The twenty-first century is a period of new communication technologies. Imagine life without mobile phone Now it’s simply impossible, when some ten or twelve years ago not everyone could boast of having an ultra-fashionable new gadget.
We are silent for the World Wide Web. It seems as if there is an unspoken postulate among the people that “every self-respecting person is simply obliged to have a computer with an Internet connection at home.” The other side of the matter is that it no longer concerns you. It should, period. Don't know how to use it? Let's teach! Do not want? There is no such word - “I don’t want” - they said, it’s necessary, so it’s necessary!
I'm looking for someone to give my soul and heart to - Online Club
No wonder that people of the old school consider the World Wide Web “an unprecedented, strange, dangerous beast”. In an age when all sorts of stories leak out on TV every now and then, this is natural. Quite natural and not surprising. But there is also back side medals...
Everyone knows that nowadays love as such no longer exists. There are rare exceptions, but they are also lost in the mass of disappointments and sad relationship experiences. “He left me with my stomach!”; “I found out that he is married, he has a family!”, “Another acquaintance ended in failure!” - how often have you heard these phrases, and perhaps even uttered them yourself, scolding your failed lover in your hearts with all the words that came to mind! Unfortunately, this fact is a common phenomenon, but let’s compare Orthodoxy and the Internet.
If you are interested in Orthodox life, you probably know that at this stage, basically all monasteries, not only Moscow and Moscow Region, have their own websites, but most priests have their own pages on social networks and actively promote them. By entering “Father Online” into the search engine, we will receive more than a dozen active pages created by confessors, where we can learn a lot of interesting things about the life of a particular parish, and most importantly, get answers to many questions that interest us. The Internet, without even noticing it, has become firmly entrenched in our lives, and now it is not just a waste of effort, time and money, but active territory carrying information to the masses.
In other words, it is a way of socializing people, giving them knowledge, which is often enough to adequately answer one or another question.
Creating a family and finding a loved one in an online club
Initially, the Orthodox dating site “Svetelka” was created for people living in Moscow and the Moscow region. Now it has become so popular that people are leaving their personal information not only those living in Russia, but also abroad. Looking through recent profiles, you can see residents of Ukraine and even Serbia. Isn't this an indicator that things are really producing results? Hearts merge together, soaring in a dance of love, music and understanding. At the moment, the online club contains about 35 thousand advertisements.
Men and women, of different age categories, different nationalities, statuses and positions in society, are similar in one thing - they are looking for their destiny to create a strong family. Long and painstakingly, sometimes stumbling and stumbling, risking their feelings, they are unshakable in their faith. Faith in a happy accident and faith that the All-Merciful Lord, Father, Teacher of our lost souls, will not leave us. What will illuminate the path of life with a bright, unquenchable light will definitely help, calm and console, giving the most important thing in life - love, peace, prosperity, and most importantly - reciprocity and confidence that we are loved.
Why is it necessary to create a profile in an online club?
- The Svetelka website is for those who want to be sure of tomorrow…
- He considers creating his own family to be an important meaning of his life...
- Who wants to gain faith in God and the Orthodox path...
“I command you this, that you love one another.” God commanded man not to be alone. Therefore, Orthodox people strive for spiritual communication with the opposite sex belonging to their religion. Our website has a great mission to unite people's hearts for Serious relationships. And in such matters, religiosity and belonging to a particular confession play a significant role. Moscow is a city of Orthodox Russian people, and therefore it is here that it is important to find a chaste soul mate. And not only Moscow - Orthodox dating is important in any city.
We have developed a section “Dating for Orthodox Christians” especially for Orthodox Christians. Here you can meet Orthodox girls and guys for serious relationships and create a marriage pleasing to the Almighty. May the Lord be with you!
What task do we set for ourselves?
This section “Orthodox Dating” is intended for everyone who considers it their duty to fulfill the Christian commandments, or strives to fulfill them. Our website (Moscow) has set itself the task of protecting the simple and humble souls of Orthodox people from:
- Fornication;
- Violence;
- Perversions;
- Prostitution.
This is all from Satan and therefore should not desecrate the chaste acquaintances and spiritual communication of Orthodox Christians. After all, only love, as pure as possible from temptations and vices, can illuminate this world. Moscow is full not only of goodness, but also of hatred, greed, and love of money. And the task of Christians is to unite, create strong families and, by doing good, eradicate evil. This is why purposefully Orthodox dating is needed.
We want to ask you
We are all Orthodox believers. Our site does not tolerate behavior unworthy of a true Christian. Therefore we would like to ask you:
- Do not use false or obscene information during dating;
- Do not use obscene language when communicating with Christians;
- Do not insult or humiliate each other. Moscow is a diverse city. Let's love people as they are - because that's what God wants;
- Do not conduct anti-Orthodox agitation. Everyone chooses their own path.
Many Christians want to date only chaste, virgin boys and girls. However, remember that God’s holy mission is to guide people on the right path. And if a person wants to improve, then it would be ignoble of you not to help in his endeavors. After all, the mercy of Christians should know no bounds. May your dating be successful happy ending so that Moscow itself would approve them.
Why our dating site?
The Christian world is bright and joyful. And our site wants to make it even brighter and happier. Moscow is a big city, and it is quite difficult to find your soul mate there. It is for those Christians who want new spiritual acquaintances, who want to create Christian families, that our dating site was created. Why our site:
- Here you can place absolutely free dating ads;
- Thanks to thoughtful survey questions, you can quickly narrow your search to optimal options dating Moscow is big, so the ability to simplify the search would be useful;
- We guarantee that bright Christian acquaintances will not be overshadowed by people with base desires;
- Our website provides a dating profile in which it is not necessary to include your photo;
- Our site guarantees absolute security and non-disclosure of information from your dating profile;
- We will definitely change your life for the better!
Our dating site will fulfill your dream of leading a decent worldly life that will please the Lord. After all, you will have an excellent opportunity to fill out a dating questionnaire. You don’t have to put a photo here, but be sure to fill out the following fields:
- Age and height;
- Country and city (Moscow, Nizhny Novgorod, St. Petersburg, etc.);
- Having children;
- Confession and religiosity, etc.
And may the Lord himself bless your acquaintances!
Modern young people often complain that they have nowhere to meet people, so they cannot find their soulmate. And if secular people think so, then what can we say about believing Orthodox Christians? They are often completely cut off from the world. However, almost everyone wants to start a family.
Where can believers meet? The first thing that comes to mind is the temple. But while standing at a service, it is very difficult to speak to any of the parishioners, and parish life outside of services is not developed in every parish. And then it turns out that people can go to the same temple for years, pray together side by side and know nothing about each other. Of course, it is very difficult to establish any close relationships in such a situation. And then Orthodox dating sites can come to the rescue.
How to communicate on a dating site for Orthodox Christians
Orthodox dating sites, at their core, are ordinary platforms for communication and posting ads, only with a Christian twist. Such pages suggest, if not an open confession of Christ, then at least a loyal attitude towards believers and respect for Orthodox tradition. Violation of this basic rule will usually result in a permanent ban.
Online dating
As with any dating site, you need to register and fill out a personal questionnaire. It is advisable to provide only truthful information so as not to immediately deceive anyone. The choice of photo also plays an important role. Some believers believe that appearance is completely unimportant for a Christian, so they post any photographs of themselves, even not very successful ones.
About the Internet:
Of course, for a believer, the inner fullness of the soul will play the main role, but external attractiveness cannot be completely denied. Neatness, grooming, femininity, the ability to take care of yourself - these qualities will always increase the chances of a successful acquaintance.
Important: If a person believes in the Lord, this does not mean that he should completely forget about everything external, even about his own.
Very often, especially from men who have tried to find their soulmate in the Orthodox community, one can hear reproaches that religious girls do not take care of their appearance at all. Such neglect leads to the fact that the girl pushes away a possible groom even before he can see and appreciate the true beauty of her soul.
After registering and filling out a form with personal data, all that remains is to look for the advertisements you like and write to their authors. Or wait until someone notices your message and responds. Further events can develop in completely different ways - from correspondence that lasts for years to a quick meeting.
As for the opinions of the priesthood, the use of such platforms is a controversial issue. Some priests openly do not trust virtual dating and do not bless their parishioners with them. Other priests, often young and liberal, on the contrary, see in such communities excellent ground for finding like-minded people.
If you want to start communicating on a dating site with the blessing of your confessor, discuss this path with him in advance. Perhaps an experienced priest will be able to protect you from temptations, of which there are a lot on the Internet.
Orthodox dating
How not to harm yourself when dating on a website
When registering on an Orthodox dating portal, you want to believe that you will find yourself in a society of believers who sincerely seek God. But, unfortunately, the reality is much more cruel. To ensure that communication brings only positive emotions, follow these simple tips:
- To begin with, give only general and most necessary information about yourself. You should not distribute your address, phone number and other personal data to the entire network from the very first visit. You can always provide them to the person you choose by correspondence.
- Avoid any provocations. Unfortunately, Christian pages are often visited by people who openly want to mock believers and ridicule their God.
- Don't jump to conclusions. In order to understand exactly what kind of person is hidden behind a particular ad, it is not enough to simply look at his profile. It may take a lot of time for communication, correspondence, personal meetings to understand whether the person is right for you.
- Don't be discouraged if you can't meet anyone quickly. The Lord leads each person in his own way, and we cannot know when He has prepared for us our fateful meeting with our future husband or wife.
- Don't be too shy, but don't be insolent either. Save golden mean and do not offend any of your interlocutors.
- Remember that fanaticism is just as far removed from true faith as outright atheism. If from the very beginning of communication a person demands from you strict adherence to all the canons of Orthodoxy without room for error, it is better to stop communicating.
Prayers for happiness in your personal life:
Orthodox dating sites
Review of the most popular dating sites for Orthodox Christians
How can you characterize a good dating site for Orthodox Christians? Perhaps such a platform should be interesting, active, and undergo constant moderation to weed out provocateurs. The most popular pages are:
- Svetelka. One of the largest and oldest Orthodox portals for dating and correspondence. Convenient interface, the ability to send a photo both in the ad itself and to the person you like personally.
- Gull. A large portal for Orthodox Christians, where you can not only place your advertisement about finding a life partner, but also chat on the forum, read articles, and learn a lot of new things about Christianity. The site is aimed at young people, but people of all ages really communicate there.
- Destiny.net. An interesting site for those who want to find friends and like-minded people. The site aims to educate and missionary activities, organize recreation and communication between believers.
- Love. The name of the site speaks for itself - the site was simply created for finding your soulmate.
- RightSign. This is a whole large social network for Orthodox Christians, which unites people from the most different places residence. Here you can find useful articles, answers to questions from priests, and communication with fellow believers.
These are the most famous and popular Orthodox dating pages. Perhaps the Lord will lead you to a completely different place, where you will meet your soulmate. We just need to pray fervently and try to live as our Lord Jesus Christ commanded us. Only then will a person be able to receive everything necessary for both earthly life and spiritual life.
Where to meet Orthodox people to start a family
This is not the first year that the Russian Orthodox Church has expressed a desire to participate more actively in the life of the Russian family. Among the latest initiatives is the proposal of the Russian Orthodox Church to teach schoolchildren the basics family life in accordance with Christian standards. According to representatives of the clergy, this will help correct both the demographic crisis and the situation with divorces. About gender relations in the context of " traditional values“Today they talk a lot, but few people think about what these relationships actually look like. At the request of samizdat, journalist and screenwriter Anna Popova went to look for a partner in Orthodox dating clubs and tried to understand how true believers today are trying to find their other half in order to found that same healthy Christian family.
I was always considered an outcast among the church-going members of my family because of my stubbornness and wary attitude towards the Church. It all started with reading existentialists in adolescence, and ended in atheism by the age of twenty. Today I don’t wear a cross, I don’t celebrate Easter and Christmas, and I live in a civil marriage with a French Catholic.
When the monks I knew found out about this, they were horrified. One of the priests said that an Orthodox girl has two paths: either to a monastery or to a legal marriage with children. Otherwise, in his opinion, I risk becoming a “barren fig tree” and living in fornication for the rest of my life.
I was interested in the question: what is “love in the Orthodox way” and where can it be found? The answer turned out to be as simple as shelling pears: in special Orthodox dating clubs. They exist in two versions: on social networks and in reality. I studied both of them, for the purity of the experiment, hiding that I was a journalist and trying to get to know an Orthodox man under the guise of a church-going girl. I joined all the major VKontakte groups and went to a meeting of the Moscow Club of Peter and Fevronia, at whose tea parties the sacrament of love at first sight is supposedly often celebrated.
The experiment was a success: I made Orthodox friends, received several offers to get to know each other better, an invitation to pray together (whatever that means) and almost became a victim of a loving defender of people.
ORTHODOX LOVE: A SURVIVAL GUIDE
Wives, obey your husbands,
as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife,
just as Christ is the head of the Church.
(Apostle Paul's Epistle to the Ephesians 5:22-33)
Before plunging into the world of Orthodox dating, you should understand in what coordinate system believers who are looking for their other half live. If you are far from the Church, then when you get acquainted with the basics of Orthodox society, you will get the impression that you have found yourself in Narnia. Everything is so unusual for a secular person who is used to not being embarrassed by his sexuality and having control over his own body.
The world of Russian Orthodoxy does not need outside interference. There are popular magazines (“Foma”, “Up”), Internet portals (Pravmir), YouTube channels (Batushka otvetit with priest-blogger Alexander), fashion shows and, most importantly, a developed service sector for those wishing to get married: an Orthodox toastmaster will help arrange a holiday in the best church traditions, church musicians will play for you and your guests, and seamstresses will sew the most modest dress for the bride.
Orthodoxy recognizes one form of love - a legal marriage, concluded at least in the registry office, and at most - supported by a wedding. The foundation of this Orthodox family- children, they are considered a blessing from God. "Church marriage law says: “A family is complete when there are children in it. Children are its equal members,” writes Priest Dionisy Svechnikov in one of his sermons. According to him, marriage is “a means of continuation and multiplication of the human race. Therefore, childbearing is saving, for it is ordained by God.”
The Father of the Church, St. Augustine, who lived at the dawn of Christianity, explained that children are primarily the responsibility of a woman. Even then, they were given an attitude that is still relevant for Christians: a man is an independent unit, while a woman is just his “helper in childbirth.” To emphasize the difference between the sons of Adam and the daughters of Eve, a number of rules apply in Orthodox churches.
A woman, even a nun, has no right to enter the altar - only men can be there. During the service, the church is divided into men's and women's areas. When I still went to the monastery, I was very afraid of accidentally going to the “male” part of the temple. The fact is that at the entrance there was a nun, whom everyone called Grandmother Salome. She seemed to be the immortal spirit of old age, she moved exclusively in a wheelchair and kept a vigilant eye on the visitors to the temple. As soon as a man or woman went to the wrong part of the room, which was assigned by gender, the unfortunate people immediately received a sensitive blow to the back with a stick.
It is also forbidden to enter the temple during menstruation. The meaning of the prohibition is simple: there should be no blood in a sacred place, for in the New Testament only bloodless sacrifices are offered to God, unlike the Old.
In addition, you cannot visit the temple for forty days after giving birth. A friend of mine could not participate in the christening of her own daughter until the priest said a special cleansing prayer over her. And only then was she allowed to cross the threshold of the church.
An interesting paradox emerges: the main purpose of a woman in Orthodoxy and Christianity in general is to give birth to children. However, at the same time, she is being punished for performing her sacred function.
This is partly why any attempt to make love for pleasure is considered debauchery. Sex in an Orthodox couple is for conception, not for relaxation and pleasant sensations. This is in Ancient India physical love was considered a way to merge with the One Existing, and in Orthodox Church everything is different.
But even if you sacredly honor all prohibitions and make love for the sake of having children, you still cannot touch each other during fasting. Fasting in Orthodoxy is a time of cleansing the soul and body from sinful thoughts and deeds. You should attend church as often as possible, follow certain rules in food, give up fatty foods, meat and fish, and Everyday life observe asceticism.
Let's count together: Orthodox Christians have a total of four fasts per year. In 2017 Lent lasted from February 27 to April 15, the Apostolic (or Peter's Fast) - from June 12 to July 11, the Assumption - from August 14 to August 27, and the Nativity (or Filippov Fast) - from November 28 to January 6, 2018. This means that an Orthodox couple cannot have sex 132 days a year. Almost six months.
Some Orthodox priests believe that conceiving during fasting is fraught with much more serious consequences than daily repentance. Metropolitan Vladimir of Omsk and Tauride reported in the “Blagovest” program that most of the babies conceived during Lent are mentally ill.
“Nothing good should be expected here. Of these [children conceived during fasting] 70% are schizophrenics. Does anyone want to have a schizophrenic son? He doesn't want to. Of these... 70% are suicides. Psychics are born from them,” said the Metropolitan. And then he added that best time conception - after Easter, such children have a high chance of being born scientists.
An even greater sin than making love during Lent is abortion. If you thought that we were talking about aborting an already formed embryo, then you were sorely mistaken. Contraception and getting rid of a child are things of the same order in the eyes Orthodox priests. The consequences of preventing conception can be terrible not only for the immortal soul, but also for the mortal body.
Father Alexey Gomonov, rector of the Church of the Assumption Holy Mother of God in Putinki, spoke about this in one of his sermons. He compared a woman who has an abortion to one who uses contraception. “In the same way, the one who installed the spiral is monstrous towards her children. This is generally a trick of the devil... Abortions here already number in the tens and hundreds. The spiral makes it possible to conceive a child, and when the conceived cell begins to move higher, to the maternal place, the spiral stands there, and the cell cannot go where it needs to go. And a cell (embryo) is already a person, do you understand? There is body and soul. AND small man falls into the toilet."
According to Father Alexei, the fate of such people is terrible: almost all of them “died instantly.” “And so I met with one woman. She says her husband was a benefactor. Why did he die? I answer: he is a murderer. A sophisticated killer. He is responsible for hundreds of murdered children. “Are you talking about me, or what?” Yes, yes, this is about you. You have a spiral!” - said the priest.
Naturally, it is difficult for an Orthodox Christian to find a partner “in the world” - a partner who is not accustomed to punishing himself for carnal pleasures and does not want to have children “as many as God will send” is unlikely to agree to a union with a true believer of the Russian Orthodox Church. Therefore, Orthodox dating clubs on the Internet and real life - effective way find a couple and fulfill the main purpose of a Christian: to create a family.
“THIS IS NOT THE ONE MY MOMMY RAISED ME FOR”
It is in your best interests to extend the period of abstinence.
A year, or two, or three dating...
And with passionate hugs, kisses,
unchaste touches
the head cannot be cold.
And all this year or two was in vain.
There are 203 Orthodox dating groups on the VKontakte social network, the largest with almost 32 thousand people. My attempts as a journalist to communicate with their participants were a complete failure. The Orthodox treated me like a dangerous animal and did not want to make contact. As I realized later, the problem was that the page was too “non-Orthodox”: it is impossible for me to find reposts of prayers and sayings of the elders, the photographs scream about the love of travel - and not at all for pilgrimages, and education (VGIK) creates the impression that I disappear every day on parties and shamelessly indulged in casual relationships.
Luck suddenly smiled on me: one of the regulars suddenly accepted the friendship and wrote to me. This is how my first contact with the world of Orthodox dating took place. A user with the sonorous name Tony (in reality he turned out to be Dima) said that he had been looking for love for ten years. “It hasn’t worked out yet, but I’m not discouraged,” he added cheerfully. Dima said that he was looking mainly for the Orthodox, because all his relatives were churchgoers. His mother built a chapel in the village with her own money, and his brother serves as an altar boy on weekends. “Well, I want to find a chaste, decent woman who knows how to respect and love not only herself, but also her man,” Dima explained.
He wants to get married at all costs. Like in the movies, Dima made a promise to his father, when he was on his deathbed, to find a wife. However, over ten years, Dima's tastes have changed somewhat. And now he is ready to date girls of any religion and nationality. Except for the Jews.
I jokingly asked why the Jewish women didn’t please him, when suddenly Dima became withdrawn. He began to suspect that I myself was a Jew (which is partly true, since I come from a family of hereditary rabbis on my great-grandmother’s side), and this caused an unexpected attack of anti-Semitism.
So, Dima became convinced that I was a secret Jew. He suddenly said that he had already told me too much and could no longer continue the dialogue. “You don’t inspire confidence in me, to be honest, you don’t have a cross on your neck, you have a puncture... You’re probably a deported Cossack,” Dima wrote.
And then, forgetting that he had already said goodbye, he began to explain why the Jews did not please him. It turns out that it's all about one of the conspiracy theories. “It’s disgusting to realize that almost all Jews do not like Slavs and Russians in particular. At the same time, 80% of Jews currently have Slavic genetics,” said Dima, relying on statistical data unknown to me or the RuNet. Then he said that it would not be possible to steal the Slavic gene pool from Jewish women like me (which is what we are supposedly doing now, purposefully looking for Russian husbands). According to him, the sons of Israel have already succeeded in this in Europe - and because of this, Europeans are “on the verge of extinction.” And now the Jews are going to destroy the Slavs in a similar way. And the Slavic people are protected from death by strong faith in God.
I hastened to say goodbye, internally cursing myself for the losing idea of communicating with visitors to Orthodox dating clubs through my real VKontakte page.
Suddenly Dima changed his tone and coquettishly asked if I was planning to meet? Maybe I pretended to be a journalist to find a way to his heart? “I don’t mind if anything happens. Only I'm a poor goy. I was recently fired from my job. And I have a speech impediment like Moses,” he wrote. However, I had to disappoint him and admit that I was living with a man. Dima reacted kindly and wished me good luck in love and faith. He expressed the hope that I would find myself in Orthodoxy.
“If you write about lonely Jews and Jewish women, then I can help. There are many of us who are disillusioned with Judaism, Jewish brotherhood and Jews,” Dima finally told me. With this we said goodbye.
I decided not to repeat the mistakes and started a new page. Introducing myself by the name of my university teacher and posting photographs of a friend from Switzerland, for several days I regularly reposted from the Orthodox groups “I Believe”, “Orthodoxy in the Family” and “Overheard. Orthodoxy." And then I decided that I had pretended to be a real user enough: I was ready to enter the world of believers again.
I posted several advertisements in Orthodox online dating clubs, and on the first day I received eleven messages. One of the users, forty-year-old Andrei, who sings in church on Sundays, called me the little mermaid from the very beginning and was very worried if I did not immediately respond to his remarks.
He said that he worked as a controller at one of the famous confectionery factories in Moscow, and then suddenly added that he wanted to meet and give me five boxes of chocolates that he got for free. I had to refuse: I don’t look at all like the photos I posted on the fake page. I was sure that if one of the visitors to Orthodox dating clubs found out about the fake, he would tell the others about it - and I would not be able to talk to anyone else.
Andrey turned out to be a calm and balanced person. So he decided that I was just testing him, refusing the meeting. Apparently, that’s why Andrey decided to communicate with me every day on the topics of marriage and love. He is convinced: only believers can create real family. “Their marriage will be stronger and stronger. The Bible says that “God is love.” At least they have a guide in life, how a husband and wife should behave in different situations. If they are believers, they can pray together, do many things together, which will unite them, one worldview,” he explained to me.
However, others wrote to me, and I could not allow myself to focus on one character - so our communication with Andrey took less and less time. He wrote to me about his loneliness, more and more insistently offered to meet, promised to treat me with care and be good husband, and then he realized that he couldn’t wait for anything serious with me. “The little mermaid swam into my heart and sailed away,” Andrei sadly summarized and never appeared in my life again. I hope he found the one he was looking for.
Besides him, a young guy with a disability, living on a pension in a small village near Moscow and helping in the church, wrote to me, three sales managers (two from Siberia and one from Moscow) and one seminarian urgently looking for a wife (he is going to become a white priest, and therefore urgently needs a spouse, otherwise he will have to become a monk or postpone his ordination).
The men I met in Orthodox dating clubs, for the most part, do not work or occupy low positions, are not very happy with life and are looking for great pure love in order to make family and their beloved the meaning of their existence. They are touchy, vulnerable and really want someone to love them for their soul, and not for their appearance.
Women are looking for the same thing. But they are much more religious, have a harsher attitude towards non-compliance with the precepts of clergy heard in sermons, and suspect all men of wanting to live in an ungodly civil marriage.
My namesake Anya, a twenty-six-year-old woman who works as a cashier in a Novosibirsk supermarket, cannot find an Orthodox life partner. She loves to go on pilgrimage trips to monasteries and dreams of “a bunch of kids and strong family" Anya complained to me about fans from social networks and real life: they do not understand her at all and cannot offer what she is looking for. She contemptuously calls them “boys.”
“Many people write to me. But I don't like either one. And in response to my refusals, they begin to be rude. Many boys run around in real life and even ask me to marry, but I refuse them. They’re also rude, they literally throw dirt at me, they say that I’m a man in a skirt and a career woman who doesn’t need a normal family,” Anya shared with me. She said that she considered me a friend, and therefore could speak completely frankly.
She is proud of her lack of an “intimate past” and her preserved virginity. “Why are men like this now? Why do they offend me? They irritate me because they don't know how to take no for an answer. They call me an old maid and make up stories about me. No, my mom didn’t raise me for people like that,” Anya proudly summed up.
Alina, a divorced mother of two children, is also not happy with men from Orthodox dating clubs. In the photographs she looks thin and very fragile, always wearing a neat lace scarf and a floor-length skirt. Alina lives with her mother. All her happiness comes from her children. Their father turned out to not need them, and Alina experienced a deep crisis of ideas about marriage. Now it is difficult for her to find a new husband. Few Orthodox men need a woman with children. And those who like her like that don’t admire Alina.
To meet the man of her dreams, she reads a special prayer to her guardian angel. “I read to the point that two admirers were already getting married. One asks for a phone number and wants to come live with me, the other invites me to meet together New Year and is also going to move for my sake. But I don’t like either one,” Alina lamented in a conversation with me.
Fathers advise under no circumstances to enter into intimate relationships straightaway. It is advisable to wait a few years. Father Alexei Gomonov believes that you should not even hold hands - this can inflame “unpleasant desires.” “Some even come up with the question: “Father, how long can you keep your pen in your hand?” Is this possible or not?” I answer: “No, it’s not possible.” Too much grip. Just by the tip of your finger."
When looking for a partner, Orthodox Christians look up to the ideal of the Murom princes Peter and Fevronia. These are Orthodox Romeo and Juliet, elevated by the Orthodox community to the category of cult personalities. Their story contains the pattern of behavior of a real Orthodox husband and Orthodox wife.
The essence of the legend about Peter and Fevronia is as follows. The peasant woman Fevronia cured Prince Peter from poisoning with a mysterious poison. However, the prince decided to leave the savior. Away from her, he felt bad again and returned to Fevronia. They got married and lived together all their lives, dying, as usual, on the same day. Before their death, the couple took monastic vows with the names David and Euphrosyne.
There are four prayers to Peter and Fevronia. They are often perceived as magical magical formulas that work flawlessly, like the akathist to the guardian angel, which my new friend Alina reads so diligently.
Each of the prayers corresponds to the crisis stages of the life of a young couple: a prayer for the preservation of the family, a prayer for the conception of a child, a prayer for the return of a loved one, and, finally, a prayer for love and marriage.
You can also go to a prayer service for Peter and Fevronia to ask God for a meeting with your soulmate. Usually for this they go to the Moscow Church of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Putinki, where a special club of Orthodox youth named after Peter and Fevronia (abbreviated as PiF) gathers. There are legends about this place: some say that it is sinful to gather in the temple, others believe that only in the Pension Fund is a great sacrament performed eternal love at first sight. To some extent this is true: many participants get married. On average, five to ten weddings take place per year. I decided to go to the club, pretending to be a lonely church girl, and form my own idea of what was happening. What I observed there puzzled me: I didn’t find any chaste courtship or modest men afraid of angering the Lord by touching their beloved’s hand.
PRAYER AND VIRTUE
Looking at a woman with lust,
whether he is a layman or a monk, there will be
equally punished for adultery.
(St. John Chrysostom)
At the Pension Fund, the active Ekaterina Gromova runs the show. She organizes the main event of Sunday evening - a tea party after the prayer service for Peter and Fevronia, which takes place right in the temple. The tables are placed under painted ceilings, and Joseph and his sons, white donkeys and the Mother of God herself in gilded robes with the pink baby Christ in her full arms look down on the club members.
Ekaterina is full of the nervous energy of a perfectionist. In communication, she quickly switches from one topic to another, speaks dryly and quickly, in a very simple language. Catherine is in charge not only of tea parties, but also of the chamomile ball, and pilgrimage trips, and trips to orphans and abandoned old people. Ekaterina speaks four languages, including French and Greek, but she is not married and lives with her church-going mother, who helps her with PiF. She doesn't wear makeup, and there's something childish and old-womanish about her sharp face at the same time.
Like many Orthodox Christians, Catherine lives in a world where Netflix, Donna Tartt, Game of Thrones and other essential blessings of urban youth do not exist. To “avoid brain damage,” she watches exclusively the Orthodox TV channels Spas and Soyuz, and sometimes Kultura. At the same time, Ekaterina considers classical music and Soviet comedies absolutely harmless for the soul.
She invited me to a prayer service and tea party on December 24th. Ironically, right on Catholic Christmas Eve. So I went to a meeting of an Orthodox dating club straight from a traditional French Christmas dinner.
The church smelled strongly of incense and sweat. I came to the end of the prayer service, when the believers were already rising from their knees and giving their prayer books to the priest’s assistant. Father Alexei, a short, plump man with a bushy curly beard, delivered a traditional sermon. He began by declaring there would be no frost on Christmas Day. a clear sign"rampant evil." Then the priest hinted that to meet the one or only one, it is not enough just to pray. "Although prayer is effective remedy“, he hastened to add.
It turned out that in order to become familiar with the sacrament of love, it is also necessary to engage in “virtuous acts.” An example of “doing good,” according to Father Alexei, is one believer who, secretly from his family, took out loans and paid for the expensive construction of a church in the Moscow region. “Strong, conscious support for the temple,” and not just “changes in the piggy bank” for donations, can bring you closer to meeting your soulmate.
Then Father Alexei sternly informed us that doing good is absolutely necessary - after all, we belong to a cursed family. “Our ancestors destroyed temples. They mocked their faith. They giggled,” he listed the sins of the Soviet people. Then Father Alexey offered to choose, “to be a slave of God or a slave of crazy demons.” There is no third.
After the sermon, everyone poured out into the street to give the permanent members of the Pension Fund the opportunity to set up tables and prepare everything for tea. That's when I met the first contender for my heart. The acquaintance took place in the most romantic setting - in line for the toilet.
People were crowded in a narrow corridor, everyone was literally breathing down each other’s necks. Alexander flew in, letting in the frosty air, and easily squeezed into the already dense queue. He was about thirty, bald, with the big Russian face of a hero from pictures in children's books. Alexander waved his hand at me and said that he had “noticed” me a long time ago. Still at the prayer service. He then asked conspiratorially if I knew the meaning of the name Alexander. I decided to show off my knowledge. "Defender?" - I bravely suggested. “Not just a defender! Protector of the people! “I will protect you now,” Alexander proudly proclaimed, causing the grandmothers to murmur because of his loud voice.
I was confused: to be honest, I didn’t expect that I would meet in an Orthodox club so quickly and in such an inappropriate place for dating. Meanwhile, Alexander did not waste time. He said that he served in the army and lived for twenty-five years in Georgia, which caused a new surge of discontent among the grandmothers in the toilet line. “Apparently, he learned to bawler there,” one of them snorted. Alexander ignored her and continued talking about himself.
Finally I managed to hide in the toilet. I stayed there as long as possible to get rid of my obsessive boyfriend: my instinct told me that Alexander would get in the way of talking with other heroes. When I came out, only the grandmothers and a girl warming their hands were standing in the corridor. I breathed a sigh of relief.
But it was not there. The defender of people jumped out like a jack-in-the-box (although an unexpected appearance given his size seems almost impossible) and immediately attracted me to help. “We need to set the tables, we’ll take trays of food to the temple.” I agreed, internally rejoicing at the opportunity to come into contact with the organizers. Even if in the company of the omnipresent Alexander.
But the girl who had recently joined those eager to go to the toilet did not react so calmly. “Are you having a tea party right in the temple?!” - she was indignant. "You're new. “You probably don’t know the rules yet,” Alexander began blissfully, but his interlocutor interrupted him, furiously waving her winged earrings. “So they are telling the truth! About you and this club of yours! Where have you seen this - drinking tea in churches?! Yes, I was almost killed for an apple at the monastery during communion! I won’t stay another second!” - she said, burring with excitement, and disappeared.
But I couldn’t hide from the defender just as cleverly. All the time while I was helping to carry food and set the tables, he persistently and in his own way grabbed me by the elbows, breathed into my neck and tried to take my hand. And along the way I tried to lead casual conversation. It was here that the first clouds appeared on the cloudless horizon of our communication.
Then Father Alexey offered to choose, “to be a slave of God or a slave of crazy demons”
“You women are strange creatures. And you have problems with orientation,” said Alexander. I couldn’t stand it and noticed that I had no problems with orientation. “Can there really be any problems with her?” - I asked innocently. Alexander was embarrassed and said that I “don’t have Christian thoughts.” He did not mean sexual orientation - God forbid, everyone knows that gays have no place in the temple of God - but “geographical.”
For some time, a feeling of awkwardness pacified the defender of people. But then he held the door for me and was so pleased with his own gallantry that he quoted the “Exhibit” of “Leningrad”. “Who’s great? I'm done! I’m great, I am!” - he exclaimed. I raised my eyebrows and asked how long he had been listening to Shnur. Here Alexander became more embarrassed than ever and muttered that he only sometimes plays “Leningrad” - because “they watch it at work”, and his sister likes it.
His company became more and more painful, and his attempts to touch me became more and more relaxed. When Alexander tried to unobtrusively slap me on the bottom, I realized that I had to get rid of him. To my joy, in the kitchen, where I returned for another tray, there was a girl standing. Her name was Maria, and she was a relative of Father Alexei. She had unusually radiant eyes, an iconographic face and blonde hair, hidden by a snow-white scarf.
Taking advantage of the fact that Alexander went to the temple to take a place for us, I rushed to Maria for help. "Save me from one persistent young man“, I begged. Maria laughed and promised to protect me. She spoke softly and immediately became familiar with me, declaring that I had the perfect voice for singing in the temple.
We went to tea together. But at the entrance to the temple, Maria suddenly disappeared - she was carried away by one of the assistants to the President of the Pension Fund. I remained standing, frantically wondering what to do.
Alexander lost his patience and walked towards me to sit me next to him. I looked around in exasperation and sat down at the nearest table, where one of the members of the Pension Fund called me with a wave of his hand. This is how I met Alexey, the second contender for my heart.
Alexey is the complete opposite of Alexander. Neat, shorter, smelling of pleasant perfume. He insinuatingly told me that eyes like mine are never forgotten. “I’ve definitely seen you somewhere. Not at Matronushka’s?” - Alexei’s voice turned out to be high and shrill. I decided to play along with him and told him that yes, he definitely could have noticed me at the service in the Matrona Temple.
With a sly wink, Alexey said that he has a photographic memory: once he sees it, he remembers it for the rest of his life. Something like professional deformation. “I worked in the Ministry of Internal Affairs,” Alexey smiled and casually touched my knee with his hand, devouring me with his piercing gray eyes. Who would have thought that I would miss the protector of people, Alexander.
Alexey, without preludes, invited us to pray together the other day to Saint Spyridon of Trimifunt, and then began to tell how he found the Church of the Dormition of the Holy Mother of God and PIF. It turned out he was dreaming prophetic dream, who brought him to the club and introduced him to his confessor - his namesake, Father Alexei Gomonov.
Also, a new acquaintance confidentially told me that he spoke with the confessor of Patriarch Kirill himself - and he blessed him to return to the Ministry of Internal Affairs. “Only formalities remain, and I’m serving again,” Alexei declared proudly.
At this time, Alexander did not take his offended eyes off me. Alexey moved closer and persistently tried to catch my gaze. I realized that it was time to leave. Lying that I still had a lot of work to do, I started to get out from behind the table, but Alexei gently prevented me from getting up. “Give me the number,” he said bluntly. I was confused and said that I couldn’t. "Give!" - Alexey said in an orderly manner and took the mobile phone from my hands. “Unblock, I’ll dial my number and thus fix yours,” Alexey insisted. I realized that there was nowhere to retreat: I allowed him to dial the number, and then I apologized and flew out of the temple.
I walked to the metro and felt an incomprehensible shame for what happened. I felt dirty, spit-stained, and I really wanted to lie down and go to sleep. It would seem that nothing special happened, but never before have I felt like such a weak-willed piece of meat and an object of hunting as I did at the tea party of the Orthodox dating club.
I remembered how, on my last trip to the monastery, one of the monks scolded me for my frivolity and “free appearance.” He said that you need to hide your eyes and not look shamelessly directly at the man, and was also indignant at the fact that the jacket slightly exposed the neck. “This is a provocation,” the monk scolded me, blushing with anger. Another offered to cast demons out of me, thinking that my “self-will” was clearly from the evil one.
On the way to the metro from the Church of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary, I pulled off the scarf, crumpled it and, obeying an unconscious impulse, threw it into the nearest trash can. I felt cramped in the world of prohibitions and good deeds. Orthodox love obviously not for “barren fig trees” like me.
