A conversation between a man and a woman about marriage. Non-verbal signs of communication between a man and a woman - how to distinguish them and why it is beneficial for us to know about them

What do men and women know? To find out how this policy of misrepresentation affects the population, we surveyed more than 10,000 men and women in nine European countries: Austria, France, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Poland, Spain, the United Kingdom, and

Differentiation of man and woman It is known that only with the onset of puberty does a strict separation of male and female characters take place; this opposition, like no other, then exerts a decisive influence on the whole way of life of people. However, male and female

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“... the psychology of communication with men for me comes down to the fact that I stopped bothering. Most men do not know how to communicate with women. My friend sometimes blurts out such things to me ... and this is called, he was joking. Before, I was nervous because of every word, thought it over, scrolled through my head, looked for the meaning, and he forgot the next day, ” writes Love.

“I read a lot of books on the psychology of communication with men, but they didn’t help me in business. Why is it so hard to talk to men? Is it because they are unable to openly express their true feelings, are closed to emotions, or are afraid of relationships? Sometimes there are situations that you just don’t know anymore, ... " Maria writes.

In fact, men lead active emotional lives. They just use a different palette of emotional colors, which is associated with their leading needs.

Many men are not ready to easily reveal their emotions because they are not as important to them as solving problems. The leading need of men is to “conquer”, go towards the goal, solve specific problems, while the leading need of women is to establish emotional relationships. Therefore, men are so responsive to recognition of their strength, the ability to keep the situation under control and so vulnerable to criticism of their abilities. Women, in turn, react painfully when a man avoids emotional contact and "goes into the cave."

Society evaluates men on their competence and ability to maintain control in any situation. Here I remembered one of my acquaintances who, by chance, worked for two years in a purely women's team as one of the employees. He was not the boss, he did not have any advantages in position and salary, but no matter what happened, no matter what unforeseen situation happened in the office, all the women immediately turned their heads in his direction and waited for him to solve the problem simply because he's a man.

If you watch how men and women train in the gym, you can notice differences in behavior. A man, having just learned a new exercise, already wants to add more weight and speed, having done it only twice. A woman will first want to understand how to perform the exercise, will do it slowly and watch to do everything right.

One of the unpleasant moments for men is to feel strong emotions and not know what to do with them. Men experience various emotions, but they are often frightened. And the natural transition from fear is anger and a desire to hide from the source of emotions. How often have you sought understanding of your subtle inner experiences from men, and how often have you found it? I'm sure many women are now sighing heavily. Sometimes it seems that men are just selfish and point-blank do not see women's experiences.

The woman who got stuck in the chimney

Once, while traveling in Europe, I accidentally stumbled upon a tragic story in a newspaper. There was a misunderstanding between a man and a woman, they began to quarrel. The woman, trying to prove her case, lost her temper and began to behave emotionally. The man, as often happens, immediately became "closed" and went into himself. He did not answer her phone calls, did not open the door of the house when she appeared to him. The woman, feeling a strong need to be understood, to explain herself and got angry that he did not allow her to speak out and decided to enter his house through the chimney from the fireplace. She climbed the fire escape to the roof of his house, began to go down the pipe and got stuck. Perhaps she called for help, but the house was private and stood aside, and the man, seeing that she was no longer knocking on his door, went out to air out. He returned home late, when the woman had already suffocated. A couple of days later, smelling it, he called the police, who found his girlfriend dead in a chimney opening.

This story teaches us a lot. In life, I observe similar situations, however, not with such a tragic end. A woman tries to reach out to a man, he closes and becomes as if deaf. If a woman does not stop and try to find another approach, she risks getting "stuck in the chimney".

There are things that our rational thinking cannot change, no matter what the pros and cons it finds. It's like going out in the rain in the morning. What do you think will happen then? If you don't have an umbrella, you will get wet. We don't like to walk around in wet clothes, but this is inevitable because rain is water. And if we do not want to get wet, we need to prepare for the rain, that is, take an umbrella with us. The same is true in, if you are not prepared, you will get some frustration. But if you know how to deal with the natural elements of the male essence, you will be protected.

To be prepared, it is already enough to know that a man always wants to be able to keep everything under control. To be a man who is confused and does not understand what is happening means for him to lose part of the male essence. A man doesn't want to feel that way.

To improve communication with a man, show him that you believe in his ability to solve problems. Or at least don't try to shake his faith in his abilities.

Communication with Men - Memo for Women

1. Men want to conquer, women want to take care of.
2. Men want to impress and arouse admiration, women want to be empathized with.
3. Men prioritize achievement, women prioritize relationships.
4. Men focus on the task and are able to ignore irrelevant information. It is easier for a woman to change tasks, giving each a certain amount of time.
5. The purpose of communication for men is to convey information, for women - to establish relationships.
6. A man in his mind can separate emotions, attitudes and information, while a woman tends to connect it all together.

For centuries, men were considered the stronger sex, they ruled the world and still rule today. We, men and women, are at different poles, so different from each other, but we do not know how or do not want to recognize this fact.

So that communication with men does not turn every minute into a struggle, a woman should have an idea (at least in general terms) about the psychology of men. For relationships to be successful, for emotional life to be vibrant, mutual understanding and the ability to communicate, as well as women's awareness of the characteristics of the psyche and male psychology, are necessary.

Influence of hormones

Why are we so different? Indeed, we differ from each other not only in gender and appearance. Differences between the sexes are already laid down on early stages conception. All thanks to different hormones. We are the result of various chemical reactions, a cocktail of chemical elements, of which the most important for men is testosterone. The same hormone responsible for success, power, struggle, sexual desire and for the existence of life on earth. It is the level of testosterone that determines psychological features men. The human brain is like a computer, and already 6-8 weeks after conception, the basic "operating system" begins to load with the main programs. Education and upbringing, on which great hopes are placed, are not able to radically change them. You can install additional programs, but based on existing ones basic programs. It's hard to argue with nature. Evolution programmed us differently, and we developed differently, each honing our abilities and inclinations so that we become what we are now.

Features of the psyche of men

Nature has given us the biological inclinations and feelings we need to live and survive in extreme conditions. What did she reward and what did she deprive the representatives of the stronger sex?

A man is stronger, faster, more energetic than a woman, but his energy is depleted faster, and he exhales earlier, gets tired faster. He is accused of laziness, but he really does not feel in the best shape after work or at the end of the day.

Men are endowed with a greater ability for spatial orientation. They are better oriented in unfamiliar areas, they can easily determine the cardinal points. This property explains their advantages in certain professions. Men have great ability to work with numbers. Mathematics is at the heart of the sciences related to computer technology. This is again related to spatial thinking. These professions are also dominated by men.

The brain of a man is somewhat larger than a woman's, but this does not affect the level of his giftedness.

But physiologists say that the specialization of the parts of the brain of a man is somewhat different than that of women. And it's no surprise that he perceives the world differently, reacting to it differently. Indeed, he hears what a woman is not able to hear, sees what she does not want, and his girlfriend cannot see. He does not pay attention to the details that are so important for a woman. And this gives rise to many problems in mutual understanding and. Knowing the features of the functioning of the male brain allows you to understand why a man acts one way or another in each specific situation and will help to overcome many problems of a psychological nature.

Communication problems

It is known that men are not as sociable as women. Why? Yes, they just do not have a special department or speech center. The entire left hemisphere of the brain is responsible for speech in men. Nature has programmed a man to act, not to communicate, to conquer the world and protect his home, his territory. For a man, talking means conveying dry facts and necessary information, and not wrapping them in emotions, since the right hemisphere is responsible for them, and it is loosely connected to the left. When a problem arises, he does not discuss it out loud with anyone, as women do. If a man sits, staring at one point, then this does not mean at all that he is bored or suffers from idleness. At this point, he is talking to himself. Do not try to find out the reason for his, as it seems to you, boredom or bad mood. He is busy: his brain is processing the information received.

The man has an analytical mind. When a woman talks about her problems, jumping from one topic to another, he is tired of her endless, emotionally flavored chatter. He can't listen for more than three minutes. Therefore, do not be offended when he interrupts you with the word: “In short!”. Keep it simple, suggesting one problem to solve. Do not interrupt a man when he is talking. And he speaks simply and clearly, using a minimum number of words. From his speech it is easy to understand what he needs at the moment. He quickly loses interest in a talkative woman: he becomes deaf from her chatter. He either speaks or listens. He cannot and cannot do both at the same time. Therefore, it is so difficult for him to prove his case in a dispute with his wife: he does not find the right words. And then verbal (verbal) aggression comes into play.

Dear women, know how to listen to your men

If you try to tell him something with hints (a favorite technique of women), then this is an empty exercise, He is not able to understand hints. Men do not know how to guess the thoughts of other people by intonation or facial expressions, since the areas of the brain responsible for establishing interpersonal contacts have not been developed in the process of evolution. He begins to feel in this situation (darling, guess what I need) not quite smart, and this confuses him and annoys him.

He is a man of action: if there is a problem, then you need to look for its solution. He is not a psychologist and all these approaches (antics and jumps, as men say) are not for him. Therefore, it is difficult for a man to adapt to work at school and find a common language with the younger generation, which is why there are so few male teachers.

Emotions of a man

The sensitivity of a man has been muted over the course of evolution, so emotions are rarely reflected on his face when communicating. The impassive expression makes him feel in control of the situation. But if emotions take over, then we will witness a verbal or. Do not think that he is an insensitive and rude blockhead. He experiences a sea of ​​emotions, but it is not accepted in modern society for him to demonstrate his feelings. Yes, he knows better than a woman to keep his emotions under control. They (men) from childhood are accustomed to hide their grievances, hide their failures and, God forbid, weakness. For him, crying or complaining means losing his image of a successful and strong man. So he endures, holding back emotions at the cost of his health.

Dear ladies! The man is extremely emotionally vulnerable. It is similar to a nut - it is covered with a hard shell on top, and inside it is soft, like a kernel. Be tactful and attentive to the man. And then he will definitely share his experiences with you.

Do not seek to lead a man's life and do not criticize him. Do not undermine his status as a successful person. We are good at doing different things. Do not fall into an edifying tone over trifles and do not utter your claims to him. Especially when he's upset.

Interests of a man

The brain of a man is programmed for objects, their shape and movement, this determines the zone of their interests. They master the subject world. It is important for them to understand the relationship of objects, the laws of their work. Look at what TV programs men like: "How it works", "How it works" and so on. Many representatives of the stronger sex are architects and builders at heart. Already at the planning stage, he sees what the result of his activities will be.

The basic need for self-realization is reflected in a man's hobbies for sports, fishing, hunting or computer games, where he can be a conqueror and winner, the best and competent among others. Therefore, he follows sports events, is interested in news in the world and in politics. It does not make sense to forbid him these types of activities or recreation. A man does not tolerate restrictions on freedom: the more prohibitions, the more desire to violate them.

Dear ladies! Learn to trust your loved ones. You can not? Then fall in love with their hobbies, and you will always be there for them. It is you who will be the best interlocutors, companions and advisers for them in their adventures.

Psychology of men: basic needs

Men and women perceive the same situation differently.

The need for security occupies an important place in the psychology of a man. For centuries it turned out that, being stronger, he took care of the safety of not only his own, but also his wife, his children, his home. He was responsible for the lives of those who belonged to him. He is a protector and provider. It remains so in our enlightened age. It is so important for him to implement this function in his family.

Lovely women! Do not strive to show the strength of your character and all the features inherent in a man. Be weak and let men show their strength and be your protector.

This allows a man to feel like the head of the family. For thousands of years it has been like that: it was he who made decisions on the most important problems. Therefore, a wise wife will always respect the decisions and arguments of her husband, emphasizing his knowledge and experience in certain matters, although, perhaps, she will do something in her own way.

The psychology of men depends on the level of development of the basic need - to assert themselves at any cost. He aims to gain power, to win in competition. His activity is aimed at achieving the goal. He evaluates himself by the success of his work and the amount of money earned. If he has a lot of problems at work, then personal relationships in the family go into the background.

Being a successful person important feature psychology of a man. At any cost, he seeks to achieve success and recognition. And here it does not matter in what area (hunting, fishing, career), the main thing is to be the best among colleagues, friends and buddies. Hear what drunk men are talking about! About his successes and achievements, about what he does best.

An important role in the psychology of a man is played by his self-esteem, which depends on the awareness of his success in life. Based on this, and the level of his claims. It is worth losing your job, not finding the application of your knowledge and abilities, losing your business or the respect of your wife, becoming insolvent in sex - and the most strong man are lost and broken. So it combines the strength and weakness of his psychology. Therefore, he, like air, needs the support of a woman. He does not like to make mistakes and even more so to admit his mistakes. For him, this is a tangible blow to pride, to his self-esteem. For him, it's like admitting defeat.

• Do not interfere in the affairs of your husband if he does not tell you about it. No need to climb to him with your advice, especially if he does not ask for it. Dare to wait. He will definitely share his problems with you, but later.
• Moreover, one should not point out his mistakes, reproach and criticize him and his actions. This is the surest and shortest path to divorce. If you are ready to give advice, do it discreetly and naturally. Let the man sincerely believe that this is his own decision.
• Know how to support your man in difficult situation. Express confidence that he will achieve his goals and cope with all difficulties.
• Never and in no way demonstrate your superiority over your husband!

Psychology of men in a stressful situation

In a stressful situation, a man goes into himself, he needs to be alone with his problem for some time, concentrate, comprehend it and find a solution. And in such a situation, a man is not able to be attentive to his household, to show care and love for his wife. If the problem is not solved quickly, he will delve into reading the newspaper, will mindlessly switch the TV from one channel to another, solve a crossword puzzle or play cards with friends in the yard. A woman perceives such behavior as an alienation of her husband, is offended. Her unfounded, according to her husband, claims irritate him.

This is where tension and misunderstanding arise in relationships.

Psychology of the "offended child" in a man

In the soul of every person lives a child with his weaknesses, childhood dreams, resentment and unfulfilled desires. This also applies to men, even the most successful and self-confident. He will always need maternal affection, attention, understanding and love, especially if he did not receive it in childhood. The task of a wise wife is to make up for this lack of love and tenderness. But everything is good in moderation. You should not get carried away with the role of a mother for your husband and treat him as little child. This can negatively affect sexual relationships.

There are different opinions about. His love is like fireworks on New Year's Eve: it shines brightly, but goes out quickly. It is good when, during the time of passion, warm emotional relationships, tender friendship and trust develop. It is bad when a man takes sexual desire for love. After all, you won’t last long on naked sex, so the search for love and new emotional relationships begins. Satisfaction of a man's sexual needs predetermines his behavior in different periods of life.

Psychology of men and age crises

A person lives in time, overcoming one period after another, experiencing difficulties, resigning himself or reborning to a new life. A person is constantly changing and not only externally, but also internally. This is the development of personality. The changes are especially pronounced in men. Each new crisis poses new challenges for him and forces him to make a choice that determines his future life path. A woman should be aware of the fact that a man is changeable. His life is not at all like a smooth road after a major overhaul: there are so many invisible bumps and potholes, obstacles and traffic jams on it. But all the drastic changes in male psychology are predictable, and this should be understood.

So man is full of contradictions and complexities. He is physically strong, robust and energetic, but less hardy than a woman. He is more susceptible to all kinds of diseases, and he is more difficult to recover. Its lifespan is significantly shorter. He is harsh on the outside, but emotionally vulnerable and vulnerable. He is sexually preoccupied, but needs a warm emotional relationship. He is capable himself, but not always ready to forgive. His psychology changes throughout life, so there is nothing permanent in it. This is how Evolution designed it.

Male psychology is such that they love with their eyes. Who doesn't like it when a beautiful woman is nearby, who causes admiring glances from other men? This is pleasant, it raises his self-esteem not only in his own, but also in the eyes of colleagues, friends and just passers-by. But is a brilliant appearance enough to conquer the man of your dreams? Of course not. To do this, you also need to know the psychology of men's behavior, which, by the way, contrary to popular belief, is no simpler than the mysterious female one.

What kind of women attract men

Beauty is a loose concept. Men have different tastes. Adjusting to the parameters of models or conducting a survey among men is stupid and inefficient. Each of them has its own type, subconscious or conscious. On the whole, a beautiful woman is one who feels herself to be beautiful. She also spreads the vibes of attractiveness around her.

For some reason, we are convinced that the secrets of seduction, like the psychology of men, are simple. Worth seeing for them long legs, thin waist, big breasts they immediately lose their heads. Therefore, we exhaust ourselves with grueling workouts, go on diets, change the shape of the breast to the detriment of health, spend a lot of money on visiting fitness clubs and salons. Meanwhile, American psychologists have found that for men, it is not so much the volumes that are important, but the proportions of the figure. And half of the representatives of the stronger sex does not pay attention to such a factor as weight at all. Therefore, it is enough to maintain the figure, monitor its fit, performing simple physical exercises or doing the necessary procedures.

Excess must be avoided. Aggressive vamp makeup and very long sharp nails- this is already an amateur. To know exactly how to win a man's heart, such subtleties must be tactfully clarified during a conversation with him. This must be done before a radical change in your image. Male psychology allows less desperate experiments with female appearance: men love variety, and novelty only spurs their interest in a woman.

Female sexuality through the eyes of men

Female sexuality is an important, if not one of the main factors of a woman's attractiveness in the eyes of a partner. And the most interesting thing is that the psychology of a man's behavior in this matter has not changed for many hundreds of years! For them there are no non-sexual women! On the other hand, there are those among us who have not yet discovered this in themselves or have not developed it to a sufficient degree. Therefore, all the cards are in our hands!

A sexy woman drives a man crazy, and one of the main manifestations of his feelings for her is that he wants her. Here the rule of the golden mean plays: one must develop female wisdom, insight in order to distinguish sincere desires from simple instinct, just as to distinguish a womanizer from a connoisseur of women.

The development of sexuality in a woman is a field for fantasy, even a whole art. Everything can be sexy: from mannerisms, behavior, voice to clothing and accessories. When developing sexual attractiveness, it is important not to be vulgar, overly open, otherwise it will only repel men. Many of us are unaware of this in an attempt to seduce a partner, trying to obsessively demonstrate to him all the charms of his figure.

Only tenderness, softness, along with awareness of one's beauty, female power create a unique sexual aura. By adding a little mystery, mystery, understatement, we can turn the head of any man who only pleases us. And isn't that wonderful?

The same goes for sexuality in clothing. Many girls naively believe that the smaller it (clothes), the better. Studies show that men consider a tight blouse, heels, a long, not short, slit skirt to be the sexiest clothes. After all, the psychology of men is based on ancient hunting instincts! Excitement in them awakens what is inaccessible, and not what itself goes into his hands.

The statement that a man wants to see a passionate lioness in bed is also not always true. Everyone has different temperaments and tastes. It is important to approach each other, and for this you need to be attentive, gentle, affectionate in bed with your loved one. Understanding the depth of his emotions and desires, the ability to generously give his love is more important than knowing different poses from the Kama Sutra. The atmosphere in the bedroom largely depends on the woman. Negative emotions should not be present there, it should be a place for relaxation, love.

Sometimes it seems to us that a man only needs sex, and emotions do not bother him. But after all and we often want only sex! In this regard, the psychology of men and women is equivalent. Why then expect from him constant romance, declarations of love? After all, sex itself is such a confession! If for some of the women this is not the case, and she shares sex and love, then she should work on herself in order to reveal her sexuality even more, to love everything connected with this.

The roots of such an attitude can, of course, go back to childhood and adolescence, when we were taught that sex is something dirty, shameful, unworthy of decent women. It is important for each of us to understand that this is an erroneous opinion. Sex is natural and beautiful, it is the opening of one's arms of love for oneself and love for men, it is a pleasure incomparable to any other. Why should we deprive ourselves of pleasure?

Mother woman: is it good

The psychology of a man and communication with him are not such simple things. Some ladies practice a condescending, motherly attitude towards opposite sex. Taking care of a man is very good. Many of them need warmth and affection. Enveloping her husband with such warmth, usually a woman, as a keeper of the hearth, a mistress, begins to involuntarily be interested in making sure that the man is well-fed and well-dressed. To some extent, it is pleasant for both a man and a woman.

However, maternal feelings should be dosed, and they should not be in excess. Otherwise, they can drown out the passion between spouses, limiting their relationship to everyday life. But female and male psychology implies a marriage union, first of all, as a union of two halves of one whole. And then everything else. This is the secret of this aspect of the relationship.

A bad sign is that a man needs maternal care too much and is looking for a woman who could replace his mother. This speaks of his infantilism and lack of independence. Such a man is hardly ripe for family life and responsibility for their actions, which is very important in a relationship.

Inspiration for a man

They say that all the wars in this world started because of women. Yes, it is a woman who has the energy that can direct the power of a real man both in a creative and destructive direction. And even though in our time duels are not made for the sake of women, but everything that a man does, he does it, in fact, for her sake. And in this regard, it is important for him that his work and achievements are appreciated by his woman. This inspires a man to even greater accomplishments.

And which of us girls does not like good gifts, travel, beautiful clothes, jewelry and perfume? It turns out that the fact that we have all this (or do not have it) also largely depends on ourselves. Even if you work, the main earner, most often, is your partner, and this is his main purpose since the time when he hunted a mammoth, and his companion sat in a cave, cooking and raising children.

Any guy is incredibly pleased to achieve something and see the admiring eyes of his woman, enthusiastic about what he does. One important secret here is praise from her. Although men are considered or appear to be mostly thick-skinned, they all like to be praised. The main thing is to do it sincerely and not to fawn.

Here, too, one must know the measure, because not a single person wants to be expected from him only ideal actions. It is also important for a man to be accepted as he is, and somewhere as a completely earthly person who also has the right to make mistakes. It's better to give constructive criticism or words of encouragement than to tell him all the time that he's a superhero. It is important that there is no negativity, but everything is done with love.

Sacrifice in relationships

The psychology of men is such that when we go to any lengths to keep a partner, it produces the exact opposite effect. To forgive everything, understand everything, agree with everything and respond with love to his boorish attitude - this humiliates the dignity of a woman. And at the same time, it humiliates the man next to whom such a woman is. Patience and sacrifice are from a completely different fairy tale, in a relationship they are useless. The secret here is simple: as much as we respect and love ourselves, so does a man. Because a woman who knows her own worth will not allow bad attitude to yourself. Such ladies, as a rule, really like the opposite sex.

If we take total submission as the secret to seducing men and let them wipe our feet, we are making a big mistake. Perhaps, such behavior will be able to bind someone (there are a lot of such examples), but who? Will he look like a real man that every woman needs? Is this the kind of relationship we want? After all, it can only be a man with many complexes, low self-esteem, most often hating women and trying to assert himself at the expense of their humiliation.

Such relationships must be terminated. Anything that causes discomfort does not deserve our time, our nerves, our lives. Yes, you can try to help a man if he wants help and appreciates it. If he himself does not want to change anything, then do not humiliate yourself. After all, this is how we miss the chance to meet another, someone who will sincerely love us! At the same time, we still spoil our nervous system, we ourselves become overgrown with complexes. As a result, such a wonderful life passes by. You need to strive for the best, then love will find you!

Expect respect and understanding from a man, while trying to respect and understand him - this is natural, correct. In such a relationship, a woman can open up like a beautiful flower. And he will be happy from this, and will become a real man. Knowing the psychology of communication with the stronger sex, we will thereby be able to create our own, unique, inimitable.

The language of men

Oddly enough, but even when a man and a woman use the same dialect in life, they still speak different languages. According to linguistic researchers, in ancient times, both sexes were well aware of this. As a result, they understood each other well. However, later both of them either forgot about linguistic differences, or ceased to reckon with them.

This situation is not observed everywhere today. In Japan, the language difference is provided not only by grammatical rules, but also by the requirements of etiquette. However, it is not only about declensions, pronouns, endings, prefixes and suffixes. The point, first of all, is that men and women express their opinions and feelings differently. It's easy to make sure. It is enough to ask the boy and the girl to retell a fairy tale. The "girl" and "boy" version will immediately differ. Their psychology is different even in childhood!

Maybe this is laid at an early age, because we raise our children according to their gender. But it is also likely that the roots of the differences are in the characteristics of the psyche and genetic memory.

If male and female languages ​​were taught at school in sex education classes, many conflicts between men and women could be avoided, because it would be much easier to understand a man. But alas, at such lessons now they teach anything, even virtuoso sex, but not the skill of communicating with the opposite sex.

As a result, each person comprehends the science of such communication independently by trial, error and stuffing cones. Yes, it’s good if he wants to comprehend, otherwise he doesn’t, he doesn’t want to! Steps all his life on the same rake. And then, when he gets tired of stomping on the rake, he either closes up or begins to have a negative attitude towards all, without exception, representatives of the opposite sex. They are all so different, so there can be no mutual understanding!

If for men the main thing is external action, then for women it is the inner world of emotions. So how then can we express our thoughts and feelings in the same way? As he contemplates how to prevent a world upheaval, she puzzles over what to make for dinner; he thinks about the consequences of the revolution in some country, she is looking for options to lose weight; he was puzzled by the global crisis, she wanted a new fur coat. Women think more narrowly and concretely than men. Men may not notice scattered socks, dirty cups, cobwebs in the corner, women see all this at once, without straining their attention. And at the same time they already know what to do with such a disgrace.

Conclusion: if the mind does not understand us, then it is impossible for men and women to project their own worldview onto each other. These are views on reality from different angles, coinciding only at some points.

Psychologically, we are different, so do not be disappointed, taking this dissimilarity for unwillingness to understand and fruitfully build relationships. It is better to take into account that men are not like us, and adjust our behavior accordingly. And as long as male psychology remains a mystery to you, you simply cannot understand it, with all your desire. Let's see what it looks like.

Men's phrases: how to treat them

We are all great inventors and tend to invent almost every line thrown by our loved ones. For example, he returned home from work in a bad mood, had dinner, gloomily threw: “I'm tired!” and collapsed on the couch in front of the TV. As he thoughtlessly flips channels, a whole armada of disturbing thoughts swirls through our minds, that he has problems at work or has a mistress.

And we also perceive the phrase "I'm tired!" like he's tired of us. After all, we have gained almost a kilogram over the past six months and have not cooked borscht for a long time.

Men are straight forward. They themselves do not know how to hint, and they do not understand hints. It is we women who can circle around the bush, come from afar, express ourselves ambiguously. And then to be offended that they didn’t perceive us as they should, didn’t guess the request and didn’t satisfy the desire. And sort things out with a husband frightened by an unexpected attack. After all, he didn’t even suspect that when we asked: “Am I a little better, dear?”, We meant that the figure was perfectly preserved! And he suddenly threw a sharp: "Yes!"

You should not try with all your might to get information out of a man. We pester them all the time with the question of what you have at work, where you have been, we are waiting for them to confirm their feelings and assurances of their own attractiveness. In response, we get indifferent: “Everything is in order”, “Went on business”, “I love you”, “You look great”.

The main part of women, for unknown reasons, for some reason, suspect their faithful of excessive secrecy. They never tell the truth, hide even the smallest things, and probably pretend at every turn. We are trying to expose them, bring them to light and force them to behave sincerely. Men begin to get nervous and angry, thereby increasing our suspicion. Still would! After all, if he freaks out, it means that he has touched a nerve, and he is definitely to blame for something!

Now let's imagine such a situation. A buyer in a manufactured goods store pestered the seller with a request to sell him a sausage. The seller answers with surprise that they do not have sausages for sale. The visitor does not calm down and continues to insist on his own: sell him a pound of amateur sausage, period! And he does not want to believe that she is simply not here. As a result, how will the seller begin to react to his persistence? Right. In the end, he will lose his temper and show the bore where the exit is.

This is what our attempts to convict a man of insincerity look like when he has nothing to hide. What kind of reaction can be expected from someone who is offended by distrust? Well, men do not know how to discuss every little thing, because they do not notice the little things! They do not understand why it is necessary to ardently confess one's love every hour, if this ardent confession has already sounded. Still, it's so clear, why repeat something 100 times?

Women, of course, like to listen to the phrase "I love you", and they are ready to listen to it again. However, men pronounce it from the bottom of their hearts only in moments of spiritual uplift. If we demand recognition several times a day, they simply give in so as not to provoke a spouse into a scandal. This alone is proof of male love. Would a husband, in the absence of love, seek to preserve peace in the family?

And since he loves, it means that extra pounds do not spoil us, and we will not hear about troubles at work once again. And about what cases he decided when he was absent, we will not know. Because loving man he will not upset his woman once again and will try to cope with all the issues himself - such is the psychology of a real knight.

From the point of view of men, a woman should not know about their problems. Does she meddle in her husband's affairs? It turns out that he does not believe in his male viability. Only a weak-minded infantile hubby will put up with this, who is just waiting for his wife to take over the solution of all issues.

If we cannot understand a man with the mind, we will act according to worldly wisdom. He stopped giving compliments, confessing his love, unshaven lounging on the couch and scratching his growing tummy? The wife should be happy. Because she is the only one whom her husband completely trusts, with whom he really feels good. Otherwise, I would not be lying here, but wandering somewhere in search of adventure. Or lovers.

He calls yellow yellow and blue blue. We can define yellow as the color of young dandelions, and replace blue with the color of the endless sea. Men will not confuse precise definition with emotion. They save the internal reserve, their time. Don't worry about it, because we all mean the same thing. Let's try to understand a loved one without further ado, paying more attention to his actions. They will tell about feelings better than beautiful phrases.

Typical female mistakes

What a pity that the science of communication with the opposite sex is not taught at school - it would be much more useful than from geometry or astronomy. So what do we women most often do wrong?

We rejoice in men's mistakes

For some reason, it is believed that being a bitch is very cool. A sort of Amazon with a bunch of male skulls impaled on a spear. As soon as a man does something wrong, makes a mistake or fails, she reacts like this: “Well? I told you! You are always…” And further in the text. Of course, the man at this moment feels humiliated and insulted. If he still has strength, he will be aggressive towards a lady who behaves this way with him. If not, then he will most likely shrink all over, pull his head into his shoulders, resign himself to the idea of ​​his complete failure. Why do you see such a semblance of a man next to you?

We demand

Each person is a separate world. Women very often forget about this, perceiving themselves and their partner as a whole. And if so, then you must have common dreams, desires and aspirations. Accordingly, when this picture does not work, the woman begins to resent, stomp her feet and hysterically demand what she, in her opinion, is rightly entitled to. Attention, care, spending time together, a magnificent wedding, a fur coat, finally. And from the male side, it looks like: "I do everything for her, but everything is not enough for her." As a result, the man gets tired of the insatiable demands of his partner and disappears over the horizon.

We induce guilt

This error is a continuation of the previous one. When the requirements of a woman become higher, the man does not leave immediately. At first, he begins to resent this behavior of his partner, then he yells at her. It is at this very moment that some women, instead of saying, “Damn, I think I overdid it!”, start to sob in harassment. Naturally, while throwing tortured glances towards the "unlucky" male. He becomes ashamed, although he himself does not fully realize why. So, the feeling of guilt becomes a familiar companion of communication between a man and a woman. How long do you think they will want to remain in this state?

importunity

This is an unpleasant character trait that many women possess. It is expressed in different actions. For example, some are able to destroy the male brain with a large number of questions per minute. Others will never leave the unfortunate partner until he does what is necessary. Still others will insist on spending time together twenty-four hours a day. In all this, the man will feel very uncomfortable. Women are trying so hard to cope with their anxiety, their inability to wait, that it sometimes goes sideways for them.

Behave like a man

One of the biggest mistakes a woman makes is when she becomes a "man". It shows up in absolutely everything. For example, in communication, a woman becomes aggressive, tough, assertive, rational and pragmatic. Gestures, demeanor also change: the gait becomes sweeping, postures - cheeky, gestures - quick and sharp. The woman lacks grace, smoothness of movements. She swears, smokes, drinks strong alcohol. Of course, he is proud of himself because he does not behave "like all these women." However, in dealing with the opposite sex, such traits are unlikely to serve her in good stead. Perhaps she will have many friends, but not a single normal man wants to build relationships with his own kind.

The art of communicating with a man

We think you understand how, as a woman, you should not behave with a partner. But what is the right course of action? Let's try to summarize everything we know. Any relationship is based on balance. How much you take, how much you need to give, and vice versa. If this does not happen, then a failure occurs. Men and women give energy differently. The first achieve something, win, protect, decide, and the representatives of the weaker sex support, console, gently care.

How is it shown? Do not get tired of complimenting a man, admiring his actions. You would be very surprised if you knew in your own skin how sad life was without male energy. Therefore, any little things in his behavior are worthy of support, whether it be a nail hammered into the wall or a sports Mercedes presented for his birthday. Man is a mirror female love if a woman believes and loves him, then he will not become a loser, and there will always be feelings between them.

You need to respect your partner - this applies to both sexes. Respect is manifested both in the inner feeling and in the outer actions. Do not tell your girlfriends how badly your man does something. You can't laugh at him in public. Give him the opportunity to make some decisions concerning the two of you. You should not climb to him with "valuable" comments, even if you know exactly how it will be better, more efficient. Respect extends to interests, hobbies, activities. Even if you don't like your partner's hobbies, you should still consider them worthy.

Surround your man with care and tenderness. At the supermarket, remember what kind of chocolate he likes and treat him to it at the next meeting. If you live together, then you can offer a man something pleasant - a glass of hot tea, a hot sandwich, or something more intimate. Care and attention are manifested in small things: when, while doing something, we think about a loved one or, for example, refuse something because it will be unpleasant for him.

Understand your partner. In general, this is not easy to do, especially when your personal ideas, delusions, and worldview interfere. If a woman begins to "think" something about her man, this is wrong. Of course, the ability to understand, feel a partner comes with time, but you need to go to it. Listen carefully to what he says. Find time to sincerely talk heart to heart, and not about all sorts of everyday and superficial things. Show a lot of patience. You should not expect this from a man, because it is a woman who, in her own way, is the strongest, most stable link in a pair.

These are elementary norms that are based on love, understanding of both your inner nature and your partner. There may be quarrels between a man and a woman over small things, or you may face crises, but the feeling that you are still together and nothing will separate you should be constant. As a rule, everything is resolved through honest, open communication with each other. Then the couple achieves true intimacy.

Signs of male love

All women want to be loved. Beloved so that it was not just a hobby on the part of men, but a real male love. Each of us dreams of such love, as described by Mikhail Bulgakov in his novel The Master and Margarita. So that “love jumped out in front of us, like a killer jumps out of the ground in an alley, and hit us both at once! This is how lightning strikes, this is how a Finnish knife strikes! In the relationship of the two, everything immediately became clear and understandable, the lovers can only enjoy their happiness.

However, in reality, such cases are rare. It often happens that quite a long time passes after meeting, and the true manifestations of male love are not visible. No, he can say kind words to his girlfriend, give her flowers, be very gentle in bed, call regularly and so on. A woman in love begins to be tormented by the question: “But how does he really feel about me?”

Asking a man about it directly in this case is useless. Men do not always answer this question with all frankness. Not because they are pathological liars. Just because the male psychology in love is very different from the female one, therefore the behavior of a man in love is as follows: sincere confessions are very difficult for him. Some of them find it much more difficult to tell the truth about their feelings than to lie.

So what about a woman? Continue month after month to hope for the seriousness of the feelings of the beloved man? And if these relationships are superficial? Break up with your current friend? And if he really feels real male love for her, but is silent due to the fact that such is the psychology of men in love? Dilemma.

And time goes by, a woman becomes more and more attached to her lover, the question of the seriousness of the relationship becomes more and more painful. What if all this is temporary, what if he doesn’t come, doesn’t call, and then completely disappears forever? Who knows how to understand it, in this very psychology of a man in love? She would have insisted on a frank answer. But he is afraid to scare him away with his perseverance ... What to do? The answer is simple. In reality, there are quite a lot of manifestations of male love, and if you notice them in the behavior of a man, you can be relatively calm - he really loves. But first, of course, you need to know what these manifestations are and what are the behavioral features of a truly loving man.

How does a man's love manifest itself?

In the subtle art of relationships, of course, women are rightfully considered masters: they are unpredictable, mysterious, and often their behavior defies any logical analysis. It is believed that men in this regard are much clearer and simpler, that there is nothing complicated in the psychology of men in love, that their behavior is no secret for women.

In fact, this is far from the case. Just in male psychology in love, there is a lot that is unclear even to specialists in this matter. One of the men, falling in love, begins to go crazy, begins to pursue his beloved at every step, sing serenades, fall asleep with expensive gifts. And then completely cools down to the object of passion, ceases to notice it.
Someone, having fallen in love, hides, behaves very carefully towards the woman he loves, diligently putting on a dismissive or abstract look. And there is such a situation when not a single gesture and not a single word betrays a man in love.

Both behaviors can be both a true manifestation of a man's love for a woman, and an expression of a temporary, albeit rather long, hobby. If the masculine gender were predictable, then women would not hesitate, not knowing how to interpret the psychology of men in love.

One of the confirmations of a true man's love for a woman was an acquaintance with his parents. The very ceremony of acquaintance was already implied as a small step to the door of a joint house and to the beginning of family life.

Over time, the age of growing up of men has also increased significantly. If earlier guys, having been demobilized, were already real men, ready to start a family and raise children, today young people under the age of thirty are still considered young men who are in no hurry to consciously acquire offspring. Here, too, sometimes such signs of male love as the acquaintance of a girl with her mother do not play any role. This is not his desire, but his mother's desire - to find out with whom her son is now dating in order to calm down or, conversely, get upset and dissuade him from rash acts in time.

So how do we know if he loves or doesn't love? How does the psychology of male love manifest itself in reality? You can check a man by touching on the topic of how many children they will have and what they will call them. And if a man maintains such a conversation, the woman concludes that he is interested in it, and he also dreams of living together. However, this is by no means a confirmation of true male love: sometimes conversations remain conversations. And the woman does not even realize that the man does not interrupt her and supports the topic only in order to maintain his own calmness.

Let's calm down. There are indicators of true male love, and they are obvious. It’s just that we haven’t paid attention to them yet, because we didn’t know that these facts indicate the seriousness of the lover’s intentions. So what are these indicators?

How to understand that a man loves you

Eight signs that your partner is serious:

1. If a man decides to part with his position as a bachelor, then with all his behavior he will demonstrate an internal identification with a woman - such is the psychology of men in love. In his conversation with her and with other people, more and more often, instead of the word “I”, the word “we” will sound. This is the subconscious perception of oneself not as a separate person, but as a person in a pair.
2. Men are very honest with themselves: if a woman is not his real man's love, then he will not spend much time on her. He will most likely spend his free hours with friends in the company, spend it on sports, fishing, some of his hobbies, and even on an extra two hours of sleep. Very rarely, men devote the bulk of their leisure time to unpromising, from their point of view, relationships. Therefore, to draw a conclusion about the quality of the relationship, you need to pay attention to the amount of time spent together.
3. These manifestations of male love are a logical continuation of the previous sign of a man in love. If a man prefers communication with a woman more than communication with other people, she can be calm - she is loved. Prioritizing communication will say more than all the words about love, which may not be true. A stable trend is very important here. In the event that a man just once or twice for the sake of a woman refused to meet with a second cousin or a neighbor in the garden (garage), this does not yet indicate his strong affection.
4. This indicator seems insignificant, but it is quite significant. If a man does not treat a woman lightly, then he will certainly give her his favorite “toy” at least for temporary use. Of course, such "toys" of an adult man are not wooden horses or constructors from childhood. For our men, these are almost all (including technically complex) devices, from watches to computers and cars. They do not like to share their favorite “toys” with strangers: they give them to those to whom they feel affection.
5. Oddly enough, but the first serious quarrel is also one of the signs of male love. These are the features of the psychology of men: they do not waste time, energy and nerves on a real quarrel with a woman if they do not plan to be with her for as long as possible. With women who do not cause much interest, men behave differently. If a conflict is brewing, they simply turn around and leave, not allowing the showdown to continue. Of course, with a major quarrel, you can be sure of the seriousness of the man’s intentions only if it ended in reconciliation. In some cases, men themselves provoke a scandal in order to break up with a woman.
6. The most significant indicator of a man's love is the acquaintance of a woman with her friends. This step is often much more important than even introducing the chosen one to the parents. Friends are often part of a man's most consecrated society and are in some way a kind of association in which he can afford to be himself. And not every woman is awarded an invitation to this closed world. And if she was already invited there, then this means that the opinion and support of his friends regarding his choice is important for a man. In addition, meeting friends indicates trust in the woman herself.
7. A very good indicator that true male love has really settled in the heart of a lover is a joint activity initiated by a man. " Joint labor unites,” the cat Matroskin said wisely. Indeed, a common cause brings people together. It is desirable that this was not work, but, for example, a trip to the forest for mushrooms, harvesting in the country, cleaning the garage, and so on. From the point of view of psychologists, when a man and a woman do something together in everyday life, the following happens: in the male subconscious, information is firmly settled that this woman can not only have fun in life, but also help get daily bread.
8. If a man himself begins not only to talk about a joint future, but also takes concrete steps in this direction, then a woman can be congratulated. This is the main sign of a seriously in love man. He has already decided everything in favor of family life, and now he is starting to act actively. Psychologists advise to always evaluate the attitude of a man towards a woman by his actions. After all, it is much easier to pronounce words than to carry out a specific task or take responsibility for solving some problems that a woman has.

It is not difficult to give a gallant hand, open a door in front of a lady or pay for it in a restaurant. And such behavior is nothing more than polite courtesy, which should not be given much importance. If a man helped with the move from rented apartment, began to repair in a new one, repaired a faucet in an old one, and so on - this is already a real act of a future husband.

So, the psychology of men in love has already become more understandable to us, and we already know several signs that the chosen one is serious. We begin to analyze his actions based on these signs. The presence of even all these signs cannot give a 100% guarantee of a man's decisive intentions, ending with a trip to the registry office, - anything can happen in life.

It also happens that a truly in love man, who has already offered his hand and heart to his chosen one, suddenly changed his mind at the last moment. It is very expensive, this man's freedom! Therefore, you should not artificially limit it and rush things. Let the beloved come to the right decision himself.

Psychological types of men

Audials, visuals, kinesthetics - this is a simplified gradation of men, based on how they are used to receiving information and sharing it with the outside world. Since in its pure form it is not possible to meet a bright representative of any of these psychological types, the division is rather conditional, with rather blurred boundaries. We are all a mixture of certain qualities, but looking more closely, you can see what dominates in us, plays the most striking role in our behavior. And then build a strategy to win the heart of your chosen one.

Auditory man

If your man is auditory, then keep in mind that you got a great rarity. Among men, this psychological type is the least common, for some reason nature ordered it that way. You will immediately determine that this particular man is in front of you, according to the following signs:

• He uses in his speech such phrases as "I'm listening to ...", "Listen to me ...", "How noisy ...", "How quiet ...", "I don't want to hear this."
• He loves to listen to music, he has all the collections of his favorite artists, and only in the best quality.
• Most likely, this man will have a good ear for music, and if his life is not connected with a creative profession, then he quite finds use for his musical talents in a hobby (for example, singing in karaoke).
• Best of all, he remembers information by ear. After watching the film, he can easily quote you the phrases you like exactly, miraculously conveying even the subtleties of the intonation he heard.

For such men, the world is filled with sounds: quiet and loud, melodic and harsh, pleasant and disgusting. A melody heard by chance can awaken many feelings, associations and emotions in his subconscious, and the phrase that a word can also hurt, acquires the clearest and most concrete meaning when communicating with such men.

You will charm him if:

• You have a beautiful melodic voice and good diction. If by nature you did not get vocal data, then it is in your hands to improve what you have through various exercises.
• Be generous with compliments. Here there is an opportunity to catch two birds with one stone at the same time: there are few people who can be indifferent to approving words addressed to them, and if they are uttered by a charming female voice, then the male soul will surrender without a fight.
• You will begin to understand music, performers and be able to distinguish the sound quality in his car compared to others.
• Dedicate a song or poem to him, even if he is not at all a romantic at heart. Hearing beautifully designed words of sympathy and love, he will definitely not be able to remain indifferent.

What to do is prohibited:

• Shouting and boycotting are equally useless and can only harm you. The psychology of any man in a relationship does not accept such rather categorical measures, but it is especially important to remember this when you are dealing with a man who perceives information by ear.
• Avoid foul language, in fact, this has little to do with femininity, and in a situation with an auditory man, the importance of each spoken word increases exponentially.

visual man

This is a very common type. To determine that you are dealing with exactly this, it is possible by the following signs:

• In his speech, you can often hear such words as: “Look at me”, “Until I see it with my own eyes, I won’t believe it”, “I see perfectly”, “Wait and see”, “It was ugly”.
• It is important for him how you look, how he looks, appearance plays a very important role for such men.
• He just has amazing visual memory: He will be able to remember a face or place he once saw, even after a long time.
• He likes watching movies more than listening to music, and also likes to surround himself with beautiful things that he enjoys admiring.

You will turn his head if:

• You are attractive or know how to correctly present your external advantages and hide some of the shortcomings. well-groomed girl, which monitors its appearance, has every chance to attract the attention of men of this type.
• Write letters to him, and do it with imagination: choose an unusual design for your message and write it own hand, and do not print on your computer.
• Try to always look great: these men “love with their eyes” in the literal sense, and how much effort you put into your own appearance, so much of his attention to you will come back.
• You will leave him speechless by dancing a private dance for him once, he will be at your feet immediately.
• Even when preparing food, you will delight his eyes - beautifully set the table, use beautiful kitchen utensils.

Here's what you shouldn't do:

• Forget about the fact that there are hairdressers, manicure and pedicure masters, cosmetologists, shops in the world. fashion clothes, fitness clubs and other places that help women look charming. With this man, you should not be afraid to pay increased attention to your appearance. He just approves of everything that you do to look your best, because you are trying for him, for your beloved.
• Criticize his appearance, report (even with the best of intentions) that someone looks better, stylish, young, and so on. It is not necessary to explain why this should not be done.

Kinesthetic man

Your man is kinesthetic if:

• He learns the world through touch, feelings of comfort or his absence near him.
• You understood this because he wants to touch you himself and he is clearly pleased if you touch him.
• In his speech, you hear such phrases as “It touched me”, “It does not concern me”, “I feel”, “He is cold”, “I hug you”.
• He likes to lie in the bath, eat delicious food, he likes to play sports and other physical activities.

This psychological type is most common among men, so we advise you to take a closer look at your chosen one. Most likely, you will see many signs that indicate that he belongs specifically to kinesthetics. Develop an appropriate strategy to win this man: psychologists say that they are suitable for the role of head of the family.

How to charm him:

• Touching, kissing, caressing, hugging, and most importantly - amazing sex: these are the means that will help you fall in love with a kinesthetic man.
• “The way to a man's heart is through his stomach,” clearly refers to men of this psychological type. Cook delicious food for him. He, like no one else, will be able to appreciate your culinary talents.
• Use spirits. Let your fragrance firmly engraved in his memory, evoking associations with warmth, tenderness, comfort. For him, this is the most powerful emotion.
• Touch him more often, do a massage, this man admires such expressions of feelings.

You don't need to do this:

• Use as an argument in conflict situations weaning from the matrimonial bed, as well as from such natural manifestations of caring for her man as preparing delicious food and clean clothes. Sooner or later, such manipulations will force the kinesthetic male to seek warmth, comfort and understanding elsewhere. His male point of view will be as follows: they are depriving me of the most valuable thing, which means that I am not at court here.
• These men are most pleased with the manifestations in a woman of her primordial features, such as softness, femininity, housekeeping. Therefore, they will not be able to do justice to your career achievements, especially if it comes at the expense of the family. You will either have to make every effort so that your man does not feel deprived of attention, or sacrifice your own career heights in some way.

The role of a woman in the life of a beloved man

For every man it is possible to pick up a magic key that can open the doors of his heart. After all, women, unlike men, are still more subtle psychologists, it is easier for us to hear the inner voice of a partner. So let's use nature itself for our own good, to always see, hear and feel the love coming from your chosen one.

Talk 30