In the modern practice of family education, three styles (types) of relationships are quite clearly distinguished: authoritarian, democratic and permissive attitude of parents towards their children.

The authoritarian style of parents in relations with children is characterized by severity, exactingness, and categoricalness. Threats, prodding, coercion are the main means of this style. In children it causes a feeling of fear and insecurity. Psychologists say that this leads to internal resistance, which manifests itself externally in rudeness, deceit, and hypocrisy. Parental demands cause either protest and aggressiveness, or ordinary apathy and passivity.

In the authoritarian type of parent-child relationship, A. S. Makarenko identified two varieties, which he called “the authority of suppression” and “the authority of distance and swagger.” He considered the authority of suppression to be the most terrible and savage type of authority. Cruelty and terror are the main features of this attitude of parents (usually fathers) towards children. Always keeping children in fear is the main principle of despotic relationships. This inevitably leads to raising children who are weak-willed, cowardly, lazy, downtrodden, “slush,” embittered, vindictive and, often, selfish.

The authority of distance and conceit is manifested in the fact that parents, either “for educational purposes” or due to current circumstances, try to be away from their children - “so that they can amuse themselves.” Contacts with children of such parents are extremely rare; they entrusted their upbringing to their grandparents. Parents do not want to lose their prestige in the eyes of their children, but they get the opposite: the child’s alienation begins, and with it comes disobedience and difficulty in educating.

The liberal style presupposes forgiveness and tolerance in relations with children. The source is excessive parental love. Children grow up undisciplined and irresponsible. A. S. Makarenko calls the permissive type of relationship “the authority of love.” Its essence lies in indulging the child, in the pursuit of child affection by showing excessive affection and permissiveness. In their desire to win a child, parents do not notice that they are raising an egoist, a hypocritical, calculating person who knows how to “play along” with people. This, one might say, is a socially dangerous way of relating to children. A. S. Makarenko called teachers who show such forgiveness towards a child “pedagogical beasts” who carry out the most stupid, most immoral type of relationship.

The democratic style is characterized by flexibility. Parents, motivating their actions and demands, listen to the opinions of their children, respect their position, and develop independent judgment. As a result, children understand their parents better, grow up reasonably obedient, proactive, and with a developed sense of self-esteem. They see in parents an example of citizenship, hard work, honesty and the desire to raise children as they themselves are.

1. Methods of raising children in the family

The ways (methods) by which the purposeful pedagogical influence of parents on the consciousness and behavior of children is carried out do not differ from general methods of education, but have their own specifics:

The influence on the child is individual, based on specific actions and tailored to the individual.

The choice of methods depends on the pedagogical culture of the parents: understanding of the purpose of education, parental role, ideas about values, style of relationships in the family, etc.

Therefore, family education methods bear a vivid imprint of the personality of their parents and are inseparable from them. How many parents - so many varieties of methods. For example, some parents’ persuasion is a gentle suggestion, while others have a threat, a scream. When a family's relationship with children is close, warm, and friendly, the main method is encouragement. In cold, alienated relationships, severity and punishment naturally prevail. The methods are very dependent on the educational priorities set by the parents: some want to instill obedience - therefore the methods are aimed at ensuring that the child fulfills the demands of adults without fail; others consider it more important to teach independent thinking and initiative and usually find appropriate methods for this.

All parents use common methods of family education: persuasion (explanation, suggestion, advice), personal example, encouragement (praise, gifts, interesting prospects for children), punishment (deprivation of pleasures, refusal of friendship, corporal punishment). In some families, on the advice of teachers, educational situations are created and used.

There are various means of solving educational problems in the family. Among them are the word, folklore, parental authority, labor, teaching, nature, home life, national customs, traditions, public opinion, spiritual and family climate, press, radio, television, daily routine, literature, museums and exhibitions, games and toys, demonstrations, physical education, sports, holidays, symbols, attributes, relics, etc. .

The choice and application of parenting methods is based on a number of general conditions:

Parents’ knowledge of their children, their positive and negative qualities: what they read, what they are interested in, what assignments they carry out, what difficulties they experience, what relationships they have with classmates and teachers, with adults and with younger people, what they value most in people, etc. . d. Seemingly simple information, but 41% of parents do not know what books their children read, 48% - what films they watch, 67% - what music they like; More than half of parents cannot say anything about their children's hobbies. Only 10% of students answered that their families know where they go, who they meet, and who their friends are. According to sociological research (1997), 86% of young offenders behind bars responded that their parents did not control their late returns home.

The personal experience of parents, their authority, the nature of family relationships, and the desire to educate by personal example also affect the choice of methods. This group of parents usually chooses visual methods and uses teaching relatively more often.

If parents prefer joint activities, then practical methods usually prevail. Intensive communication during joint work, watching TV, hiking, walking gives good results: children are more frank, and this helps parents understand them better. If there is no joint activity, there is no reason or opportunity for communication.

The pedagogical culture of parents has a decisive influence on the choice of methods, means, and forms of education. It has long been noted that in families of educated people, children are always better brought up. Consequently, learning pedagogy, mastering the secrets of educational influence is not a luxury at all, but a practical necessity. “The pedagogical knowledge of parents is especially important during the period when the father and mother are the only educators of their child... From the ages of two to six years mental development“, the spiritual life of children depends decisively on... the elementary pedagogical culture of the mother and father, which is expressed in a wise understanding of the most complex mental movements of a developing person,” wrote V. A. Sukhomlinsky.

Question proper upbringing Children in a family are asked sooner or later by every parent. Moreover, it is very important to choose the right approach and methods to make the child feel comfortable in the education process. In this article we will talk about the basic methods of education, as well as possible problems that may arise when communicating with a child.

Methods of raising children in the family

The methods by which children are raised within the family are basically no different from traditional pedagogical methods of education, however, they still have their own characteristics. For example, it is necessary to take into account that the influence of parents on a child should be purely individual and based on specific actions. The choice of educational methods in most cases depends on the pedagogical and social culture of the child’s parents. They must clearly understand the purpose of education, their role in the formation of a future personality, and also have an adequate system of values ​​and ideas about education.

The main condition for proper upbringing of children is a warm, pleasant and comfortable atmosphere in the family for the child. Avoid quarrels and expressing negative emotions in front of children; if a child disobeys, do not use force or yell at him. Also, the choice of method depends on the priorities set by the parents in education: some want to instill obedience, so the technique is aimed at developing obedience and fulfilling all the demands of adults, while others would like to teach their child independent thinking and taking initiative, for which there is a separate group of methods.

There are the following general methods of raising children in a family:

1. Conviction, which includes explanation, suggestion, advice, personal example of parents.

2. Encouragement (praise, gifts, interesting prospects for children)

3. Punishment (deprivation of pleasures, refusal of friendship, corporal punishment). This method of education is the least suitable for the healthy development of a child.

Problems of raising children in the family

When raising children in a family, the following problems may arise:

1. The predominance of material values ​​over spiritual ones in rich families. These false values ​​are instilled in the child by parents from birth.

2. Psychological problems parents and the lack of spirituality of parents who should set an example for their children.

4. Heavy psychological climate in family.

5. Psychological pressure, physical punishment of children by parents, etc.

Remember that the method you choose to raise your child will definitely affect the development of his personality in the strongest possible way!

In family upbringing, the child is spontaneously affected by the circumstances of the family’s life and its immediate environment, material and moral conditions, and the entire atmosphere with a positive and negative orientation. Family relationships are expressed in family education tactics. Each family has its own characteristics of family education. Developing these nuances is a search for the right starting point in education. Let's consider several features of family education that are most common in modern Russian families.

In cases where the interests of the child are above all for parents, they subordinated all their desires and needs to them, literally turning into slaves of their son or daughter - this is a position based on parental myopia. Such parents, as a rule, grow up to be egoists or people who are not accustomed to anything, weak-willed, and weak-willed.

When parents put their own interests above all else, pay little attention to the desires and needs of the child, and live only “for themselves” - we can talk about parental egoism. In such families, often uninitiated, passive children grow up who do not have their own opinions, or, on the contrary, they are aggressive and live their own interests.

When choosing methods of family education, parents must remember that a lot depends on their behavior and relationships, including the moral development of the child. And so let’s look at the methods of family education in foreign pedagogy.

Experts, both in Russia and abroad, have come to the simple truth that it is possible to properly organize the upbringing of children in a family through the skillful application of scientifically based methods of influence.

In foreign pedagogy, there are many different methods of family education: methods of shaping consciousness, behavior and activity, stimulation, etc. Many foreign methods of family education have passed into domestic pedagogical science. Let's look at some of them. Every parent strives to lead the child to understand what is good, what is bad, what should be strived for and what should be avoided.

Elementary methods of family education, common to humans and animals, are outlined in the wonderful book by American trainer and psychologist Karen Pryor 1 “Don’t Growl at the Dog.” Let's get to know some of them.

The author believes that “positive reinforcement” is something pleasant for the student, coinciding with some of his actions and leading to the likelihood of repeating this action. Already existing behavior, no matter how random, can be strengthened through positive reinforcement. For example, you call a puppy, it comes up to you and you pet it. In the future, this reaction of the puppy to your call will become more and more reliable. Smiles and praise are not suitable as reinforcers if the person to whom they are addressed wants to make you angry.

An undeserved jackpot, as a method of family education in foreign pedagogy, is that the child is given a reward that is ten times greater than the usual reinforcement and is a surprise for him.

Conviction as a method of education in the family very often comes to the aid of parents. The content and form of beliefs must correspond to the level age development child. Sometimes parents underestimate the fact that a child is capable of feeling the sincerity or insincerity of his words by the intonation of his voice, by the external expression of his voice. The use of persuasion as a method of education requires high parental authority, which gives the influence of the persuader the power of inspiring influence. One of the common methods of persuasion: showing the consequences of an action that for some reason were not noticed by the child himself.

It is necessary to use persuasion as a method of education in the family, tangibly starting from that knowledge, that life experience, from those feelings that already have moral significance for the child. When they want, especially to teenagers and high school students, to prove the immorality of some act, they resort to another technique: they draw a parallel between them and the negative character trait that is reflected in the committed act. However, this method of family education will produce the desired pedagogical effect only if the child himself condemns the character trait that is associated with his action.

Encouragement is also a method of education in the family. It must be used skillfully. When a child is praised, approved, gifted beyond measure for every trifle, when he is admired too often, he gradually becomes vain, immodest, too arrogant, a spoiled person. When assessing the behavior of children, choosing a measure of reward for a good deed, it is necessary to take into account the motives that guided the children in performing this or that action. Encouragement as a method of education in the family always involves serious demands on the individual. They approve, praise, thank, reward for the fact that the child was able to force himself to fulfill some difficult requirements for him. It is important that the teenager's joy and success are noticed. Your understanding and sympathy will give him confidence in his abilities and help create a good microclimate in the family. If the child got up on time and fulfilled some of your requirements without objection, do not skimp on encouragement.

Organizing a game for educational purposes can also serve as an incentive option. The use of games as an incentive option is due to the fact that the role of games in education is very high.

Sometimes it is necessary to wean a child from some unwanted behavior. There are the following methods of family education, such as weaning methods:

physical removal;

punishment;

negative reinforcement;

treat;

development of non-cooperative behavior;

connection of behavior with a specific stimulus;

formation of the absence of unwanted behavior;

change of motivation.

For example, giving a treat is ignoring a behavior you want to stop. Ignoring, as a method of weaning, means a lack of reinforcement. Reinforcement of this undesirable behavior is the reaction to this particular behavior. That is, this method of unlearning is that you behave as if this behavior does not exist at all. But you need to ignore the behavior, not the person.

Among family education methods, the formation of the absence of unwanted behavior is a very important method of weaning. It is extremely simple and consists in the fact that any behavior except unwanted behavior is reinforced. The most common weaning method in family education is punishment. Punishment works relatively successfully only when the unwanted behavior has not yet become a habit, and the punishment itself is a surprise to the person being taught. Punishment should not be considered by the child as arbitrariness or revenge on your part. Only when the child himself admits that the punishment is fair does it have an educational effect.

When using punishment as a method of family education, do not under any circumstances insult the child or offend his personality. It is advisable for the child to know in advance that for certain offenses a certain punishment awaits him; it is even better that he himself participates in the development of this system of punishment, then it is perceived as a natural consequence of the offense. When punishment is imposed, never again think about it or the action that caused it. Do not change your usual style of communication with your child because of his misconduct, do not sulk, do not be offended by him - by doing this you are not only punishing him for his misconduct, but also condemning him, his personality.

If the family has such a strong influence on the processes and results of personality development, then it is the family that society and the state should give priority to in organizing the correct educational influence.

Methods of raising children in the family- these are the ways through which the purposeful pedagogical influence of parents on the consciousness and behavior of children is carried out.

Methods of family education bear a vivid imprint of the personality of the parents and are inseparable from them. How many parents - so many varieties of methods.

Basic methods of family education:

• persuasion (explanation, suggestion, advice);
• personal example;
• encouragement (praise, gifts, interesting prospects for children);
• punishment (deprivation of pleasures, refusal of friendship, corporal punishment).

Factors in choosing methods for family education of children:

• Parents’ knowledge of their children, their positive and negative qualities: what they read, what they are interested in, what assignments they carry out, what difficulties they experience, etc.
• Personal experience parents, their authority, the nature of relationships in the family, the desire to educate by personal example also affects the choice of methods.
• If parents prefer joint activities, then practical methods usually prevail.

The pedagogical culture of parents has a decisive influence on the choice of methods, means, and forms of education. It has long been noticed that in families of teachers, educated people, children are always better brought up.

20. Describe the main styles of family education

The attitude towards upbringing in the family, as a relatively uncomplicated matter and accessible to everyone, was formed on the basis of the practice of education in the past, when, in conditions of strict family morals, easily exercised control, early involvement of the child in productive work and relatively simple requirements for the individual, it did not represent special difficulties. Today, the educational tasks of family and society have become more complex; The demands placed on the individual have increased immeasurably. Society and family are faced with problems that cannot be solved only on the basis of intuition and empirically found techniques, without the appropriate theoretical arming of parents with the necessary psychological and pedagogical knowledge.

Speaking about family education, first of all, it should be borne in mind that this is a controlled system of relationships between parents and children. And the leading role in this system belongs to parents. Therefore, it is they who need to know what forms of relationships with their own children contribute to harmonious development children's psyche and personal qualities, and which, on the contrary, prevent the formation of normal behavior in them and, for the most part, lead to difficulty in educating and personality deformation.

In addition, it is of no small importance in in this case has knowledge of the main differences between family education and public education. Despite the fact that their main goals coincide, such unity of family and public education does not at all indicate their identity. One of the features of family education is the pronounced emotional form of the relationship between parents and children, in a relationship of love. But, as we know, love alone is not enough for the full upbringing of a person; moreover, unconditional parental love often leads to the formation of such personality traits that can be conditionally designated by the concept of “spoiled child syndrome.” At the same time, we should not forget that raising your own children is much more difficult than raising other people’s children. Public education takes place within a certain organizational framework (school, out-of-school institution, Orphanage), and the organization of this education is systematic. This education is not only specially organized, but also deliberate, controlled, and conducted by specialists. Concerning home education, then it often proceeds chaotically, “smeared” over time and dispersed in everyday troubles.

It interferes with raising your children:
- Fatigue, which a person is forced to suppress at work, forcing himself to perform official duties. At home, sometimes he allows himself to relax, believing that tomorrow he will definitely take care of the child seriously.
- Unorganized life, leading to disagreement between parents, disordered life, and lack of system. Therefore, while solving everyday problems, the child can be dealt with only occasionally; the rest of the time he is left to his own devices. Because of this, not receiving proper attention in the family and showing interest on the part of the parents in solving the issues and problems that concern him, he is forced to seek mutual understanding and support “on the side.”
- Communication between parents and children most often takes place in the sphere of everyday life and recreation, hence the limited understanding of their children’s shortcomings: it is difficult for them to imagine how their child behaves with other adults, how he interacts with classmates in educational and extracurricular situations, and how he relates to his assignments in class, etc.
- Insufficient level of pedagogical training of parents: some do not even have a minimum of pedagogical knowledge; others lack teaching skills; still others simply do not understand the importance of specific child-rearing methods. The inability of parents to raise children leads to a violation of the choice of measures in upbringing (lack of exactingness, unity of requirements, incorrect use of punishment and reward, suppression of the child’s personality, use of physical punishment and etc.).

Wrong choice of forms, methods and means pedagogical impact, as a rule, leads to the development of unhealthy ideas, habits and needs in children, which place them in abnormal relationships with society. Quite often, parents see their educational task as achieving obedience. Therefore, they often don’t even try to understand the child, but try to teach, scold, read long notations as much as possible, forgetting that notation is not a lively conversation, not a heart-to-heart conversation, but the imposition of “truths” that seem indisputable to adults, but children are often not perceived and accepted because they are simply not understood. Such a surrogate of upbringing gives formal satisfaction to parents and is completely useless (harmful!) for children raised in this way.

One of the features of family education is the constant presence before the children’s eyes of a model of their parents’ behavior. By imitating them, children copy both positive and negative behavioral characteristics and learn rules of relationships that do not always correspond to socially approved norms. Ultimately, this can result in antisocial and illegal behavior.

The specific features of family upbringing are most clearly manifested in a number of difficulties that parents face and the mistakes that they make, which cannot but have a negative impact on the formation of the personality of their children. First of all, this concerns the style of family education, the choice of which is most often determined by the personal views of parents on the problems of development and personal development of their children.

One of the key problems in solving many problems is the problem of family. F. Engels wrote that " modern society- This is a mass consisting entirely of individual families. Like its molecules.” The family, as if in miniature, reflects the picture of those “...opposites and contradictions in which society moves...” Raising children in the family puts forward several aspects to the family problem: strengthening and preserving the family (reducing divorces, raising children in single-parent families), caring for children about parents (raising in schoolchildren a correct, cordial and humane attitude towards parents, relatives and friends).

Each family has its own rules. Each individual family is a unit of society, and it lives by its own established rules. In most cases, the father plays the role of head of the family. He allows (or not) the child to go somewhere or not, to do something or not to do something. This happens in intact families. But, unfortunately, there are also types of families in which there is only a mother (sometimes only a father) and a child. Most often this happens due to parental divorce. Of course, it is difficult for a child to live in such a family. He does not feel completely protected; he is envious if his friends have both a mother and a father. And he only has one of his parents. He cries more often, gets sick, and gets offended. Sometimes children are raised only by their grandparents. Although such a child has parents, only grandparents are involved in raising him. Parents either travel frequently for work or are simply very busy and do not have time to care for their own children.

The family, considered as the primary unit of society, is very diverse. The school needs to take into account the peculiarities of the family structure in order to organize joint activities with it in raising children. Typically, an independent living family consists of 2 generations - parents and children. Often, grandparents also live with this family. Single-parent families have a number of options for their structure - mother, grandmother, grandfather; only one mother and child(ren); only father, children and grandmother, etc.

Families can be complete, but with a mother or stepfather who is not the child’s own, or with new children. There may be intact families of the basic structure, but there may be dysfunction in the family. All this creates a special atmosphere in which the school student finds himself, which determines the strength and direction of the educational influence of the family on the student.

Much in solving educational problems depends on who in the family is primarily involved in raising children, who is their main educator. Most often, this role is played by the mother, often the grandmother living in the family. Much depends on whether the mother works or not, what her workload is like, how much time she can devote to her child, and most importantly, whether she wants to raise him, whether she is truly interested in the child’s life. The role of the father is also great, although fathers often withdraw from raising their children, entrusting it to the mother.

Family- this is the primary source of everything that is invested in the upbringing and formation of the child’s personality at home; it is a microenvironment that combines its impact on the child with the impact from the school.

Parenting in a family can be very different - from absolute total control to inattention to your child at all. It is best when parents look (unobtrusively) over their child, constantly advise him on what to do (again, unobtrusively, but playfully), when the child and parents do something together, for example, homework, or do something together. This is bearing fruit. Such children have a very developed mutual understanding with their parents. They obey them. And, listening to their opinion, children are ready to constantly help such parents, and, as a rule, the academic performance of such children is at the proper level. There are several models of family education.

1. Situations of advance by trust (A. S. Makarenko), when trust is given in advance to a person who has not yet become strong, but is already ready to justify it. Conditions are created in the family for expression of trust on the part of parents.

2. The situation of unconstrained compulsion (T. E. Konnikova) is a mechanism of influence of a specific situation not in the form of an uncompromising demand of parents, but in the form of updating existing motives of behavior in new conditions that ensure active participation in the life of the family, due to which the position of the subject is formed, creative accomplice.

3. Model of family education (O. S. Bogdanova, V. A. Krakovsky), when the child is faced with necessity and gets the opportunity to make an independent choice of action (of course, under the control of adults). Sometimes the situation of choice takes on the character conflict situation, in which there is a clash of incompatible interests and attitudes (M. M. Yashchenko, V. M. Basova).

4. Model of family education, where there is a situation of creativity (V. A. Krakovsky). Its essence is to create conditions in which the child’s fiction, imagination, fantasy, his ability to improvise, and the ability to get out of a non-standard situation are actualized. Every child is talented, you just need to develop these talents in him, create conditions for the child that will be most acceptable for him.

The choice of family education model depends, first of all, on the parents. It is necessary to take into account the age of the child, his psychological characteristics, level of development and education. L.N. Tolstoy emphasized that raising children is only self-improvement, which no one helps as much as children. Self-education is not something auxiliary in education, but its foundation. “No one can educate a person if he does not educate himself,” wrote V. A. Sukhomlinsky.

Forms of education– these are ways of organizing the educational process, ways of expediently organizing collective and individual activities of children. When a creative environment is created in the family, children begin to “open up” and pour out all their emotions and experiences in this creativity.

It depends on the parents which model of education to choose. The main thing is that it suits the child being raised more than other models.

Family is of great importance for a person and for a child in particular. This is a socio-pedagogical group of people designed to optimally satisfy the needs for self-preservation and self-affirmation of each of its members.

Family education is a system of upbringing and education that develops in the conditions of a particular family through the efforts of parents and relatives.

Family education should prohibit corporal punishment and reading other people's documents. You shouldn’t moralize, talk a lot, demand immediate obedience, don’t indulge, etc. All principles say one thing: children are welcome not because of what they do homework, help around the house or behave well. They are happy because they exist.

The content of family education covers all areas. The family carries out the physical, aesthetic, labor, mental and moral education of children, and it changes from age to age. Gradually, parents, grandparents, and relatives give children knowledge about the world around them, nature, society, production, professions, technology, and form experience creative activity, develop some intellectual skills, and finally, cultivate an attitude towards the world, people, profession, life in general.

A special place in family education is occupied by moral education, primarily the cultivation of such qualities as: benevolence, kindness, attention and mercy to elders and the weak, honesty, openness, hard work. Sometimes obedience is included here, but not everyone considers it a virtue.

In the coming years, religious education with its cult will come to many families human life and death, with respect to universal human values, with many sacraments and traditional rituals.

The goal of family education is the formation of such personality qualities that will help to adequately overcome the difficulties and obstacles encountered on the path of life. Development of intelligence and creativity, primary experience labor activity, moral and aesthetic education, emotional culture and physical health of children, their happiness and well-being - all this depends on the family, on the parents, and all this constitutes the tasks of family education. It is the parents - the first educators - who have the greatest influence on the child in the first years of his life. Family education has its own methods, or rather the priority use of some of them. This is leading by example, discussing, trusting, showing, showing love, etc.

Often parents raise their children the same way they were raised. It is necessary to understand that a child is also a person, albeit a small one. It needs its own approach. It is necessary to take a closer look at your child, study his habits, analyze his actions, draw appropriate conclusions and, based on this, develop your own method of upbringing and teaching.

Problems in family education arise mainly due to misunderstanding between children and parents. Children (teenagers) begin to want more, parents do not allow it, children begin to get angry, and conflicts occur. Family education begins with love for the child. If this fact is not strongly expressed or not expressed at all, then problems begin in the family - sooner or later.

Neglect and lack of control often occur in families. This happens when parents are too busy with their own affairs and do not pay due attention to their children. As a result, children wander around the street, left to their own devices, start searching and end up in bad company.

It also happens the other way around, when a child is overprotected. This is overprotection. The life of such a child is constantly controlled, he cannot do what he wants, he waits all the time and at the same time is afraid of orders. As a result, he becomes nervous and unsure of himself. This ultimately leads to mental disorders. The child accumulates resentment and anger for this attitude, and in the end, the child may simply leave home. Such children begin to fundamentally violate prohibitions.

It happens that a child is raised according to the type of permissiveness. Such children are allowed everything, they are admired, the child gets used to being the center of attention, all his desires are fulfilled. When such children grow up, they are not able to correctly assess their capabilities. As a rule, people do not like such people, they try not to communicate with them and do not understand them.

Some parents raise their children in an environment of emotional abandonment and coldness. The child feels that his parents (or one of them) do not love him. This condition is very painful for him. And when one of the other family members is loved more (the child feels this), the child reacts much more painfully. In such families, children may grow up neurotic or embittered.

Harsh upbringing occurs in families when a child is punished for the slightest offense. Such children grow up in constant fear.

There are families where the child is raised in conditions of increased moral responsibility. Parents instill in the child that he is simply obliged to live up to the numerous expectations of his parents, and he is also entrusted with unbearable children's worries. Such children may develop fears and constant worry about their health and the health of their loved ones. Improper upbringing disfigures the child’s character, dooms him to neurotic breakdowns and difficult relationships with others.

Often the parents themselves become the cause of problematic family upbringing. For example, personal problems of parents, solved at the expense of a teenager. In this case, the basis of educational disorders is some kind of, most often unconscious, need. This is what the parent is trying to satisfy by raising the teenager. In this case, explaining to the parent the wrongness of his behavior and persuading him to change his parenting style are ineffective. This again leads to problems between children and parents.

Family education has its own methods, or rather, the priority use of some of them. These are personal example, discussion, trust, showing, showing love, empathy, personal elevation, control, humor, assignment, traditions, praise, sympathy, etc. The selection is purely individual, taking into account specific situational conditions.

The initial structural unit of society, which lays the foundations of the individual, is the family. It binds by blood ties, unites children, parents, and relatives. A family appears only with the birth of a child. Family education is very important. It can help the child throughout his entire life. But if parents, for one reason or another, do not pay due attention to upbringing, the child may have problems with himself and society in the future.

Methods of family education, like all education, should be based, first of all, on love for the child. Family education is a complex system. It is influenced by heredity and biological (natural) health of children and parents, etc.

You need to show humanity and mercy to the child, involve him in the life of the family as an equal member of it. Relationships in the family should be optimistic, which will help the child overcome difficulties in the future and feel the “rear”, which is the family. Among the methods of education, openness and trust in relationships with children should also be highlighted. The child feels the attitude towards him very keenly, on a subconscious level, and therefore it is necessary to be open with your child. He will be grateful to you all his life.

There is no need to demand the impossible from a child. Parents need to clearly plan their requirements, see what their child’s abilities are, and talk to teachers and specialists. If a child cannot assimilate and memorize everything perfectly, there is no need to ask more from him. This will cause complexes and neuroses in the child.

Helping your child will only cause positive result. If you are open to answering your child's questions, he will respond with openness.

The goal of family education is the formation of such personality qualities that will help to adequately overcome the difficulties and obstacles encountered along the path of life. The development of intelligence and creative abilities, primary work experience, moral and aesthetic formation, emotional culture and physical health of children, their happiness - all this depends on the family, on the parents, and all this constitutes the tasks of family education. And the choice of methods of education is entirely the priority of the parents. The more correct the methods, the better for the child, the greater results he will achieve. It is parents who are the first educators. They have a tremendous influence on children. Jean-Jacques Rousseau also argued that each subsequent teacher has less influence on the child than the previous one.

From all this, we conclude that the more correct the methods parents choose, the greater the benefit it will bring to the child.

Education methods– this is a specific influence on the consciousness, feelings, behavior of pupils to solve pedagogical tasks in joint activities, communication between students and the teacher-educator.

Selection and implementation are carried out in accordance with the goals. It is entirely up to the parents how to raise their child. It is necessary to rely on the experience of other people. Now there is a lot of diverse literature on this subject.

Methods of education should be distinguished from the means of education with which they are closely related. The method of education is implemented through the activities of the teacher and parents. Methods of humanistic education– prohibition corporal punishment, do not talk too much, do not demand obedience, do not indulge, etc. However, it all comes down to one thing: children in the family should always be welcome, under any circumstances, no matter whether he behaves obediently or is naughty.

Parents should teach their child from an early age that work is the main source of life. In childhood, this should happen in the form of a game, then the tasks become more complicated. It is necessary to explain to the child that his good grade at school is a job well done. In this case, the danger that the child will grow up not accustomed to work is very small.

All responsibility for upbringing lies with the parents. School, of course, primarily has an impact. But a lot is built into a child before the age of 7, when he does not yet go to school, but constantly plays and is under the supervision of his parents. IN preschool age You can accustom your child to work in such a way as to show him that he must clean up after himself the toys that he scattered. This will also make a great contribution to the development of the child’s personality.

The family carries out the physical, aesthetic, labor, mental and moral education of children, changing from age to age. To the best of their ability, parents and loved ones give the child knowledge about the world around him, society, production, professions, technology, etc. In the family, they develop some intellectual skills and cultivate an attitude towards the world, people, and life.

Parents should set a good example for their children. This also applies to parenting methods. The role of the father in the family is enormous. This is especially true for boys. Boys always want to find an idol, a strong, courageous person to look up to.

A special place among family education methods is occupied by the method moral education child. First of all, this is the education of such qualities as benevolence, kindness, attention and mercy towards elders, younger and weaker people. Honesty, openness, kindness, hard work, humanity. By their own example, parents should teach their child how to behave and what to do in a given case.

Conclusion: by whatever methods parents raise a child, this is how he will grow up in the future, and this is how he will treat his own parents and the people around him.

The key to family education is love for children. Pedagogically appropriate parental love is concern for the future of the child, in contrast to love in the name of one’s own whim, the desire of parents to “buy” children’s love different ways: fulfillment of all the child’s desires, hypocrisy. Blind, unreasonable parental love turns children into consumers. Neglect of work and the desire to help one’s parents dulls the feeling of gratitude and love.

When parents are busy only with their own affairs and do not have time to pay due attention to their children, the following problem arises, which has serious consequences: children become left to their own devices, they begin to spend time in search of entertainment, fall under the influence of bad companies, which have a detrimental effect on the worldview of children and their attitude to life, to work, to parents.

But there is another problem - overprotection. In this case, the child’s life is under vigilant and tireless supervision; he hears strict orders and numerous prohibitions all the time. As a result, he becomes indecisive, lacking initiative, fearful, unconfident in his abilities, and does not know how to stand up for himself and his interests. Gradually, resentment grows for the fact that “everything is allowed” to others. For teenagers, all this can result in a rebellion against parental “violence”: they fundamentally violate prohibitions and run away from home. Another type of overprotection is education according to the type of “idol” of the family. The child gets used to being the center of attention, his wishes and requests are unquestioningly fulfilled, and he is admired. And as a result, having matured, he is not able to correctly assess his capabilities and overcome his egocentrism. The team doesn't understand him. Feeling this deeply, he blames everyone. Just not yourself, a hysterical accentuation of character arises, bringing a person many experiences throughout his later life.

Education according to the “Cinderella” type, i.e. in an atmosphere of emotional rejection, indifference, coldness. The child feels that his father or mother does not love him and is burdened by this, although it may seem to outsiders that his parents are quite attentive and kind to him. “There is nothing worse than the pretense of kindness,” wrote L. Tolstoy, “the pretense of kindness is more repulsive than outright malice.” The child worries especially strongly if someone else in the family is loved more. This situation contributes to the development of neuroses, excessive sensitivity to adversity or embitterment in children.

“Hard education” - the child is severely punished for the slightest offense, and he grows up in constant fear.

Upbringing in conditions of increased moral responsibility: from an early age the child is instilled with the idea that he must necessarily justify the numerous ambitious hopes of his parents, or else he is entrusted with unbearable worries that are not childish. As a result, such children develop obsessive fears and constant anxiety for the well-being of themselves and their loved ones.

Improper upbringing disfigures the child’s character, dooms him to neurotic breakdowns and difficult relationships with others.

A family is a social and pedagogical group of people designed to optimally satisfy the needs for self-preservation (procreation) and self-affirmation (self-esteem) of each of its members. Family evokes in a person the concept of home not as a room where he lives, but as feelings, a feeling of a place where he is expected, loved, understood and protected. A family is an entity that embraces the entire person in all its manifestations. Everything can be formed in a family personal qualities. The fateful importance of the family in the development of the personality of a growing person is well known.

Each family lives by its own rules. Every family has their own. But there are several general rules for all.

Firstly, a child must obey his parents. They already have life experience, they guide the child to the right direction help him become worthy person. After all, they know a lot more than he does. Parents advise their child what to do, what to do. Good behavior- This is a kind of gratitude from the child to his parents.

Secondly, it is necessary to create maximum conditions for the growth and development of the child.

Thirdly, to ensure the socio-economic and psychological protection of the child.

Fourthly, to convey the experience of creating and maintaining a family, raising children in it and relating to elders.

Fifthly, teach children useful applied skills and abilities aimed at self-care and helping loved ones.

Sixth, cultivate a feeling self-esteem, the values ​​of one’s own “I”.

A child must respect his parents. Appreciate their care for him. You should also try to instill these qualities in your child. But, first of all, the child must be loved. You also need to listen to his opinion, find out what interests him, what he wants. The child is little man who reacts very seriously to his parents’ attitude towards him. You can't be too strict with your child. This will cause constant fears, and in the future will cause complexes.

A child should not be allowed to “sit on his parents’ neck.” Then a capricious, spoiled, useless member of society (except mom and dad) will grow up.

Parents must provide assistance to their child and must be ready to answer questions. Then the child will have the feeling that they want to communicate with him and that they are paying him due attention. Good-natured relationships in the family increase love and affection for each other. The child will always have good mood, there will be no feeling of guilt if he was suddenly yelled at for no reason and punished. Trusting relationship in family - main feature good, strong family.

Involving children in family activities is one of the conditions for understanding between children and parents. Children feel that they are not “strangers” in the family, that their opinions are listened to. Love works wonders. Therefore, we must not forget about this.

The connection between family and school education inseparable. After 7 years, i.e. after entering school, the child spends there a large number of time. The influence of the family weakens a little, as the child comes under the guidance of a teacher. The child begins to grow up in a group, to live according to its laws. The influence of the collective (society) becomes enormous.

But nevertheless there is a strong connection between family and school.

If the child lives in a good strong family, then in it, in addition to requirements, the child also receives love, care, and affection.

At school they only demand from the child. A personal approach to education is a consistent attitude of the teacher towards the student as an individual. As a responsible subject of your own development. It represents the basic value orientation of teachers towards the individual, his individuality, and the creative potential of the child, which determines the strategy of interaction. The personal approach is based on a deep knowledge of the child, his innate properties and capabilities, ability for self-development, knowledge of how others perceive him and how he perceives himself. Teacher and parents should work together to shape the child's personality. The more often parents communicate with the teacher, the more often they try to find optimal ways to improve the child’s knowledge and skills, the better for the child himself. The child is under their general care, which contributes to his better development. The educational process includes situations specifically designed for the child’s personality, helping him to realize himself within the framework of school.

The activity approach to education assigns a primary role to those types of activities that contribute to the development of the individual. Both the teacher and parents need to work together to develop personality in the child.

The personal-active approach to education means that the school should ensure human activity and the development of personality.

A creative approach puts the creativity of the teacher and the child at the forefront in the process of education, and parents should help in this.

Parents must realize that they also studied at school, that it is necessary to prove to the child that school is a place where there are friends, where the child will be given important and necessary knowledge. The teacher must instill a love for his subject, teach the child to respect himself, other teachers, and, of course, elders. Without the joint activities of parents and teachers, this is almost impossible.

Education must take place constantly: both in the family and at school. In this case, the child will be under “supervision” or supervision, there will be no negative influence streets, and this will help to educate a child good man, personality.

The teacher needs to help the family develop an individual program for raising a child, taking into account the interests of the children, and independently determine the forms, methods and content of education.

Thus, there is an inseparable connection between school education and home education.