constantly lived in fear that he would drive me crazy. And he, having good intuition, felt that I was not entirely sincere with him and did not really trust him. He often had nightmares about me taking off my headscarf and living dissolutely. And so our relationship was full of fear and resentment. Before the engagement (imam nikkah), everything was also very painful, since we needed to find out what we were getting into and learn more about our rights and responsibilities in marriage. That's when it all started. He tried to convince me that I, as a woman, must be led by a man (especially in the spiritual aspect), that there is no other way, that I do not have the right to make decisions myself. He said that man and woman are not equal, while he constantly said that a woman is not worse than a man. I answered that he treated me like a small child. I can't make a single decision. Everything is decided for me. I claimed that for my spiritual development I need to try to walk and get bumps on my own.
We took a book about Muslim marriage and found out some interesting things. It turns out that he has the right to lightly beat me in case of disobedience. I also did not have the right to divorce, with some exceptions (his sexual impotence, falling away from the faith, or if he takes a second wife). At that time, Christ stood at the door and KNOCKED ON MY HEART, which, feeling this, began to break. Open for Christ or leave the door closed so that Fatih does not run away? And so on the day of our engagement, I, all in some doubts, took the brochure “The Christian Woman” from my mother’s shelf. After reading it, I was filled with such happiness that I am a woman! Christian woman, what a high rank, what a high role she has! After all, Christ became incarnate in the Virgin Mary. Through a woman Salvation came to the world! Ah, that's how it really is. I saw submission to the head of the family in a completely different light. Because in Christianity there is a concept of humility... Reading this book gave me the courage to finally marry Fatih. The engagement was modest. My parents weren't there. By the way, about them. Mom patiently endured my suffering all this time, and dad lost his daughter in me. Only when I returned to Christ again did he say that it felt like I had been away for several years and then I came back. He was very worried. After getting engaged, nothing changed. We didn’t live together, I don’t even know why. That's how it happened. However, I started reading Christian books again, including this site (“Orthodoxy and Islam”). I started to rethink something.
Then I invited Fatih to move in with me. We lived together for about a month. This time was very difficult. I was sitting with my mother (she lives nearby) and was afraid of Fatih coming home, because he wanted me to sit at home. Fatih, in turn, was afraid to come home to this atmosphere of fear and anxiety. I talked to the priest. He advised me to start gradually conveying to Fatih that I cannot be a Muslim. I started from afar. Soon Fatih left for Turkey for 2 months. While he was away, I took a sip of freedom and realized that I couldn’t go on like this. We talked on the Internet, and I said more and more directly that maybe Islam is not my path. He persuaded me to come to Turkey. There we often quarreled, and I realized more and more that we couldn’t go on like this. Fatih accused me of many shortcomings, and I agreed with him. I really saw all my depravity and sinfulness, selfishness and pride, and much more. But how could I fix this? After all, Islam had no answers to this! Islam tells you what you should do, but it doesn't tell you what to do if it doesn't work out. And Christ came to earth and took upon himself all our sins. And if only we turn to Him and pray to Him for the eradication of sins, and partake of His Holy Blood and Most Pure Body, then transformation will gradually take place.
What good is it to me if they tell me “do” or “don’t do.” I'm weak. And so, after another quarrel, I told Fatih that I see no other way out but to become a Christian. I can't change in better side in Islam, but he wants me to change for the better. Since then we have not stopped parting. First, he gave me time to think about whether this is really what I want. I flew to Germany, and a few days later he arrived. He came not to me, but to his parents, and began to live with them for now. Meanwhile, I placed an icon in the apartment and brought a couple of Orthodox books. When he came to me, he asked what I had decided. He saw the answer in the form of an icon. He left immediately. He said that he would pick up the things later. A few days later I went to church for the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross. He called me on my mobile and told me to be home right away because he wanted to pick up my things. I said that I couldn’t, because today was a big holiday. Then he just came to church. I had never seen him in such irritation before, he forced me to go with him. He told me something like this: “I found out from knowledgeable people, it turns out that I have no right to be married to you if you are a Christian, according to Sharia it is prohibited (meaning my apostasy). Become a Muslim, or we will part forever. And now your life means nothing, every Muslim is allowed to kill you.”
That evening and several more times I gave in to persuasion. I tried to convince Fatih that I was neither a Christian nor a Muslim, because I no longer knew what to believe. I seemed to find myself between two religions. Of course, all this was just a continuation of betrayal towards Christ. Fatih could not part with me forever, and we either quarreled or made up. He blamed me for everything, he scolded me for sacrificing the impossible to him (my faith). Each time he left me forever and each time he returned. Meanwhile, I became more and more churchgoer, confessed and received communion. Regarding the fact that according to Sharia he has no right to be married to me, he said that this turned out to be unreliable information, and he continued to look at me as his wife. By that time I had calmed down completely. The hysterics stopped immediately after I decided to leave Islam, although the situations were very conducive to mental imbalance. Our relationship was leading to a dead end, and we knew it. But they couldn’t find the strength to leave. We celebrated the third anniversary of our relationship and soon learned that our marriage was invalid, since it is automatically annulled if one of the spouses falls away from the faith. And now for the umpteenth time we parted. Previously, it was only Fatih, but now I decided to help him, because I suddenly realized that it was selfish to keep him to myself, since our relationship is a sin for him. And I tried to break up with him. But it didn't work out. All this is very difficult, he feels something in me that makes him unable to forget me. Even if we don’t see each other for a week, it’s unbearable for him.
And how many times did the Lord answer my prayers about him with the words of the Gospel: “And if you ask the Father anything in My name, I will do it, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son” (John 14:13) and “whatever you ask in prayer in faith, you will receive” (Matthew 21:22). I know that the Lord loves him too, and if he loves him, then, of course, he wishes his salvation. Since I began to pray for him, he seems to suffer even more. Expensive things are constantly stolen from him or he loses them (including a mobile phone and a motorcycle), he asks me to pray for him. And I pray and believe in God’s mercy, as well as in Fatih’s intuition. Sooner or later he must feel and then understand where the truth is and where the lie is. Where is God's mercy and grace, and where is the coldness of Sharia laws and the black and white vision of the world.
And there is still no person dearer to him, we understand each other without words, despite everything. Now, when I became a church member as much as I could, when I again knew the love of Christ, even to death, for me, the last traitor, I understood a lot about Islam. I now know that in the visible purity of the faces of devout Muslim women there is emptiness. Once, while reading Said Nursi’s book “The Miracles of Muhammad,” I noticed a certain lack of spirituality in these miracles. I remember, for example, how the prophet had to go to the toilet and for this purpose nature lined up in such a way that it seemed to block him from people. And the fact that many of the miracles were performed during the war against the infidels shocked me. Are only miracles important? The Prophet performed some miracles and at the same time killed infidel after infidel, not sparing the lives of people, which are holy! And during the first sermon of the Apostle Peter, about 3,000 people were converted, without any violence, with only weapons - a word filled with the Holy Spirit. If Christian martyrs testified to their faith, then Muslims testified by killing others. Is the Spirit of God here, is grace here? If the Koran says: “Both the adulteress and the adulterer, flog each of them with a hundred lashes. For the sake of the faith of Allah, do not be overwhelmed by pity for them, if you believe in Allah and the Day of Judgment. And when they are punished, let a certain number of believers be witnesses” (24:2), then in the Gospel it is completely the opposite: when “they brought to Him a woman taken in adultery... He... said to them: He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to cast her stone... And when, being convicted by their conscience, everyone dispersed, he said: I do not condemn you; go and sin no more” (John 8:3-11). Much of this can be found if you read the Koran and the Gospel. Praise God for His mercy towards sinners. I am one of them, but I feel His love for me every day. May God grant you all complete joy!”
