Canada: relationships between men and women and family in Canadian style. Married to a Canadian: moving overseas

Canadians have their own idea of ​​how to live: they host a national fashion show for large women and drink coffee while watching a hockey game. Elena Korotaeva, who has lived in Toronto for 12 years, undertook to talk in detail about how Russians who have decided to settle in a distant American country for a long time (or ordinary travelers) can understand local customs, traditions and culture.

People

Let's take a moment away from the idea of ​​the multinational composition of Canada and tell the truth - the basis of the nation is still made up of the Anglo-Saxons, and they make up the majority of them - 37% of the population. There are more people of English origin, whatever one may say, and in all the traditions, behavior and communication of Canadians one can feel the British leaven. British culture with its modest but, if possible, expensive style of clothing, the ability to behave as expected - all this discreetness and restraint, the ban on looking into the soul and questioning, traditions and traditions again... you can feel the good old England in everything, where I lived and worked and I know what I’m talking about.

Canada is part of Great Britain with a representative of the Queen of England, the highest executive power, and together with Australia, New Zealand and Holland forms the Commonwealth, to which America has no connection other than the right to be Canada's friendly neighbor and major trading partner.

Now about the people. My neighbors, whose houses are to the right and left of us, are fifth generation Canadians. Their surnames and names are wonderful: Gordon Zelinsky and Richard Ivaskin. The ancestors of one came from Poland, the second - from Ukraine. There are many Ukrainians in Canada; they even form the basis of an entire province called Saskatchewan, a fertile and traditionally agricultural province, reminiscent of Ukraine in climate and nature. Ukrainians have a strong community, their own financial institutions, a bank where they can get a loan. There is also a cultural center where our friend, the artist and poetess, a pure Ukrainian, was denied a personal exhibition due to “insufficient knowledge of the Ukrainian language.” Ukrainians live here from generation to generation. Once I found myself in the house of a “Ukrainian Canadian” on business and was surprised, as if I had ended up in a hut: on the walls there were towels with embroidered roosters and texts. It turned out that his 88-year-old grandmother, originally from Kharkov, is the only person who speaks and understands Russian; she showed me her garden behind the house, where she grows many vegetables, including potatoes.

Men

Slanting fathoms in the shoulders is the first thing that comes to mind when you see your neighbors’ male guests at the table in their inner garden. Our fences are symbolic, so everything is visible. One day I saw four young men sitting at a table wearing T-shirts with the names of sports teams and drinking coffee from huge paper cups from the Tim Hortons cafe, so beloved by Canadians. With the same success, men could drink beer, but that day they drank coffee, this is the national drink, and everyone has long forgotten that, in fact, coffee is supposed to be drunk from small cups and saucers, and not from half-liter cardboard tubs. All four have light brown hair, or, as they also say here, “dirty blond” color. Huge arms, calm faces, forty-last shoe size, after which only skis. Of course, not all Canadians are like this, but those who have English-Ukrainian-German roots look like this, and they are taller than average.

Women

As for women who use cosmetics much less than Russians, there are also many large women among them. Let me remind you that in 2010, a beautiful girl from Toronto won the international Miss Universe competition. This year, a study was conducted that determined that the majority of Canadian women wear a size fourteen or larger. This is approximately 50-52, if in Russian. They even held a national show of clothing models for large women. I was happy. Will two-meter-tall beauties with protruding collarbones and baby knees really leave the catwalks, and will young girls stop starving and earning anorexia in an effort to be like them? Maybe over time a new standard of beauty will emerge - a not-so-thin, round-faced girl with dimples.

I must say that for the most part men know how to do a lot with their own hands. My friend Married for a Canadian of Irish descent. He is a lawyer, and a successful one at that. I was surprised when I walked into their new, recently purchased unfinished home and saw a fully tiled downstairs with tile floors, a beautiful ceiling, plaster walls, a bathroom and two office rooms. I asked who did it so quickly. It turns out that he is a lawyer himself. He could have hired workers and paid, but he said that if he did this, he would not be able to look his father in the eye and that he himself was a handy-man (jack of all trades).

Family

Canadians live in couples for several years without getting married, usually two or three years. However, everyone in my circle was surpassed by our familiar Russian couple, who invited us to their wedding in the eighth year of their marriage. My youngest daughter, now fifteen years old and living in Canada since she was three, asked me in a whisper at a wedding:

- Mom, how many years were they engaged?

- Seven years.

- I don’t understand this concept! Why does the woman who declares them husband and wife speak Russian?

- Well, they wanted it that way and invited her, apparently because most of the guests were Russians.

- I don’t understand this concept!

A normal Canadian family consists of a husband, wife and two or three children, and this family lives in the house to our right. They have three children, the husband is an electrical engineer, the wife is an artist, she does not work, she takes care of the house and children. The family has two new cars and everything is like people's. For the holidays, they go to visit their husband’s parents in the distant town of Windsor, which is located on the border with America - five hours away by car.

Who is the breadwinner in the family?

Every Thursday and Sunday I see children delivering the free city newspaper and putting news in their neighbors' mailboxes. I have been observing this picture for several years now, as long as we have lived in our house.

They are paid $100 a month for this work. For what? In a chance conversation with a neighbor, the idea became clear - it turns out that this is being done so that children learn to earn money for themselves and feel the taste of freedom that money gives.

The children live in strict conditions: if you need a computer, take it from your earned money, we will add a hundred dollars to you, then you will give it back. This is the position of parents. It’s different in all families, but in general, children start working part-time immediately after school and in the first years of university, as students.

The son of our friends, already in his second year at university, received the official right to teach and receive money for it. The minimum cost for a lesson is $15 per hour. Students work part-time in cafes, large supermarkets as sellers and in construction. If a student doesn't work, it's strange.

Women try to work because ordinary family It’s easier to live on two salaries, but if children appear, mothers very often quit their jobs and raise them. I don’t mean women who are passionate about their careers and happy owners of creative professions. I'm talking about the average Canadian family.

Due to the total spread of computer and Internet technologies, many women have the opportunity to work from home. Among these ladies is one of my artist friends who opened her own online gallery store. She even became the heroine of American news, as her husband, a computer scientist, left his job and began helping his wife in business and raising children.

About divorce

Several times I met Canadian men of about fifty years of age who were successful in business and had achieved a lot in their profession, with whom almost identical stories happened: their wife left them, filed for divorce, left. Usually this happens unexpectedly, out of the blue, when the children have grown up and left to study or work in other cities, or simply got married and live separately. These women, who had been married calmly and happily for more than 20 years, suddenly had the idea that their lives had been wasted and that they urgently needed to change something, find a profession, change their husband. These are the kinds of things, so I long ago made a rule for my daughters that they need to work, have their favorite thing, but not overexert themselves, but remember about their husband, home, and children. But you need to work so that you don’t consider yourself a failure later.

In general, families in Canada are strong, and the divorce rate is low. At first, couples live together for quite a long time, then they get married, understanding each other completely. It is very important for emigrants to have a reliable comrade in the person of their spouse. It can be very annoying to see how families fall apart, having “broken into everyday life” in a new, in many ways unusual, country, or one of the spouses leaves the other, having found more suitable option in this new country. In a foreign land, you need a person who will not betray, however, such a person is needed everywhere.

Now a few words about our emigrant brethren. Statistically, everyone whose family has withstood the trials of the first period in a new country, as a rule, is better or worse, but is settled; the same one who finds himself alone sometimes happens to fall to the bottom. New families are also created here, sometimes so happy that a person thanks God every day for the fact that his previous family fell apart and his true soul mate met. Anything can happen, this is life.

Betrayal or pulling the blanket over oneself does not add strength, but joint struggle, work, sacrifice, as a rule, strengthen the family and lead to success.

Discussion

I would like to live in Canada for a while. I like, to be honest, how they live there, their rules, their standard of living! I would start a family and live like a normal person. Everywhere is good, where we are not!

Nonsense about men with hands, about divorces and about sinking to the bottom, about Great Britain in general, a masterpiece (you need to re-submit it for the citizenship exam). I believe the author of the article has not really come into her own and writes a lot of things she doesn’t really know.

Absolutely empty article, wasted time. It looks like 12 years won’t be enough, and the talent may appear in just as many years.

Finch and Kiel streets in Toronto there are people there too. What was burning here guys? Ukrainians are interested, others are worried))). Or Vancouver, all in Chinese))))) there in school they read about fits and feet, which is probably why for them a fathom in the shoulders is exotic. I personally was stopped and asked with curiosity where such giants, 183 cm tall, came from, the main thing is who works well, is safer than others, more satisfying, more comfortable, this is true. That’s why the women are foolish, because Europe flies to earn money. (The Baltic states and Asia. There are 1.5 million more men, and in Canada there is the country of Quebec (everything is in French there) or how are things with the farmers? says I have a poor simple life, but in There is more equipment in a vegetable garden than on a collective farm. In Canada, it is more profitable to work than to steal.

Did the author even read the article? What nonsense, quote - “Canada is part of Great Britain with a representative of the Queen of England - the highest executive power, and together with Australia, New Zealand and Holland forms the Commonwealth, to which America has no relation, except for the right to be a friendly neighbor of Canada and the main trading partner." What nonsense is this?

Rare nonsense, especially about the type of men - Canada is like an aquarium with many different types fish, multiculture, and people are completely different. about the fact that people themselves are engaged in construction, supposedly in order to be a jack of all trades - in most cases this is hopelessness, Canadians do not want to pay someone else's uncle, they do not waste money. From the article one gets the impression that the author is from Ukraine, a housewife living in Toronto and seeing nothing beyond the fence of her house

So, IMHO, the article is made up and resembles a horoscope in the sense that even if you are a Gemini according to the horoscope and you are given the characteristics of Sagittarius to read, without mentioning it, you will find there a lot of things that characterize you too.

So it is in the article. Everything is average, everything is neat. Somewhere it looks like the truth, but mostly it is a complete fiction of the author, who clearly judges the entire country, describing the neighbors to the right and left from the sandbox, who have personally seen bears on Red Square.

Comment on the article "Canada: relationships between men and women and family in Canadian style"

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Discussion

for all men? A whore, that is? :)

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Discussion

Thank you very much everyone for your feedback. My mother’s example taught me that in any case I won’t be left penniless. In September, my daughter will go to kindergarten, and there I will go to work and my husband’s quiet life at home will end. I will not hire a nanny under any circumstances, this is my subjective opinion.
For those who don’t quite understand me, I want to clarify: doing household chores with all the household appliances is certainly not a problem, but I’m not eager to do it every day. When in the whole day you have time with your child to do a bunch of things at the doctors and around the house, and to go to the store and sew something else for your child, and to play sports. And when dad returns, you expect, satisfied with yourself, well, if not admiration, then at least some kind of gratitude, but instead you hear: “That’s it? I could have done all this in 3 hours, but was it difficult to clean up here?” It ends in nothing but a scandal, and after that I don’t want to have sex, or warmth, or even talk.

An example of my mother’s life (. She never really came out of maternity leave with me. But there were music classes, ballet, art, etc. Institute and everything was fine. My father provided VERY well. But... as I grew up, he from time to time he started a conversation with me about why my mother didn’t work (apparently, she was counting on what I would tell her. I didn’t dare open such a topic..). I know for sure that money didn’t play any role. My father received a lot (high rank in the army) and at the same time was very intangible. He needed social status wife. Exactly the same wonderful mother is my friend. Her husband is a wealthy oriental man. Moreover, his housewife wife is very burdensome for him.. It was announced in the presence of me and my husband and the matter is slowly but surely moving towards divorce, most likely ((.Well There are such men. Although women too.. I can’t imagine that I could love a *householder*, even if he is rich.

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Hi all. I continue to write about Canada. More precisely about Canadians. I am often asked about their mentality. It's a difficult question. I have only recently been here and have seen very little, rarely, not always and not from all sides. It is possible that my picture does not coincide with reality and in general all this applies only to my city and to the people I met here. I will try to convey my personal subjective attitude to this issue. Also most often it will be comparative characteristics with the population of Russia and very rarely with the population of other countries. Those. if I write, for example, about a wide variety of different nationalities, this means that it is greater than in Russia, but it may well be the same as in the USA.

Nation.

Canada is a country of immigrants. Almost everyone I met or knew came here either yesterday, or a week ago, or 30 years ago, or their parents came, etc. Therefore, it is impossible to separate Canadians from immigrants. If someone is trying to convince you that if you come here you will be a second-class citizen, you can safely laugh in the face of the “virtual traveler in Canada and the USA”. An ice cream seller in Niagara came from Greece, a lawyer friend from Turkey, my “house manager” from Italy, a carpet cleaner from Poland, a teacher from the USA, a neighbor from Kazakhstan, someone I met in the park from Israel, and so on. They come from all over the world. India, Philippines, Germany, Italy, Russia, Greece, Somalia, Spain, India and so on. People of different colors, traditions, religions and cultures. From here it becomes clear this incredible diversity of world cuisines, sports, art, religions, customs, holidays and even clothing. At the same time, some of those who arrived do not know English well and feel fine.

Equality.

This is perhaps the most important and valuable moment for me personally. It's hard to understand and accept, but in Canada everyone is equal. You are valued and respected not by your place of birth, not by your wealth, not by your level of intelligence or health, not by your skin color or language, and not by your devotion to your homeland or military service. You are respected, loved, valued and protected simply for being you. I know this sounds stupid and weird, but that's how it works in Canada. If you're wearing torn jeans and riding a creaky bicycle, then the BMW 750i will trail behind you for as long as you see fit and the driver won't even think of making a sound. If a Canadian is driving around South Africa in the same BMW and an African is trailing in front of him, then even then the Canadian will not say a word. Everyone is equal. In Canada, no one would even think of grinning at the overweight, the ugly, the mentally retarded, or any other person who is not like everyone else. Of course, your immunity disappears if you are a criminal - then your rights and freedoms are suddenly limited.

Individuality.

In Canada, the first name is written first, then the last name. A person himself is more important than his family, clan or clan. Children leave their parents' home early. Most often, they themselves take out a special loan to study at the university. Since you came into existence the moment you were born, then by and large you no longer need to prove anything to anyone - you don’t need to be a millionaire, Apollo, chess player or judoka. Blue-collar jobs such as plumbers, electricians, welders and other crane operators are highly valued. Hence, there are a lot of downshifters and very overweight people - it’s your business that you see more than a hundred kilograms on your third scale (the previous one has already broken), which you bought on garbage for half a cent - this does not change the attitude towards you. It also doesn’t matter what car you drive, what color pants you’re wearing, or what house you live in. All these trinkets and clothes fade into the background. They usually dress very simply and on a budget. A pensioner in ripped jeans and an inexpensive T-shirt can easily get out of a Lamborghini.

Politeness.

Canadians are very polite. It is not customary here to shout, swear, interrupt, be rude, etc. They say that Canadians are more polite than almost all non-Canadians. If a person comes here from the UK, for example, then he also has to learn politeness. Canadians endlessly say sorry and excuse me. If the bus does not go on the route, then it says “Sorry”. It is customary to greet everyone always and everywhere - you see a person, meet his eyes - smile, see his smile, wave your hand or head to him, or say “Hi!” :) The bus driver at the entrance says “Hello”, or may even say - “ Good morning, how is the weather for you?" When leaving - "Thank you, goodbye." I already know a Russian driver - he greets and says goodbye to me in Russian. "Small talk" is also accepted - short conversations - in the elevator, for example - they help overcome discomfort and pass the time. Some Canadians don’t know how to swear normally. I’ve seen people like this a couple of times. difficult situation- It’s hard for them to even raise their tone in the presence of other people, let alone start swearing at their interlocutor.

Volunteering.

Volunteering is very common. During the Christmas holidays, volunteers deliver drunk people home for free. Many events are organized where volunteers play one of the key roles. A wide variety of subsidies have been accepted. Gifts are accepted, especially for children, and gifts are given both at special events and holidays, and just like that - recently some woman met us in the park (as it turned out later her parents came from Scotland), she said what a good child you have and gave him a new small construction set. The bus driver saw a barefoot homeless man, stopped and gave him his shoes. On major holidays, especially Christmas, poor residents are given very good gifts. Last Christmas, several families we know were given a couple of huge boxes with a bunch of everything - from turkey to toys and books for children and other gifts worth a couple of hundred dollars each. If you don't know the language well, no one will frown or laugh at your accent. Just apologize, smile and speak more slowly and clearly to make it clearer. It is customary to help each other.

Mood.

Canadians are positive. They try to avoid any negative emotions. It is not customary to talk about your problems at a meeting - who is interested in them? One of the best ways to cheer yourself up - just take a walk somewhere and talk with Canadians - be it in a store or in a park. :) Smiling is an integral part of being Canadian. It cannot be fake or not fake. She is as natural and natural for a Canadian as curly hair for an African or a bow for a Japanese. Just part of the culture and a way of communicating.

Protection.

Canadians are protected by law, society and culture. Moreover, all those who are in the minority and physically weak are protected more than others. For example, people with disabilities, children, the poor, sexual minorities, some small peoples (including aborigines) and others. For Russians, this looks like gay propaganda. :) The fact is that they protect the rights of all minorities and the weak more strongly - from the disabled to gays. There is no wild and violent sexism. A girl can afford to wear simple short shorts and not worry that there will be several males hanging around with their tongues hanging out and lustful looks and hints. This is not accepted here - it can cause discomfort for the girl, which means no one will do this. Canadians, oddly enough, are puritans, at least in terms of strict morals.

Disabled people and old people.

Children and people with disabilities are perhaps the most protected residents of Canada. Children here are adored, both their own and those of others. Endless compliments, gifts, care, entertainment, all the best. Almost the same. The best still goes to people with disabilities. And if it’s also a child... :) Disabled people and old people here usually get around in motorized wheelchairs. Near all non-automatic doors there is a huge button, pressing which the doors still open automatically - these buttons are everywhere - from shops to the swimming pool. Stores often have their own small fleet of vehicles with a motor and shopping cart that visitors can ride around in. In car parks best places for invalids. They are always free and available. The bus lowers at stops and extends a special bridge for those in a wheelchair. Disabled people with mental disorders are given rides and walks by volunteers in various parks. For people with disabilities, there is a special free taxi (in the form of large, roomy minibuses) in which they go to play Bingo! In general, if I continue to write such long posts and my fingers give out, then I don’t worry - I’ll live to the fullest!

Health.

They love to play sports. I meet both a lot of very fat people and a lot of people in great physical shape. They run a lot, swim, ride a bike, swing, play games - Frisbee, football, baseball and others. Today I went to the hairdresser - a guy came out - some sort of Frisbee champion - there was a competition in Italy. Family sports are developed. Very calm and balanced. Unhurried. There are very, very many centenarians. In the pool where I go, competitions are held periodically. Athletes are divided into age groups. There is a group of people who are over 100 years old. You can also add that Winnipegers are very seasoned. In the spring I constantly saw very lightly dressed people who felt comfortable despite the fact that I was dressed much warmer and was still cold. And in general, I often see a discrepancy by my standards in what the weather is like and how a person is dressed.

Religion.

They have an easy and simple attitude towards religion and death. This is clearly visible even in cartoons - remember South Park. A lot of the most different religions and religious associations. There is still no terrorism. :) Churches are modest. There are no golden domes on Catholic ones. In general, it is usually not very easy to understand that this building is a church. Religion, in my opinion, is quite decorative - they believe in Jesus in much the same way as in Santa Claus. But since religious questions are considered impolite (impolite) here, I can’t say for sure. Maybe Canadians, when they come home, immediately start praying and hitting their foreheads against the crosses on the walls. Don't know. Didn't ask. Sorry.

Crime.

Stealing is not accepted. Lying is not accepted. Murders per 100,000 inhabitants are approximately 5-10 times less than in the Russian Federation. There are no iron doors. There are no bars on the windows. Cars without alarms - not to be confused with central locking and a key fob, which simply locks and unlocks the car - silently, so as not to cause inconvenience to others - do not forget about politeness. If a murder or death occurs, candles, flowers, photographs, etc. are often placed on the street near the house. I haven’t heard about wardrobes with tags yet. Classic walk-in wardrobe in a children's museum:

Drinking, cigarettes, drugs.

Drinking is not accepted. In public places it is generally prohibited by law. I almost never saw drunk people, with rare exceptions. Once I talked on a bus with a drunk man and saw drunken Indians several times. As I understand it, drunkenness is not a problem or a problem for Canada. They smoke very rarely. On my way every morning for 2 days in a row I see the same girl smoking. This is already too much for me. Well, sometimes at bus stops I see someone smoking. I didn't see any drug addicts. But, when I was at the Aboriginal Day (Indians) festival, I saw how they danced their national dances. Someone told me that they smoke marijuana before these dances. I wouldn't be surprised if that's the case.

Policy.

Politics here in general is of no interest to anyone. Interesting are hockey, weather, health and the mayor of the city of Toronto. But there is no politician. There is no political propaganda. But there is propaganda and advertising of a healthy lifestyle, sports, volunteering, mutual assistance, healthy eating and other things.

Hygiene.

Obsessed with cleanliness. Take a shower several times a day. Brush your teeth after every meal. It is not customary to wear perfume. They prefer to smell like clean body and soap. :) For everyone public places There are special devices with liquid for hand disinfection, after which you do not need a towel. Women usually use very little cosmetics - don't forget about individuality and not being influenced by public opinion.

About motor transport in Canada.

1. The overwhelming majority of cars are American. There are also Japanese, German, Korean.
2. There are a lot of pickups, SUVs and SUVs, fewer sedans and other station wagons and convertibles. There are a lot of motorhomes (buses) and trailers.
3. All cars are equipped with a “heater” - an antifreeze heater powered by an electrical network. In all parking lots, including all open-air parking lots, there is an outlet for each parking space, and each car has a plug hanging from under the hood or bumper.
4. All the cars that I have seen and, most likely, those that I have not seen are equipped with cruise control.
5. They don't install car alarms. But there is usually a central lock with a key fob. Also occasionally there is a combination lock on the door. At the same time, my city is one of the leaders (or the leader) in car thefts in Canada.
6. Almost all taxis in my city are Toyota Prius, less often Toyota Camry Hybrid.
7. There are so many beautiful restored classic cars out there.
8. I haven't seen any DVRs.

Traffic rules in Canada:

1. Rules traffic in Canada (USA) they are not at all the same as in the Russian Federation. Therefore, an “international” driver’s license from Russia is valid only for 3 months, during which you need to have time to obtain a Canadian Drive License (DL).
2. There are a lot of differences from the Russian Federation. Almost all the signs are different, the traffic organization is completely different, the traffic lights are different, the speed limits are different, when changing lanes and before turning, you must always look over your shoulder and check your blind spot, most often it is allowed to turn on the right at a red light, etc.
3. To get a DL you need to pass theory and driving.
4. Almost everyone passes the theory the first time and easily. The rules are very simple and reasonable. There are no confusing situations with intersections.
5. Many people pass their driving test 2 times or more. I know about cases where they passed it 4 times. that is, in order to get a DL you really need to be able to drive correctly, safely and confidently.
6. The limit in the city is 50 km/h. In some places 60 km/h. On highways 80 (in the city). Outside the city there are 100. They say that soon there will be 110 outside the city in the Armed Forces. :)
7. There is a pedestrian crossing everywhere where the sidewalk ends, even if there is no sign or zebra crossing there. Pedestrians have special priority.
8. Traffic rules in Canada are not violated. If the speed limit is 50 km/h, then everyone drives 50-55 (exceeding by 10% is allowed). Outside the city, everyone drives 100-110 km/h. That's why I constantly use cruise control both in the city and outside the city.
9. The fines are higher. For each violation ticket issued, you receive a certain number of points that increase your insurance.
10. At the time of an accident, you need to remove the car from the road as quickly as possible so as not to interfere with traffic. In this case, you can negotiate with the other driver yourself. And if he’s not there, then just leave him your phone number on a piece of paper and leave.
11. "Main Road" and "Give Way" signs are almost never used or seen. Instead, there is a stop sign or traffic light at every intersection.
12. The traffic rules have a 4-second rule, in which the distance must be such that you can stop in 4 seconds.

Driving in Canada:

1. They say that Winnipeg has one of the worst drivers in Canada, but at the same time, in my opinion, they are very cultured. There is no point in thanking with a signal - politeness and compliance on the road are considered the norm, and not doing a good deed.
2. The rules are followed. Stop at STOP signs in advance, from afar, so as not to accidentally scare people. That’s why pedestrians here don’t look at the road at all. :)
3. They very rarely honk at someone who has dozed off at a traffic light. On one of my first days driving, I was stupid at a traffic light - I could have turned right on a red light, but I didn’t turn and waited for the green light. At the same time, the driver behind was most likely in a hurry to get somewhere and therefore, after a while, began to press the gas pedal to attract attention (but never honked). I'm still ashamed of him. :)
4. All parking lots have special places for people with disabilities - these are always the best places - opposite the entrance to the store, for example. These seats are always half empty and are never occupied by non-disabled people.
5. In 4 months I saw 3 accidents and I drive every day.
6. A large distance is maintained between cars. At intersections, at least one so that you can move into another lane.
7. The direction indicators do not always turn on. There is a reason for this - the organization of traffic is such that often a turn signal is not necessary - there are almost always special lanes from which you can only go in one direction - they often do not turn on the turn signal.

Riding a bicycle is very convenient and safe.

Roads in Canada:

1. The quality of the road surface in my city is very low. There are even holes and potholes.
2. The markings are not everywhere. In winter, the roads are sprinkled with sand and fine gravel, so the paint wears off quickly and very often at intersections, instead of the stop line itself, there is simply a sign with a “STOP Line” sign.
3. The roads are made of concrete slabs and in bad areas (and there are a lot of them here - where the speed is 50) you drive as if on sleepers - knock, knock... knock, knock :)
4. On highways in and outside the city, where the speed is 80 - 100 km/h. The road surface is excellent.
5. There are a lot of roads where the speed limit is greater than 50, delimited by a boulevard. And in general they try to organize one-way traffic wherever it makes sense.
6. The organization of the movement is very thoughtful and effective. Everywhere there are buffer zones at intersections, interchanges, very large parking lots in front of shops (usually not less store), illuminated pedestrian crossings, etc.
7. There are almost no traffic jams in my city.
8. There are dedicated lanes and separate dedicated roads for cyclists and buses.
9. There are a lot of large multi-storey parking lots in the city center.
10. Parking in the city center is almost always paid from morning until 17:00.

Costs in Canada:

1. A car is not a luxury here and people around you don’t care what you’re driving - a huge pickup truck, a bus, a bicycle or wheelchair with a motor - your social status does not depend on it in any way.
2. Usually there are several cars in a family, so there are most often two, three, etc. garages (or a garage + parking spaces) near the house.
3. The number and cost of cars can only indirectly indicate a family’s wealth. For example, if the car is budget, this does not mean that the family is barely making ends meet. And if it’s expensive, then most likely the income is very large.
4. There is no separate tax on cars. It is included in the price of gasoline. This is one of the reasons why it is difficult or impossible to compare taxes and fuel costs in the Russian Federation and Canada.
5. The price of gasoline is constantly changing. In the spring it cost $119, at the beginning of summer $134, now $120 for 100 liters of regular gasoline. My car consumes about 10 liters per 100 kilometers on the combined cycle.
6. I went 2 times for maintenance to the store that sold me the car. Both times they simply gave me the keys to another car for the duration of the maintenance (they repaired a puncture in the tire, changed the oil in the gearbox). No documents are needed for this. All this was free for me, because... The car is still under warranty. The situation is similar with renting a car. Usually no one checks her when she returns.
7. The price of a car here is significantly lower than in the Russian Federation and slightly higher than in the USA. I bought my 2010 Chevrolet Equinox in new car condition for $9600 (with all taxes and other things). In the Russian Federation of the same year it costs about $26,000 - $28,000. My car:
8. Full insurance (similar to CASCO) for my car is $150 per month. In this case, it will either decrease or increase depending on the issued tickets for violations (receipts for illegal parking are not included here). There is no partial insurance like OSAGO here.
9. They wash their cars here at robotic car washes or by hand at the same car washes (salon, for example). A regular car wash at ESSO costs $6. When you fill up (pay by card right there at the pump with the pistol), you indicate that you need a car wash, and a digital code is printed on the receipt. You drive up to the car wash at the same gas station, enter the code, the green light turns on, you drive in, the car is automatically washed. I washed my car once a summer. Most often, regular rain helps, as it washes away all the dust well.

Bottom line

In general, this is everything that first came to mind. Maybe there are some other very important points, about which I do not know, or simply forgot. Undoubtedly, for greater drama, it must be added that, of course, there is an exception to every rule - in Canada there are murderers and rapists and thieves and so on. But I haven’t met such people yet. I once saw a very vulgar girl on the street - I suspect that she was a prostitute. I also saw drunken and antisocial natives several times in the city center and my wife heard a driver giving another the finger and shouting loudly. But this is where my acquaintance with Canadian criminals ends for now. But I am sure that there are quite a few people who have met the most terrible and antisocial Canadians. I also have no doubt that there will be a lot of disagreements, doubters and misunderstandings. But just in case, I repeat once again - I am Canadian. Positivity is accepted in Canada. It’s fundamentally difficult for me to write negative things about this; my story will probably seem too saccharine to someone. Sorry. I apologize in advance for spelling and other errors. Good luck in your travels and don’t swear, especially over such trifles as someone’s story about the mentality of the inhabitants of a country you’ve never been to. Bye. :)

Updated - 08/12/2014

How to go to Canada?For what?

First you need to understand not how to come, but why to move. Canada is very different from the CIS countries. This is a completely different world. Everything is different here - people, language, mood, laws, thoughts, desires, freedoms, responsibilities, road signs, money, food, medicine, etc. For some immigrants, this world is so alien that they end up returning home frustrated. Some couldn’t find condensed milk here, some couldn’t find their dream job, some categorically don’t like bread, and some are shocked every time by Indians who can’t even put two words together in Russian. In my opinion, those who want to become Canadian should come here, and those who just want to live in Canada should not come here. These are completely different things. If you are ready to let in a culture that is foreign to you, welcome. :) If not, then this constant resistance to everything new, unusual and alien will interfere with you and the people around you for the rest of your life. It seems to me that the vast majority of citizens from Russia are more comfortable living on the territory of the Russian Federation. This is easy to understand if you look at the difference in cultures and mentality - if they all really wanted to live in Canada, they would have built Canada around themselves, not Russia.

How?

Now about how to leave. Here you need to understand that coming to Canada is not very difficult - you just need to get a visa and buy a plane ticket. They don’t always give a visa, even a tourist one, but there is still a chance. Another thing is to obtain Permanet Resident (PR) status, which will allow you to stay here forever and eventually become a citizen. There are several legal and semi-legal ways to stay in Canada as long as possible or even obtain PR and citizenship. Here are some of the most popular:

• Come under the federal program.
• Come under one of the provincial programs.
• Come to study and in the process (after studying) find a job.
• Obtain a work visa remotely and arrive on it, then renew it.
• Come on a tourist visa, quickly find a job and get a work visa.
• Find a relative in Canada (find a spouse), etc.

How I left with my family for Canada.

I did this with the help of MPNP - Manitoba Provincial Nominee Program (http://immigratemanitoba.com). I no longer remember the exact details, and in general I entrusted most of the bureaucratic issues to my wife. :) But in general terms, everything happened something like this: To begin with, I waited until the next visiting session of immigration officers began - from time to time they organize such sessions in different countries(Europe, China, etc.) to interested people could come for an interview and prove that Canada needs them. in 2012 such a session was held in Kyiv. I wrote them a letter. They invited us for an interview. The officers, we and a couple hundred other families of potential immigrants flew to Kyiv. There I had an interview with an immigration officer. As a result of this interview, I was given a nomination from the province. With this nomination, I submitted documents to the embassy and we received visas with beautiful geese and funny photographs. This whole process took us about two years. :) Many of our friends and acquaintances came to Manitoba under the same program, and next summer my classmate and wonderful friend is coming with his family.

What documents did I need?

These were police clearance certificates (immigrants call them “mentor certificates” :) satisfactory test results in English IELST, bureaucratic paperwork such as a birth and marriage certificate, a diploma, a work record book, letters of recommendation from work, a certificate from the bank about the presence of sufficient funds in the account (for a family of three at that time about $14,000 or a little more was required). Almost all of these documents require translations and notarization. Also in the process, at one of the last stages, you need to undergo a medical examination from a certified doctor. To all those who want to call me sick, I can provide such a certificate, which says that I am healthy, with a counter question - “Do you have such a certificate?” :)

P.S.

I also wanted to add that immigration is not betrayal and treason. This is a normal move. People all over the world do this easily and simply, using another liberal achievement of the 21st century - “freedom of movement.”

Updated - 09/13/2014

How we study in Canada.

Based personal experience, as well as the experience of my wife and friends. This applies to free English language programs for those who live as Permanent Residents in the province of Manitoba, the city of Winnipeg. I was in the Entry Program, EESE, on September 15th I will go to the University of Winnipeg. My wife was in the Entry Program, studied at Technical College, and is now studying at the Manitoba Institute of Technology and Trades. My wife and I have been studying for about six months now. In short:

• It's free for immigrants. At the same time, you are an ordinary student with a student card, which provides a variety of discounts (from software and tickets to domain names and subsidies). For example, if both parents are full-time students, or one is a student and the other works, then the state pays for kindergarten for the child.
• At one of the first lessons, they talk about fire safety in a long, detailed and interesting way. Where to go, who to help, where to look for help, where on the street to wait for others, etc. They conduct training right there. Once a year, on a random day, the entire building goes out on a fire alarm - another training session.
• My first Canadian teacher, Jennifer (a US immigrant), was great. I honestly admitted to her that she is the best teacher in my life. Then it turned out that almost all of them are like that and students sometimes argue whose teacher is better. My wife claimed that her teacher (a Korean immigrant) was better than my teacher, Jennifer. Her next teacher (an immigrant from the Philippines) turned out to be even better than the previous one. But I know that my second teacher Dina at EESE school is beyond competition. :) The teacher is addressed by name. The teachers are very polite. They try to help and support in everything. If a student answers incorrectly, or generally talks nonsense, then in this case the teacher will say - “very interesting! But in fact this is not entirely true, the point is that...”. They don’t read from paper or the screen. They just tell something, show it, ask. There is a lot of interactivity, competitions between small groups of several people. Usually, within a couple of hours of class, the group manages to be divided several times, forming small cells that work together to complete the task. At the same time, everyone walks back and forth around the class. It also happens that each time they are seated differently, so that the student does not “sour” in one place and communicates more with others. A lot of positivity, smiles, jokes. Usually classes are very good at raising your mood and overall tone.
• There are no notebooks. Everyone carries a binder (notebook) with them. Even my son kindergarten At the age of 4 I already received my binder. The course is very well structured. It is always clear when the topic begins, what needs to be done, what needs to be achieved, what worked, what did not work, what the next topic is, why this particular topic. Before classes start, they always tell us what the class is, how the lesson will be conducted, and so on. The course was compiled in the same educational institution and printed there and then. If you need to write something, write it right there in the assignment.
• The classrooms are very cozy and comfortable - carpeted flooring, smart board (window). There is a kitchen and a place to eat with microwaves, refrigerators, and dishes. There is often a tennis table where they play during breaks. Free wifi. There is usually a Pray room. (prayer room). :)
• You can take drinks and some food (sweets, for example) with you to class, but instead of glasses and mugs, use only closed thermos containers (flasks) that cannot spill. All Canadians have one for all occasions.
• A certain number of passes are allowed. It's different everywhere. For example, in the Entry Program no absences are allowed at all without a good reason. It is advisable to arrive to classes 10 - 15 minutes in advance - so that you have time to prepare and tune in.
• In addition to the classes themselves, there are seminars to which specialists from a certain field are invited. There are also trips with a group by bus from the educational institution to libraries, parks, museums, etc.
• There are weekly prize draws (expensive good books) for answering questions. I haven't won anything yet. But my group won a couple of times - girls from the Philippines and from India.
• Sometimes there is free parking for student cars.
• There are either no homework assignments, or they are nominal for 5-15 minutes.
• At the end of the course, a Potluck is held where students set the table and eat together. Sometimes students bring ethnic food to Potluck. Even though I don’t look like an Italian, I brought Pizza. :)

P.S. I hope I haven’t forgotten anything important. This is the experience of free courses only in my province and only in a few educational institutions.

Canadian mentality. Life in Canada.

The biggest misconception of humanity is to believe that all Canadian men are the same and all Russian women are different. Canadian and Russian men have significantly different attitudes towards women. They act differently, meet and flirt differently, spend money completely differently, and have different motives for their actions.

A Russian woman will never go on a date with a Russian in sneakers and a worn T-shirt, shorts and a baseball cap, unless of course she wants a fiasco. Silk, stockings and thin-heeled shoes, makeup and hairstyle – these are the things that make a Russian man lose the ability to think sensibly and get stuck in fascination, like a fly in a spider’s web.

Putting on stockings and shoes high heels, making a "marafet" in full - going on a date with a Canadian, a Russian woman will not achieve any results: it worries them or seems abnormal, or has no effect on them at all;

Let's say after a date a Canadian says that the girl is beautiful, that she was the best romantic evening in his life, that he longs to see you and will call you in a week. What does it mean? Nothing really. These are just generally accepted rules of the game, politeness. In reality, he may think that this woman is not for him because she has a child or does not have a decent job, or the girl from Russia speaks broken English... But it is quite possible that he really liked the woman and is just busy in the coming days, then, of course, he will call.

If a Russian says “I’ll call you in a week”, this means only one thing – he will call you in a week. As a rule, Russian men do not make specific promises if they do not intend to fulfill them.

Canadian men are very prudent (in the good sense of the word), consistent and practical. If a man likes a woman, then he wants to get her as his wife (married in Canada), and he is determined only for this result. He will not waste time and effort on a woman who is married or has an established partner, or who is not suitable for him in terms of status or class

Russian men enjoy the process more than the result. They enjoy being in company beautiful woman, seek her attention, show off, talking about herself, cause delight, and for them it does not matter whether she is married or not, whether a close relationship begins, whether they become intimate or not.

Women love Russian men for their unpredictability, generosity, generosity and ability to love without looking back, for the fact that they love women simply because we exist, and for their wonderful opinion that what a woman wants, God wants.

Women from Russia love Canadian men for their openness and unambiguousness, for their devotion and fidelity, for the fact that you can rely on them and trust them with your life, for their responsibility and reliability.

Canadians are very difficult to describe, mainly because they do not have any clear national characteristics. But they don’t exist because there is hardly a country in the world where they welcome those who have “come in large numbers” the way they welcome them in Canada, while respecting the culture, morals and traditions of immigrants.

Who is a Canadian man?

A Canadian is a tall blond Nordic type, a dark, bald short man, and even a yellow-skinned native of Hong Kong who received a residence permit or citizenship here. These people retain the mentality and life habits inherent in them, having grown up in their national environment, so judging Canadians by them can only be done with many conditions and reservations.

We're not talking about immigrants now. last decade: they simply have not yet had time to imbue the spirit of Canada and fully adapt to the local way of life. We'll talk about those Canadians whose family history is calculated by several generations of ancestors.

Former British

Who can you compare real Canadians with? Perhaps only one comparison comes to mind - with the British, their immediate ancestors.

The descendants of the pilgrims who set off from the Mayflower in the 17th century to bring British culture and Christianity to the North American continent still resemble their ancestors in their mentality: they also tend to be somewhat closed, highly value individuality and non-interference in personal life.

For this, they are often called cold and somewhat arrogant people, but such an impression turns out to be superficial and deceptive: Canadians have absolutely all the feelings and emotions that a person should experience, it’s just that all this does not manifest itself very clearly.

Restraint is the most important character trait of a native Canadian: you will not have loud quarrels with him, and your man will try to extinguish any conflict as soon as possible and move on to a constructive one.

When you first meet, a Canadian man is unlikely to hug and kiss you - even if he really likes you. He protects your personal space so much, not considering himself the right to invade it without permission.

Advice: When conducting a dialogue with a Canadian, don’t be too surprised by the minimum of “personal” questions and stingy answers at first: he simply respects your personal life and demands the same respect for his. Be patient and tactful: getting into your soul is not the Canadian way at all.

How are you doing, Canadian?

The high standard of living in Canada creates a feeling of incredible comfort: you don’t want to quarrel or prove anything to anyone - here no one bothers anyone. Therefore, a Canadian temperamentally sorting things out is nonsense, unless upon closer examination it turns out that he is in fact a Portuguese, Mexican or Arab who has recently received a Canadian visa.

Those who have lived in Canada for a long time are polite, law-abiding, cultured, and careful about their health and the environment - just like the average resident of Albion.

Like the British, Canadians are unusually apolitical: everything that happens outside the country usually does not bother them. strong feelings and the desire to rule the planet. This is explained simply: for two hundred years Canada has not known any apocalypses - life here is very established, and the laws and orders are unshakable, like the crown of Elizabeth II, their permanent monarch. So why shake the air?

Much more than world cataclysms, Canadians are concerned, for example, with the state of their native nature (in vain, perhaps, this is where Greenpeace came from - a powerful and influential environmental organization that will not let you show off in a fur coat for even a day natural fur?). Animals are loved here and lovingly cared for, and a hunting license costs a lot of money.

Taking care of your own health in this country has nothing to do with endless running around clinics: Canadians prefer to healthy image life. Among them there are few smokers and drinkers, but there are many athletes.

Canadians hold sports in high esteem, and especially hockey, which can easily be called a national religion. Many men spend entire weekends at the training sessions of local hockey teams, regularly watch NHL matches, and before our eyes turn from reserved gentlemen into frantic fans.

There are also many fans of skiing, swimming, curling, and running among Canadians. Regular exercise bears fruit: Canadian men look good, fit and energetic, which sets them apart from their closest neighbors - the Americans.

Advice: if you love sports and lead a healthy lifestyle, be sure to tell your man about it - your chances of a happy marriage or at least long-term interest in yourself will increase instantly.

So, judging by the portrait, the typical Canadian is not a man, but a dream! But how does he behave in a relationship with a woman, how does he relate to his family and children?

Everything is fair

Honesty is what stands out to anyone who interacts with Indigenous Canadians. If a Canadian is shown in a photo next to a good car, then he is its owner. If he says that he has a big house, then it is so - the house is really big and comfortable.

If he says he has never been married and has no children, I think we should believe it.

Advice: Honesty must be mutual. Don’t invent anything, try not to hide at least fundamental things - believe me, your sincerity will be appreciated and they will be grateful for the truth, whatever it may be.

Be on equal terms

When assessing you as a potential wife, a Canadian man will definitely pay attention to your social status, age difference, and external data. What's strange here, you ask? All men do this! There is nothing strange, it’s just that he is unlikely to be seriously interested in you if he thinks, for example, that you are too young, too beautiful or too successful for him.

To be on an equal footing is what this guy wants.

Advice: objectively evaluate both the man you like and yourself, don’t try to be “too much,” don’t attribute non-existent virtues to yourself, don’t exaggerate, but don’t be too humble either. Be natural and truthful.

Home and life

The attitude of native Canadians towards their home is reminiscent of the British: home is the best and most important thing they have. When you come to visit your man, the first excursion will not be a trip to the city: they will show you the house, garage and car - the great pride of their owner. Even in a profile on a dating site, a real Canadian will definitely post at least a couple of photos of his possessions.

A Canadian’s house is most often his own (this is not neighboring America, where most people live in rented apartments), very cozy and well-kept. If you are considered a good housewife, you have a very high chance of marrying a Canadian. Homely women are valued here.

The life of Canadian men is rational and simple: the general habit of comfort affects them. They love home-cooked food, cleanly washed and ironed clothes - just like ours.

Canadian fashion

The attitude to fashion here is reminiscent of the European one; practicality and convenience are the main criteria by which Canadians choose their clothes and shoes: many don’t even care about color combinations. When going on a first date with a Canadian, don’t rummage through your entire wardrobe in search of “something like that,” don’t torture yourself with high heels, don’t go crazy with your hair and don’t put on makeup—they won’t understand you. And they won't appreciate it. Moreover, they will be suspected of bad taste. Going to a restaurant or going for a walk is not an event, so take it easy.

Advice: dress simply but elegantly, avoid glitter and frills, style your hair loosely and go for it! about how to dress for the first meeting with a foreigner.

Wife and kids

The basis of relationships in a Canadian family is complete equality. This means that you don’t have to carry the entire burden of family affairs alone: ​​your husband will successfully wash the dishes and even cook food if you are busy with something else, do shopping, change the baby’s diapers.

Equality extends to work responsibilities: most likely, no one will allow you to sit at home for the rest of your life, since in Canada everyone who is able to work works, they don’t like dependents here. It is not at all uncommon for families where only the wife works: if her income at some point exceeds her husband’s earnings, the husband can take care of the children for some time until they grow up.

Canadians are good, caring fathers. Here, it is customary for men to pay attention to children from birth - no one will tell you that walking with a child or feeding him porridge is not a man’s business. Your husband will calmly take the baby with him on a Sunday walk to the park or playground, play with him, and remember to change him and feed him. Don’t be afraid to trust your children to your Canadian husband: they will be completely safe with him.

Naturally, like all people, disagreements can arise in families. BUT this is not displayed publicly, family troubles Here it is customary to decide by turning to a psychologist. It is thanks to them that they save their families, begin to understand and appreciate each other more.

Divorce is also not uncommon here. But this is a very difficult operation that requires serious intervention from lawyers. A Russian woman should know that in the event of a divorce, your status does not change (permanent residence and everything else remains the same), but there are cases when, out of unnecessary grievances, “EX” wants to take revenge and claims that the marriage was fictitious. So prove the opposite.

Money

People in Canada treat money with care, although the standard of living here is one of the highest in the world. Spending is definitely not a Canadian sin: even newly arrived immigrants quickly get rid of the habit of spending money left and right. The reason is banal - in Canada it is difficult to find a job without recommendations and guarantees, and benefits simply allow you to live decently, but not to be luxurious.

So, Canadians are very stingy when it comes to spending. What does this mean for you, the potential wife? They will come to you on their first date without flowers, and a joint dinner or lunch will most likely resemble a light snack - and not necessarily in an expensive restaurant.

You shouldn’t expect exciting trips to shops and boutiques either - Canadians have a very philosophical attitude towards clothes and shoes, as mentioned above: as long as the things are clean, practical and comfortable, and the rest is not so important.

However, there will still be gifts (and even very expensive ones) - but only if your man has really serious plans for you. Willingness to spend money on a woman - sure sign that she is treated as more than just a hobby.

Advice: Don't be upset with your Canadian if he's not too generous with you. There will be a serious relationship - there will also be pleasant purchases designed especially for you.

What kind of torment awaits you?

After marrying a Canadian, you will need to wait and prove the validity of the marriage. At the interview, newlyweds are seated in different rooms and asked the same questions about everyday life, habits and tastes, they may even ask about your intimate life, so be prepared.

You will also be required to undergo a medical examination and receive a certificate. The reason for refusal of entry can only be a serious infectious disease that poses a danger to the environment, or a disease that requires expensive treatment.

Typically, the preparation of all documentation takes six months, of which two months are spent checking documents, and three months are issued for sponsorship (Family_Class_Sponsorship). According to this document, the Canadian husband acts as a sponsor for the “foreign” wife, is obliged to provide for her solely, provide her with housing and starting comfort, without placing the problem on the state.

Upon completion of this procedure, a Canadian visa is pasted into your domestic passport and a “Landed_Resident_Card” (similar to the “American_Green_Card”) is sent. With the Landed_Resident_Card you can get a social security card number, a health insurance card and can apply for a driver's license. From this moment on, you are a full-fledged resident of Canada. You only do not have political rights (you do not have an electoral vote and the right, the opportunity to hold certain government positions, or serve in military structures).

Your children (up to age 22) are also eligible to enter the country under the sponsorship of your spouse.

As a result

We hope our short excursion into the mentality and life of Canadians will help you accept the right decision. They are cool guys - Canadians: understandable, predictable, reliable. If you still have doubts, remove all doubts! You are really lucky if your chosen one is Canadian.

Yana, specially for the site site

I remember when we met in person we were already giggling about this topic. Like, Canadians don’t take care of themselves and all that. And now it seems to me that this fact characterizes a society with the best side. This is a society where a woman does not have to constantly tiptoe around to feel confident. She doesn’t need external paraphernalia - makeup, manicure, impeccable hairstyle - because she feels like a woman even without it. She perceives herself not through her appearance, not through her clothes! She is not a commodity that needs to constantly show off her face. She can be herself. I want to put on makeup, I want to put on beautiful shoes, I want to dress up, but I want to sleep longer in the morning - well, I don’t care if I don’t have time to wash my hair.
Note, by the way, that, unlike their appearance, they are trying to monitor their health. And giving up makeup, heels or synthetic clothing can also be interpreted as a way to maintain your health, that’s one, and save money, that’s two. Whichever way you look at it, there are only advantages.
When a woman is not afraid to be imperfect, I can only admire the society in which this is possible, and the men who consider this normal.
And Russian women cultivate the image of “you’re a girl” in themselves from a toddler age. You owe everyone and everything. You must always be pretty, quiet, obedient, otherwise the boys won’t love you and the teacher will scold you. From childhood it is instilled in him: they love only the beautiful and dumb. The kind who always have a smile and no complaints. Be silent, be patient and smile, “you’re a girl.”
A woman must raise children, she must run a household, she must work and she must LOOK. And she must do all this at the highest level. And no one cares how she will feel (and you couldn’t either, given your sadness - your husband will get scared and run away). She is put in such a position that if you fail at least one of these tasks, you risk finding yourself on the sidelines of life. Because the men here believe that she really has to do all this by default, and if she can’t handle it, I’ll go find someone else who can handle it, and you’ll be left here alone, with children and without any social guarantees. They will also draw a picture about “you’ll die of hunger” and “who needs you with children, you’re a divorcee.” This same divorced man automatically goes into the category “ eligible bachelor“, and a divorced woman is a sentence and a stigma. For those who can’t cope, there are trainings on home time management, pictures in magazines about beautiful and successful people who have time for everyone, marathons on “increasing femininity,” magic creams and anti-aging injections. And it’s impossible not to cope, because “a normal man won’t tolerate this” (a woman, in turn, is ordered to endure everything - rudeness, betrayal, emotional and physical violence, for every example, our mighty language will find an excuse like “hitting means loving”). Women's loneliness- this is a horror story that already claims to be a Russian archetype. How many superstitions do we have about “they won’t get you married”? I wonder if there is at least one that frightens a boy by saying that no one will marry him?
And everything, absolutely everything is tied to pleasing a man; millions of ways are being invented to “keep him” or “get him back.” And the boys also grow up with this picture “ real girl" They are growing as consumers. Our consumer society is also a society of consumption of women's resources.
Damn it, I really want to live in a world where a woman’s well-being and happiness do not depend on whether she manages to look 10 years younger than her age, where she does not have to constantly feel dependent on the opinions of others, where she can be sure that that you will be accepted “without embellishment.”