• How to survive depression after a miscarriage in early or late pregnancy: help and advice from a psychologist. Life after miscarriage. How to find strength in yourself

    04.03.2020

    The psychological state of a woman who has had a miscarriage cannot be described in a few words. You are experiencing a huge loss. And it is all the more difficult because it happened unexpectedly. You can’t prepare for grief in advance, especially when it’s the loss of a baby. You are crushed by the loss and feel unbearable pain, the world has shattered into a thousand pieces, everything has lost its meaning, your dreams have collapsed. There is only one question left: “Why?”

    I don’t want anything: I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to sleep, I don’t want to talk. Severe sadness, guilt and despair overwhelm you. It seems that you yourself are destroyed and your old life will never return. You feel loneliness like never before. Sometimes you feel like you're going crazy...

    Recovering from a difficult loss is one of the most difficult tasks. You have to recreate yourself and your future. This path is very difficult and requires persistence and faith. Sometimes it seems to you that all your efforts are in vain, but this is not so.

    Don't hide your grief

    There are so many ways grief can manifest itself in so many people in the world. However, there are several characteristic stages of bereavement that everyone goes through.

    The first reaction is shock. For hours or even days after a terrible event, you may be in a daze and practically not react to others, or, conversely, be hysterical. In any case, later it will be difficult for you to remember what happened to you then, who was nearby, etc. Remember one thing: ANY reaction you have is natural and normal. It’s good to have a reliable person nearby who can silently hug you, stay close to you, and take care of you. During this period, it is better to limit your social life; you should not make important decisions with an eye on the future.

    When the shock ends, it gradually comes awareness of loss and with it - pain. This is the most difficult stage of experiencing grief. Depression, despair, feelings of emptiness and guilt set in. During this period, almost everyone experiences insomnia, loss of appetite, weakness, exhaustion, and inability to do usual things. It's hard to believe, but this is a normal reaction to what happened.

    When awareness of loss comes, psychologists advise talking about your grief. Tell anyone who will listen, don't isolate yourself. It is very important not to be ashamed of your tears. Cry! In order to recover and continue living a full life, you must let the tears flow. Your experiences are a tribute of love to the unborn baby, mourning hopes and everything that was so dear to you. Don't be ashamed of your feelings! There is no prudence in grief, so the last thing to do would be to feel embarrassed about the fact that “tears are a sign of weakness” and “I shouldn’t cry in public.” Tears are a sign of healing, not weakness!

    Give other people, non-relatives, the opportunity to support you. Let it be friends, colleagues, neighbors, a priest or someone else. Many people don’t know what to say in such a situation, but it doesn’t matter. It is important that they are nearby. Tell this to everyone who supports you. The best help at this moment can be provided by those who have themselves experienced the loss of a child in the past and coped with their grief.

    Time cures

    Most frequently asked question, which you ask yourself: “Why? Is this a punishment? There is only one answer to this question: “NO.” You are not to blame for anything. Bad things happen to everyone, and no one is immune from loss. Even the best and most worthy of us. Grief does not choose. It comes because we live in an imperfect world. What happened happened, but loss does not detract from life.

    Believe that your grief has an end. You will cope and return to full life. But you are responsible for your own recovery. You need to work on your feelings. No one can take your grief and bring you back to life again, even the most understanding and caring people. The statement “time heals” is not entirely complete. The cure is time and - necessarily - work on yourself.

    At some turning point, the question “Why?” will be replaced by the question “How to live further? How to overcome the grief of loss? This means that you accept new life. You definitely need to help yourself. Where to start?

    Psychologist Bob Date, who has worked with bereaved people for many years, advises writing the following statements on several pieces of paper:

    1. "My grief will end."
    2. “I won’t always feel the way I do now.”
    3. "I'm doing everything well."
    4. “I will overcome the loss as others have done.”

    Attach one piece of paper to the refrigerator, another to the bathroom mirror, the third near the bed, and put another one in your purse or wallet. Every time you look at these pieces of paper, read the words out loud until you learn them by heart, then in moments of deep sadness they themselves will sound within you.

    Take care of your health

    1. Think about what your health was like before your miscarriage occurred. Be sure to visit the necessary specialists, get tested and follow all doctor’s orders.
    2. Watch your diet. Food may not be of any interest to you right now, but you need strength. Variety and quality of food is what is needed. Set regular times for meals and snacks. Drink plenty of fluids to avoid dehydration. Monitor your weight (if you notice significant changes, consult a doctor).
    3. Do not abuse coffee and alcohol under any circumstances! Better take a multivitamin.
    4. Stick to your normal daily routine. In the evening go to bed at usual time, even if you don’t feel like sleeping at all. Avoid large, regular doses of sleeping pills.

    It is worth talking about one very important point regarding your health. One of the main reasons for the loss of a child is various “problems” (hormonal, metabolic, anatomical, etc.) in a woman’s body that prevent her from bearing a baby. Therefore, you should definitely ask your doctor what exactly caused the miscarriage (we are, of course, not talking about tragic accidents: injuries, falls, poisoning, etc.). If your condition does not allow you to touch on this painful topic now, then let one of your close relatives or friends, a sober person whom you trust, take care of medical issues. Do not delay finding out the reasons for what happened.

    If you make this visit to the doctor yourself, then, first of all, prepare yourself psychologically: calm down, collect yourself. Write down all the questions you want to ask the doctor in a notebook in advance and do not hesitate to use it, because in a stressful situation you should not rely on your memory. It is also better to write down the doctor’s answers immediately. As you know, a dull pencil is better than a sharp memory. If during a conversation with the doctor something is not clear to you, do not hesitate to ask again or clarify, since we are talking about the most important things. It is your right to know what happened to you in order to prevent the misfortune from happening again.

    Monitor your condition

    Daily journaling can be an important step in psychological recovery. Each entry must include the following information:

    1. Date Time.
    2. What important happened today?
    3. Who did you meet today?
    4. What changes do you observe in yourself?
    5. Your plans for tomorrow. It is better to make notes in the evening, at the end of the day.

    At the beginning of each week, answer the following questions on a separate sheet of journal:

    1. What do you need to do this week?
    2. What's stopping you from doing this?
    3. Whose help might you need?
    4. What would you like to do next month?
    5. What spiritual resources do you need to find in yourself in order to live on?

    Journal your progress towards each of your goals. Replace goals that are impossible to achieve in practice with realistic ones. Treat yourself more tolerantly (but not condescendingly!), don’t demand too much from yourself. After a month, review the initial entries in your journal. You will see that your condition has changed in better side. You might even be surprised at how far you've come on your mental recovery journey during this time.

    Master Relaxation Skills

    In order to learn to relax and calm down, learn a few simple but effective breathing exercises.

    1. Lie comfortably on the floor on your back; you can place rolled towels under your knees and lower back. Close your eyes. Exhale.
    2. Slowly counting to four, inhale, first filling your stomach with air, then - chest. Hold your breath as you inhale and count to four.
    3. Exhale slowly to a count of four. In this case, first draw in your stomach, and then lower your ribs, exhaling the air from your lungs. Before you take your next breath, count to four again.

    When you feel the strength and desire, think about changing your wardrobe or doing a little home renovation. Maybe you want to go on a trip to visit those places where you have long wanted to go, but couldn’t?

    A new pregnancy is most likely not at all what you are thinking about right now. Nevertheless, she will. There will be anticipation, excitement, heart-stopping. But all this will happen somehow differently, and, most importantly, you will be completely different. Therefore you it is necessary to understand and internally psychologically accept reasons why this pregnancy ended in miscarriage. It is known that many women in such a situation are inclined to react with accusations. They either blame themselves (they didn’t eat right, worked a lot, didn’t get treatment regularly), or other people (inattentive doctors, always busy husband, selfish mother-in-law, boss, etc.). Even if not immediately, it is necessary to abandon such a view of the situation. This is not easy, and may even seem completely impossible. But this step must be taken, and it is the result of a lot of meaningful work on oneself.

    Do not think that the purpose of these tips is to help you “forget” the loss, to “leap over” it. What you experience will change you and will remain a part of your life forever. But we must remember that such misfortune, if you meet it face to face, can turn out to be creative. You have lost a lot, but you have also gained a lot. You have become stronger and wiser. You understand others better and have been able to shift your attention from everyday trifles to the sacred side of life.

    Almost all women who experience a miscarriage subsequently become happy mothers of healthy babies - and this is a completely indisputable fact. Be sure to remember that your life goes on, and it is as fulfilling as before.

    The appearance of at least one of these symptoms indicates the need to seek help from a specialist (according to B. Dates):

    1. Persistent thoughts of suicide, auto-aggression.
    2. Inability to provide yourself with the most necessary things.
    3. Avoidance of friends and family, lifestyle changes.
    4. Depression that lasted for many months.
    5. Abuse of medications, alcohol, food. Narcotization.
    6. Mental disorder (hallucinations, anxiety).

    The loss of a child is a huge stress for any woman, because when carrying a child, she puts a piece of her soul into it, dreams about its future, and becomes mentally attached to it. Miscarriage disrupts mental and emotional condition women, causes severe psychological trauma. This is nothing more than the loss of a close, blood person, which is experienced very difficult.

    Strong apathy towards everything, sadness, despair, reluctance to eat, sleep, talk - these are the main and not all symptoms that a woman experiences after the loss of a child. It’s hard to realize that while carrying a small fetus inside, giving it care, talking, coming up with a name, you can lose it forever.

    During this extremely difficult period in a woman’s life, it is important to have support from loved ones who will not abandon her. Hard time, but they will support and help you survive the loss.

    Don't hide your grief

    In the first days after the incident, the woman will experience either deep shock and unawareness that this happened to her, or deep hysteria. Now it is very important to have loved one, who will reassure and monitor her, since deep depression can lead to suicidal thoughts. During this period, you cannot make important decisions that could affect your future fate, since your emotional state is unstable and this can lead to adverse consequences.

    After numbness, pain and awareness of loss will come over time - the hardest time, when there is no strength for anything, most thoughts are only about the child, feelings of guilt and devastation are completely stuck in the head. Now psychologists recommend not to keep everything to yourself, but to talk with people about grief, share emotions and experiences, after which it always becomes easier. It is worth talking with those who have experienced the same loss and share all the feelings and emotions, share their experience in overcoming overwhelming emotions and depressive states.

    The pain goes away

    Constant thoughts about grief and loss will always haunt you if you don’t calm yourself down and analyze the situation. You need to understand that it will definitely get better with time and the pain will not be so unbearable and depressing, the experience will be forgotten, although a residue will remain.

    Time will heal wounds, but not so quickly. Working on yourself and your thoughts will help you cope with this psychological trauma. It is very important to repeat every day many times as a mantra: that everything will be fine, this is not forever, no one is to blame, etc. Thus, with any immersion in a negative state, it is necessary to accustom yourself to think about something else, to tune your spirit to thoughts that give hope and allow you to live on. Only working on your thoughts and returning them to a positive direction will help you stop feeling the pain so acutely.

    Taking care of your health

    To restore your health and be able to become a mother again, it is very important to take care of yourself and your health. Of course, your thoughts won’t immediately come to order on their own and you won’t have the strength to think about the next pregnancy either, but there is only one life - you need to love your body and support it. Troubles and losses always happen to people, because the world is imperfect and everyone experiences losses, so you need to pull yourself together and continue to live.

    The first step is to adjust your diet and sleep patterns, drink more water, take vitamins, healthy image life. Such losses completely reconfigure the body, giving reason to wonder what went wrong, maybe the reason is in the body, which could not withstand pregnancy. It's worth going to the doctor and getting it done necessary tests, which will show all the disruptions in the body that led to the miscarriage.

    It is very important to monitor your body, because the main goal after such an incident is to quickly get out of a depressed state and restore wasted energy. Most often, women who have lost a child feel a sense of guilt, thinking that they should have worked less and eaten better, or blame others - doctors (they examined or treated them incorrectly), husband (always at work, did not devote time), mother-in-law (quarrels, swearing). ) etc.

    Recovery due to these factors may take a large number of time, so the first thing you need to do is get rid of them. No one is to blame for what happened, and even if there is guilt, nothing can be changed anyway. Accusations can only ruin the nerves of yourself and those around you. Own life and health is the most valuable thing a person has, it is important to realize this and make it your motto of your life. If the situation cannot be changed in any way, then there is no point in thinking “what if.”

    After a miscarriage, women approach their next pregnancies more responsibly, taking care of their health, both physical and psychological. Unfortunately, sometimes you cannot do without bitter experience, but it exists to make expectant mother stronger in your intentions and stronger. Millions of girls become pregnant after losing a child and live happily raising their children.

    Becoming a mother is happiness for a woman. This is a way to succeed in life, to make your feminine contribution to the development of humanity. Unfortunately, there are often challenges and pitfalls along the path to motherhood. One of the difficult situations is spontaneous abortion at different dates(miscarriage).

    According to statistics, about 15-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriages, most of which occur in the early stages. However, statistics and medical diagnoses are just the tip of the iceberg. Most of the problem is hidden from prying eyes. The psychological state of a woman who has suffered a miscarriage is a more serious issue than most ordinary people can imagine.

    Depression after miscarriage

    Losing a child is a serious trauma for any woman. Long waiting, planning, desirability, number of attempts to get pregnant, atmosphere in the family, circumstances that preceded the onset of pregnancy (long-awaited and not). All this is an additional burden that drives a woman into depression as deeply as it is great. The main button for turning on a depressive state is the fact that we don’t talk about it. Because now it’s not fashionable for a woman to complain.


    Standard answers from uninterested outsiders:

    • “So what, you’ll give birth again.”
    • “You already have children, it’s for the best.”
    • “Where should you give birth - you don’t have a husband/money/car/apartment/brains” - underline what is necessary.

    Millions more similar cynical, heartless phrases could be added. Every word in them is a knife in the heart of a wounded soul. A defensive reaction kicks in: it’s better to remain silent.

    The instability of the condition is aggravated by the failure of the hormonal balance in the body; the woman is “stormy” day and night. It takes you to extremes: from tears to hysterical laughter, from the need to forget yourself, to be alone, to an irresistible desire to never be left alone with your grief. In fact, even loved ones who supposedly want to help can cause harm with their overprotection.

    You need to get out of the created abyss of emptiness, but not abruptly and not through extremes, but gradually, experiencing grief and accepting yourself with your emotions. Fencing off from outside pseudo-help, realizing that loved ones and loving people those who are nearby sincerely sympathize and also feel the loss.

    Dear reader!

    This article talks about typical ways to solve your issues, but each case is unique! If you want to know how to solve your particular problem, ask your question. It's fast and free!

    Given the general attitude of ignoring psychological state After the loss of a child at different stages of pregnancy, not everyone will be able to properly help and guide the woman on the path to recovery. In such a situation, ready-made recommendations from a qualified psychologist who knows how to competently organize a treatment course to get out of a depressive state will be very useful.

    Don't keep your emotions to yourself

    After some time, when the state of passion passes, the bodily wounds that were the result of a spontaneous abortion in the early stages have healed a little, the woman will look around and, perhaps, will not find someone who will listen to her. We need to try to find it. Simply speaking the problem out loud is a huge step towards relief.


    Time cures

    The realization that life goes on is also a lifeline for a woman drowning in emotions and her own hormones. You just need to realize this, and if it doesn’t work out on your own, turn to the first point. Talk to someone who will help you really feel the fluidity of time and the variability of situations and situations.

    Time heals - that's a fact. However, such an axiom does not mean that one must get rid of painful sensations and memories at any cost. Just trying to forget is a waste of mental resources. From a psychological point of view, it would be correct to say: experience, accept and let go. This takes time, but most often there is no hurry.

    Take care of your physical health

    The next step on the path to healing is to shift your attention. It is absolutely logical to take care of your physical health right now. It is very important to distinguish the difference: not by looking for the cause of the miscarriage, but by the state of your health.

    Pregnancy is a capacious process that requires energy expenditure and an almost complete restructuring of the body’s functioning mode. Interrupted ahead of schedule process as a sharp braking of the mechanism. Such an unnatural “stop” causes damage to women’s health.

    Hormonal imbalance, blood loss, broken cycles, endocrine problems, all kinds of inflammatory processes and weakened immunity - a complete set that requires special attention. It's time to show self-love - you are alone. The practical side is no less important: it is necessary to improve the functioning of the body so that next time everything will turn out differently.


    Monitor your condition

    Listen to yourself. This point also refers to healthy egoism, which is life-saving in this situation. In the context of the terrible loss of a child at an early or later Pregnancy is worth listening to yourself, your body, your thoughts and experiences. This is not about self-examination, it’s about basic self-awareness. You need to try to look at yourself from the outside.

    It's good if it's possible free time. Being alone with yourself is the next step on the path to recovery. Try to turn off the so-called “white noise” - social networks, spammy information portals, stupid, empty conversations. The exhausted subconscious requires such a reboot. Because a miscarriage is not only physical, but also mental trauma. The soul and body are able to heal themselves, just listen to yourself.

    Learn to relax

    This stage is quite difficult for those who are trying to cope with depression on their own. Ideally, it is better to start learning relaxation skills as soon as you become a conscious adult. Distance yourself and abstract yourself from the problem, so as not to be drawn into the gray everyday life of self-flagellation, regrets and soul-searching.

    It sounds harsh, but it's a fact. The irreparable has happened, and no one can change it. This means you need to relax and go with the flow instead of resisting with all your might. Otherwise, the energy reserve will be spent not on recovery, but on worsening the depressive state.


    Any techniques designed to relax the body and mind will do. Yoga, breathing exercises, meditation. Some lifestyle changes will also have a positive effect on your state of mind. Morning jogging, reading, music classes, handicrafts, drawing, sports training - whatever suits everyone's liking. The main criterion: the hobby must really bring pleasure and distract from obsessive thoughts.

    When is the best time to seek help from a professional psychologist?

    Physiological recovery after a spontaneous abortion takes 3 to 6 months. During this time it returns to normal hormonal background, the body enters a normal mode of operation, all traces of a developing and suddenly interrupted pregnancy disappear. By this time, the woman should have time to go through all the stages of independent recovery of her state of mind. Starting with awareness and speaking, ending with acceptance and complete balance.

    What to do if the state of absolute apathy towards everything and chronic fatigue became the norm, addiction to food, drugs, alcohol appeared, sedatives and other substances? Do you have a desire to avoid everyone around you, nightmares do not stop, anxiety has increased, and pessimistic moods have become a way of life after a miscarriage? This means you definitely can’t do it without the help of a specialist. Remember, depression is a disease that needs to be treated.

    If the symptoms of depression do not go away or one of the stages is not completed successfully, do not put it off for a long time, it is better to consult a doctor. Forget about the stereotypical social label that only disabled people go to psychologists. This is not so, in fact, a psychologist is a specialist who can push to a way out that is not visible behind the wall of misunderstanding of others, their indifference and their own confusion.

    There are few people you can discuss this topic with. “Miscarriage” - and the word is somehow unpleasant, as if we are talking not about a dead unborn child, but about something inanimate, or about a process. But many women have this painful experience, and they don’t know how to talk about it.

    Miscarriage happens for various reasons: hormonal disbalance, genetic disorder, severe stress, sudden illness. But the horror that covers a pregnant woman when she feels sharp pain, sees blood and finds out that her unborn child is no more - it is the same for everyone. Even if the pregnancy was unwanted, even if the miscarriage was provoked, all the same, a loss is a loss. The depth and power of emotions may differ, but not their quality. And then the woman’s experiences develop according to a universal law called “experience of loss/trauma.”

    At first it’s shock and complete denial: “No, this can’t be, I don’t want it, no, not this!” Normally, this stage takes a few minutes. If more, “stuck” occurs; the woman may resist assistance and insist that nothing happened. These are manifestations of a state of shock; doctors usually treat it with injections of sleeping pills.

    The next stage is active, acute grief. At this moment, loved ones should try to refrain from consolation, let you cry, express your grief in tears and words. Unfortunately, in our culture the traditions of joint grief, when crying and grief are supported by loved ones, have almost been lost. The simplest thing is to be nearby, assent, cry together - mourn the loss. Instead, the family begins to reassure the woman, interrupting the strong emotional reaction: “Calm down, everything will be fine, you are still young, you will give birth again. Yes, it wasn’t a child at all, just like a pea, you couldn’t see it without a microscope!”

    But for the failed mother, this lump of mucus was already endowed with all the qualities of a living child, dreams and expectations were associated with it, a name had already been invented for it, gifts and joint walks were imagined. And now he is gone, and will never be again. This is a very strong and tragic experience of death, of what could have been, but did not happen. And by speaking comforting words, relatives, in fact, devalue both the loss itself and the woman’s feelings about this.

    Irina, lost her long-awaited child at 8 weeks: “For me, the strangest thing was the reaction of my husband and mother-in-law. They didn't react at all. As if nothing had happened, as if this child had nothing to do with them. I cried day and night, my husband consoled me as best he could, but he himself didn’t seem to worry at all. This was his first child, and, as it turned out later, he simply did not understand what the word “miscarriage” meant. And my mother-in-law was on medication after a stroke, and she had little interest in the outside world. But for me it was wild and offensive.”

    Sometimes grief cannot break through cultural or family prohibitions, the woman becomes “frozen,” distant, indifferent. This state is much more dangerous than any open manifestation of feelings. That is, it is better when a woman cries and complains about the injustice of fate than when she lies silently, turning to the wall. It would be nice to help her cry at this moment in any way. Sometimes it's enough to just sit quietly next to each other.

    After acute grief comes the stage of acceptance and depression. The woman comes to terms with the fact of the loss of her child, but continues to mourn her, although less intensely. Sometimes during this period women talk about a change in the speed of time, everything seems to slow down, and life flows by, as if through a fog, sounds reach dully. The intensity of the experiences and their duration depend on how long the miscarriage occurred, as well as how much mental strength was invested in fantasies about the child, how significant he was for the mother. If this stage drags on for longer than two to three weeks, it is highly advisable to seek help from a psychologist or neurologist.

    Extremely intense or incomplete grief can become an obstacle to subsequent pregnancies: the fear of experiencing the pain of loss again can block conception and be one of the causes of psychological infertility.

    One of the specific reactions to any loss is a feeling of guilt towards the one who left. On a rational level, we all understand that, for example, we cannot arbitrarily regulate our hormonal levels, but a powerful feeling of guilt - that we couldn’t, didn’t save, didn’t cope - floods everything.

    Karina, third non-developing pregnancy: “Although I didn’t want this child, at some point I just became hysterical: what kind of life is so absurd that we cannot give birth to all our children. And why don't I have the strength to do this? After all, he probably wanted to be born with us, but I couldn’t keep him. And as luck would have it, everywhere you look there are advertisements for children’s products, some pregnant women are walking down the street, two friends are pregnant. I always feel guilty: I couldn’t hold back, I could have strained myself, but I didn’t want to.”

    For men, the experience of a miscarriage can be suppressed, they “hold on” and do not show their emotions, but they can manifest themselves in dreams, in unexpected tears at the sight of advertising baby food, in a surge of tenderness for children. But sometimes the husband feels rejected, especially when the couple is prescribed “sexual rest” after surgery. In the Russian tradition, they generally try not to involve men in the details of a woman’s inner life, so what’s left is a confused and unhappy dad, who doesn’t really understand what’s happening, who also feels guilty, he’s angry because he can’t help. At this moment, spouses need to support each other more than ever and talk about everything that is happening: “I’m terribly sad, stay with me! You are not to blame for anything - and neither am I. Let's forgive ourselves and move on with our lives."

    After the misfortune has occurred, some time may pass, sometimes quite a long time, before the couple dares to repeat the experiment with the birth of a child. All sorts of “objective” circumstances may arise that prevent conception: this month I was sick, and next month my husband went on a business trip just during the period of expected ovulation, or the spouses quarrel, seemingly out of nowhere.

    This couple came to see me after a miscarriage following a complex and expensive IVF procedure. They are both “closer to 40 than 30”; they have made careers and experienced divorces in their first student marriages. They are confused and angry: how can this be, they tried so hard, did everything right, paid a lot of money. It seems that for them a child is one of their business tasks. But their grief is sincere, and they treat each other very carefully, kindly, support and console.

    I gave them an exercise in the technique of projective drawings. The result was unexpected: it turned out that both of them... were afraid of losing the love and attention of their partner. That is, the child in their close relationship is subconsciously perceived as a hindrance, a competitor, practically as younger brother or sister.

    We were able to express and work through their difficult-to-discuss feelings. They assured each other that they mutual love is unchanged, and the birth of a child will only bring closer and strengthen their family. I asked them to draw a picture “Our ideal family” - a kind of “programming for success.” Now their twins are one and a half years old.

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    Did you know that after a miscarriage you should consult your doctor?

    In most cases, the causes of miscarriage remain unknown.

    Distribution of risks of miscarriage

    Experiencing such an event for a couple can be extremely painful. It takes some time for a person to recover mentally and physically after a sudden termination of pregnancy. In this article, a consultant gynecologist shares information that all couples who have experienced a miscarriage should know. First of all, don't panic: you are not the only one who has encountered this problem. And a miscarriage does not mean that you will not be able to conceive and carry to term. healthy child . Many women after they had an experience spontaneous miscarriage

    Put off trying to get pregnant again for a while

    Some recent studies have indicated that even immediately after a miscarriage it is possible to plan new pregnancy without fear of complications. Even though this is possible, doctors still think it's wise to stick to the three-month rule before planning to conceive again. During this time, the uterus will have time to recover, and your body will have time to prepare for bearing a new baby. The risk of a second miscarriage is 14%, a third – 26%, and a fourth – 28%.

    Therefore, it is wise to give your body time to recover and replenish its strength. In addition, during this period you can help your body prepare for pregnancy by following a diet, taking vitamins and refusing bad habits- all this will increase your chances of conceiving a healthy baby. Some experts even recommend waiting 6 months before trying to get pregnant. It is also recommended to consult a doctor before planning a new pregnancy.

    Get a medical examination

    Often, a miscarriage signals certain disorders in the body of a woman or man. If you have a sudden miscarriage, tell your doctor and get a thorough examination. Your partner also needs an examination, since in 40% of cases of spontaneous abortion, spermatogenesis disorders are detected. It is important to know why you had a miscarriage if you are planning to conceive in the future. The reasons for miscarriage can be varied: chromosomal abnormalities, immunological problems, uterine fibroids, folic acid deficiency.

    Possible causes of miscarriage

    AnatomicalCongenital malformationsComplete duplication of the uterus, bicornuate, saddle-shaped, unicornuate uterus, partial or complete intrauterine septum.
    PurchasedIntrauterine synechiae (Asherman's syndrome), submucous uterine fibroids, ICI, adenomyosis, endometriosis.
    InfectiousBacterial viral colonization of the endometriumChronic endometritis.
    GeneticChromosome changeStructural: intrachromosomal, interchromosomal.
    Quantitative: monosomy, trisomy, polyploidy.
    EndocrineNLFInferior folliculogenesis caused by hyperprolactinemia, hyperandrogenism, hypothyroidism; impaired secretion of FSH and/or LH.
    HyperandrogenismAdrenal origin, ovarian origin, mixed.
    ThrombophilicGenetically determined thrombophiliasAntithrombin III deficiency, factor V mutation (Leiden mutation), protein C deficiency, protein S deficiency, prothrombin gene mutation G20210A, MTHFR gene mutation leading to hyperhomocysteinemia.
    ImmunologicalAutoimmuneThe presence of autoimmune antibodies in the blood (to thyroperoxidase, thyroglobulin, hCG, etc.); antiphospholipid syndrome.
    AlloimmunePresence of common MHC (HLA factor) with her husband

    A detailed medical examination is necessary to determine the cause of the miscarriage and treat it, which will help you become pregnant again and carry the child to term without any complications. In no case should you blame yourself or your partner if during the examination one of you is diagnosed with a disease - you did not know about it, and therefore could not foresee that everything would turn out this way. But now you have the opportunity to take control of the situation and avoid a repeat of what happened.

    Go for a consultation with a psychologist

    The loss of a child is a very difficult time for a family, and in some cases can lead to relationship problems or long-term depression. After what happened, you may find that it has become difficult for you to communicate with your husband, or you have simply withdrawn into yourself. Therefore, to avoid such problems, couples are advised to consult a psychologist and, if necessary, undergo therapy that will help them cope with the loss and ultimately take control of the situation.

    Depression can interfere with a woman's ability to carry out daily activities.

    In addition, the condition may worsen if a woman immediately after a miscarriage begins to try to conceive a child again. Stress and depression can negatively affect the development of a child in the womb if she becomes pregnant without coping with the loss of her previous baby. Therefore, do not waste time and money on a specialist who will help you avoid these problems.

    Have a rest

    Although it may sound like a cliché, rest is essential in situations like these. The more you rest, the faster you recover physically and psychologically. Rest should be like a medicine for you that you cannot do without. Do something that interests you: read positive books that will help you distract yourself, draw, start studying new language or go on a trip for a quick change of scenery.

    July 27, 2017 Author admin

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