Psychology of being betrayed. How to survive betrayal? Psychologist's advice

Unfortunately, no person can be immune from betrayal, no matter how much he loves and values ​​those who decided to take such a step. For the first time after this, it begins to seem as if someone has pulled the rug out from under your feet and life will never be the same. Indeed, if the traitor was very close to you, then his act cannot but affect you - now, most likely, you will be more suspicious and withdrawn. However, you must understand that one day the pain of betrayal will subside, turning into only an experience from which you can learn some lessons.

What to do when you've been betrayed

Betrayed by a beloved man

First of all, try to recover from this story as soon as possible. Realize that since something like this happened, then this man is clearly not the one sent to you by fate, but a kind of test for you. Don't close yourself off from friends and family and become depressed. By withdrawing into yourself, you are left alone with the betrayal that has occurred, and besides it, there will be almost nothing else in your life for a certain period. Don’t let this happen - cross out the offender from your life, and fill your time with new hobbies and meetings that will gradually displace this story from the list important events. This will not be easy to do - you will have neither the desire nor the mood to lead active image life, but in this case you need to force yourself. Understand that this is the only way you can help yourself get rid of your unpleasant past.

When the traitor is your own husband

Once upon a time this person offered you his hand and heart, and you gave your consent, confident that you would go through your entire life path with him hand in hand. Of course, it is very painful to find out in the end that your beloved has decided to betray you, but in this case you should not act out of hand, especially if children are growing up in your family. Talk to your husband and try to understand what prompted him to do this act. If you see that your spouse sincerely repents, and you understand that, despite everything, you still have feelings for him, then find the strength within yourself to give your family a chance. Devote the evening to talking about why this happened, determine how you can live with it further, and try not to return to this conversation in the future to maintain a favorable atmosphere in the house. If you understand that you will never be able to forgive or your husband does not express special If you regret what you did, then you may need to think about divorce. After all, good family life, with such options, it probably won’t work.

Betrayal by your best friend

The betrayal of a friend can sometimes hurt no less than the betrayal of a relative or husband. If your friend is real, then you probably trusted him with your personal secrets and supported him more than once in difficult situations. life situations and consulted on many issues. Now it will not be easy for you to imagine your life without this person, but it is important to realize that if this happens, then there is no more friendship, and it’s time to go your separate ways. The only exception can be if a friend or girlfriend was forced to take this step, not because of their own accord or made a stupid mistake. In general, you need to give the person a chance to explain themselves, and if you understand that the betrayal could have been avoided, then pause your communication so that everyone can rethink what happened. After months, you yourself will be able to understand whether you want to return your friend to your life.

Is it worth forgiving the betrayal of loved ones?

Each person has his own ideas about betrayal - some believe that it is exclusively about betrayal, while for others it is enough if a loved one takes the opponent’s side in a certain dispute. If you yourself understand that, in general, nothing terrible happened, then you should not torture your loved one - talk to him and come to an agreement. Explain why it is important to you that this does not happen again. If someone has offended you, but does not ask for forgiveness, then you need to try to forget about him and understand for yourself that this story is unnecessary in your life, and it is better to devote your time not to thinking about what happened , but to new impressions and other people. It is much more difficult if the person has repented and you would like to improve your relationship with him. Unfortunately, being prepared to forgive does not always guarantee that it will happen. You may want this, but in reality the resentment will not go away, and conflicts will flare up between you again and again. It is worth trying to forgive a person who admits his mistake, but be prepared for the fact that, despite your desire, you still will not be able to turn this page in your thoughts, which is why sooner or later you will have to break off relations with the offender.

Is it possible to forgive cheating with another woman?

Depends on the situation. If there are no children in your family, then the decision will be easier. It is also worth paying attention to factors such as the chosen one’s repentance and whether there was another woman constant mistress or their connection turned out to be fleeting. It happens that a man deliberately lives for several months, or even years, in two families, unable to decide who is dearer to him. In this case, it is better to ease the agony of choice and start looking for a life partner for whom you will be the only beloved woman. A completely different case is if your lover was seduced or he spent the night with another woman after a quarrel with you. Under such circumstances, it is also not easy to forgive a person, but if he sincerely repents of what he did, then you can try to understand him. Most likely, this connection was fleeting and meaningless to the man. Of course, you shouldn’t immediately pretend that nothing happened - ask to be given a few days to think about what happened. After this, tell your lover that you forgive him, but if this happens again, you will not be able to stay together. During the period of your reflection, the man will probably realize how dear you are to him and how much he does not want to lose you, and subsequently will value your relationship more. Of course, if you understand that even a fleeting affair is too much for you, and you If you never come to terms with her, you will have to end the novel. You will come to the same decision sooner or later if the chosen one does not feel guilty for what happened, and periodically raises reasonable suspicions of new betrayal with his behavior. If you have not been together for too long and have not yet started a family, then it is worth thinking about whether you want see such a person in your life. A guy who decides to betray you is unlikely to value you highly. However, if you see that he is very upset about what happened, and considers it a big mistake, then you can try to give him another chance, and nothing more.

Are there children in your family? Then in this situation, you have to think not only about yourself, but also about them. If betrayal by your spouse occurs systematically, again and again making you upset, worried and cry, then, undoubtedly, an unhealthy psychological climate reigns in your family, which is not good for the children. Instead of spending time with your child, you are busy thinking about what is going on in your relationship with your husband. By forgiving the traitor again and again, you do not save the family at all - only its appearance is preserved. By doing this, you undermine your health and spoil your mood, depriving the child of communication with a happy mother. The situation is completely different if the spouse stumbled once, realized his mistake and does not want to lose you. Talk to your husband, make it clear to the end why this happened, and how you can restore trust. Convey to him that this should not happen again if he wants to be the head of a friendly and happy family. It may be necessary for both of you to visit family psychologist, if you realize that you yourself cannot cope with what happened. For a person who regrets what he did, his own betrayal, like for you, is a serious stress. Consider a change of scenery for a while and relieve tension in the family by going on a short trip together or at least spending a weekend in an interesting place.

How to forget a traitor

Try to mentally at least try to forgive him, and realize that only a weak person who still has to grow above himself is willing to betray him. Understand that because of this, he will have to face problems more than once in his life, and be glad that you will no longer be around during that period. Understand that first of all, now you need to take care of your mental comfort. An extremely unpleasant situation happened to you, which should be considered as an important life lesson. Think about what you can take away from this lesson - now you will become stronger and, perhaps, will be able to understand people better. It is not easy to decide to cut someone out of your life, but it is much more difficult to actually do it. If you have clearly decided that you do not need such a person, and you are worthy of another relationship, then first of all, cut off contacts with the traitor, and do not initiate meetings, conversations or correspondence with him. Do not follow his life through social networks and do not inquire about his affairs through friends - understand that you must completely leave the person in the past. If you have time to find out about the everyday life of the person who betrayed you, then you clearly need to find something more interesting and much more productive for you to do. First, set a period (for example, a month) during which you will not show interest in the life of the person you want to forget, and will also not respond to his attempts to get in touch. At this time, it will be very difficult to follow your decision, but you will make your task much easier if you find a new hobby or go on a trip to another country or city. Understand that the sooner this painful connection is broken, the sooner something new and good can enter your life.

Psychologist's advice: What to do if betrayed and how to live after

How to survive betrayal and how possible to restore trust in the surrounding reality, we will talk in this article.

Adoption process

People do not want to realize that they have been betrayed until the very end. We are looking for reasons, we are looking for explanations. This is precisely what is associated with numerous attempts to “show things off” - it seems to a person that as soon as he receives some kind of rational explanation for why he was betrayed, everything around him will fall into place. But, in fact, there are no explanations. Yes, and they would sound quite ridiculous: “I betrayed you, because...” and further point by point.

Betrayal is just betrayal

Some people find it easier to blame themselves, some “come out” with anger and plans for revenge, some find it easier to complain about fate to everyone who is willing to listen to them, some try to throw themselves into work or “replace” it with something else. : new relationships, food, sleep, extreme sports. Each person has his own way of coping with negative emotions, the most important thing here is to know that this is precisely a way of coping, a temporary measure, and not a solution to the problem.

Forgiveness Process

Many people misunderstand the word “forgiveness.” It is not at all necessary, if you have forgiven a person, to continue some kind of relationship with him, it is not at all necessary to trust him as before, and pretend that nothing bad ever happened between you. Forgiveness is not for the offender, forgiveness is for you.

Hidden, unprocessed grievances, as we know, destroy a person at all levels: psychosomatic diseases and neuroses begin, interpersonal communication is harmed, in other words, you move away from friends, acquaintances and relatives. No traitor is worth this.

In order to forgive and let go of a problem, you need, firstly, to admit that it exists (the process of acceptance), that you are not to blame for the existence of this problem, find support from the outside and try, without justifying your offender in anything, to say to yourself that yes, it was, it was and has passed. The experience turned out to be painful, but somehow useful. Here it would be nice to really think about how exactly this experience turned out to be useful. You have become stronger, you have become wiser, you do not want to let this situation affect your life. You let go of this situation and, along with it, the person who created it.

All those who love can face betrayal, and all who are friends, too. It is only important to know that betrayal loved one– this is not a reason to isolate yourself and close yourself off. The most offensive thing is that there is no protection against betrayal.

What those who have been betrayed should not do

Betrayal is a very strong blow to our soul. First of all, self-esteem suffers: often the victim feels that he is not worthy of love. This feeling is false, but getting rid of it is no longer easy.

A person loses trust not only in ex-lover, but also to people in general. In addition, betrayal can lead to depression and withdrawal. What to do if the psyche is damaged? Don't make the situation worse. First of all, don’t drown your sorrows in a sea of ​​alcohol. Ethanol will never help and is generally harmful. You also shouldn’t become a bitch or a bitter person. You shouldn't punish other people for something that isn't theirs. In addition, this way you can miss the one who will become your true happiness.

Also, don't look for someone to blame. There is no need to blame yourself for everything that happened, nor to place all the blame on the traitor. The search for “truth” in this case is unproductive and will simply undermine the already damaged nervous system.

Do you need to continue the relationship?

Whether you can forgive the betrayal of a loved one, only you can decide. There is a desire to glue the broken cup and continue to try to drink coffee from it - please. But in general, if a person betrayed you once, then you are simply not dear to him, which means he will do it more than once. You can forgive a friend who set you up, but know that he will set you up more than once. Do you really need this happiness?

Let's not lose trust

It’s good if your friends are ready to help you and tell you how to survive the betrayal of a loved one. This will really help. But what to do when you just want to close yourself and never talk to anyone again? Remember that only time heals.

No need to generalize. Don’t think that all men are traitors, etc. If it were so, there would not be so many happy and friendly couples. Don't label everyone of the opposite sex. If this is not the first time you have been betrayed, it is likely that you yourself are the problem.

Try to remember the good things. Surely, besides the traitor, you have reliable and loving people who have proven their love more than once. Concentrate on good qualities people, because there are clearly more of them than bad ones. And yet, you can do good yourself. This is generally The best way get away from your own grief and not be disappointed in people. So, take part in charity events, become a volunteer and you will see how many kind and caring people there are.

• Also see:

How to get out of the darkness?

As after any other severe shock, after betrayal we go through several stages:

• Acute pain. Now all the colors have instantly faded and you don’t want to contact anyone. But you don’t have to - now you really need to be alone with yourself and digest everything on your own;
• Resentment. Sometimes it is accompanied by hatred;
• Humility. You have already accepted the situation and realized it. Now you can forgive this person, but think about whether you need to give him a chance. If you are not able to forgive, then now you are preparing to cross out the person forever;
• Feelings slowly fade away, and mental balance is restored.

How to act in order to survive all these metamorphoses as quickly as possible?

Try to understand. Not even a fact, but the real reason betrayal. Perhaps your significant other cheated on you because your love for her has already passed and life has remained out of habit. Your loved one simply couldn’t stand your indifference.

If your beloved really turned out to be a dishonest person, then all that remains is to thank life for taking you away from such a person.

Understand that you have the right to be weak. If it hurts and you want to throw and tear, then do so: scream, hit the dishes, tear general photos. But only once. Next, you will need strength to restore mental balance.

Understand that life goes on

It seems to everyone who is offended and betrayed that they will die, that they will never be able to. But they live! And you, too, live, breathe, hear... This man was not air or water, he was an ordinary person, and, moreover, not the best.

And you have friends, hobbies and favorite music. Don't let betrayal take that away from you.

Looking for new experiences

The same works in all cases. We don’t sit within four walls, but do something interesting, otherwise your grief will take on universal proportions.

Just let this man go

Bring something better into life than this unhappy love.

Living in the present

You understand that. This means that you shouldn’t replay everything: this is what would have happened if you had done or said something differently a couple of days before the betrayal. This only speeds up your brain and eats up your energy. If you had said something different a couple of days before the betrayal, then nothing would have changed, really.

Make an appointment with a psychologist. A psychologist is not one who calms mentally ill people, but one who allows people in difficult situations not to become psychotic. So, calmly seek help from a professional when you are unable to cope with your emotions on your own. That is why he is a specialist, so that he can consider your situation soberly and objectively, and also point out what is not noticeable to you in this situation. Be honest with the professional and follow all his recommendations.

Get a happiness diary. You can even use a notepad. But write down in it everything wonderful that happened to you during the day, all your positive emotions.

We use positive attitudes

You are not unhappy or abandoned, but interesting and free. As soon as the thought that you are unhappy enters your head, immediately replace it with a positive attitude. Remember that unhappy people will never attract positivity and luck into their lives.

Look to the future

Imagine standing wet and cold at a dark bus stop, hungry and ready to cry, but the bus never comes. And then a miracle happens and you are already warming up on a comfortable chair on the bus. After another half an hour, you are already in a warm house, emerging from your wet boots into a warm robe and drinking hot tea with cheesecake. But just thirty minutes ago you couldn’t even think that you would be so happy, right? The situation is the same with betrayal: time will pass, and you will be happy again.

You can also remember the past. Once upon a time, some grievances and troubles seemed the most terrible to you. And now? Was everything really so hopeless? No. Now know that everything will pass.

Do what you love

Your hobby will be a great way to lift your spirits. If possible, do this constantly and every free minute. Try to bring all your skills to perfection. If you are a creative person, then it is best to sublimate your personal drama into new works. Who knows, maybe you will give birth to a masterpiece and become a classic? If you manage to switch, over time the severity of the pain from betrayal will pass. By the way, when you lived with your husband or boyfriend, did you have a lot of time to do what you loved?

How to survive betrayal as an adult

Love (and other) dramas happen not only in youth. But how to survive the betrayal of a loved one when you are over 40 or 50 years old? Forget to think that at this age new love can no longer be met. It’s possible without the mistakes of youth. You probably already have grown up children who will support you in a difficult situation and it is worth living for their sake. If they are adults and live separately, it’s time to fulfill their long-standing desires, go where they wanted so much, learn what they didn’t have time for before. And just let the traitor go like a wise man mature man. Do not forget that youth continues for you, which means you will definitely attract new love.

If it’s too hard for you, you can tell yourself that betrayal and betrayal do not exist. There are only different worldviews and different life circumstances. We imagine both relationships and general rules, which means it may not even be a betrayal, but simply a selfish act. Well, why do you need this egoist?

Paulo Coelho

Have you ever been betrayed, dear readers? I'm sure they betrayed me. That's why you showed interest in this article, isn't it? And now you want to find out how you can live further, with the pain in your soul that you experience and which does not give you peace. However, it is quite possible that you yourself betrayed someone, and because of this you now have a heavy burden on your soul that you want to get rid of. You want to know what it’s like to be betrayed, you want to understand how the person who was betrayed feels, how severe his pain is. And you will definitely find out about this, because in this article I am going to tell you everything I know about betrayal. And believe me, I know a lot about him. Betrayal is something that I have repeatedly encountered in my life, not only as a specialist, but also as a person who was cruelly betrayed several times. Therefore, I will share with you not only my knowledge about betrayal, but also my feelings. Unfortunately, betrayal is an integral part of our lives. People have betrayed, are betraying and, apparently, will continue to betray each other. And if so, then it is quite obvious that you need to be able to live with betrayal, regardless of whether you were betrayed or betrayed by you. Betrayal should be treated with understanding so that it does not poison the soul and poison life. Let's find out, friends, what betrayal is and see how you can live with it.

For some people who have experienced the pain of betrayal in their own skin, it is very difficult to understand why people even betray each other, why they treat others in ways they would not want to be treated. On the other hand, those people who themselves betrayed someone sometimes look for an excuse for their treacherous act, and, as a rule, find it. It is possible to understand, and I believe that it is necessary, both of them. After all, we are all human, which means we are all not without sin. But in order to understand another person, even a devotee, even a betrayer, you need to try to see yourself in him. I tried to cover the topic of betrayal in as much detail as possible, given its importance, and I am confident that I managed to do this. So you will definitely benefit from reading this material, you can be sure of it. I want to tell you, friends, that I have had the opportunity to work both with those people who were betrayed, sometimes very cruelly, and with those who themselves once betrayed someone. And in most cases, both suffer from betrayal. After all, deep down in our souls, we all understand that some actions, regardless of our attitude towards them, are not entirely, let’s say, necessary in this life, that they do more harm than good. Just think how many problems we could have avoided if we had thought about the consequences of our actions. After all, traitors do not always benefit from their treacherous actions; on the contrary, they often suffer from them themselves, because the consequences of these actions can be terrible for everyone. And if these traitors had been a little more prudent, they would not have betrayed other people, especially people close and devoted to them. After all, by betraying others, we often betray ourselves!

Betrayal can lead to mass negative consequences, which then not always and not everyone manages to cope with. Therefore, I believe that when someone betrays someone, he commits great evil. I have seen this evil, I have worked with this evil, I have pulled devoted people out of the worst states they were in because of the pain they were experiencing. People suffer very, very much when they are betrayed, maybe not all, but many, that’s for sure. Therefore, my attitude towards betrayal is extremely negative. Well, what can I say, some devoted people even age for several years due to the stress they have experienced, while the traitor himself is often forced to live with a sense of guilt for the rest of his life. So, friends, by betraying other people, we can take away several years of their life, and for what, for what benefits, for what benefit? I don’t think that shitting on someone else’s soul is too profitable an activity; in any case, I have not met in my life happy traitors who built great happiness on someone else’s misfortune. Well, let's look at this issue in more detail.

What is betrayal?

Many of us know well about what severe pain, what incredible suffering and what damage someone’s betrayal can cause to a person, or, in any case, they guess. This is especially well known to those who have already been betrayed at least once in this life. But not many people know what betrayal is. Our experiences and our pain do not give us answers to simple and natural questions: “why?”, “for what?” and for what?" have we been betrayed? Do you know what's most interesting? Traitors often don’t know this themselves!

Betrayal is a violation of loyalty to someone or failure to fulfill a duty to someone. The moral laws of society condemn betrayal and traitors, just like most religions, they consider treacherous acts to be a sin, a violation of taboos. Traitors really do great evil when they betray someone, because with their treacherous actions they destroy the moral foundations on which our society is built. They destroy such a phenomenon as people's trust in each other. After all, in any society, we adhere to certain rules and norms for a reason, not because we just want to follow some rules that limit us in our actions, but so that this very society exists. If we do not follow certain rules, the entire order in our society will be disrupted and all-destructive chaos will ensue. Honesty and loyalty are the laws of maintaining order in society, and when a traitor violates these laws, he violates it, society, stability and stability. Traitors kill trust, not only in themselves, but also in everyone else. Having been betrayed once, we begin to see the catch in everything, we are already afraid to trust someone fully and reveal our soul to someone, our life becomes more closed, people in our society become more closed, more alien and hostile to each other. This is the evil that traitors commit, this is how much they harm our society. They, in fact, destroy it, thereby harming themselves.

You can betray in different ways, you can simply deceive a person, you know, in small things, for example, by shortchanging him in a store, and thus violating his trust in himself. Or you can completely trample a person’s soul, completely destroying his inner world, through, for example, the same betrayal. Be that as it may, both big and small betrayal is a stab in the back, a blow below the belt, this is without a doubt a vile and very cruel act, by deciding on which, the traitor crosses the line beyond which his human qualities slowly but surely degrade . We all know what the betrayal of Judas led to, and apparently humanity will never change in this sense in better side, people have betrayed each other, to their own detriment, and will continue to betray each other. So, you and I can consider the following actions to be betrayal:

• Adultery.
• Leaving a boyfriend/girlfriend in trouble.
• Treason.
• Parents abandoning their children.
• Apostasy (religious apostasy).

The meaning of all the above actions comes down to the fact that they all, one way or another, cause harm to someone or something. As a matter of fact, the word “betray” itself, according to dictionaries, means “violation of loyalty to someone or something, and this word also means to leave or betray someone.” That is, this phenomenon is associated with destruction. We destroy the outer world when we betray someone or something, and we destroy the inner world of the person we betray. Traitors undoubtedly worsen our lives and ruin the beauty of this world. But on the other hand, they make the people they betray stronger and smarter, but more on that later.

What we experience most painfully is the betrayal of loved ones, from whom we simply do not expect a stab in the back. And how can we expect it from them, because the people we love are the people we are used to trusting. These are people whom we trust unconditionally and for whom we are ready to do anything. These are people with a capital “P” for us. And we, of course, expect a similar attitude towards ourselves from them. We want to be reciprocated, we want to be confident in the reliability of those people who we ourselves are not indifferent to and whom we ourselves do not even plan to betray. But this is precisely the danger for us, it lies in the fact that we do not allow the possibility of betrayal by those close and loved by us. We ourselves leave our rear unprotected, and this cannot be done under any circumstances, no matter how much we would like to believe some people and not see them as a threat.

The cruelty with which our loved ones betray us is, of course, amazing. However, for some soulless people, treacherous acts are the norm, not savagery, and we must understand this in order to be prepared for such a scenario in our lives. After all, each of us can be betrayed at any moment. And it is our unpreparedness for betrayal that betrays us in the first place. Let’s say that for a decent, honest wife, her husband’s betrayal can come as a real shock, because for her part she did everything for the family, for the home, for the children, if any, and of course for her husband, and then such a blow, such cruelty. And it seems that we all know about what more people if you do good, the more cruelly they can treat us later, not all of them, of course, a reasonable person would never spit on a soul that is open to him, but many people will do this, they will really betray the one who was kind to them. Do you know why? Because most people are unreasonable. They are driven by their own, including predatory, instincts, and not by common sense. This is why it is difficult to trust people. And yet, we do this good, we do it to those in whom we believe, whom we love, whom we hope for. We want to believe that the people around us are reasonable, we know very well that more than ninety percent of people are unreasonable, but we want the remaining percent to surround us, we believe in this because we want to believe. However, the traitors in us are killing this faith.

So the hardest and most cruel betrayal is betrayal in love, when the selfishness of one person kills the brightest, purest and most sincere feelings of another person. If you have been betrayed by a loved one, you know how painful it is, how difficult it is, how terrible it is. After such a betrayal, a person finds himself deeply knocked out, the world around him turns black, there is confusion in the head, heaviness in the soul, and an unbearable stabbing pain in the heart, from which you don’t know where to escape. Many have gone through this difficult test in their lives, and others have yet to go through it, because traitors have always been, are, and apparently will be among us. And therefore someone will always suffer from their callousness, cruelty and callousness. Unfortunately, and in my opinion, and fortunately, love and betrayal will always be inextricably linked with each other. Unfortunately, because someone will suffer from this, but fortunately, because being devoted, we become wiser, we become stronger, we no longer live in the illusions in which we lived before.

Thus, when traitors betray us, they inoculate us against weakness, and if we continue to live, and thank God, this is exactly what happens in most cases, then we become much stronger, smarter, wiser, and more protected from external aggression from traitors . If a young guy has experienced the betrayal of his beloved girl, he will no longer be the same, his views on the world, on people, and in particular on women, will change greatly. He won’t necessarily hate all women, he shouldn’t do that, he’ll just be much smarter from now on and won’t let just anyone into his heart. It’s the same with a girl, a woman who has been betrayed by a man; if she turns out to be smart and understands the lesson taught to her, she will no longer allow any random male who thinks only about sex to approach her. And even more so, she will not allow some “Don Juan” to settle in her heart and then break it. Life makes us wiser if we draw conclusions from the pain we have experienced, and traitors are our teachers, they teach us not to trust people. It is difficult, of course, to live without trust in people, and in principle it is impossible to do this; we have to trust someone. But we can be more prudent and more careful by trusting people, right? So in this sense, the betrayal of a loved one is even useful and necessary for us, and at least once in our lives, we need to go through this test in order to become wise.

We are betrayed not only by loved ones, but also by friends, who usually reflect ourselves to us, because as they say - tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are. Therefore, you need to choose your friends very carefully and not be friends with just anyone, because your friend or girlfriend may turn out to be a well-disguised enemy. The betrayal of friends is easier to survive; although it unsettles us, although it causes great damage to our inner world, but still does not completely empty our soul, as is the case with devoted love. Traitor friends, after their betrayal of us, leave us with something, they leave us with faith in ourselves, depriving us of hope in them - in our friends and in people in general. In this world, a person must rely, first of all, on himself; all the other people who surround him can betray him at any moment, and sometimes very cruelly. But to understand this, some of us need to experience it. And when friends betray us, they confirm this truth with their, albeit vile, but very instructive act for us. Therefore, dear readers, try not to let your friends get too close to you. After all, if the betrayal of a friend or the betrayal of a friend came as a surprise to you, it means that you simply did not notice how you yourself exposed your back to the blow for your friends, which they, due to the callousness and insignificance of their sinful souls, finally decided to take.

Having experienced the betrayal of people close to you, you will understand that it does not matter what kind of person we are talking about, it does not matter who he is to you, because if this person is not reasonable, you can expect anything from him at any time. I have dealt many times with people who have been betrayed by their own parents, children, wives and husbands, best friends and girlfriends, other, very close and seemingly reliable people, from whom you should least expect a treacherous act. But many, nevertheless, decide to take this action, regardless of any moral barriers. It's all about the weakness of people. Think for yourself, what kind of phenomenon is this - betrayal of people, why does it take place in our lives? Isn’t this a manifestation of weakness, not just her, of course, but also her? It’s easy to betray someone; you must admit, it’s much easier than not to betray someone. All that is needed for this is simply to renounce all our obligations to a person or people, to renounce everything spiritual and rational that is in us, to throw off all humanity, all responsibility, to renounce willpower and succumb to the influence of our primitive animals instincts.

The topic of betrayal itself will always be relevant. That's how long people live on this planet, that's how long they betray each other. Treason has always been, is, and will be a part of our life, no matter how conventionally civilized and developed this life may be. Because, for now, in any case, we cannot educate and train people according to one standard common to all of us, so that the behavior of each person, without exception, meets both the interests of society as a whole and the interests of each of us in particular. And people themselves, for the most part, are still, unfortunately, too weak and unreasonable to give an account of all their actions and bear full responsibility for all the actions they commit. The logic of most people is very simple - your own shirt is closer to the body. Therefore, if it is beneficial for a person to betray someone, for the sake of his own skin, he will betray.

And it doesn’t matter that none of us can survive in this world alone, and it doesn’t matter that one bad deed can give rise to a whole series of equally bad actions that will make life in society very difficult and dangerous for most people. Not everyone is able to understand these simple truths and not everyone wants to understand them. After all, understanding these truths is a responsibility that must be borne. And she is so heavy. As long as people feel good, they do as they want, but when they feel bad, they begin to do as they should. Well, now we’ll talk about why people generally betray each other. Read about it below.

Why do people betray each other?

Throughout its history, humanity has experienced quite a lot of suffering, which, ideally, should have become useful lessons For each of us, we need to learn from others’ mistakes, and not from our own mistakes! History teaches us how to act and how not to, and it explains to us with its examples why we cannot act in a certain way. But, alas, none of the mistakes of our ancestors and the suffering they caused taught humanity as a whole to reason; it made these mistakes and continues to make them. And it turns out that many of our ancestors suffered in vain, because we are again stepping on the same rake that they stepped on. People have repeatedly been convinced that betrayal greatly harms any orderly society, that it is evil, it is a sin, and this is obvious. IN otherwise, any normal society would not condemn this phenomenon. And almost everyone condemns him. And yet, people continue to betray each other, they do evil without thinking about the consequences, and they, these consequences, always come.

Well, in this case, let's try to figure out why people betray each other, why they commit treacherous acts that can harm, including themselves. There are several reasons that force people to commit this terrible, insidious, treacherous and disgusting act - betrayal.

1. Selfishness. Being a terrible egoist, a person can betray anyone at any moment. Moreover, note that we are far from talking about healthy egoism, in which people always calculate the consequences of their decisions, we are talking about stupid, reckless, irresponsible childish egoism, in which a person in his decisions proceeds exclusively from immediate and often dubious benefits.

2. Weakness. As I wrote above, people who are weak in every sense of the word are prone to betrayal. Lack of willpower, weak character, low level intellectual development, spiritual and moral poverty, because of all this, a person can easily decide to betray in order to solve some of his problems and/or fulfill some of his desires at the expense of other people. Weak people look for easy solutions to complex problems, so betraying them is easier than not betraying them.

3. Unawareness. When a person does not understand what, why and why he is doing, he can do such things that he himself will not be happy about them later. Acting unconsciously, a person acts as if in a dream, he does not understand anything, does not control anything, his behavior is primitive, spontaneous, chaotic, and often does not correspond to common sense at all. It is clear that an unconscious person can easily betray anyone at any moment, even those closest and dearest to him, simply by simply reacting in a primitive way to some situation conducive to betrayal. And what’s interesting is that an unconscious person often doesn’t even understand the horror of his treacherous act.

Let us now, dear readers, consider in more detail the above reasons that push people onto the path of betrayal. There are, of course, other reasons why people betray each other, but these are the reasons that I indicated above - they are friends, the main ones.

Selfishness

Some people, in order to obtain their own benefit, even the most insignificant, are ready to do anything, they stop at nothing when they strive to satisfy their desires, and therefore they can betray anyone, even the people closest to them, for the sake of themselves and their interests. Egoists, it should be noted, are very unpleasant people, and usually normal people are not comfortable with them. We can meet egoists, and therefore potential traitors, everywhere, but first, it would be better to pay attention to ourselves. Remember how often have you personally neglected the interests of other people for your own benefit? You need to get something, you want something, and you do everything to fulfill your desire, without thinking at all about how it can affect the people around you. You don’t think about those people who, perhaps, your actions aimed at satisfying your desires could somehow harm, cause discomfort, cause inconvenience or even pain, because the main thing for you is your own interests, and other people come before them You have absolutely nothing to do with it. Has this ever happened to you in your life? Now, if you had something like this in your life, specifically with you, then you probably found an excuse for your selfish actions, and you were probably inclined to betray someone, at least in your thoughts, in order to get something for yourself or to avoid something, for example, some problems. So, other people do the same, selfish people, of course. And okay, if these problems, for the sake of which we betray someone, were serious, when it comes to life and death, and when the traitor has to choose - either he or someone else who can be betrayed must suffer. But no, egoists betray without any special, urgent need for them to do this, but only because of their whim or because of their immeasurable desires.

So some people have always betrayed, are betraying and will betray each other. And they will do this not only in difficult, hopeless situations, when it comes to their life, which, of course, is worth fighting for, and when their betrayal can still somehow be justified. They will do this whenever they see fit. People can also become traitors because of various minor little things, they can become traitors in situations that are completely harmless to them, for the sake of insignificant and often very dubious benefits. These are “small”, one might even say that they are pathetic people, and sometimes complete insignificances, incapable of anything good or great, but only capable of harming other people. These are selfish people, not the most pleasant creatures in this world. We need to be very careful with such people, and not let them get too close to us, so as not to complain about their insignificance and wretchedness when they cynically betray us at the first opportunity. Therefore, take a close look at the people who surround you and with whom you intend to do business. If you see that they are terrible egoists, that their childish selfishness is right out of their ears, if they are capricious, arrogant, greedy, think only about themselves and spit on other people, even the people closest to them - in no way In case, don't trust these selfish people. You can’t trust anyone in this life, completely, but you can’t trust egoists even more, it’s comparable to suicide, or masochism.

Moreover, speaking about selfishness as a phenomenon that pushes people to betrayal, I am talking about unhealthy, childish egoism, and not about selfishness in general, which is characteristic of all healthy people. It’s just that people with healthy egoism understand how their personal interests are intertwined with the interests of other people, they understand that for normal life, everyone, or at least most people, should live more or less well. Healthy egoists are much more reasonable, more prudent, more social and friendly in their lives than unreasonable egoists. They know that by thinking only about themselves, they will thereby alienate other people on whom they could count, if necessary, with whom they could build mutually beneficial relationships. Healthy egoists are smart egoists, and unhealthy egoists are children for whom treacherous actions are not only something immoral, but also harmful. So, in reality, we are all selfish, and this is normal, another matter is how healthy our egoism is, and as a result, how responsible we are for ourselves and our actions. If we are talking about an intelligent person who knows how to competently defend his personal interests, without significantly infringing on the interests of other people, then one can, if not completely, but to a significant extent, be confident in such a person, and such a person, if he betrays, then in the very as a last resort. But it’s better to stay away from stupid egoists who, like children, think only about themselves, or, in any case, not trust them.

And here’s what else is important to know about betrayal generated by selfishness. All people, to one degree or another, strive for pleasure, and each person, to the best of his ability and depending on the level of his intellectual development, receives pleasure from different things, different activities, and in different quantities. A normal person strives to derive pleasure from things and actions that improve his life, but a stupid person will gain pleasure by causing harm to himself, for example, by harming his health. Well, you understand, tobacco, alcohol, drugs, irresponsible sex with bad consequences, all this is pleasure for stupid, and, as a rule, poor people. In addition, an intelligent person knows in pleasures, as well as in his desires, the measure, adhering to which, he does not allow these pleasures to harm him and his life. And also, he does not allow his pleasures to harm those around him, the people dear to him. But a stupid person is ready to put everything on the altar of pleasure, and is ready to receive pleasure endlessly, until everything around him, including himself, is destroyed. As you probably already guessed, I’m telling you about those egoists who, for the sake of pleasure, are ready to betray anyone and anything. And the more selfish a person is by nature, the more importance he attaches to all kinds of pleasures, for which many selfish people live. Therefore, with those who passionately want to do very well for themselves, you need to keep your eyes open so that, for the sake of their own good, they do not do bad to you.

Weakness

Very often people betray each other because of their weakness. And first of all, we are talking about their spiritual weakness, because of which people simply cannot, and often do not want, to live up to the image of an honest, decent, responsible, strong man, whom you can rely on and trust. Being strong is not easy, but being a weakling, being a scum, a traitor is easy. Weak people, who are also often lazy and at the same time cowardly, are accustomed to looking for simple solutions to complex problems, and therefore, when it is easier for them to betray than to do something differently, they, not wanting to strain themselves, betray. A weak person will always find an excuse for his betrayal; he will say that he could not have acted differently. For example, he could not help but leave his young wife and child because he was not ready to become a father. A mother who abandoned her child can say that she was forced to do this because the circumstances in her life developed in such a way that it was more correct not even for herself, but for her child, if she left him. In general, you have probably met people in your life who always find justification for their disgusting actions, which they might not have committed if they had fortitude and willpower, but did, in the absence of them. So when a person is, first of all, morally, spiritually and intellectually weak, and secondly, physically weak, he can betray anyone, and in practically any emergency, or even simply stressful situation. And then he can justify himself and his action, in his own eyes, citing the necessity of this action, its obligatory nature. They say that, due to the prevailing circumstances, he had no choice but to betray someone. Of course, the man could not do otherwise, what else could he do, he did what he had to do - he betrayed. That's all the excuses. In life, often, such “weaklings” later pay for their treacherous actions, because any weakness in this world, in any case, is punishable. These are the laws of life. There is no place for weak people in it.

Weak people are very cowardly, which is natural for them, and we all shouldn’t forget about this either. Morally, spiritually and intellectually weak people, they are afraid of a lot in this life, and often fear forces them to betray even those people in whose betrayal they are not at all interested. Fear, unconscious, animal fear, first of all, gives rise to panic, hysteria, chaos in the head, because of which people slide into their animal state and begin to act solely instinctively, without any share of common sense. You understand that it is not difficult to betray in such a state, it is difficult not to betray, if not impossible. This is why people betray, they act solely on the basis of the momentary situation, without taking into account the consequences that their unconscious actions can lead to, because they are not aware of their actions. Thus, if you see that a person is a coward, be prepared for the fact that he may betray you, because he may do so.

Unawareness

Lack of awareness, friends, is another, quite large, but nevertheless a natural flaw for most people, which forces them to betray each other. An unconscious person is an egoist, a weakling, a scoundrel, and in general, he is an unreasonable person, the meaning of whose actions is often incomprehensible even to himself. So he commits such actions, the full meaning of which he is simply unable to understand. After all, it is not always the case that a person who betrays someone benefits from his act, especially if we take into account long-term perspectives, when after spitting in a well, we return to it after some time to get drunk. And in general, if we talk about the weakness and selfishness of a person, then these qualities of his are directly related to his unreasonableness, and a person’s unreasonableness is related to his lack of awareness. If a person does not realize what and why he is doing, if he does not take into account possible consequences of his actions, both for himself and for other people, if his actions harm, including himself, then such a person simply cannot be called reasonable. How does such a person differ from, say, a cat? Nothing. It just has more functions, and it’s structure is more complicated than a cat, but there’s no difference. Well, what do we want from an unreasonable person who does not realize what and why he is doing? Is it not high spiritual and moral qualities? Come on, primitive creatures, which some people belong to, to their and our regret, are simply not capable of something high and worthy, for which a person can be called a human. For them, their primitive animal instincts are their inner voice and serve as the basis for them to make certain decisions in their lives; only these instincts prompt them to action, and not some kind of common sense.

In the same way, being either completely or partially unreasonable people, some people betray, let’s say, by mistake, which they later greatly regret. Human stupidity, unfortunately, as we know, knows no limits, and sometimes a person can betray us without any significant reason. This, of course, does not change the essence of the matter, but still, when a person was more mistaken and to a lesser extent consciously and purposefully betrayed someone, then, in principle, he can be forgiven. Although, of course, in the future you will have to be on guard with him, because there can no longer be complete trust in such a person. You and I cannot hope that this or that person who betrayed us because of his unconsciousness will suddenly, for no apparent reason, begin to see the light and we can begin to trust him. If this happens, it happens very rarely and only to a few people. Therefore, I do not recommend that you hope for this tiny miracle. Do you want to forgive the person who betrayed you? Great, goodbye. If only he deserves it. But I don’t recommend you trust him in the future, because by God, in this case you risk stepping on the same rake twice.

How to deal with betrayal?

As for your attitude towards betrayal, I suggest you treat this phenomenon, and each specific treacherous act, no matter who committed it, calmly and indifferently. Yes, I understand that you can object to me by saying that this is not the case when you can remain calm and not pay attention to the treacherous act of a person because of which you suffered greatly, especially if we are talking about a very close and a person very dear to you. But, if you prepare for such a scenario and not only accept the possibility that anyone, even the most reliable person from your point of view, can betray you, but also imagine it, then you can make such a development of events for yourself the norm and accordingly prepare for him. You understand, friends, that it’s all about our expectations, which are either met or not. It is because of this that we suffer when someone betrays us. We expect one thing from them, but they surprise us with another, they betray us, and we find ourselves unprepared for this stab in the back. That's the problem.

People are imperfect, and this has long been known, and some people find it difficult to be human at all; it is much easier for them to be animals and behave accordingly. And therefore, people, due to their imperfection, for the most part, in principle, are naturally inclined to betrayal. And those people who are at a very low level of development are all the more prone to betrayal, and not only betrayal, but also to many other bad actions. Well, why expect anything good from them? It would be more correct to expect from any person, first of all, the worst, most vile and base act, and prepare to give a worthy answer to it, than to place too high hopes on, no matter what kind of person, and then be upset because he did not live up to them . We can only hope for good deeds on the part of other people, and rejoice in the fact that they do them, and, if possible, reciprocate them in order to maintain the unspoken rules of human behavior in society. But to demand from people a certain attitude towards themselves, compliance with some obligations, fidelity, devotion, honesty, responsibility, is too naive. After all, in fact, no one owes you anything in this life. And no matter what obligations this or that person fetters himself and no matter what he personally promises you, he can refuse all this at any time, according to at will. We deceive ourselves when we recklessly trust other people and completely unreasonably believe in other people, pinning our hopes on them, which is why we suffer from betrayal, for which in most cases we are simply not ready.

Of course, each of us can and, as a rule, has some of our own beliefs and, starting from these beliefs, we can evaluate certain actions of other people, and even our own actions. Actually, we all have the right to this, the right to our opinion. But it is beneficial for us ourselves to be more flexible in our views on life, so as not to try to squeeze everything that happens in it into the narrow framework of our limited worldview. Everything, including betrayal, has the right to exist in this world, everything has its own necessity, its own benefit, and everything has its own pattern. Therefore, we must understand that lies and betrayal are the same natural phenomena in our lives as their opposites - honesty, valor, responsibility, love. We must be able to get along with all people and all the actions they commit, both good and bad. Therefore, I repeat once again, you should treat betrayal calmly and indifferently, preparing yourself in advance for the fact that anyone, I repeat, any person can betray you. Accept this, and then no one will be able to shock you with their treacherous behavior.

How to survive betrayal?

Well, if you were not ready for betrayal, and it so happened that you were betrayed, then what to do next, how to survive the betrayal? First of all, friends, look at the pattern of what happened to you, do not accept what happened to you as something that falls out of your picture of the world. If you were betrayed, then this action had its own reason, I will not say that it has its own justification, but the fact that it has an explanation is for sure. People are selfish, cowardly, stupid, greedy, treacherous, and therefore they will always have reasons to commit one or another bad act, bad, for someone else, first of all, but not for themselves. We can be betrayed at any moment, no one is immune from this, so there is nothing to be surprised about, we just need to understand what and why we lost sight of what we allowed someone to betray us. We must learn from our defeats, from our misfortunes, from our pain, so that in the future we will no longer allow ourselves such stupidity as absolute trust in other people. Therefore, when we are betrayed, we are taught, we are made smarter, wiser, and therefore stronger, which means that traitors, sometimes without realizing it, do good for us.

Thus, someone's weakness and stupidity makes us stronger, and we, in fact, should rejoice at this, rejoice that someone betrayed us, no matter how absurd it may sound. After all, if life throws us difficult trials, it places great hopes on us, it believes in us. And if life itself believes in us, then why don’t we believe in ourselves, why should we perceive the betrayal of another person as some kind of defeat of ours, as damage caused to us by someone? It is better to look at it as a victory, and see in this bad act for us, from which we suffered, new opportunities for our development, because being devoted, we change our lives, changing our views on it. We become stronger if we do not die after betrayal, and we, as a rule, do not die from it. We break off our relationship with the traitor or take it to a qualitatively new level, and these are completely different opportunities, a completely different life. And we get experience that is very useful for us, without which it is quite difficult to survive in this harsh world. Devoted man, this is a person who is wise with experience, he is careful with people and does not trust them fully, this is a person whom life has made more mature. Thus, friends, the practicality of your thinking will relieve you of the destructive emotions that cloud your judgment and cause you the pain you experience from being betrayed by another person or other people.

You must also understand that around you and me there may often be not very smart people who themselves do not understand what and why they are doing. Such people betray by mistake, or better yet, by stupidity, succumbing to the influence of emotions generated by the instinctive urges I described above, and often their mistakes harm not only the people around them, but also themselves. Mistake or betrayal? How to distinguish one from the other? Very simply, you need to pay attention to how conscious the actions of this or that person are, to what extent the results he receives justify, first of all, his own expectations. And you must understand that a person who harms not only other people, but also himself, is not a very smart person. Well, if a person is just a fool, then he will first do something, and then think about what he did. So, by acting unconsciously, you can make an incredible number of mistakes in your life, you can betray everyone, including yourself, and then regret what you have done. I'm sure you've encountered such people in your life. And, as it were, to be offended by them is stupid on our part, because their stupidity is their misfortune, not their fault. But even if you should have any dealings with such stupid people, do it very carefully. Because, you yourself understand, an unreasonable person is an unpredictable, inconsistent, irresponsible person who does not deserve trust in himself, and with it, respect. Now, if it was just such a fool who betrayed you, or a fool, then taking this betrayal too close to your heart is unnecessary. You shouldn't do this. Don't give much importance to someone who doesn't deserve it. What to take from a fool, why be offended by him, because he is devoid of reason, which means he has already been punished by God. You just need to draw the appropriate conclusions for yourself and understand that you shouldn’t have any serious business with this person, that he or she will never change, and you shouldn’t expect anything good from a fool-traitor.

You see, dear readers, everyone makes mistakes. We are not perfect. But this is especially often done by stupid people, of whom, it must be said, there are many in our world. Therefore, the betrayal of these people is yet another stupidity of theirs. But only a few deliberately betray. These are not stupid, but truly vile people. There is no point in being offended by fools, as I already said, because their stupidity harms not only the people around them, but also themselves. Well, as for those scoundrels who betray us deliberately, for the sake of their own selfish and often base goals, what can we say about them, except that if we ran into them, then we were very unlucky. Some psychologists recommend learning to forgive your traitors, which certainly helps to survive betrayal, but is too simple a solution. Of course, it makes no sense to hate a traitor either, because with our hatred we poison our own soul, but as for forgiveness, before we forgive someone, we must first understand what exactly and whom we are forgiving. Well, let’s say, how can you forgive a fool who foolishly betrayed you if such a person, in principle, should not be taken seriously? If it so happens that you were betrayed by a fool, then you should forgive not him, but yourself, for believing in the fool, for not seeing the fool in the fool, for allowing the fool to betray you, you, an intelligent person. Do you understand what the logic should be here? Forgiving fools is, you know, too much of a favor for them, because first you need to see a piece of reason in them, believe in it, then be deceived, and only then forgive someone who turned out to be worse than you expected. And if you didn’t do all this, then you shouldn’t forgive the fool, you should just completely ignore him and his treacherous act.

As for scoundrels and scoundrels who deliberately and sometimes very cruelly betray people for the sake of their own interests, then, in fact, it is not that there is nothing to forgive them, but there is also no need. You see, he’s a scoundrel, he’s a scoundrel, and he’ll always be that way, because that’s his role. How can you forgive him, why forgive him? And then let him come closer to you again and let him sting you again? A scoundrel betrays because he is a scoundrel, therefore he is a traitor, and he should not be forgiven, but, so to speak, marked as a black sheep, so that in the future you will not contact him and in no case trust him in anything. That's all we need to do in order to calmly, without unnecessary, negative emotions, which take away a lot of our strength and nerves, survive betrayal, and having received a useful life lesson, continue to live.

And only a few people who, indeed, due to inexperience, due to unreasonableness, due to, so to speak, temporary insanity, without any malicious intent, due to the prevailing circumstances for which they were not prepared and which forced them to betray us, in principle , deserve our forgiveness. In any case, I believe that such people can be forgiven. It happens that a simply morally weak person, because of his weakness and cowardice, without meaning to, can betray you, friends. And then he will wildly repent of his action, he will regret what he did, and he would be glad to fix everything, but he cannot, to his and your regret. As you know, you cannot change the past. Therefore, he wants only one thing - for you to forgive him. He does not expect a humane attitude from you, which he does not deserve, he does not expect anything other than forgiveness, because he understands that he hurt you, that he acted very, very badly by betraying you. He understands that now you will no longer see in him the person you saw before. And just think, he will carry this heavy moral burden with him all his life. He will really carry it within himself, friends, believe me. He, or she, will remember his treacherous act throughout his life, and these memories will cause this person the same intense pain that you experience when betrayed. And I believe that you and I should not burden the lives of such people, no matter how much they betray us, and torment their souls with our resentment towards them. So I suggest you forgive them, forgive them and let them go if you no longer want to deal with such people.

You, my dear reader, as a reasonable person, I am sure, understand perfectly well that it is better to turn to a psychologist for help to solve your problems than to pour alcohol on them, or try to intoxicate yourself in some other way in order to cope with your pain and suffering. There is no need to harm your health when there are normal ways to solve such problems. We need to work with problems, not drown them out. The main thing is to put things in order in your head, then there will be order in your life. It's hard to survive betrayal, I understand that. But it can always be done, believe me.

Hello dear readers. Today we will talk about how to survive the betrayal of the person you love. You will become aware of the reasons why some people betray others. You will learn what manifestations may indicate possible betrayal.

Types

1. Moral betrayal. A person can cause pain to his loved ones by doing the wrong thing, especially if he does it consciously. There may be platonic love for another woman here.
2. Physical betrayal. The most painful betrayal, especially if a man acts deliberately, and not as a result of alcohol intoxication.
3. Misunderstanding. It is a source of conflict between loved ones. A misunderstanding on the part of a partner can be considered a betrayal if ambitions are hurt.
4. Betrayal in the form of deliberate destruction of the reputation of a loved one, surrounding him with gossip and slander.

Possible reasons for betrayal

1. A man can betray under the influence of alcohol.
2. Lack of responsibility. A person who does not want to help his loved ones in trouble, does not want to try on other people’s problems, simply runs away from them, even abandons his parents and his pregnant wife.
3. A person who was nearby only because of benefits, in particular financial ones, can betray.
4. Callous and cynical people easily betray themselves. This is especially true for egoists.
5. A man can easily cheat on his wife when he believes that he must make all the women around him happy. Often this manifestation is typical for people with high self-esteem who consider themselves better than everyone else.

When you can and cannot forgive

Psychology says that each person has his own idea of ​​what betrayal is. Some people see this word as treason, while others see it as a close and dear person taking the opponent’s side.

1. If you were offended and did not ask for forgiveness, then you need to understand that such a person should not exist in your life.
2. If there is a situation in which a man repents of what he has done, then it is much more difficult to return to the old relationship. Be prepared for the fact that resentment towards the traitor will still gnaw at your heart.
3. The most a difficult situation- this is betrayal with another woman. If there are no children in your family yet, then most likely, infidelity will lead to divorce. In addition, a woman must understand that if a man stumbles once, it is possible that this will happen many times.
4. There are cases when a husband not only has a mistress on the side, but actually lives with two families. If the wife finds out about this, then it is better not to create a scandal, but simply get a divorce.
5. Separately, we need to consider the situation in which a man cheats after a serious scandal with his wife or subsequent seduction. It will be very difficult to forgive your husband, but you should try to understand him, especially if he repents of what happened. In addition, this connection, most likely, was one-time in nature and will not happen again.
6. If for you even a fleeting connection is a deep bleeding wound, then it is better to end such a relationship. You must understand that subsequently you will constantly suspect your spouse of possible betrayal, and constantly live in anticipation of this event.
7. If only the groom has cheated, then it is better to immediately break off relations with him if he is already deciding to take such steps.
8. If you have children together, then it is better, first of all, to think about what will be best for them. Naturally, if a man regularly cheats, a woman is constantly in a state of depression, cries, gets nervous - all this affects psychological climate in the family and on the health of children. In such a situation, it is better to divorce your husband.

Sequencing

1. A woman needs to cry. Don't be afraid to show strong emotions. But it’s better to do this next to your family or alone. Remember that it is important to get rid of negative emotions in order to rid the body of unnecessary stress. The main thing is not to delay the tears too much, throw out your emotions and try to calm yourself down, try to analyze the current situation.
2. If the betrayal ended in a break in the relationship, then the woman must get rid of everything that reminds her of her former lover. From his photos, from his phone number, his account in social network, gifts, and everything else he bought. She should ignore the places where they spent time together.
3. To make it easier to cope with the bitterness of loss and resentment, it is necessary not to keep the pain to yourself, but to speak it out. Sometimes this can be done even when communicating with a stranger.
4. You shouldn't be disappointed in all people. It is important to get over the betrayal as soon as possible and begin to move on with your life; communication will help you with this. Don’t isolate yourself, expand your circle of acquaintances, communicate with interesting people. Do everything to be happy again, don’t depend on anyone, don’t listen to other people’s opinions, live your own life.

How to survive

1. If there is a betrayal of a loved one, you need to quickly realize that this man is not your destiny, he was simply sent for testing, for experience. There is no need to close yourself off from relatives, friends and plunge into depression. You must understand that life does not end here, and the traitor will still be punished for such an offense. Try to completely erase it from your memories and continue to live with a clear conscience, please yourself and look confidently into the future.
2. It is much more difficult to understand how to survive the betrayal of your husband, a man who has lived with you for years, sleeps in the same bed, knows your weaknesses and strengths, and one fine day he “puts a knife in your back.” Once upon a time, this man suggested going through life’s journey together, not parting until old age. When a woman learns about her husband’s betrayal, she is overtaken by severe pain that cannot be compared with anything. But even in this case, you should not rush to act rashly, because behind you long years life together, and if you still have children, then you need to take their needs into account. In such a situation, it is important to talk frankly with your husband, try to take his place, and understand what caused such an act. If a man realizes that he was wrong, repents of what happened, and a woman understands that she loves him very much, then she must gather her courage and forgive loved one. They must discuss what happened and decide how to move forward. It is important not to remember in the future this case so as not to disrupt the favorable environment in the family. If a woman understands that she is not able to forgive, and her husband does not experience pangs of conscience, then the right decision It may turn out to be a divorce.

If you decide to break up

1. Demonstrative care. After her husband's betrayal, a woman can pack up all her things, take her children and go to her mother. But at the same time, she risks, because she can see both her husband crawling on his knees and asking for forgiveness, and divorce papers.
2. You can create a big scandal. A woman’s actions will cause a man’s repentance, his requests for forgiveness and vows of eternal love.
3. A woman can remain absolutely calm, file for divorce, and part with the traitor forever.

And if you forgive

1. If the wife is not ready for a divorce, she can give her husband an ultimatum. She must convey to her husband that she will not tolerate such behavior anymore and is now giving him one last chance
2. A woman needs to understand the reason that influenced the betrayal. If it is within her power, she must change the situation completely.
3. Some girls forgive with their eyes closed. They pretend nothing happened.

I present to your attention valuable advice about how to continue living after betrayal.

1. If you want to cry, cry. Don't even try to touch the alcoholic drink. This will not take away the pain, it will only make you feel unhappy, sunk to the bottom of the bottle.
2. Throw yourself into your work and try not to think about the traitor.
3. Find yourself a hobby that will take your mind off bad thoughts and take up all your free time.
4. Treat yourself, change something in your appearance, visit a beauty salon, buy Nice dress, which we have long dreamed of.
5. Don’t even think about living in the past and remembering the traitors. Think about the present and the future, do not push away possible acquaintances.
6. Help people who need help, feel your need.
7. It is important to maintain faith in people, to understand that time heals.

Now you know how a person experiences betrayal. It is important not to be disappointed in all people, to understand that not everyone is capable of betrayal. Learn to trust others, don't close yourself off. Continue to communicate with people, lead an active lifestyle.