From the very moment of his birth until the development of speech, crying is the only acoustic way in which a child can convey his requests or indignations to adults. For infant crying actually replaces conversation - through it he communicates that something is bothering him. Crying is not needed to build character or train the lungs. On the contrary, it strains the child’s nervous system and makes the baby doubt the friendliness and safety of the world around him. And crying for too long can even cause direct harm to the baby - cause an umbilical hernia.
Infants cry regularly, however, the more parents communicate with them, the less intensity, frequency and duration of crying become. According to statistics, the most “weepy” time of day is the period from 16 to 20 hours.
What to do if the baby cries a lot?
You should react to the baby’s cry immediately: take him in your arms, put him on your chest and start rocking him, and in general, use any affordable way calm him down. The baby calms down most quickly in its mother's arms. Then eliminate all possible inconveniences for him. At the same time, the mother herself must demonstrate calmness to the baby, then her confidence will be passed on to him. Gradually, mother will learn to distinguish different types crying.
By the way, the child and the father can and should also be trusted more often. Often boys calm down much faster in their dad's arms than in their mother's. Perhaps men react more calmly to children's crying and therefore pass on their equanimity to the little ones.
You should not be afraid of your child getting used to his hands. Crying always reflects a real problem. Crying child is experiencing stress, and parents must make him feel better in any way possible. After a month, the baby has already formed a feeding, sleep and wakefulness pattern, so the cause of crying can already be associated with the time when it occurs.
How to calm babies under 3 months?
Harvey Karp Method
What are the causes of crying in very tiny children? Frustration or fear? Parents who are tired of long periods of motion sickness and chronic lack of sleep can try the method of the American Harvey Karp.
At first the baby old tradition you need to swaddle tightly, pressing your hands to the body so that the fabric slightly squeezes the baby’s body. The baby will perceive this position as being in the mother’s womb, cramped, but warm and calm. You also need to dim the lights in the room for a more comfortable environment and place the baby next to you. If even the diaper does not help, then you need to turn the baby on its side, put your forearm under the head and place your palm on the tummy. The baby will lean forward slightly. In this position he will calm down faster, since he was located almost the same way in the womb. The mother's palm, lightly pressing on the baby's intestines, relieves it of discomfort and colic.
If the baby continues to whine, then you can rock him to sleep. You need to press him with his back to your body, and support his head with your palm. Then the baby will lie sideways on your arm, and you can support him from below with your second hand to keep him in this position. Walking slowly around the room or standing still, the child needs to be rocked as if he were in a cradle. The movements should be smooth, with a small amplitude, so that they remind the baby of vibrations in the mother’s womb when she turns in bed or walks.
While in the uterus, the fetus hears the work of the mother's intestines, and muffled noise from the outside reaches it in the form of an unclear hissing. Therefore, even restless and capricious babies calm down when they hear the hiss of their mother rocking them to sleep. First, she loudly says “Sh-sh-sh” to attract the baby’s attention, and then lowers the volume as the baby calms down.
Sometimes babies are silent, but are not going to sleep. Then, in order to avoid repeated hysterics, you need to take advantage of the strong sucking reflex that 3-6 month old babies have and offer the child a pacifier or breast. The baby falls silent for a while, giving the mother the opportunity to take a break from his screaming. This technique is effective for children no older than 3-4 months. Swaddling with rocking is often sufficient. Well, if the baby continues to be hysterical, then you can use all the listed techniques at once.
Time management would be very helpful for young mothers, which actually means a daily routine - the ability to properly distribute your time. With the help of simple...
Cause-and-effect actions
Since young parents are still not good at guessing the baby’s needs, they may miss some details of his “signals.” A baby can be driven into hysterics by folds in a sheet, a too-hard mattress, a slipping blanket, or unnoticed irritation on the skin.
The screaming baby needs to be taken out of the crib and unswaddled, the diaper checked and let him lie naked for 10-15 minutes. In the meantime, carefully examine the baby’s skin in the area of the buttocks and legs, back and armpits. Detected areas with redness should be treated, first with boiled water or chamomile decoction, and then lubricated with fortified baby cream or powdered with powder. Skin irritation causes burning and itching in the baby, so he cannot sleep. The use of children's cosmetics will calm the child and relieve unpleasant symptoms.
The child may also cry from hunger, pull his arms towards his mother, and scream insistently and demandingly. Babies grow quickly, and their appetite grows along with them, so it is not surprising that, after having a hearty dinner, the baby will ask for more after half an hour. You just have to bring him to your chest and feed him, and he will immediately calm down and fall asleep.
Since infants' thermoregulation is still weak, they may wake up at night from heat or cold and begin to be capricious. If the baby has a hot nose and back, and the room is hot, then you need to undress him as much as possible, and use a sheet instead of a blanket. If his tummy and nose are cold, then, on the contrary, he should be changed into something warmer or covered with a warm blanket.How to calm babies from 4 months to a year?
Like adults, children have nightmares in their dreams. And if they become hysterical at night, then perhaps the baby dreams that his parents left him alone and went somewhere. A screaming baby should be immediately picked up, rocked and tried to be calmed down. You can talk to him or sing a song. The mother’s quiet, gentle voice will distract the baby from terrible visions and gradually put her to sleep.
3-4 month old babies love to sit and sleep in the kenguryat. Here they can snuggle up mother's breast and hear her heartbeat. In such an elastic cocoon it is safe, cozy, warm and tight. A mother can put on such a device during the day, put her child in it and go for a walk. Many kids are attracted by the noise of busy streets and passing cars, which displaces hysteria, and the baby even falls asleep.
A typical picture is a child crying in the middle of the night, but there is simply no strength to rock him to sleep. What to do? Completely desperate mothers turn on the TV, where they choose a channel with moving characters and bright pictures. The baby can be distracted by what is happening on the screen, calm down and gradually fall asleep. Although such habituation of childhood to TV will not bring anything good, even if mom can get some sleep. Instead of watching TV, it’s better to distract the baby’s attention with bright wrapping paper or in a package which you can let your baby touch, squish and then hang over his crib.
Dancing can also calm your child. A mother with a baby in her arms begins to hum and spin around the room, rocking him in different sides, turn and carefully throw up. The baby really likes these “roller coasters”; he will quickly have fun and forget about the reasons for his crying. After he calms down, you can give him a bottle of formula or a pacifier to prevent him from throwing another tantrum.
During a tantrum, children open their mouths wide, swallowing air that enters the digestive system and causes colic. If the scream continues for more than 5 minutes, and the baby does not stop, then he should be turned vertically, giving him the opportunity to burp.
Sometimes the baby cries for no apparent reason, for example, due to lack of parental attention. The mother may be exhausted by that time and only dreams of sleeping for at least half an hour, but the baby requires care and affection continuously. You can lie down with crying baby and start talking to him about anything. The meaning of the text is still unclear to the baby, but the familiar timbre and intonation are important, which are the best to soothe.All parents have moments when they lash out at their children, throwing out their powerlessness and fatigue accumulated over a long time. But not everything can...
How to calm children from 2 to 4 years old?
When babies go through colic and finish cutting teeth, it’s too early for parents to relax. Two-year-olds have their own reasons for tantrums:
- Mom didn’t give me any sweets;
- are hungry or don't want to eat;
- the baby is tired, but cannot sleep;
- didn't like the clothes;
- does not want to go for a walk or return from a walk.
A child in a bad mood will always have a reason to throw a tantrum. Although the mother in such cases is already tense to the limit and is ready for quick reprisals, it is better for her to remain calm:
- Let's cry later. You need to kneel down, look into the baby’s eyes and ask him to calm down - because soon the sun will set and it will become dark and scary. Children do not ride on swings at night, but sleep. You can cry tomorrow if you want. A child is often convinced by this logic, he agrees to “wait” until tomorrow, calms down and gradually falls asleep.
- Sleeping dad. If the baby does not want to calm down for a long time and cries, then you can hug him and say that, of course, he has the right to cry, but it is better to do it more quietly, because a tired or sick dad is sleeping next to him and should not be woken up. The baby does not want to upset his beloved dad and moderates his screaming, and then completely subsides.
- Fast response. Having not received what he wanted or being offended by something, the little one is ready to burst into tears. You can nip the emerging hysteria in the bud by offering to turn on your favorite cartoons, see what the pussy is doing, find out who is rustling in the closet, count the leaves on the bushes. The offer must be made decisively so that the baby does not have time to cry. Children's attention easily switches to more interesting topics, and the drama never has time to unfold.
- Bad item. If the baby hits something, then the “culprit” needs to be “punished” - let the baby spank him himself, and then rush to his mother so that she kisses the bruised area.
Reasons for concern
- If your baby cries while feeding, then perhaps his ears, nose, mucous membranes of the mouth or throat hurt.
- If your baby cries while urinating, then you need to show him to a doctor and check his ureter and kidneys.
- If your baby cries when she poops, then again you need to show him to the pediatrician, who will refer him for an examination of the rectum. Otherwise, he may begin to fear the process of bowel movement - psychological constipation will arise.
- After sleeping during the day, the child wants to communicate with his parents at night and starts screaming. He is frightened by strangers and unfamiliar surroundings.
3 0 Due to their age, small children under three years old have a fragile nervous system and often do not know how to express their emotions in any other way except to cry and/or throw a tantrum. How to calm the kids in this case?
How to calm a small child if he is crying?
If small child up to three years old cries, this may be large number various reasons. It is important to behave correctly to calm him down. Remember the main thing: no matter how much your baby cries, do not be nervous under any circumstances, and certainly do not yell at him for it!
If a child hits himself and cries, hug him and take pity on him. When the baby calms down a little, talk to him about what happened, explain to him why it happened. To somehow distract your baby from the pain, tell him a story or sing a song. Let the baby know that you will support and reassure him in any situation.
If one of the parents is sleeping in the next room, youngest child or grandmother, and the baby bursts into tears, hug him and tell him that he can cry, but a little more quietly, so as not to wake up the sleeping family member. As a rule, even one-year-old children understand an adult the first time.
If you calm down with persuasion small child If it doesn’t work, turn his attention to something interesting. For example, invite him to count flowers in pots, watch his favorite cartoons, or draw in an album.
How to calm a small child when he is hysterical?
When a child wants to get something from you through a tantrum, it is important to calmly respond to his behavior. Remember: do not ignore, but react! However, under no circumstances should you make fun of his tears.
But you also need to react correctly. First, turn your head in his direction and silently wait for the baby’s next actions. If the hysteria does not stop, position yourself next to the child so that he can see you, but at the same time understand that you are not succumbing to his provocation. At this moment, look into the baby’s face and try to understand what emotions he is experiencing now - anger, resentment, aggression or something else?
Ask your child a question: “What happened, why are you behaving this way?” In order for a small child to calm down, he needs to speak out. And you just listen. And only when the baby finishes speaking, can you answer whether you will fulfill his demands (if you planned to do this initially, and not under the pressure of hysteria) or not (then say that you understand him, but still don’t do it are going).
A sleeping baby is a magical sight, akin to a miracle. And this picture seems especially implausible to those exhausted parents whose babies cry for no apparent reason, arching their bodies and screaming non-stop 24 hours a day. Don't despair! And don't punish yourself - you don't bad parent! You simply don’t know the ways that can rock even the most capricious child without depriving his mom and dad of clarity of mind, self-control and a sense of parental happiness. We will teach you how to properly calm your child.
From the very first words, it is worth noting that all the tips below on how to calm a crying child (namely, a baby aged 0 to six months) refer to those cases when the baby cries and screams “for no apparent reason” - that is, his tummy does not hurt (not bloated, not tight, can be easily felt), he is not hungry, not cold and does not need to change his diaper. Rather, these tips are for those tired and exhausted parents, in whose eyes the question is read: “How to calm a child who just likes to cry and yell?!”
How to calm a 0-3 month old baby? Put yourself in his position!
One of the world's most competent experts in the field of children's crying is American doctor, professor of child psychiatry, pediatrician Harvey Karp. He has been teaching young parents for over 20 years effective ways how to quickly calm a crying baby infancy. Dr. Harp's book, dedicated to these methods, has long been an undisputed bestseller in its segment. On the one hand, these methods are extremely simple, judge for yourself:
- swaddling;
- holding in a side position;
- “white noise” or hissing;
- rhythmic rocking;
- sucking.
But refrain from being surprised and doubtful until you try all five methods in action. What is the essence of this technique? In his book, Dr. Harvey uses such an ambiguous concept in relation to newborn children aged 0 to 3 months as “ fourth trimester of pregnancy».
During this period of life, infants are in dire need of conditions that would closely replicate the mother's intrauterine environment. It is in such conditions that babies instantly calm down, instinctively gaining a sense of familiar comfort and safety.
Actually, Dr. Karp based his technique on this principle. For example, tightly swaddling a newborn simulates his being in the mother's womb for latest dates pregnancy, where the baby becomes quite cramped. The position on his side is also the most familiar for him. Hissing sounds are the most familiar to the baby, because while in the womb, he constantly hears the mother’s breathing and the passage of fluids through her intestines. An unborn baby constantly experiences monotonous motion sickness (almost shaking) when his mother moves. And if you look at the ultrasound pictures, you will see that starting from the 24th week, while in the mother’s womb, the baby reflexively sucks his thumb.
Here is the nature of the origin of all five methods of effective motion sickness according to Harvey Karp.
And if you learn, using Dr. Karp’s tips, to imitate for your baby all these states that are most comfortable for him in the first months of life, then you will not have problems with how to calm your child. So:
5 magical ways of Harvey Karp, or How to calm a child:
Method 1: Swaddling. Of course, it’s not a good idea to keep your newborn tightly wrapped in diapers all the time. But if the baby is worried and cannot fall asleep for a long time, sometimes it is enough just to wrap him tightly in a sheet or diaper (it is necessary to swaddle him with his arms) so that the baby immediately calms down.
If your baby is often restless and has difficulty falling asleep, it makes sense to buy modern diapers that even dads can easily use.
Method 2: Side position. Place the baby on your arm or on your lap on its side so that it seems to fall slightly onto its stomach. Gently support your baby's head. This position can also be used in cases where the child suffers from minor colic.
Method 3: Rhythmic rocking (shaking). Holding the baby in a position on his side, begin to gently but rhythmically rock him from side to side. This method can be immediately combined with the next one - simulating hissing sounds.
See clearly how to properly hold your baby on his side and rock him:
Method 4: “White noise”. The idea is to play monotonous hissing sounds directly above the baby's ear. This is perhaps the most unusual of all the ways to calm a child put forward by Dr. Karp, but it works perfectly.
Method 5: Sucking. A pacifier is an excellent universal soother for a baby. With the same success, you can put the baby to your breast (if you are a nursing mother) or give a bottle with a small amount mixtures.
In Harvey Karp's own experience, sometimes it is enough to use one or two techniques from this list to stop a newborn from crying and worrying. But often you have to use all five methods sequentially. However, according to the doctor, these simple ways, together or separately, help in almost 100 percent of cases.
Agree - this is literally a “gift from heaven” for those exhausted parents who, due to the constant crying of their children, are, figuratively speaking, on the verge of committing suicide...
4 ways to calm a baby over 3 months old
Dr. Harvey Karp's methods are good, but it is worth mentioning once again - almost all of them are suitable only for newborn babies. If you try to swaddle or “hiss” a six-month-old crying toddler, you are unlikely to succeed. To calm older children, you can try other methods. Moreover, in this case, the expression “how to calm a child” will not always be equal to the expression “how to rock a baby to sleep.” To calm down means, first of all, to distract from screaming and sobbing.
Method 1: Carry in a sling. Carrying in a sling, by the way, combines two points proposed by Dr. Harvey: rocking and swaddling, and if you add “white noise” to this list, for example, going outside with the baby, then it will immediately become clear why Children love slings so much. And if swaddling is only suitable for newborns, then you can carry a baby in a sling from time to time as long as you comfortably bear (literally) the weight of your baby.
Method 2: Switch your attention. Children older than 3 months already quite successfully and for a long time fix their attention on objects and sounds - they are especially attracted to bright colors and clear, loud sounds. Rustle bright paper or a bag, ring a bell, let them watch any commercial on TV. All these manipulations (especially the last one!) instantly capture the baby’s attention: he is distracted from the hysteria, begins to show interest and gradually calms down and calms down.
Method 3: Let the excess air escape. When crying, a child swallows a lot of air, which gives him very discomfort. Thus, the hysteria risks closing in a circle: the baby cries, swallowing excess air, from which his tummy begins to ache and he cries more than ever, swallowing air again and again. Therefore, as soon as the child begins to show anxiety or scream, take him in your arms and hold him in a column for a while - by burping out excess air, the baby will most likely calm down. And if not, use the previous method by trying to attract his attention with a bright toy or unusual sounds.
Method 4: Dance together. It may seem strange, but smooth dance movements can help you solve the problem of how to calm a crying baby. Take your baby in your arms, smile at him, talk to him in a soothing tone and move around a little - rocking him from side to side, up and down, humming a simple melody. When the baby stops crying, put him to your breast for a short time (if the baby is artificial feeding- give a bottle of water) or give a pacifier. Most of the time it works!
During the first days of life, it is common for a baby to be capricious and cry. In this way he expresses his concern to his parents. But often this phenomenon causes anxiety and parents do not know how to calm their newborn baby. At first glance, this is simple to do, because it is enough to find out the cause of the whims and try to eliminate it. Babies cry mainly due to hunger, intestinal colic, pain and lack of attention. Each irritating factor has its own methods of calming, which we will discuss in this article.
How to calm a newborn baby when he cries? Advice from E. Komarovsky
First, try to guess the reason for the child’s whims. After a month, parents independently begin to understand what exactly the baby wants, since the child’s character has been more or less studied. Let's take an interest in what the famous pediatrician Evgeny Komarovsky recommends for each individual case.
Attention! There are other reasons that worry the baby. Most often these are feelings of pain and discomfort; if the child cries hysterically and attempts to calm them down are not effective, contact your pediatrician.Hysteria in a baby: main reasons
Often the cause of hysterical crying in a newborn baby is banal anxiety when the mother is not around. If you believe ancient sayings, people believed that a child’s severe hysteria meant that he had been jinxed. Against such phenomena, conspiracies were used, reading prayers, and washing the baby with holy water.
Children say! By the age of three, Verochka realized that the world was divided into female and male halves, and began to pester me with the question:
- Mom, are you even a girl?When a baby is often hysterical, perhaps something serious is bothering him; unfortunately, such crying becomes the first symptom of a pathology of the gastrointestinal tract or circulatory system, which was not detected at birth. It is completely useless to calm the child in such situations by feeding, changing clothes and rocking.
Important! If you observe such symptoms, be sure to show your child to the doctor.We calm and put the child to sleep in a short time
There are many options for how you can calm a newborn and help him fall asleep quickly, but each method works individually:
- try singing a lullaby to your child, despite the fact that this is the technique of our grandmothers, nevertheless it is quite effective. Don't despair if your newborn's song doesn't suit you, you may have to choose a special melody for him;
- brisk walking or vibrating movements calm even the most restless babies;
- motion sickness is considered the most accessible method. You can rock your baby in your arms, in a cradle, or in a stroller;
- don't know how to calm a newborn? If all else fails, try giving Nurofen. This drug effectively relieves attacks of pain and lowers body temperature. Indicated for children from three months.
For parents! Experienced mothers have proven that there is effective way How to calm a newborn in 2-5 minutes. Active movements parents with motion sicknesssuccessfully help in this matter.Harvey Karp Method: 5 Basic Steps
A unique way to calm a newborn baby was invented by the American doctor Harvey Karp. This technique consists of 5 basic steps, taking into account which you will be able to quickly calm down crying baby.
– a state of peak arousal in a child, which is expressed in the loss of full control over one’s emotions and partially over actions (ways of expressing emotions). A classic example of a child's tantrum is a loud cry, crying, turning into a squeal, which may be accompanied by falls, rolling on the floor, or destructive reactions. Sometimes a desire for self-harm is revealed: children bite themselves, start hitting themselves on the head, etc.
Being in such a state, the child is closed to habitual communication with him: he is not able to adequately perceive speech addressed to him.
A child's hysteria can be either a conscious reaction-manipulation or a poorly realized phenomenon. In the first case, we are talking about the developed habit of managing the behavior of adults, and in the second, about an acute reaction to some external event. Let's figure out what it is and how to calm a child during a hysteria psychologically competently, without harming him.
It is natural that as children grow older, they develop individual interests and needs, which often diverge from the desires of adults. And if a child cannot get what he wants, then it is likely that his dissatisfaction may find an outlet in a hysterical reaction.
The hysterical reaction is an ancient way of responding to an unsafe situation, which is also found in the animal kingdom. For example, an animal caught in a net begins to rush about randomly until it becomes exhausted or is randomly unable to free itself from the trap.
So, a child’s hysteria is a way of reacting to a difficult, incomprehensible or dangerous situation for his well-being, when he has no other “tools” to overcome what is happening.
Here are the main reasons for the appearance of hysterics:
- inability to express your dissatisfaction in words;
- desire to attract attention;
- an attempt to achieve something.
Other reasons include:
- authoritarian parenting style, in which the child does not have the “right to vote”;
- permissive parenting style, when parents do not react in any way to the child’s misdeeds and achievements;
- imbalance in the “carrots and sticks” system, the obvious inadequacy of educational measures;
- general weakness of the nervous system;
- fatigue, hunger;
- post-infectious hysterical reactions as a consequence of exhaustion of the child’s body.
Often, when faced with such behavior of a child, parents want only one thing - for all this to end as quickly as possible, and many lose sight of the fact that it depends on the reaction of adults whether these attacks become more frequent or fade into oblivion.
So how to deal with such incidents? Firstly, it is necessary to clearly distinguish between ordinary children's whims and a full-fledged hysterical attack. Whims, although they can take the form of hysteria, are always used by children consciously in order to circumvent any adult prohibitions, or to get something that is missing “here and now.” There is an important digression here - during tantrums and whims, children do not harm themselves.
But full-blown hysterical attacks, as a rule, are involuntary, although they are manipulative in nature. They occur in a situation when a child loses control over the emotions that overwhelm him. The attack is accompanied by screams breaking into squeals, often scratching of the arms and face, and sometimes beating the head against something. In situations where we are talking about suspicion of pathological condition, a so-called hysterical arc may be detected, which is described in the article on hysterical personality disorder.
It is important to understand that hysteria is an extremely violent emotional reaction in which the child has almost no control over his actions and all the phenomena associated with it (aggression, irritability, attempts to break something, blows and self-harm) are involuntary.
By the way, in such a state, children are capable of greatly harming themselves, since the pain threshold usually increases. Another feature of hysterics is their rapid extinction in the absence of the expected reaction from adults.
Managing children's tantrums
How to calm a child when he is hysterical? This is a key question for most parents, but before answering it, it is necessary to trace the “history” of the development of such behavior. The first full-fledged hysterical reactions in children develop after the first year of life, and the peak period occurs at the age of 3±0.5 years. The crisis of three years is a period of development of independence (“I myself”) and opposition to parents.
During this period, some children may experience hysterical attacks several times a day, although this will be a reason to think about the child’s mental well-being. This is a period when hysterical reactions can become a powerful tool for a child to achieve goals.
As a rule, hysteria does not come suddenly - it is preceded by a period of sullenness, silent discontent and whining. In principle, during this period you can try to distract the child from his condition with something interesting (trying not to indulge) in order to prevent hysteria.
All children have their own interests - some will be soothed by a colorful book, others by their favorite toy. And a simple conversation with a child or a simple request can return him to a normal state. Various ways Distracting the child is effective when the attack has not progressed. During the attack itself, of course, such actions will not have the desired result.
How to reduce the risks of developing hysterical reactions in everyday life:
- rest and a stable (but flexible) regime;
- preventing children from overtiring (so-called early development does not always bring the desired results);
- allocating sufficient time for the child to do his own things: games, drawing, etc.;
- help the child express his feelings in an acceptable way - through speech, do not forget that it is necessary not only to listen, but also to recognize the child’s emotions: confirm his right to be offended, angry and other unpleasant experiences so that the child feels accepted;
- To three years old learn to give your child more freedom, do not try to do everything for him - for many children it is precisely this overprotective behavior that leads to hysterics;
- leave the right of choice to the child;
- in the absence of a choice, clearly inform the child what should and will be done;
- when crying, ask the child to do something simple, and do not try to feel sorry for him every time (although, of course, this is also necessary).
Hysterical reactions at 1.5-2 years
Up to 2 years of age, tantrums in children are most often the result of fatigue or tension, since the nervous system is still actively developing. Closer to 2.5 years, capricious behavior and tantrums become a way of manipulation and expression of disagreement.
By this time, children already partially understand the meaning of the words “no, I can’t, I don’t want” and begin to actively use them to express disagreement. But at the same time, the child does not yet have enough speech skills to fully express his disagreement, and realizing this, children choose the only form of behavior available to them - hysterics. But neither immediate satisfaction of the child’s demands nor harsh punishments will give a full result.
– how to calm him down? The two most common mistakes are attempts to rationally persuade the baby to calm down (do you think a two-year-old child is able to listen to the arguments of logic?), or “abandoning” him with a phrase like “that’s it, mommy is leaving.”
In the first case, you provide an incentive to continue the hysteria, and in the second, you can severely traumatize the child (scare him), which can lead him to loss of trust in the world (in the person of significant adults) and in the future become an impetus for the development of uncertainty, fears, and anxiety and isolation.
It is enough to be close to the child, to support him, but not to persuade him, and even more so, not to leave him. Often a silent presence is enough to very successfully stop a hysteria. Moreover, do not try to satisfy the child’s demands - this will show him that protest in the form of hysteria is ideal remedy to achieve what they want and blackmail parents.
Punishments are also not the optimal way to solve the problem, since they can only aggravate the child’s condition. During a hysteria, a cold presence is enough, and after it has passed, a full-fledged conversation with the child, why this happened, what he wanted, and how it could have been done differently.
The fundamental point is not to deprive your child of communication, because it is through communication that development occurs, and for a child this is a sure indicator of your love for him.
Hysterical reactions at 3 years old
Many parents notice that this is a period when the child literally forgets all words except “I don’t want” and “no.” This is the first period of rebellion and disagreement in a child’s life, when he understands that he is a separate person. Hysterics during this period are not uncommon, and the wisest decision in these conditions is to distract the child’s attention from the subject of the hysteria and communicate with it.
But again, distracting the child’s attention is a preventive measure; during an attack that has already developed, this will not help; all that remains is to wait out the storm and again discuss what happened with the child.
In such situations, it is important to maintain your own balance. For example, one of the mothers being consulted developed the following behavior strategy: during a tantrum, she simply told the child that she would be happy to talk to him about what he wants when he calms down and continued to go about her business (without leaving the child). After just a few “unsuccessful” attacks, the child independently called his mother for a conversation.
Is treatment necessary?
We have come to a very delicate point - the need for professional intervention in family situation and child behavior. As we have already said, up to a certain point, tantrums are normal occurrence, which disappears by 4-5 years. For example, the question often arises of how to calm a newborn baby during a tantrum; There is only one answer - no way. Infants and newborns are only capable of expressing the unhappiness of their condition by screaming (as a form of hysteria), be it hunger, abnormal temperature conditions, or lack of communication. All of these are normal reactions.
How to calm a hysteria in a 2-3 year old child is more or less clear, while for an older child preschool age(closer to 6 years), hysterics can acquire an openly manipulative or pathological character.
If, through hysterical behavior, a child constantly strives to achieve his goals, then there is a need to diagnose the entire system family relations. IN in this case It seems logical to contact a systemic family therapist to identify the causes and ways to eliminate the problem.
In this case, the reason will lie not so much in the child himself, but in the system of mother-child-father relationships, and it is likely that correction of relationships in the family will be required and literally the construction of a new system of interaction between parents and children.
If pathological relationships are not corrected in a timely manner, the child may subsequently experience serious problems in the school sphere.
With hysterical reactions that are not overtly demanding, especially by the age of 6, it is worth thinking about the fact that the problem lies with the child himself. In this case, it is worth showing the child to a specialist child development and child pathopsychology in order to conduct a fine diagnosis and assess the possibility of developing a hysterical disorder, or to diagnose hidden pathologies.
As a rule, by the age of 6-7 years, children master a wide range of ways to express their discontent and protest, and hysterical reactions recede into the background and gradually fade away.
Until the age of six, hysterical reactions (if they are not regular) are a more or less normal type of child’s reaction to problematic situations, but if such behavior persists at subsequent ages, we recommend that you consult relevant specialists for advice.
