Introduction

Conclusion

Bibliography

Introduction

The problem of upbringing and the role of parents in it is given a lot of attention in pedagogy. After all, it is in the family that the foundation of the personality of a growing person is laid, and it is in it that his development and formation as a person and citizen take place. A parent who successfully performs the function of an educator provides enormous assistance to society.

A successful parent, whether mother or father, must have an understanding of the educational process and know the basic principles of pedagogical science. Parents need to strive to keep abreast of the practical and theoretical research of specialists on the issues of raising a child and the development of his personality.

The positive impact on the child’s personality is that no one, except the people closest to him in the family - mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother, sister, treats the child better, loves him and cares so much about him.

The problem of raising a child in the family and domestic pedagogical science was dealt with by such prominent scientists as K.D. Ushinsky, T.F. Kapterev, S.T. Shatsky, P.F. Lek, E.A. Arkin.

The purpose of this work is to consider the concept, methods and forms family education.

Methods and forms of family

1. Concept and principles of family education

The initial structural unit of society, which lays the foundations of the individual, is the family. It is connected by blood and family relations and unites spouses, children and parents. The marriage of two people is not yet a family; it appears with the birth of children. The main functions of the family lie in the reproduction of the human race, in procreation and raising children (L.D. Stolyarenko).

A family is a social and pedagogical group of people designed to optimally satisfy the needs for self-preservation (procreation) and self-affirmation (self-esteem) of each of its members. The family creates in a person the concept of home not as a room where he lives, but as a feeling, a sensation of a place where he is expected, loved, understood, protected. A family is an entity that “encompasses” a person entirely in all its manifestations. All personal qualities can be formed in the family. The fateful importance of the family in the development of the personality of a growing person is well known.

Family education is a system of upbringing and education that develops in the conditions of a particular family through the efforts of parents and relatives.

Family education is a complex system. It is influenced by heredity and biological (natural) health of children and parents, material and economic security, social status, way of life, number of family members, place of residence of the family (place of home), attitude towards the child. All this is intertwined to a limited extent and manifests itself differently in each specific case.

What are the tasks of the family? Stolyarenko writes that they are:

create maximum conditions for the growth and development of the child;

provide socio-economic and psychological protection of the child;

convey the experience of creating and maintaining a family, raising children in it and relationships with elders;

will teach children useful applied skills and abilities aimed at self-care and helping loved ones;

cultivate a feeling self-esteem, the values ​​of one's own "I".

Family education has its own principles. Let's highlight the most common ones:

-humanity and mercy towards a growing person;

involving children in the life of the family as its equal participants;

openness and trust in relationships with children;

optimism in family relationships;

consistency in your demands (do not demand the impossible);

Providing all possible assistance to your child, being ready to answer his questions.

In addition to these principles, there are a number of private, but no less significant rules for family education: the prohibition of physical punishment, the prohibition of reading other people’s letters and diaries, not moralizing, not talking too much, not demanding immediate obedience, not indulging, etc. All principles, however , come down to one thought: children are welcome in the family not because the children are good, it’s easy to be with them, but the children are good and it’s easy to be with them because they are welcome.

parenting family child

2. The purpose and methods of family education

The goal of family education is the formation of such personality qualities that will help to adequately overcome the difficulties and obstacles encountered on the path of life. Development of intelligence and creativity, primary work experience, moral and aesthetic formation, emotional culture and physical health of children, their happiness - all this depends on the family, on the parents, and all this constitutes the tasks of family education. It is parents - the first educators - who have the strongest influence on children. Even J. J. Rousseau argued that each subsequent teacher has less influence on the child than the previous one.

Family education has its own methods, or rather, the priority use of some of them. These are personal example, discussion, trust, showing, showing love, empathy, personal elevation, control, humor, assignment, tradition, praise, sympathy, etc.

The selection is purely individual, taking into account specific situational conditions.

G. Craig writes that within a few minutes after birth the child, mother and father (if he is present at birth) are involved in the process of bonding, or formation emotional connection. Having uttered the first cry and filled the lungs with air, the newborn calms down mother's breast. After a short rest, the baby may try to focus his gaze on his mother's face, and it seems that he is pausing and listening. This delights his parents, who start talking to him. They carefully study all parts of the baby’s body, looking at fingers and toes and funny tiny ears. By rocking and stroking the newborn, they establish close physical contact with him. Many newborns almost immediately find their mother's breast and begin to suckle, stopping periodically to get their bearings. Children can interact with their parents for more than half an hour as they hold them close, look into their eyes and talk to them. It seems as if the kids want to answer.

It is now firmly established in at least 8 independent laboratories located in 5 countries that children are early stages Infancy is capable of limited imitation of the behavior of their parents. They move their heads, open and close their mouths, and even stick out their tongues in response to their parents' facial expressions.

Some psychologists believe that such early contact between parents and children has important psychological significance for strengthening the bonds connecting children and parents

Early additional contact with the child may be especially beneficial for teenage mothers.

The child literally absorbs the family routine, gets used to it, takes it for granted. This means that the reasons for whims, stubbornness, and bickering with parents are reduced to a minimum, i.e. for negative manifestations that neuroticize the child, and therefore adults.

The way of the home is imprinted in the child’s mind and influences the lifestyle to which he will strive many years later, when creating his own family.

The world of each family is unique and individual, says Craig. But that's it good families They are similar to the priceless feeling of security, psychological safety and moral invulnerability that a happy father’s home bestows on a person.

By nature itself, father and mother are assigned the role of natural educators of their children. According to the law, father and mother are endowed with equal rights and responsibilities in relation to children. But the roles of father and mother are distributed somewhat differently.

T.A. Kulikova believes that for the development of a child’s intelligence, it is preferable that there be both types of thinking in his environment - both male and female. A man's mind is more focused on the world of things, while a woman understands people more subtly. If a child is raised by one mother, the development of intelligence sometimes occurs “according to the female type,” i.e. The child develops better language abilities, but more often develops problems with mathematics.

Very important aspect The development of a child’s personality is the mastery of gender-role behavior. Naturally, parents, being representatives of different sexes, play a major role in this process. The child sees the example of his parents, observes their relationships, cooperation, builds his behavior, imitating them, in accordance with his gender.

B. Spock also believes that the father and mother should and do influence the development of gender-role behavior. In his book “The Child and His Care,” Spock says that parents, through their behavior, statements and encouragement of this or that behavior in children of different sexes, push them to realize that the child is a representative of a certain sex.

Spock emphasizes that fathers and mothers need to behave differently with boys and girls. The father, raising his son, involves him in masculine activities and encourages him to develop such qualities as determination and masculinity. And in the daughter, softness, tenderness, tolerance. The mother usually treats children of both sexes equally warmly, welcoming any positive activity. The relationship between mothers and their sons, fathers and their daughters has a great influence on the formation of children's characters and their attitude towards life. The personality of each child is formed as a result of everyday contacts in family life.

Many mothers and fathers do not think about their attitude towards their daughter or son, since they love them equally. Parents should not establish any special relationship with a child of a certain gender. This parental position usually interferes with the development of the child, adversely affecting the formation of his personality.

Thus, we can say that father and mother play a big role in the development and upbringing of children, they protect their lives, love them, and thus are the source for their development.

T.A. Kulikova in her book “Family Pedagogy and Home Education” calls parents the natural educators of their children.

In raising children, the mother cares for the child, feeds and educates him, the father provides “general leadership”, provides for the family financially, and protects him from enemies. For many, this distribution of roles seems to be the ideal of family relationships, which are based on the natural qualities of a man and a woman - the sensitivity, tenderness, softness of the mother, her special affection for the child, the physical strength and energy of the father. The question arises: to what extent does this distribution of functions actually correspond to the nature of masculinity and femininity in the family? Is a woman really particularly sensitive to emotional state child, to his experiences?

Father and mother should know well what they want to raise in their child. Father's upbringing is very different from mother's. From Margret Mead's point of view, the role of the father in the family is very important. She wrote that a normal family is one where the father bears responsibility for it as a whole. Likewise, when raising children, the father bears great responsibility. “Don’t think that you raise a child only when you talk to him,” A.S. Makarenko wrote in his works, “or teach him, or punish him. You raise him at every moment of your life, even when you are not there.” Houses".

The father brings into education the spirit of masculine firmness, exactingness, adherence to principles, rigor and clear organization. Fatherly attention, fatherly care, everyone who knows how man's hands create harmony in education.

Only the father is able to shape the child’s ability to take initiative and resist group pressure. Savchenko I.A. argues that modern fathers delve much more into raising their children and spend more time with them. And they even take on some of the traditional maternal responsibilities towards their children.

Other psychologists (A.G. Asmolov) argue that Russian men 2 times more likely to express dissatisfaction with their situation with their children. And 4 times more often they say that the father’s participation in child care creates many problems.

The problem of parental education is most acute for Russian society, our state declared the equality of both parents in relation to the child (Code of Laws on Marriage and Family).

For a long time it was believed that maternal feelings are unusually strong from birth, instinctive and only awaken when a child appears. This statement about the innateness of maternal feelings was called into question by the results of many years of experiments on great apes conducted under the leadership of the American zoopsychologist G.F. Harlow. The essence of the experiment is as follows. Newborn cubs were separated from their mothers. The kids began to develop poorly. They were given “artificial mothers” - wire frames, covered with skin, and the behavior of the cubs changed for the better. They climbed on their “mothers,” played next to them, frolicked, and snuggled up to them in case of danger. At first glance, for them there was no difference between their natural and “artificial” mother. But when they grew up and gave birth to offspring, it became clear that the replacement was not complete: the monkeys that grew up in isolation from adults completely lacked maternal behavior! They were as indifferent to their children as their “artificial mothers.” They pushed the kids away, beat them so much when they cried that some died, while others were saved by laboratory staff. Based on experimental data, it was concluded that in higher mammals (and humans are one of them), maternal behavior is acquired as a result of one’s own experiences in early childhood.

And yet, the mother’s path to the child is incomparably more “natural” than the father’s.

3. The influence of family typology on the upbringing of children: types of family upbringing

If we talk about the parental position, about the style of behavior, then we can talk about the types of mother and father.

The typology of mothers is highlighted by A.Ya. Varga:

“A calm, balanced mother” is a real standard of motherhood. She always knows everything about her child. Responsive to his problems. He comes to the rescue in a timely manner. She carefully raises him in an atmosphere of prosperity and kindness.

An “anxious mother” is completely at the mercy of the fact that she constantly worries about the child’s health. She sees everything as a threat to the child's well-being. The mother's anxiety and suspiciousness create a difficult family atmosphere that deprives all its members of peace.

“Sad mother” is always dissatisfied with everything. She is tense with thoughts about herself, about her future. Her anxiety and suspiciousness are caused by thoughts about the child, in whom she sees a burden, an obstacle to possible happiness.

“A confident and powerful mother” - she knows exactly what she wants from her child. The child’s life is planned before his birth, and the mother does not deviate one iota from the implementation of the plan. She suppresses him, erases his uniqueness, extinguishes the desire for independence and initiative.

“Dad - Mom” is a motherly caring dad, he takes on the functions of a mother: he bathes, feeds and reads a book. But he does not always manage to do this with due patience. The pressure of dad's mood puts pressure on the child, when everything is fine, dad is caring, kind, sympathetic, and if something doesn't go well, he can be unrestrained, hot-tempered, even angry.

“Mom-dad” sees the main concern in better pleasing the child. As a mother and as a father, he meekly carries the parental burden. Caring, gentle, without mood swings. The child is allowed everything, everything is forgiven, and he sometimes “settles” comfortably on his father’s head and turns into a little despot.

"Karabas - barabas." Dad is a scarecrow, angry, cruel, always recognizing only “hedgehog gloves” in everything. Fear reigns in the family, driving the child’s soul into a labyrinth of dead-end off-road roads. Punishment for what has been done as a preventive measure is the favorite method of such a dad.

"Die Hard" is an unyielding type of dad who recognizes only rules without exception, never making compromises to ease the child's lot when he is wrong.

"Jumper" - dragonfly. Dad, living, but not feeling like a father. The family is a heavy burden for him, the child is a burden, the subject of his wife’s worries, what she wanted, she got! At the first opportunity, this type turns into a visiting dad.

“Good fellow”, “Shirt-guy” - dad at first glance is both a brother and a friend. It's interesting, easy and fun with him. He will rush to help anyone, but at the same time he will forget about his own family, which his mother does not like. The child lives in an atmosphere of quarrels and conflicts, in his heart he sympathizes with his dad, but is unable to change anything.

“Neither fish nor fowl”, “under the thumb” - this is not a real dad, because he does not have his own voice in the family, he echoes his mother in everything, even if she is not right. Fearing his wife's anger in difficult moments for the child, he does not have the strength to go over to his side to help.

Thus, we can conclude that the love of parents for their child is the basis for the latter’s acquisition of the social ability to love his own parents.

Domestic scientist A.V. Petrovsky identifies family education tactics.

"Cooperation". Democratic parents value both independence and discipline in their children’s behavior. They themselves give him the right to be independent in some areas of his life; without infringing on his rights, they simultaneously require the fulfillment of duties.

"Dictat". Authoritarian parents demand unquestioning obedience from their children and do not believe that they owe them an explanation for their instructions and prohibitions. They tightly control all areas of life, and they can do this not entirely correctly. Children in such families usually become withdrawn, and their communication with their parents is disrupted.

The situation becomes more complicated if high demands and control are combined with an emotionally cold, rejecting attitude towards the child. A complete loss of contact is inevitable here. An even more difficult case is indifferent and cruel parents. Children from such families rarely treat people with trust, experience difficulties in communication, and are often cruel themselves, although they have a strong need for love.

"Hypocustody." The combination of an indifferent parental attitude with a lack of control is also an unfavorable option for family relationships. Children are allowed to do whatever they want; no one is interested in their affairs. Behavior becomes uncontrollable. And children, no matter how they rebel sometimes, need their parents as support; they need to see a model of adult, responsible behavior that they can follow.

Overprotection - excessive care for a child, excessive control over his entire life, based on close emotional contact - leads to passivity, lack of independence, and difficulties in communicating with peers.

"Non-interference" - it is assumed that there can be two worlds, adults and children, and neither one nor the other should cross the intended line.

Thus, any father and any mother should know that there are no strictly established rules in raising children, there are only general principles, the implementation of which depends on each individual child and each individual parent. The task of parents is to organize the education process in such a way as to achieve desired results, the key to this can be the internal harmony of each of the parents.

An important factor influencing the formation of a child’s personality is the atmosphere in the family, the presence of emotional contact between the child and his parents. Many researchers emphasize that love, care, and attention from close adults are a necessary, unique vital feature for a child. important vitamin which gives him a feeling of security and ensures emotional balance of his self-esteem.

Conclusion

So, the family plays a huge role in the education process. After all, it is in the family that the foundation of the personality of a growing person is laid, and it is in it that his development and formation as a person and citizen take place.

It is in the family that the child receives his first life experience, makes his first observations and learns how to behave in various situations. It is very important that what we teach a child is reinforced concrete examples so that he can see that in adults, theory does not diverge from practice.

That is why it is so important that the child perceives the family positively. The positive impact on the child’s personality is that no one, except the people closest to him in the family - mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother, sister, treats the child better, loves him and cares so much about him.

Parents must understand that they are obliged to:

Take an active part in family life;

Always find time to talk with your child;

Take an interest in the child’s problems, delve into all the difficulties that arise in his life and help develop his skills and talents;

Do not put any pressure on the child, thereby helping him make his own decisions;

Have an understanding of the different stages in a child's life.

Bibliography

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.Lansky Wiki. Handbook for parents:1500 invaluable advice for the first five years of your child’s life / Lansky V.-M.: Eksmo-Market, 2000.-288p.

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.Raising healthy, smart and kind people: education of primary schoolchildren: Pos. for universities, primary school teachers and parents. - 2nd ed. - M.: Academy, 1997. - 288 p.

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lamas of the hostel, intransigence to any violations of the law, willingness to participate in maintaining law and order.

Economic education involves solving such problems as the development of economic thinking of the individual for a correct understanding of the operation of the laws and phenomena of economic life; formation of a modern understanding of the processes of social development, understanding of the role of labor and one’s place in the labor process; fostering a caring attitude towards state property; developing skills that will make it possible to take an active part in economic activity.

The criteria for assessing the level of economic thinking are the depth of economic knowledge and the ability to apply it in practice.

In general, all areas of education are implemented together, complement each other and ensure the process of formation of a comprehensively developed, harmonious personality.

Education is the process of shaping personality traits. IN psychologically personality quality is a system of knowledge, beliefs, feelings, habits; any personality quality is an element of its consciousness. The main stages in the formation of personality quality are the formation of ideas about a given personality quality, the transition of concepts into beliefs, the formation of appropriate behavior, habits, and the cultivation of appropriate feelings.

At the same time, there is an influence of the educator (educator) on the educated. Influence is the activity of the educator (or the form of exercise by him of his functions), which leads to a change in any characteristics of the pupil’s personality, his behavior and consciousness. A teacher can influence a student’s consciousness and behavior not only through his pedagogical actions, but also through his personal qualities (such as kindness, sociability, etc.)

Influence in the process of upbringing can be directed (i.e., focused on a specific person or his specific qualities and actions) or undirected (when it is not aimed at a specific object), in addition, it can be in the form direct impact(i.e. direct manifestation by the teacher of his positions and requirements for the student) or indirect impact(when it is directed not directly at the object of influence, but at its environment).

3. Methods and forms of education

Education is carried out using a system of methods, and can be implemented in various forms, which are used to create conditions for the formation and creative self-improvement of the individual, development communication skills, social activity and maturity, national self-awareness, humanistic orientation of the individual.

IN In a broad sense, form is a way of organization, and method is a way of achieving results. Forms of education represent the external expression of the content of education, methods of organization and the relationship of its individual elements.

There are mass, group and individual forms of education

tions, each of which has its own specifics. Thus, mass forms of work are characterized by the episodic nature of educational activities and a significant number of participants. These include conferences, theme evenings, shows, competitions, Olympiads, festivals, tourism, etc. Group forms differ in duration and consistency in a particular group. Such forms are debates, collective creative activities, clubs, amateur artistic activities, sports sections, excursions, etc. Individual educational work involves independent work brought up over oneself under the guidance of a teacher, gradually turning into self-education.

Methods determine specific ways to achieve educational goals and increase the efficiency of organizing forms.

A. Makarenko, pointing to the humanistic orientation of education, noted that the method of education is an instrument of touching the individual. Yu. Babansky saw the purpose of education methods in the cooperation of educators and those being educated. The method of education, he pointed out, is a method of interconnected activity between educators and those being educated, aimed at solving educational problems.

Educational methods are the ways in which the educator influences the consciousness, will, feelings and behavior of those being educated, aimed at developing their beliefs and behavioral skills.

The main mechanisms of influence in education are:

persuasion - a logically reasoned influence of the educator on the rational sphere of consciousness of those being educated;

suggestion - the influence of the educator on the consciousness of the pupils by reducing consciousness and criticality in the perception and implementation of the suggested content;

contagion is the unconscious susceptibility of those being brought up to the emotional influence of the teacher;

imitation is a conscious or unconscious reproduction by the educated of the teacher’s experience.

Educational methods include techniques (sets of specific actions in the structure of the method), among which there are creative (praise, request, trust, etc.) and inhibitory (hint, distrust, condemnation, etc.).

IN In modern pedagogy, it is customary to distinguish several groups of methods, basing the classification on the most important stages of the holistic structure of activity.

TO the first group includes methods of forming the consciousness of the individual. TO

These include the method of persuasion, the main forms of implementation of which are

are conversations, lectures, debates, meetings, conferences, etc. (not to be confused with forms of education) and positive example method, i.e. purposeful and systematic influence of the educator on those being educated by the power of personal example, as well as all kinds of positive examples as role models, an ideal in life (the example of comrades, examples from literature, art, the life of outstanding people).

The second group includes methods of organizing and creating experience social behavior, with the help of which the necessary skills are formed, the required habits and skills are developed, creating conditions for the implementation of positive intra-collective relationships.

These include:

exercise method (or training method),consisting in organi-

the formation of systematic and regular performance by pupils of certain actions with the aim of their transition to forms of social behavior (various types of tasks for group and individual activities in the form of assignments, demands, competitions, showing samples, etc.);

pedagogical requirements method, consisting of presenting a memory

implied direct (in the form of instructions or even orders) or indirect (in the form of a request, advice, hint, etc.) demands;

method of creating educational situations,those. specially created pedagogical conditions, ensuring the organization of a certain form of social behavior. Examples of such situations are the following: a situation of advance by trust, a situation of free choice, a situation of correlation, a situation of competition, a situation of success, a situation of creativity, etc.

The third group includes methods of stimulating activity and behavior

deniya, which include methods of reward and punishment, approval and condemnation, control, perspective, public opinion.

Each method allows you to solve certain educational problems, but none of the methods is universal, allowing you to solve all educational problems. Therefore, education is always ensured by using a combination of methods.

For a parenting method to be effective, certain conditions must be met.

Let's consider some of them in relation to basic methods of education.

Conviction is the teacher’s influence on the rational sphere of the student’s consciousness. In this case, influence can be carried out in two ways: persuasion

speaking by word and persuasion by deed.

Persuasion with a word involves clarification, evidence or refutation, which will be effective only when they have strict logic, are supported by figures and facts, and illustrated with examples and episodes from life.

Persuasion by action involves the use of a living practical example through personal demonstration, demonstration of the experience of others, or organization of joint activities.

Positive example method involves influencing the consciousness and behavior of those brought up by the system with positive examples designed to serve as a role model for them, a basis for the formation of an ideal of behavior, a stimulus and means of self-education. In this case, examples are most often used from the lives of outstanding people, from the history of their state and people, from literature and art, and the personal example of a teacher.

For example to be an effective means of education, the following conditions must be met:

social value of example;

the reality of achieving the goal;

closeness to the interests of those being raised;

brightness, emotionality, infectiousness of the example;

combination of example with other methods.

The method of encouragement involves external active stimulation of the student’s motivation for positive, proactive, creative activity. In this case, a variety of means can be used: encouraging gestures and facial expressions of the teacher, his encouraging appeals to the student, assessment of the student’s action as exemplary, declaration of gratitude, etc.

The incentive is valid under the following conditions:

validity and fairness of incentives;

timeliness of encouragement;

variety of incentives;

publicity promotion;

solemnity of the promotion ritual, etc.

Having mastered a system of educational methods, a teacher can, in each specific case, choose those that, in his opinion, will be the most rational. Being a very flexible, very subtle tool for touching the individual, the method of education is always addressed to the team, used taking into account its dynamics, maturity, and organization. Consequently, methods of education must be chosen taking into account the goals, content and principles of education, as well as specific pedagogical tasks and conditions.

4.Family education

The foundations of the personality structure of each person are laid in the family. The family is the primary unit of society, where people are connected by blood and kinship. It unites spouses, children and parents. The marriage of two people is not yet a family; it appears with the birth of children. The main function of the family is the reproduction of the human race, the birth and upbringing of children.

Family is a social group based on marriage and family ties, and at the same time, it is a system of interpersonal interaction, a holistic, organic, ordered system that “encompasses” a person entirely in all his manifestations. The family creates in a person the concept of home not as a room where he lives, but as a place where he is expected, loved, understood, protected.

Family education is a system of upbringing and education that develops in the conditions of a particular family, a process of interaction between parents and children, which is based on family closeness, love and care, respect and protection of the child, which creates favorable conditions for meeting the needs for development and self-development spiritually, morally and intellectually prepared personality. Family education is a complex system that depends on many factors: heredity and biological (natural) health of children and parents, material security, social status, way of life, number of family members, place of residence, attitude towards the child, etc. All these factors are intertwined and manifest themselves differently in each specific case.

The most important tasks of the family in terms of family education are to:

create best conditions for the growth and development of the child;

ensure socio-economic and psychological protection of children

convey the experience of creating and maintaining a family, raising children in it and relationships with elders;

teach children practical skills aimed at self-care and helping loved ones;

develop self-esteem and self-worth.

Family education also has its own principles , the most important of them are:

humanity and mercy towards a growing person;

involving children in the life of the family as its equal participants;

openness and trust in relationships with children;

optimism in family relationships;

consistency in your demands (it is impossible to demand impossible-

helping your child, being ready to answer his questions. The content of family education covers all areas: physical

social, aesthetic, labor, mental, moral, among which a special place is occupied by moral education and, first of all, the education of such qualities as benevolence, kindness, attention and mercy to elders, juniors and the weak, honesty, openness, hard work.

The purpose of family education is to develop the personal qualities necessary to adequately overcome the obstacles and difficulties encountered along the path of life.

In family education, these methods are most often used

as a personal example, discussion, trust, showing, showing love, empathy, control, assignment, praise, sympathy, etc.

Of particular importance for family education is love for the child, however, it should not be just any kind, but pedagogically appropriate, i.e. love in the name of the unborn child. Blind, unreasonable parental love leads to flaws in upbringing and gives rise to consumerism, neglect of work, and selfishness in children.

There are several types of improper upbringing of children in the family, including:

neglect, lack of controlwhen parents are too busy with their own affairs and do not pay the necessary attention to their children, as a result they are left to their own devices and often fall under the influence of “street” companies;

overprotection, when a child is under constant supervision, hears prohibitions and orders from parents, as a result of which he can become indecisive, lack of initiative, and fearful;

education according to the type of family “idol”, when a child gets used to being the center of attention, he is constantly admired, his every desire and request is indulged, as a result, he cannot correctly assess his capabilities and overcome his egocentrism;

Cinderella-type education when a child feels that his parents do not love him, they are burdened by him. He grows up in an environment of emotional rejection, indifference, and coldness. As a result, the child may develop neurosis, excessive sensitivity to adversity, or embitterment;

« cruel upbringing" when a child is punished for the slightest offense and grows up in constant fear. As a result, he may become callous, rigid, shifty, or aggressive;

education in conditions of increased moral responsibility, co-

when a child is instilled with the idea that he must live up to the ambitious expectations of his parents, or when he is burdened with unbearable non-childish worries. As a result, children develop obsessive fears and a constant feeling of anxiety.

Improper family upbringing disfigures the child’s character, dooms him to neurotic breakdowns and difficult relationships with others.

One of the most unacceptable methods of family education is the method of physical punishment, when children are influenced through fear. Such upbringing leads to physical, mental and moral trauma that deforms behavior; children have difficulty adapting to the team, and almost inevitably begin to have problems with their studies. Subsequently, they themselves become cruel.

PLAN:

Introduction 3 Family and Personality 4 Two forms of education 5 Parental impact 8 tasks of education in the family 10 Conditions for raising family education 14 combination of family and public education 16 Conclusion 18 used literature 19

Introduction.

A child was born. I began to settle into the world. You look - he has already walked, and started talking, and has learned to understand a little “what’s what.” Everything seems to be natural, but... . But before there was learning, and by learning, the child is constantly being educated.

The process of education is aimed at the formation of social qualities of the individual, at creating and expanding the range of his relationships to the surrounding world - to society, to people, to himself. The wider, more diverse and deeper a person’s system of relationships to various aspects of life, the richer his own spiritual world.

Communication is a special area of ​​a child’s life and activity. It reflects the human need to be among one’s own kind. L.S. Vygotsky also emphasized that already a baby can be called the most social creature. Many facts indicate that even a toy in the hands of a child is often only a means of communication with adults. The child turns to an adult not only to receive help, but also to satisfy the need for communication.

Thus, the personality is formed in the process of active interaction with the outside world, mastering social experience and public values. Based on a person’s reflection of objective relationships, the formation of internal positions of the individual occurs, individual characteristics mental makeup, develops character, intellect, his attitude towards others and towards himself. Being in a system of collective and interpersonal relationships, in the process of joint activities, the child asserts himself as an individual among other people. No one is born with a ready-made character, interests, inclinations, will, or certain abilities. All these properties are developed and formed gradually, throughout life, from birth to adulthood.

Family and personality.

The first world surrounding a child, the initial unit of society, is the family, where the foundations of personality are laid. What is family? Many authors of popular publications talk about it as if this definition is clear to everyone, like the concept of “bread” or “water”. But scientists and specialists put different meanings into it. Thus, the prominent demographer B.Ts. Urlanis gave it the following definition: it is a small social group united by housing, a common budget and family ties. This formulation is also accepted by many Western demographers, primarily by Americans. And the Hungarians take as a basis the “presence of a family nucleus,” that is, they take only family ties, discarding the territorial-economic community. Professor P.P. Maslov believes that three indicators are not enough to recognize the definition given by Urlanis as complete. Because if all three “components” are present, there may not be a family at all if there is no mutual understanding and mutual assistance between its members, which must be included in the definition of a family. The child sees family as the close people around him: dad and mom, grandparents, brothers and sisters.

So, a person is born spiritually through communication with people around him. What a huge responsibility this places on the family! What a lot of obligations! What a subtle process is constantly going on nearby! In fact, the house where a small child grows up is a complex psychological laboratory where every word, movement, and intonation is captured. This stage of the child’s own actions is key in the further formation of personality.

The child has grown up. The family faces the question of continuing education at home or trusting education in special institutions. This question is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. There has been debate on this topic for centuries.

Two forms of education.

In the history of the development of society, the problem of the relationship between family and school in raising children has not always been solved unambiguously. Thus, the ancient Romans believed that only the family should and can provide a good education, and the ancient Greeks gave preference to the school. The ancient philosopher Plato, following Socrates, believed that a child could receive true education only in public schools, where he should be sent from the age of seven.

In the Middle Ages, when the church had a strong ideological influence, it was believed that only in a monastery, in a church or monastery school, children could receive a good education.

In the 18th and early 19th centuries. The view on the organization of education is changing. I.G. Pestalozzi advocated the rational education of children in the family. He idealized the petty-bourgeois family and utopianly dreamed of improving the health of humanity through family-work education.

The most prominent representative of utopian socialism, Robert Owen, took opposing positions. He dreamed that children from the age of three would be in public educational institutions, where all conditions should be created to equip the younger generation with deep and comprehensive knowledge. R. Owen had a negative attitude towards family education and wanted to put a person in good conditions, to give him proper upbringing and education in government institutions from an early age.

Families of all classes have traditionally taken great care in raising children. Among the people, it was most often built on the principle “do as I do,” that is, family education was based on the authority of parents, their deeds and actions, and family traditions. The father, the head of the family, acted primarily as a model. His example, as a rule, was a role model for boys; girls more often learned from their mother. Since peasant families were often visited by various misfortunes: fires, hunger, illness and premature death, children lost their parents and remained orphans. Then the upbringing of children was carried out by the whole world, the community, and sometimes even complete strangers, to whom children were sent as students. At the same time, folk pedagogy worked clearly with all the traditional rules and clear ideas about good and evil, permissible and forbidden, permitted and impossible.

In noble and wealthy families, education was carried out by nurses and nannies assigned to serve the little master. They instilled love for their native land, native nature, Russian speech; They nurtured the “Russian spirit” and conveyed, along with folk songs and fairy tales, folk ideas about truth and justice, honor and dignity. Growing up children were handed over to be raised by French tutors and governesses, who taught the rules of good manners, social manners, and languages.

In general, the phenomenon of governing has a deep positive meaning: lectures and moral teachings are read by a stranger, whom you may not like for constant comments, whom you can make fun of, make fun of. Parents shower their children with affection and positive emotions, so their children always remember them with adoration and deep respect.

Democratic revolutionaries V.G. Belinsky, A.I. Herzen, N.G. Chernyshevsky and N.A. Dobrolyubov looked differently at the role of the family in raising children. They said that raising children should be carried out in the family and school. At the same time, they assigned a special role to the mother, her education and culture. In their opinion, without the education of the mother it is impossible to establish good relationships in families.

V.G. Belinsky believed that the task of universal education lies not only with society as a whole, but also with the family and parents. Family education, in his opinion, should develop social interests and aspirations in children. A.I. Herzen, developing this idea, talked about how important it is to learn in the family to curb one’s selfishness and take into account the demands of others, participate in a common cause, and fight for the good of everyone.

Modern teachers and psychologists argue that even several months of “deprivation of love” cause irreparable damage to the mental, moral and emotional development of a child under three years of age. That is, it is in very early childhood that the foundation of a person’s entire subsequent spiritual life is laid, and the strength of this foundation, the materials from which it is made, determines what kind of structure can then be erected on it, of what size and complexity.

This means that the creation of the spiritual basis of the individual is the goal, the meaning of family education.

Parental influence.

The school of feelings is the primary importance of family for child! Everything that concerns the intimate-emotional sphere and the sphere of family relationships is fully formed only in a normal - warm and friendly - family. Here, “at the hearth,” a person first discovers what tenderness and care for loved ones are. Here he learns the value of kindness and selflessness. Here one learns to love and empathize. Here one begins to respect marriage, woman, and motherhood.

Of course, in the nursery the baby joyfully reaches out to the nanny, and in kindergarten sticks to the teacher and looks into her mouth, and at school becomes attached to the teacher. But here there is always one adult for many children, and the amount of attention and affection received by each, naturally, is not so great. In addition, in any children's institution, children communicate with adults in the, so to speak, pedagogical sphere - after all, adults are there specifically to teach and educate children.

In a family, a child lives in the company of two or more close people who love him, give him a lot of time, love and warmth and demand love from him in return. The baby has not yet learned to speak or walk, but he is already encouraged to experience various feelings. And he begins to experience them.

At the same time, his attitude towards his father is always somewhat different than towards his mother, his attachment to a brother or sister is not the same as to his grandmother. He is not at all indifferent to the relationship between his parents. No matter how small he is, he feels everything perfectly, sensitively perceives their harmony and quarrels. The love of parents for each other can become the main educational factor influencing the child. And the indifferent attitude of family members among themselves and towards the child often gives rise to unaccountable fear, wariness, and then cruelty in the latter.

It is also very important that the people around him not only raise him, they live nearby, in front of his eyes, with all their joys and sorrows, and he sees and hears a lot of things that are not at all addressed to him, but have a strong impact on the child’s psyche . Where else in such a vivid and understandable form can a child observe such relationships as love, unity, intimacy, trust, willingness to sacrifice something for another?! Here he sees all this, here he learns it.

The multiplicity and variety of emotional connections actively develop and enrich the soul of a little person, forming such qualities and personality traits that will help to adequately overcome the difficulties and obstacles encountered on the path of life.

So, family education is the pedagogy of everyday life, the pedagogy of every day, it is an ongoing experiment, creativity, work that has no end, does not allow you to stop, freeze in complacent peace. Family pedagogy in everyday life performs a great sacrament - the formation of a person’s personality. Family work, finally, is the most complex of productions - human production. And, like any job, family education has its own tasks.

Tasks of education in the family.

The development of intelligence and creative abilities, cognitive powers and primary work experience, moral and aesthetic formation, emotional culture and physical health of children - all this depends on the family, on the parents, and all this constitutes the tasks of family education.

Parenting is a process of interaction between parents and children, which must certainly bring pleasure to both sides.

In the first year of a child’s life, the main concern of parents is to create normal conditions for physical development, ensure a diet throughout life, and normal sanitary and hygienic conditions. During this period, the child already expresses his needs, reacts to pleasant and unpleasant impressions and expresses his desires in his own way. The task of adults is to learn to distinguish between needs and whims, since the needs of the child must be met and whims suppressed. Thus, the child in the family receives his first moral lessons, without which he cannot develop a system of moral habits and concepts.

In the second year of life, the child begins to walk, strives to touch everything with his own hands, to reach the unattainable, and mobility sometimes gives him a lot of grief. Education during this period should be based on the reasonable inclusion of the child in various types of activities; he should be shown everything, explained, taught to observe, play with him, tell stories and answer questions.

But, if his actions go beyond the boundaries of what is permitted, the child must be taught to understand and unquestioningly obey the word.

In preschool age, the main activity of the child is play. Children three and four years old prefer construction and household games. By constructing various buildings, the child learns about the world around him. The child takes situations for games from life. The wisdom of parents lies in quietly telling the child what the hero should do in the game (the main thing is actor). Thus, they teach him to understand what is good and what is bad, what moral qualities are valued and respected in society, and what are condemned.

Preschoolers and primary schoolchildren receive their first moral experience in the family, learn to respect their elders, take them into account, learn to do something pleasant, joyful, and kind to people.

The moral principles of a child are formed on the basis of and in connection with the intensive mental development of the child, the indicator of which is his actions and speech. Therefore, it is important to enrich children’s vocabulary and, when talking with them, to provide an example of good pronunciation of sounds and words and sentences in general. In order to develop speech, parents should teach children to observe natural phenomena, identify similar and different things in them, listen to fairy tales and stories and convey their content, answer questions and ask their own. Speech development is an indicator of an increase in the child’s general culture, a condition for his mental, moral and aesthetic development.

In preschool age, children are very mobile, they cannot concentrate on one thing for a long time, or quickly switch from one type of activity to another. Schooling will require concentration, perseverance, and diligence from the child. Therefore, it is important, even in preschool age, to accustom a child to the thoroughness of the tasks he carries out, to teach him to complete the task or game he has begun, and to show perseverance and perseverance. It is necessary to develop these qualities in play and household work, including the child in the collective work of cleaning the room, in the garden, or playing household or outdoor games with him.

As a child grows up in a family, the tasks, means and methods of education change. The educational program includes sports, outdoor games, hardening of the body and strict implementation of morning exercises. A large place is occupied by the issues of sanitary and hygienic training of children, the development of skills and habits of personal hygiene, and a culture of behavior. The right relationships are established between boys and girls - relationships of camaraderie, mutual attention and care. The family is the child’s first school of communication. In a family, a child learns to respect elders, take care of the elderly and sick, and provide all possible assistance to each other. In communicating with people close to the child, in joint household work, he develops a sense of duty and mutual assistance. Children are especially sensitive to relationships with adults, do not tolerate moralizing, harshness, orders, have a hard time with the rudeness of elders, mistrust and deception, petty control and suspicion, dishonesty and insincerity of parents.

The best means of cultivating correct relationships is the personal example of father and mother, their mutual respect, help and care, manifestations of tenderness and affection. If children see a good relationship in the family, then, as adults, they themselves will strive for the same beautiful relationships. In childhood, it is important to cultivate a feeling of love for your loved ones - for parents, for brothers and sisters, so that children feel affection for one of their peers, affection and tenderness for their younger ones.

The family plays a large role in labor education. Children are directly involved in household work, learn to serve themselves, and perform feasible labor duties to help their father and mother. From how it will be delivered labor education children even before school, their success in learning, as well as in general labor education, depends. The presence in children of such an important personality quality as hard work is a good indicator of their moral education.

Conditions of education in the family.

The family has favorable conditions for the aesthetic education of children. A child’s sense of beauty begins with meeting a bright and beautiful toy, a colorfully decorated book, with a cozy apartment. As the child grows, the perception of beauty is enriched when visiting theaters and museums. A good remedy Aesthetic education is nature with its beautiful and unique colors and landscapes. Excursions and trips with the whole family to the forest, to the river, to pick mushrooms and berries, and to go fishing leave indelible impressions that the child will carry throughout his life. When communicating with nature, the child is surprised, happy, proud of what he saw, heard the singing of birds - at this time the education of feelings occurs. A sense of beauty and interest in beauty help to cultivate the need to cherish and create beauty. The aesthetics of everyday life has great educational power. Children not only enjoy the comfort of home, but together with their parents learn to create it. In cultivating a sense of beauty, a significant role belongs to the manner of dressing correctly and beautifully.

Metabolism, growth of the whole body and individual organs. Physical labor is a means of combating fatigue, especially for people engaged in mental work. Changing types of work and a reasonable combination of them in a child’s daily routine ensures his successful mental activity and maintains working capacity.

Labor education is an integral part of the comprehensive development of the individual. By how a child treats work, what work skills he has, others will judge his value.

An important condition for the successful upbringing of children is the unity of requirements for children by all family members, as well as the same requirements for children from family and school. The lack of unity of requirements between school and family undermines the authority of the teacher and parents and leads to a loss of respect for them.

Developed at an early age, spiritual needs and the ability to communicate with peers and adults enrich the child’s personality and require the use of opportunities in society. And they can be applied by trusting in collective forms of education.

A combination of family and public education.

Continuing family education, it is extremely important to find the key to combining family and social education, because such a combination is desirable and absolutely necessary. Indeed, in the early years of a child’s life, a family is needed for the formation of certain areas of human consciousness, human psychology, and its absence entails sad and far-reaching consequences, such as, for example, delinquency. The time that children spend at home, after nursery, kindergarten, school, is quite enough for the family to play its intended role.

In cleverly organized, well-coordinated children's communication, our boys and girls receive a strong, healthy starter. Here they get used to discipline and routine. Here they learn the precious feeling of comradeship, acquire the skills of camaraderie and mutual assistance. Here one becomes imbued with a sense of responsibility to and for comrades. Here they learn to take care of the honor of the team and consider themselves part of a single whole. In a word, here traits are laid in the character of children that make them worthy members of society.

Let social forms of education grow and improve! Not in opposition to the family, not in replacement of it. And as a means that, organically combined with home education, complements it, enriches it, and unusually expands its “range”. And it in no way frees parents from their parental duty, and in no way underlines the fact that raising children is the main social function of the family. But on the other hand, it obliges parents to carefully coordinate their efforts with extra-family influences on the child, obliges them to actively participate in the work of those institutions where they study and are brought up, obliges them to help teachers in nurturing children.

Unity of effort, constant friendly contact between family, school and the public is what we should strive for, this is the key to sure success in educating the younger generation!

Conclusion.

So, no matter how wonderful public education may be, where the ultimate goal is the formation of ideals, the formation of a child’s personality is laid in the family, under the influence of parental love for the sake of his future, under the influence of the authority of parents, family traditions. After all, everything that he sees and hears in the family, he repeats and imitates the adults. And this stage of the child’s own actions (namely actions, not actions) is key in the formation of personality. Thanks to this accomplished action, the child enters the context of social relations, already playing a certain social role. The educational process in the family has no boundaries, beginning or end. Parents for children are a life ideal, not protected in any way from the child’s gaze. The family coordinates the efforts of all participants in the educational process: school, teachers, friends. The family creates for the child the model of life into which he is included. The influence of parents on their own children ensures their physical perfection and moral purity. The family shapes such areas of human consciousness that only it can truly shape. And children, in turn, carry the charge of the social environment in which the family lives.

USED ​​BOOKS :

Afanasyeva T.M., Family today - M.: Knowledge, 1977.

Lavrov A.S., Lavrova O.L., Comrade Child - M.: Znanie, 1964;

Pedagogy: edited by S.P. Baranov and others - M.: Education, 1976;

Pedagogy: edited by P.I. Pidkasisty - M.: Rospedagentstvo, 1996;

Pedagogical encyclopedia - volume 2 - M.: Soviet encyclopedia, 1965. - 659 p.

Page 9 of 23

Methods and techniques of family education

The comprehensive influence of parents on children, as well as the content and nature of this influence, are explained by those mechanisms of child socialization that are most effectively activated in family education. Psychologists have identified reinforcement, identification, and understanding as such mechanisms. Let's consider ways for a child to master these mechanisms in the context of family education.

Reinforcement- formation of a type of behavior that corresponds to the family’s value ideas about what is “good” and what is “bad”. Value orientations in different families differ significantly. One dad believes that a son should be kind and compliant, while another, on the contrary, sees the ideal of a man in physical strength, in the ability to stand up for himself. In word and deed, parents approve, encourage, stimulate the behavior of the child that corresponds to their ideas about a “good” person. And if a child acts contrary to these ideas, then he is punished, shamed, and blamed. For young children, emotional reinforcement is important: approved, desirable behavior is positively reinforced and thus strengthened, negative behavior is negative and therefore removed from the behavioral repertoire. So, day after day, a system of norms and rules is introduced into the child’s consciousness, and an idea is formed of which of them are acceptable and which should be avoided. However, despite the prevailing opinion that a child is a “mirror of the family,” he does not assimilate the “moral code” of his family from A to Z. Passing it through the prism of personal experience, the child “creates” his own set of rules of behavior, relationships, activities and follows it out of habit, and then - internal need.

Identification– the child’s recognition of parents, their authority, imitation of them, more or less orientation towards their example of behavior, relationships with others, activities, etc. In raising children, do not create such circumstances and conditions when the child will pay attention to patterns of behavior and activities of adults. The fact is that parents do a lot of good things outside the home, being out of sight of the child, and what mom and dad do in the family every day often goes unnoticed. In this case, one cannot hope for effective identification.

Understanding is aimed at promoting the formation of the child’s self-awareness and his personality as a whole. No one can do this better than parents, since they know the child’s inner world, feel his mood, quickly respond to his problems, and create conditions for the revelation of his individuality.

By themselves, the mechanisms considered only indicate the paths of socialization, while the content of social experience depends on the specific family. After all, a boy, for example, can imitate a rowdy father, and a girl can imitate a dry and strict mother... In one family they are sensitive to the needs and manifestations of the child, but in another they simply do not know how to do this. Thus, we can talk not about the objectivity of the mechanisms of socialization of the child in the family, but about the subjective content of the experience acquired in the process of home education, its conditioning by the entire atmosphere of the parental home.

In the family, the most common measures of influence on children are punishment and reward - the carrot and stick method, which arose in ancient times.

In pedagogy, there has long been a debate about whether punishment is necessary when raising children. V.A. Sukhomlinsky came up with the idea that children should be raised only with kindness and affection, expediently organizing their life in the family, kindergarten, and school.
A.S. Makarenko adhered to the point of view that you can do without punishment if, from the first years of life, you accustom the child to a regime, to fulfill requirements, and do this patiently, without irritation. Impunity is harmful: where punishment is necessary, it is as natural a method as any other method of education.

Punishment- influence on the child, which expresses condemnation of his actions, forms of behavior that contradict accepted norms. The meaning of punishment is wisely expressed in the Russian proverb: “Punish children with shame, not with a whip.” Punish- means helping the child realize his action, causing a feeling of guilt and repentance. Under the influence of punishment, the child should strengthen his desire to act in accordance with the established rules. So, punishment is not so much an action on the part of an adult, but rather what happens in the child being punished, what he experiences. From a psychological point of view, punishment is an unpleasant, oppressive feeling of shame and humiliation that is well known to every person, which one wants to get rid of as quickly as possible and never have to worry about again. Therefore, you should not remind your child about past punishments or reproach them.

If a child does not feel guilty, does not realize that he has somehow violated good relationships with loved ones, punishment will be perceived by him as an act of violence and will only cause resentment, annoyance, and anger against the one who commits it. Hence, misuse punishment leads to the fact that this method loses its pedagogical meaning. However, not every child’s misbehavior requires punishment. Something to keep in mind age characteristics young children who may be the cause of misconduct. Sometimes it is enough to limit yourself to a remark or remark. Often a child punishes himself by his own actions, therefore he needs sympathy and consolation from adults more than punitive measures. For example, he carelessly poked his finger at a beautiful balloon- and it burst; climbed into a puddle behind a boat - fell, got wet... If a child expects punishment for every mistake, then fear paralyzes his desire to shape his own behavior.

In the practice of family education, the incorrect use of punishment is manifested in the fact that parents often punish a child in a state of irritation, fatigue, or, on suspicion, summing up several offenses. The child does not understand the justice of such punishments. They give rise to a new conflict in relations with parents. Punishment with labor (“if you broke a toy, go clean your room”) or punishment that causes fear (“sit alone on a dark terrace”) are unacceptable. Harsh language, insults, and nicknames traumatize the child’s psyche, weaken the will, and arouse unkind feelings toward adults.

Many modern children suffer from corporal punishment in their families. Why on the threshold of the 21st century? did they talk about physical punishment in the family at the international level, which was reflected in the “Convention on the Rights of the Child” (1989)? The fact is that many parents lack basic knowledge about developmental features small child, endurance and patience in his upbringing. Others are captivated by the illusion that with the help of physical punishment they can quickly achieve the child’s obedience, while forgetting about the constant increase in the “dose” of influence. Still others are simply morally degraded. Note that any Physical punishment(even “innocent” spankings) cancel out everything educational work with baby. Children who are abused at home do not believe in kind word adults are skeptical about such moral standards as “don’t hurt the little ones, help the weak.” After the rod and belt, children are not sensitive to other measures of influence.

Punishments are possible in the form of deprivation of entertainment, removal from some activity (“If you quarrel and argue with children, sit down and think about who is wrong: you or your comrades”).
In some cases, the method of natural consequences is appropriate: if you splash the mirror, wipe it off, if you make a mess, clean it up. Older children are sensitive to the loss of trust. (“I can’t let you into the yard alone; last time you ran out into the street for the ball”). Children have a hard time experiencing changes in their attitude towards themselves. Therefore, as punishment, adults can show restraint, some formality, and coldness towards the child.

Encouragement as an educational tool is more effective than punishment. The stimulating role of encouragement- orientation towards the good, the good in a developing personality, consolidating the child’s aspirations and advancement in this direction. The experience of joy, satisfaction from the approval of his efforts, efforts, achievements causes cheerfulness in the child and contributes to a favorable state of health. In the range of these feelings and experiences experienced by a child from encouragement, a significant place is occupied by the awareness of the joy that he brought to loved ones with his actions, deeds, and words. If praise and a gift become an end in itself for a child’s behavior and relationships (“What will you give me for this?”), then this indicates that not all is well in upbringing.

Encouragement loses its pedagogical value when a child develops the habit of expecting praise, material reinforcement for success in any matter, even those the implementation of which does not cause special effort, is quite accessible to him in terms of his strengths and capabilities. Encouragement should not be abused: what a child does out of obligation, what is easy and accessible to him, does not need praise. IN home education should become the rule: encouragement must be earned by mobilizing one’s efforts and demonstrating independence. When putting your child to bed in the evening, you can remember his good deeds, merits, note achievements.

The main means of encouragement- this is the word of an adult addressed to a child, praise. The pedagogical value of the “material” expression of encouragement, so common in the family: I had lunch - I’ll buy ice cream, etc. - is very doubtful, it looks more like blackmail than a means of developing a child’s personality. Parents want to make the child comfortable (he ate quickly, got dressed on his own), so they cultivate a communication style based on personal gain, on the principle: “You - for me, I - for you.” Such communication also forms pragmatic behavior in children: compliance with norms and rules under conditions of external control.

Where to find golden mean in raising a child? In forgiveness. Many scientists believe that adults must master the art of forgiveness. Forgiveness means reconciliation, which raises a wave of good feelings towards parents in the child’s heart. Forgiveness Small child perceives as good the trust of loved ones. Strict, unforgiving parents constantly deepen the gap between themselves and the child, pushing him to other advisers, friends who may not lead to the best results. But a constant readiness to forgive a child is fraught with loss of authority and the ability to influence the child.

Methods and techniques of family education

Methods of raising children in the family are the ways through which the purposeful pedagogical influence of parents on the consciousness and behavior of children is carried out.

They have their own specifics:

The influence on the child is individual, based on specific actions and adaptations to the individual;

The choice of methods depends on the pedagogical culture of the parents: understanding of the goals of education, parental role, ideas about values, style of relationships in the family, etc.

Therefore, methods of family education bear a vivid imprint of the personality of the parents and are inseparable from them. How many parents - so many varieties of methods.

The choice and application of parenting methods are based on a number of general conditions.

· Parents' knowledge of their children, their positive and negative qualities: what they read, what they are interested in, what assignments they carry out, what difficulties they experience, etc.;

· If parents prefer joint activities, then practical methods usually prevail.

· Pedagogical culture parents have a decisive influence on the choice of methods, means, and forms of education. It has long been noted that in families of teachers and educated people, children are always better brought up.

Acceptable methods of education are as follows:

Belief. This is a complex and difficult method. It must be used carefully, thoughtfully, and remember that every word, even one accidentally dropped, is convincing. Parents, wise from the experience of family education, are distinguished precisely by the fact that they know how to make demands on their children without shouting and without panic. They have the secret of a comprehensive analysis of the circumstances, causes and consequences of children’s actions, and predict the children’s possible responses to their actions. One phrase, said at the right time, at the right moment, can be more effective than a moral lesson. Persuasion is a method in which the teacher appeals to the consciousness and feelings of children. Conversations with them and explanations are far from the only means of persuasion. I am convinced by the book, the movie, and the radio; Painting and music convince in their own way, which, like all types of art, acting on the senses, teach us to live “according to the laws of beauty.” A good example plays a big role in persuasion. And here the behavior of the parents themselves is of great importance. Children, especially preschool and younger school age, tend to imitate both good and bad deeds. The way parents behave, the way children learn to behave. Finally, children are convinced by their own experience.

Requirement. There is no education without demands. Already, parents make very specific and categorical demands on a preschooler. He has job responsibilities, and he is required to fulfill them, while doing the following:

Gradually increase the complexity of your child's responsibilities;

Exercise control without ever relinquishing it;

When a child needs help, provide it; this is a reliable guarantee that he will not develop the experience of disobedience.

The main form of presenting demands on children is an order. It should be given in a categorical, but at the same time, calm, balanced tone. Parents should not be nervous, scream, or angry. If the father or mother is excited about something, then it is better to refrain from making a demand for now.

The demand presented must be feasible for the child. If a father sets an impossible task for his son, then it is clear that it will not be completed. If this happens more than once or twice, then very favorable soil is formed for cultivating the experience of disobedience. And one more thing: if the father gave an order or forbade something, then the mother should neither cancel nor allow what he forbade. And, of course, vice versa.

Promotion(approval, praise, trust, joint games and walks, financial incentives). Approval is widely used in the practice of family education. An approving remark is not praise, but simply confirmation that it was done well and correctly. The person who has correct behavior still in its infancy, it really needs approval, because it confirms the correctness of its actions and behavior. Approval is more often applied to young children, who still have little understanding of what is good and what is bad, and therefore are especially in need of assessment. There is no need to skimp on approving remarks and gestures. But here too, try not to overdo it. We often observe direct protest against approving remarks.

Praise- this is the teacher’s expression of satisfaction with certain actions and deeds of the student. Like approval, it should not be wordy, but sometimes one word “Well done!” still not enough. Parents should be careful not to let praise play a negative role, because excessive praise is also very harmful. Trusting children means showing respect to them. Trust, of course, needs to be balanced with the capabilities of age and individuality, but you should always try to make sure that children do not feel mistrust. If parents tell a child “You are incorrigible”, “You cannot be trusted with anything,” then this weakens his will and slows down the development of self-esteem. It is impossible to teach good things without trust.

When choosing incentive measures, you need to take into account age, individual characteristics, degree of education, as well as the nature of actions and deeds that are the basis for encouragement.

Punishment. The pedagogical requirements for the application of punishments are as follows:

Respect for children;

Subsequence. The power and effectiveness of punishments are greatly reduced if they are used frequently, so one should not be wasteful in punishments;

Taking into account age and individual characteristics, level of education. For the same act, for example, for rudeness towards elders, one cannot equally punish a junior schoolchild and a young man, the one who committed a rude act due to misunderstanding and who did it intentionally;

Justice. You cannot punish “rashly.” Before imposing a penalty, it is necessary to find out the reasons and motives for the action. Unfair punishments embitter, disorientate children, and sharply worsen their attitude towards their parents;

Correspondence between negative action and punishment;

Hardness. If a punishment is declared, it should not be canceled unless it is shown to be unfair;

Collective nature of punishment. This means that all family members take part in raising each child.

Incorrect methods of family education include:

Cinderella-type parenting, when parents are overly picky, hostile or unkind to their child, placing increased demands on him, not giving him the necessary affection and warmth. Many of these children and teenagers, downtrodden, timid, always living under the fear of punishment and insults, grow up indecisive, fearful, and unable to stand up for themselves. Acutely experiencing the unfair attitude of their parents, they often fantasize a lot, dreaming of a fairy-tale prince and an extraordinary event that will save them from all the difficulties of life. Instead of being active in life, they retreat into a fantasy world;

Education according to the type of family idol. All the requirements and the slightest whims of the child are fulfilled, the life of the family revolves only around his desires and whims. Children grow up willful, stubborn, do not recognize prohibitions, and do not understand the limitations of their parents’ material and other capabilities. Selfishness, irresponsibility, inability to delay receiving pleasure, a consumerist attitude towards others - these are the consequences of such an ugly upbringing.

Overprotective parenting. The child is deprived of independence, his initiative is suppressed, and his capabilities do not develop. Over the years, many of these children become indecisive, weak-willed, unadapted to life, they get used to having everything done for them.

Education according to the type of hypoprotection. The child is left to his own devices, no one develops his skills social life, does not teach understanding “what is good and what is bad.”

Harsh upbringing is characterized by the fact that the child is punished for any offense. Because of this, he grows up in constant fear that as a result he will result in the same unjustified rigidity and bitterness;

Increased moral responsibility - with early age The child begins to be given the idea that he must certainly meet the expectations of his parents. At the same time, he may be assigned overwhelming responsibilities. Such children grow up with unreasonable fear for their well-being and the well-being of those close to them.

Physical punishment- the most unacceptable method of family education. This kind of punishment causes mental and physical trauma, which ultimately changes behavior. This can manifest itself in difficult adaptation to people, loss of interest in learning, and the appearance of cruelty.