Divorced from my husband five years ago. From the marriage there are two children aged 9 and 11 years. Tired of deciding and carrying everything on myself family problems, and besides, my husband started going for walks. I left him, as they say, “with one knot”... All this time I was organizing a house from scratch, paying off three loans, raising children, it wasn’t easy. Thank God I was lucky and I changed my job and started earning more. Life began to get better, more or less. A year ago I met a man... And Oh God... This is the man I dreamed of. Complete opposite of mine ex-husband. And care and attention. One thing... He is a single father... His wife left him and their child and went to his best friend. In principle, this situation did not scare me and I thought, well, where are there two children and the third will not be a hindrance... But it turned out that everything is not so simple... I like wise woman I immediately began to look for an approach to the child, bought her toys, completely replaced her wardrobe, the poor child did not even have decent things, everything was so washed out.... I bought her a bunch of beautiful rubber bands for the garden. I tried my best to please. The girl is 5 years old... The child is problematic, does not understand anything, in the kindergarten they complain about her that she does not obey, does not want to study... At home she does whatever she wants, does not respond to comments. She says that she understands and immediately does it again!!!
The mother does not participate in any way in raising the child, does not pay child support, citing the fact that she pays joint loan... Oh well, God be with her...
We all lived together for a year... I thought that she would change and we would live happily... But nothing changed...
I was infuriated by her behavior and because of this I was constantly in a bad mood, so Alexei and I started arguing. I couldn’t tell him that his daughter infuriates me... I understand that he loves her more than life itself... I thought about breaking up, but I love him and he loves me very much... and he communicates well with my children, with my son goes to chess.... I don’t know what to do.. It seems to me that his daughter will never change and I will never be able to love her....
Olga Morozova
Hello. I’ve already created a topic here about neighbors’ dogs, how to keep them away. In the fall, in September, a neighbor’s dog killed our kitten, in the middle of the day, one might say, in front of the neighbor (the dog’s owner) and ours (my son and I saw it). We simply didn’t have time to do anything, how much does a 3 month old kitten need? At that time, I expressed a lot of things to my neighbors because of their dogs. They apologized, promised to look after them, but at the same time the phrase was said: hunting dogs (ordinary mongrels at the same time) will still attack cats, they called it happy (((
Honestly, I didn't want to more cats to get one, but in October for my daughter’s birthday they brought her a kitten as a gift.. There is a litter box at home and the cat goes there, but only for small periods, but for the most part she is used to going outside. They let her out and looked after her all the time. And then that week, the neighbor’s dog jumped over the snowdrifts into our yard and grabbed the cat right on the porch. At that time I was hanging out laundry to dry under the canopy, he didn’t see me, but I didn’t see/hear him right away either - he attacked without a sound. I jumped out at the cat’s squeal. I fought it off, while he slashed his teeth along the sleeve of my jacket and tore my sleeve. When I calmed and treated the cat a little and calmed down myself, I went to the neighbors and said I would complain. The weekend passed, they did not take any measures (the dog was running along the street and continues to run). Today I wrote a complaint to the local police officer, but I was struck by his words, saying that we cannot take any measures against the dog’s owner, there is no punishment or fine for this. Only if you go further and sue them for material and moral damage. But I don’t want to go to court over a cat and a torn sleeve. Are there really no laws so that the local police officer, relying on them, can somehow influence the owners of dogs who strangle cats while walking on their own and in other people’s yards? In general, I wrote a lot, just if you’re going to start a war with your neighbors, then rely on the laws... Maybe someone can tell me something...
Katerina
Topic to chat. Do you think about your children’s skills? Will explain. A friend’s son is a couple of months younger than mine, and so she proudly sends me a video of her baby crawling across the floor like a worm. She happily writes that he is starting to crawl. But for me, it’s just fussing on the carpet))) Or he kicks his butt back, and she thinks that he gets on all fours. I'm just either too critical of my son or a realist. But until he specifically crawled at least 30 centimeters, I somehow didn’t say that he was starting to crawl. And if he sits with support on one arm, he is not sitting yet. Which camp will you join and why?
211Anonymous
I got a job six months ago. The child is 3.5. He goes to the garden. I walked normally in the fall. I went out for the full day. And now I’ve been sitting at home for almost the entire month of February and half of March. I got a job based on an acquaintance, no one said anything to me about absences, but last time they already hinted that something needed to be resolved with sick leave. I found a nanny through an agency, but my mother panicked that there was no need for a nanny (my mother is also a commander), she herself meets him from the garden, but sick leave says we will sit in turns, 2 days she, three me. But often she either flies away somewhere, then she’s at the theater, or she doesn’t want to at all and everything is unreliable. And nothing good came of it. The nanny eventually found some other shift work and now cannot come on call, only on her weekends. Mom also teases me that I will give half of my salary to the nanny. I can't work normally. I don’t want to leave, because my husband now doesn’t earn enough for everything, I buy clothes for myself, for women’s necessities, plus I pay for vacation, I can save for a mortgage, we are saving. Mom realized that we just couldn’t save up for an apartment, she stopped reproaching us for buying an apartment, before this she constantly asked her husband what he was thinking about when he started a family. Although my husband considers himself a breadwinner, he doesn’t have enough for everything. And I don’t want to lose my job, experience, qualifications. It’s also very difficult mentally to sit with a child for 2 weeks. I feel better at work, but I can’t get there. Only goes to the garden for 5 days and again at home for 2 weeks. I'm constantly nervous. How can you work and watch your child at the same time? How do women do this?
171LTA LTA
Good afternoon, dear forum members. We need a collective mind, my brain is no longer working. Given: there is a small studio for preparing for the Unified State Exam and the Unified State Exam: Russian, English, Society and Mathematics. I am planning to expand - open a second one in another area, and change the name of both studios. The so-called rebranding should be carried out. Now the name is AbvEGE. I want something interesting and to the point. My husband suggests “studio for preparing for the Unified State Exam last name first name.” I don't like it, it's too pretentious. The room is small, three classrooms and an admin desk, behind which I stand if there is no lesson. You can't call them courses. I would be grateful for advice on how to call it more interesting.
82In this article:
Almost every family sooner or later has a new addition, which is the most important moment. Especially when expecting another baby, as this is a reason for greater joy, love and care. After the birth of their first child, many mothers begin to think about the question of when to give birth to a second child and what needs to be taken into account when preparing for the second birth. Planning a second pregnancy is basically no longer an accidental event, but a planned step.
In addition, the birth of a second child has its positive aspects and this affects the development of both children. They learn to interact well with each other, they do not get bored spending time together. For parents, this is a double portion of joy and worries.
There are no arguments against having another baby. The big difficulty lies mainly in financial resources, which are sometimes not enough. In connection with this and some other circumstances, a very significant question arises: when is it better to give birth to a second child?
Age difference
First of all, any mother is interested in what the age difference should be between children? The optimal option is considered to be 4 years. Most experts will agree with this opinion. However, we will analyze each possible case in order to clearly imagine the whole picture.
Twins
Twins are born lighter than any single baby. As for their development, it is also happening more slowly. Therefore, in in this case More attention is required not only from parents, but also from doctors. In the case of twins, there are some nuances. For example, while still in infancy, they sleep only together. Growing up, they say we all the time, instead of just me. In this case, parents need to make it clear to them that each of them is an independent person. In this regard, you should not send both children to the same sections and clubs.
Even if they show their abilities in the same activity, they must develop them separately. This is explained by the fact that one of the children always becomes the leader, and the other the follower. Despite the fact that such a hierarchy seems convenient to them, such inequality clearly does not benefit both children. You should also not buy them the same clothes. The principle of education is based on the following: each child has his own bright and individual personality.
Weather
Every mother knows what's what smaller child, the more he demands attention to himself. So is it worth giving birth to a second child when the first is only one year old? Until the child is one year old, the mother, almost literally, does not leave him a single step. When a child turns one year old, he begins to walk, and even here the mother cannot always keep up with her fidget. On the one hand, this is troublesome, but on the other, thanks to such continuous contact between mother and child, the latter develops better, learning about the world around him.
It is worth noting that when a child is just over a year old, he especially needs a lot of attention and care from his parents. At this time, the baby is usually told everything that the parents themselves know about the world around them. Will a mother be able to pay enough attention to two children at once? This is a big question.
Two year olds
Second births only two years after the birth of the first child have their own nuances. At two years old, the child is still quite egocentric. And partial refusal of attention from the mother will be perceived painfully by him. In addition, with the birth of a second child, the first-born may develop jealousy towards him, which leads to stressful situations.
There are some contradictory aspects that supposedly have positive sides: they play together happily, go to the same kindergarten, swim together, etc. However, by and large, all this does not benefit the children, but is only a convenience for the mother.
An important point: any child under about 4 years old needs a certain amount of attention and care. In this regard, every mother who has to divide her attention into two sides will not be able to give proper education. After all, every child needs it in full, not in half.
And if you consider that in addition to raising a child, there are all other things to do, then everyone doesn’t have much time left. Of course, this does not mean that you have to be with your child 24 hours a day. But in direct contact with him, you need to give yourself 100% to him. Only in this case will he be able to understand that he is loved and dear.
Three year olds
If you are deciding whether to have a second child when your eldest is three years old, think carefully too. There's no need to rush. At this age, children are still able to fiercely compete with each other for their mother's attention. He is still too small not to perceive the younger one as a rival, and is self-centered enough to share his mother’s love with him.
Three-year-olds do not hide their experiences, but they still cannot “process” them properly. That is, the firstborn cannot yet speak openly about his feelings about the birth of his second child, but it’s easy to get sick.
Unfortunately, many mothers are replaced by grandmothers, thereby letting the older child understand that he is already the second.
Four year olds
This one is the one perfect case When is the best time to give birth to a second child? And here are the reasons. At this age, the firstborn is already old enough to understand and know his parents. Even when his mother is not next to him, he still knows that he is very loved and dear to her. At this “mature” age, children are already able to fulfill their promises and even show care. Girls, for example, are already playing “mother-daughter” with all their might. Therefore, mom may even have a little helper.
Boys are also often proud of the fact that they showed up new member families. And if they are jealous, they do it more peacefully. Four-year-old children may initially, of course, have some doubts about which of the two children their mother loves more. However, at this age it is enough to explain everything to the child and make him understand that he is no worse.
Five year olds and older
How older child, the easier it is to explain something to the first-born and prepare him for the arrival of another baby. At the right approach jealousy may not arise. However, as the age difference between children increases, the likelihood that they will have an interesting time decreases; they become too different.
It is worth noting that the older the first child, the more the younger one perceives him as another parent.
How to prepare an older child?
In some cases, when planning a second pregnancy, young parents still experience doubts. A whole bunch of questions arise. Will the older child quarrel with the younger one or will he help in courting and protect him?! Will they be able to become the most best friends and share with each other everything they have?! Will the firstborn experience feelings of jealousy, since the youngest will receive increased attention from his parents?! When should you tell your older child about planning a brother or sister and is it worth telling him about it at all?!
In addition, the mother herself even begins to doubt that she will be able to pay enough attention to both children. However, no matter what doubts torment young parents, their first-born should definitely be notified about the second child. Moreover, the sooner this is done, the easier he will bear this news. It is best to raise this topic of conversation at the stage of planning a second pregnancy.
This should be explained in a way that the child can understand. It is very important to present such information in a positive way. And the lighter it is, the better it is for the older child to perceive. It’s worth telling how good it is to feel like an elder and to be a little responsible for the life of a baby. In addition, now it won’t be so boring, because there is someone to spend useful time with.
Positive attitude
Jealousy between children is often a fairly common occurrence. However, despite this, you should not prepare yourself in advance for such a reaction on the part of your eldest child: it may not happen at all. You always need to act based on the specific situation.
In some cases, it is useful when the firstborn can visit the mother and baby while she is still in the maternity hospital. And if he sees his photograph on the nightstand, he will be especially pleased. You can let him touch the baby, explain that at first he will cry and eat a lot. All this and many other points should be presented in a positive way, and then the first-born will be able to quickly get used to it and accept it.
Collaboration
With the advent of the second newborn, we again have to remember the past. However, trying to do everything the best way, do not forget that love can be shown at any time. In some cases, you can work in two directions. For example, when breastfeeding a baby, you can tell a fairy tale to an older child.
Modeling from plasticine can be replaced by working with dough. While mom is busy with housework, the older child can start sculpting figures. After which they can be placed on a baking sheet, and after 20 minutes – the cookies are ready! Who knows, maybe the eldest will develop culinary skills?!
What not to do
First of all, it is necessary to suppress all attempts at jealousy on the part of the older child. Even if the first-born feels angry at the baby or, God forbid, at the parents, then in no case should you appeal to his feelings of guilt. Instead, you need to understand it and accept everything as it is. In this case, it is better for parents to let the child understand that they fully share his feelings and cheer him up, telling him to be patient a little and everything will be as good as before.
The older child cannot be forced to show his brotherly love towards the younger one, since he has his own rights to integrity and private property. If the need arises, you should purchase new toys for the younger child. As for the brotherly relationship, it will come in any case, it just takes time.
You should not burden your older child with too many responsibilities. If you feel that you cannot cope with your older child, you should contact a highly qualified specialist. Children's family psychologist will help parents understand the needs of their older child and properly build a dialogue with him.
It is extremely rarely planned in a family, but parents most often think about the birth of a second baby, and everyone is looking forward to its appearance with great impatience.
Most parents, before planning a second pregnancy, first try to decide several important points: get a higher education, make major repairs that won’t cost too much, achieve a certain material well-being, etc.
The birth of the first child sometimes frightens a young family, since they do not yet know how to handle babies. But now there are many special schools, for example, in the Almazov perinatal center. The second pregnancy proceeds more calmly, because mothers and fathers already know and can do a lot.
However, unfortunately, parents do not always think about whether their first child is ready to accept a brother or sister. So, if you decide to add another baby to your family, be sure to listen to the advice of gynecologists and psychologists.
If the ages between your babies are 1-3 years old, you should understand that up to three years of age, attention, care and affection are needed. And if your child has just turned 1.5 years old and a sister or brother is born, the mother, no matter how much she wants it, will not be able to give both babies equal and sufficient attention, and the first-born may not receive it fully.
And the young mother herself is also not always able to cope with two kids who have a small age difference.
In addition, if not enough time has passed between the first and second pregnancy, the female body simply does not have time to fully recover, and the psyche does not have time to rest from the stress that was received during the first birth.
But there is one unconditional advantage here: children with a small age difference always get along better with each other.
If the age difference between your children is 4-6 years, it is characterized by a lack of coherence between the children, because there is practically no basis for friendship between them. A young mother, of course, can more easily endure such a pregnancy and childbirth, but then she may witness rivalry between children.
If the age difference between your children is more than 10 years, there are practically no problems with this age, because the older child is already quite independent. He will certainly understand everything and calmly give way to the baby. But whether they can become friends, and whether this will happen, will depend only on the mother.
From a psychological point of view, everything is clear, but even despite the mother’s moral readiness to give birth to a second baby, her body may still not be completely prepared for this. The second will require strength that is restored only after 2 or even 3 years. If your birth was spontaneous, it will take less time for your body to recover, and if you underwent surgery and had a cesarean section, it should occur no earlier than 3 years later. Only during this time will the uterine tissue be able to fully regenerate and prepare for the birth of a child.
In addition, women should remember that if she is still breastfeeding her first child, the second pregnancy will force her to transfer the baby to artificial feeding.
All families approach the decision to have a second child differently: some believe that it is better to immediately “shoot back” with the same age, others believe that it is better to have the maximum age difference between children. Who is right?
When exactly to give birth is up to you. But there are observations from doctors and psychologists that are probably worth reading before making a decision. Maybe you can calculate the optimal age difference between the older and younger child.
Difference from one to two years: convenient for babies, difficult for adults
Perhaps the most important plus is that you will really “shoot back” quite quickly, if, of course, you decide to limit yourself to only two children. Closing two maternity leave in a row, you will be able to actively participate in professional activity, build a career or get an education, devote more time to yourself and your husband, play sports, travel.Another undoubted plus: the material component. Clothes, shoes, pacifier toys, strollers and cribs have not yet been given to good hands", they will move on to youngest child. And this is a lot of money. It is also worth considering that before you know it, it will be time to send your kids to all sorts of clubs and sections. For two children you can get a significant discount, and the same program will be interesting for both.
Cons for parents. Pregnancy and childbirth are a serious shock even for a young and healthy body. Doctors recommend taking a break for two years, and if there were complications, then all four. It takes time for a woman to stabilize hormonal background, the reserves of vitamins and minerals in the body were replenished. In addition, holding two babies in your arms is a serious psychological test, because they require double dedication every minute. At the same time, children will certainly want to eat from their hands and dry diaper. Usually a woman copes with this task more easily, but a man can fall into prostration. Therefore, this option is only good for active and self-confident parents.
Pros for children. Kids with a minimal age difference almost always find each other faithful playmates and mischief-makers. They are rarely bored, because they always have company. Their tastes and interests are closer than those of children with bigger difference aged. They are almost unfamiliar with childhood jealousy - the eldest child will not even remember that he was once the only one in the family.
The difference is from two to four: the youngest child is comfortable, the older child is not so much
Many consider this age difference between heirs to be optimal. Indeed, the parents at least managed to get some sleep after a difficult infant period. The eldest child has already partially acquired independent living skills, and breastfeeding is most likely in the past. Mom's body has recovered and is ready for new pregnancy. Other obvious advantages are that the skills of caring for a newborn are still fresh in memory, and many things can be done “automatically.” Only faster and better than the first time.Cons for seniors. At two or three years old, children are very egocentric; they need air like air. parental attention, and - everything, without a trace. Therefore, scenes of jealousy, competition for your love and affection, and whims in a wide variety of manifestations are not excluded. A lot of diplomacy is required from parents in order to convey to the older child the idea that with the advent of a younger brother or sister, they did not begin to love him or her less.
But the difference of 4 years is often called the standard, and for good reason: the notorious crisis of three years has already been experienced, the child is becoming more self-confident, wants to be mom and dad’s assistant. This is especially typical for girls: as a rule, they enthusiastically get involved in caring for “a large living doll that was brought from the maternity hospital.” However, this is not an axiom: only psychologically mature parents by this age manage to formulate in their child a spirit of teamwork, and not competition.
Pros for the younger one. He is no longer surrounded by two, but three loved ones. He will play with the older one - their interests are not so different yet. He will copy his behavior and take an example from him - therefore, develop faster. In addition, he will have a companion with whom he can watch cartoons, share toys and secrets. Often the older child becomes a protector for the younger one for life.
The difference is from five to seven: mom, dad and I are one team
Some child psychologists consider such an age gap undesirable, explaining this by the fact that the older child at this time will need to be actively prepared for school, taken to first grade, sit with him on his studies, etc. The troubles with the next baby will supposedly interfere with all this... In fact, if you systematically developed the eldest, progressively gave him age-appropriate knowledge and skills, taught him discipline and self-discipline, no disaster will happen. On the contrary, seeing how parents get tired with their baby, a conscientious older child will try to cause you less trouble. But this will only happen if you yourself have previously shown parental firmness and consistency.Benefits for parents. There is no need to fear petty competition from the older child. It is at this age that he, more than ever, is actively exploring the world, he has his own personal space - school, and new “personal” friends - classmates. At the same time, the child is already quite capable of being alone while you are busy with the baby, and providing you with all possible help with the housework. Let it be just a washed cup, or collected toys - that’s also important.
Cons for the younger one. Perhaps, negative side in such an age model there is only one - the youngest will always feel like “younger”, no matter how old he gets. Because when he was still crawling in the playpen, the brother or sister was already doing serious things - for example, doing homework. And it is only within the parental competence to ensure that the second child does not grow up to be a sissy, from whom everyone is obliged to blow off specks of dust.
Age difference of 8 years or more: it’s good to weigh the pros and cons
A late child is a subject of heated debate in society. Especially now, when the age limits of the unpleasant term “old-timer” have become blurred, and giving birth “around forty” will no longer surprise anyone. On the one hand, you are probably firmly on your feet financially, your partner’s reliability has been time-tested, and your eldest child has already become your assistant. But on the other hand, giving birth at 40 is not at all the same as at 25. And this is worth thinking about seriously.Think about it once. Before deciding to take such a responsible step, it is necessary to undergo a full medical examination and take into account all the risks. You need to be prepared for the fact that pregnancy and childbirth will be more difficult than the first time - it’s not for nothing that gynecologists equate mothers whose pregnancies are more than 10 years apart as first-time mothers. But the body did not rejuvenate during this time.
Think twice. Parental worries in mature age- not at all the same as in my youth. Do you want to start all over again, put your established way of life and your ordered life to the test? This is a very serious moment, and both spouses must make a decision here. If you are confident in psychological harmony with your life partner, everything will be easier.
Think three. Older parents are often very tempted to shift the lion's share of caring for the baby to the older child, because he has already grown up and is capable of becoming a full-fledged assistant. But the key word here is “helper,” not “backup parent” or “nanny.” Indeed, the elder is capable and even - should - provide many services in this situation, but this does not mean at all that you have the right to deprive him of his childhood, because you gave birth to the younger one for yourself, and not for him.
So, it is impossible to name the ideal age difference between children. Everywhere has its pros and cons, and everyone has their own personal circumstances. But still, choose best option It is possible by sensibly calculating your strengths and capabilities.
Until recently, it seemed to you that pregnancy, childbirth and the first months with your baby turned you into an exhausted, deflated ball. But time passes, strength returns, and you want to relive everything again. From this moment on, planning for the second pregnancy begins.
When is the best time to have a second child? It is believed that the ideal timing is 2-5 years after the first pregnancy.
This is due to hormonal changes in the body. In addition, the first pregnancy and breast-feeding lead to a deficiency of vitamins and minerals in a woman’s body. And it takes time to restore balance.
Due to hypovitaminosis, hair may fall out, nails may peel, and the skin may peel and crack. However, this is not the most important thing. For the development of a child, vitamins and minerals are again needed. As a result, the woman’s body will lose them, which can lead to even bigger problems. As a result, the risk of miscarriage increases. Or the child may be born weakened and with low weight.
While the first child is very small, asking to be held in your arms, and you are forced to carry a stroller, it is undesirable to become pregnant. After all, lifting weights over three kilograms (and the child weighs much more) is contraindicated for a pregnant woman: this is fraught with miscarriage.
If you are going to get pregnant after 2-5 years, this is the optimal time frame. The body “remembers” the first pregnancy, there is a good chance that childbirth will be faster and easier.
If you are planning a second child after 7 years or more, the body has time to “forget” about the first pregnancy and childbirth. There is nothing wrong with this, but be prepared for the fact that giving birth will be just as long and difficult as the first time.
But, of course, if you become pregnant earlier than two years or even earlier than a year, this does not mean that you need to terminate the pregnancy. Millions of women gave birth to healthy babies. And you will succeed too.
Important nuances
To decide when to plan for your second baby, it is important to consider many factors.
There is no need to rush to conceive if your first child was born with the help of caesarean section. In this case, it is imperative to examine the condition of the uterine scar, which must heal, otherwise there is a possibility that it will separate. It is optimal to become pregnant 2-3 years after cesarean section.
It is also advisable not to rush into conceiving a second child if you have been treated with antibiotics or other strong medications. This is additional stress for the body, which requires longer period d for recovery.
Boy? Girl?
Many mothers notice a trend: if you conceive in the first year and a half after the birth of your first child, then the second baby will be of the same gender. That is, if the firstborn was a girl, then in one and a half to two years you will give birth to a second one. The same applies to boys. If planning for a second child begins in two years, then there is a high probability that the children will be of different sexes. However, doctors do not confirm this version. The only way that has scientific explanation, is planning the sex of the child based on ovulation.
Firstborn's reaction
We must not forget that the birth of a second child is a responsibility and stress not only for you, but also for your firstborn. He may not understand why another child should come into your life. And even blame himself for the fact that he is doing something wrong and they want to replace him with someone else.
He definitely needs to explain that they will not love him less, that he is not to blame for anything at all, and this, on the contrary, is a great joy. Your first baby should understand that he is also responsible for his brother or sister, that he can take care of him, and in the future the children will be able to walk and play together.
When planning a second child, you need not to delay talking with the first baby so that he can mentally prepare for this. The more time he has, the easier it will be for him to accept this situation. In addition, this can be a good reason to develop independence if your first-born is already at least 3-4 years old.
Planning stages
A prepared and planned pregnancy will be very different from a spontaneous one. Naturally, in better side. Where to start planning for your second pregnancy?
Wanting a child does not mean having such an opportunity.
Which doctors should I go to?
Preparation for a second pregnancy should begin with a visit to the doctors.
- if you have chronic diseases, visit a specialized doctor, achieve remission.
- If you drink hormonal drugs(for example, for diseases of the thyroid gland), visit your endocrinologist and tell him that you are planning a child. He will adjust the dose.
- Treat your teeth.
- Visit a therapist, get tested general tests blood and urine. They will tell you if there is a causes of inflammation in the body. It is important to get treated before pregnancy. After all, a pregnant woman should not consume most medicines. And there simply won’t be enough time for treatment.
- A visit to the gynecologist is mandatory even if you feel well. After all, even slight vaginal dysbiosis (disturbance of microflora) or erosion can lead to pregnancy pathologies.
- Often women should take medications containing vitamins and folic acid. But you need to consult your doctor about this.
- It is important for the husband to visit an andrologist or urologist.
Weight and conception
When planning your second pregnancy, pay attention to yours. If it is very different from the norm (in one direction or another), this is a negative factor. Because both excess and lack of body fat affects hormonal balance.
Sometimes the only answer to the question “how to conceive a child?” - this is "reset" excess weight" Obesity should be combated gradually, carefully and proactively. Because extreme diets and excessive intense training again lead to hormonal imbalances.
The ideal weight for conception is not a “model” weight at all. Lack of fat mass is very harmful, it can lead to lack of ovulation and even amenorrhea (absence of menstruation).
Nutrition should be healthy and balanced. You should eat more fruits, vegetables, steamed and stewed dishes rich in vitamins, minerals, and microelements.
What to refuse
Here's what conscious mothers refuse:
- Alcohol
- “Unhealthy” foods: fried, smoked, fast food. Read labels: any product, even innocent ones like yogurt or cookies, can contain many harmful artificial additives.
- Smoking.
- To conceive a child, you need to stop using hormonal contraceptives. It will take at least 3 months to restore reproductive function.
This last point does not apply to the situation when a doctor prescribes COCs for pregnancy. Sometimes women come to the gynecologist with the question: “How to quickly get pregnant with a second child?” And the doctor, after examining the hormonal profile, may prescribe contraceptives for short term. Immediately after their cancellation, the likelihood of conception increases (the so-called rebound effect).
Your partner will also need some restrictions, since he also contributes to whether you can quickly become pregnant with a second child. The expectant father should not drink alcohol or go to the bathhouse or sauna. An andrologist may recommend taking medications to improve sperm quality.
First and second - is there a difference?
Planning for the second time should be approached just as thoroughly as when planning your first pregnancy. Now a woman already knows how to get pregnant, what changes occur in her body. But keep in mind that the second pregnancy is different from the first.
- Usually it is easier (although, of course, there are exceptions). The body “remembers” the process of pregnancy and childbirth and adapts to changes more easily.
- Varicose veins (if you have this problem) will get worse.
- You will feel fetal movements about a month earlier.
- The fetus is located slightly lower than with the first child. This relieves heartburn, but sometimes leads to increased urination.
- You will most likely need a bandage, even if you did not wear one during your first pregnancy.
- Childbirth goes faster. But the pain usually doesn't get better.
Psychological readiness
You need to plan your second pregnancy just as carefully as the first, and often even take a more responsible approach to this issue. Along with the physiological health of the mother, her psychological condition. For example, if there were some complications during the first pregnancy, then it is quite difficult to decide on the second. After all, experiencing the fear of losing a child again is not easy. Family relationships are also important. Preparing for a second pregnancy is much easier when you are with your husband trusting relationship when he supports, cares and also wants the baby to appear.
If the first pregnancy was easy, this does not mean that the second one should be left to chance. There will always be a difference. And if the first pregnancy was difficult, then the second, on the contrary, can pass in one breath. When deciding to conceive a second child, do not forget that two children already means a double responsibility: both psychological and material. Therefore, the issue must be approached very seriously.
