“You’re a woman! Be wiser! - you’ve probably heard this phrase more than once, and perhaps at times it irritated you very much. But such is the nature of a woman - she is more sensitive, prone to emotions, more intuitive and empathetic compared to a man.

Do not dissolve in your loved one, be independent. Many people rush into the arms of their loved one, forgetting about everything in the world, and begin to live his life, but often after a while such a girl becomes uninteresting to her partner, and she feels like a hostage to the situation, because now her whole life is connected with him, and she is directly in the sense of the word, dependent on him.

To gain wisdom, avoid these mistakes, and you will avoid many unpleasant situations in relationships.

If you feel that something is wrong in your relationship, calmly talk about it with your loved one. There is no need to accuse him of anything, and of course, under no circumstances should you slide into a scandal. A sincere, calm conversation will help you both figure out what's going wrong and fix it. Set yourself the goal of solving the problem, and with common efforts, and you will definitely succeed.

The answer to the question “how to be wise in a relationship” lies in the plane of honesty and openness. Under no circumstances should you use deceit, manipulation or other prohibited techniques.

Firstly, sooner or later this will make your man feel discomfort and anxiety, and secondly, such behind-the-scenes games are detrimental to relationships. Remember that manipulation implies that your object is only a tool to achieve your goals, and not an equal person. That doesn't sound like a good partnership, does it?

Try to arrange everything so that you are on an equal footing. Defend your independence if you feel that a man is starting to overdo it (he does not necessarily do this out of malicious intent, he could simply have gotten used to this principle of relationships earlier).

At the same time, under no circumstances succumb to the temptation to make him henpecked, do not command him and do not tell him anything that does not concern the relationship between you. Remember that his life is his life. And if he wanted to connect it with your life, this does not mean at all that he is ready to give it to you.

We hope that these simple tips will add their contribution to your well of female wisdom.

How to be wise in a relationship with a man

In fact, being wise is not that difficult. There should be in a relationship both the one who is smarter, more cunning, more impulsive, tougher and the one who is softer, more decisive, more tender. These roles are usually divided equally - then true harmony occurs in the relationship.

Still, let’s dwell on why to be smarter and whether one should be wise in general. love relationships. Of course, a woman must show wisdom and reasonableness. Let's look at exactly those situations in which it is necessary to behave like a woman.

Always keep yourself in check

Composure and self-control are what will set you apart in any stressful situation. Even if your significant other is not in control, you should become a real center of calm. Don’t forget that the main thing in any quarrel is to cool down in time and stop quarreling. Don’t let each other say rude things that you will later regret and that you really didn’t mean at all.

Be aware of the shortcomings

And remember not only about your man’s shortcomings. Do you think you have no flaws? We all consist of pluses and minuses, and never, remember forever, never will the minuses outweigh the pluses. Be prepared for this.

Don't be too demanding of your man, especially if you see how much he tries to make you happy. This is exactly how you need to be wise in relationships.

Help, take charge of things

Take a closer look and you will see that the man next to you has a lot of worries. So why not help him a little? Organize an unplanned weekend getaway, invite his friends, whatever - do it pleasing to a man! After all, we always expect pleasant things from them, but we so rarely respond with pleasant things to their actions.

Spend time together

Remember, when was the last time you talked not about the weather and purchased groceries, not about who will pick up the child from school and buy a replacement cassette for the water filter - when was the last time you discussed books, films, or went out together on a Saturday evening? These are not platitudes, these are the same pleasant little things without which our lives become less fulfilling.

You've always wondered why men think they're in charge in a relationship, haven't you? After all, in fact, a woman is the center of gravity of any relationship, everything is built on a woman and depends on a woman. So why do men still truly believe in patriarchy?

The answer lies behind one single word: wisdom. It is the primordial female wisdom that allows a man to dominate and a woman to feel important and necessary.

Being wise in a relationship is not difficult, the main thing is to never raise your voice to your man. A wise wife is a stronghold of dignity and tranquility. Don't think that you look dignified and calm when you tear up the room with decibels.

There are a great many other ways to influence your soulmate. Shouting can only make you angry or cause irritation. If you want the relationship to end as quickly as possible, scream. Shout more, louder, and preferably for no particular reason.

Being a wise wife is not so difficult, but it cannot be learned in a week. Be calm, attentive and sensitive. And wisdom, like experience, comes with age.

Make concessions, take the first step

Yes, sometimes it is difficult, unreasonable and hurts your pride. Yes, he is to blame, not you, but the wisdom of this relationship is you, and not your boyfriend. So be a wise wife: give in, speak up, apologize.

The well-known expression that it is not the one who is wrong who apologizes, but the one who values ​​​​the relationship - this is the truth. And, of course, sooner or later your partner wonders why you apologize more often than he does.

And he will hasten to correct this wrong. And if you don’t want misunderstandings, avoid your man apologizing for anything. When a man does not realize what he is apologizing for, he sincerely believes that there is no need to ask for forgiveness, and he is not to blame for anything. Consequently, the girl is only making things up and ascribing non-existent guilt to him.

Don't criticize his parents

Do you want to be a wise wife? Then never. Never. Do not criticize his parents under any circumstances. And not only because this is a long-established and almost canonical stereotype of family ties. Approach the issue from a different angle. Would you like criticism of your parents? Not likely, right?

This means that your man's parents deserve the same respect and honor as your own. After all, they were the ones who raised and raised the man you love and consider your soulmate. And if you want to criticize these people, it means that along with them you criticize your own choice.

Why should a woman be wise?

Because the mind of a relationship is your man. The wisdom of relationships is you. The mind makes decisions. Makes choices, changes lives. Wisdom controls the mind (don't overdo it!), guides it, and supports its decisions with its own life experience.

Every woman accumulates her own wisdom with age. Experienced, heard, seen, read. For any of us, this is an absolutely unique set of life competencies.

10 rules for a wise and cunning wife

To be a wise wife, listen. Lack of listening is a generational problem. Somewhere deep, at the subconscious level, we believe that we were not heard, that we are not needed and that no one is interested in us. And we try to speak louder than the other person. It is not right. To say it more quietly, but so that you are accepted, is the greatest art;

Respect. A man is your protector, your wall, your provider. Even if this sounds a little crazy in today's digital age. If you want to be a wise and cunning wife, respect your man, make sure he feels like he’s in charge;

Leave space. A wise woman does not tie him to herself - she lets go of the reins and knows how to make sure that her man always returns only to her. Don’t worry about your betrothed, treat him realistically;

Smile. What else, if not a good mood and a constant calm smile, will help you instill confidence in yourself and others? A woman who poses herself calmly and poisedly, like a real wise wife, evokes only admiration. Let your man admire you;

In order to be a wise wife, justify your words with actions. Always try to validate yourself. Well what confident woman will he whine in the corners and cry into his vests? No, this is not about you and me. We are strong, wise, loved and loving ladies.

Try to praise your partner for any reason. This way, you raise his self-esteem, and your man feels respected and supported by you. When time passes, your husband will get used to the fact that everything works out great for him, and at this moment you can freely manipulate him.

A wise and cunning wife, in order to force her man to do something, will simply praise him. For example, you can say that you need help, including gifts, and when your man gives you gifts and surprises, respond to these gifts with joy and surprise. Your emotions will stimulate a man to please you all the time;

In the question of how to be cunning and wise in a relationship, there is a second piece of advice - this is to become an economical wife, and not just a wise and cunning wife. There are husbands who do not trust their wives with the money they earn. And all because they think about all women: “they are spendthrifts and spend everything only on themselves.” So, convince your husband of the opposite, and he will begin to trust you and give you money. Because he will think that they will be used for the benefit of the family;

Don't criticize your man and support him more with understanding. Listen to him, support him in any situation, help him morally. Less criticism means more trust in you. This means your man will trust you more and tell you more information;

Men, feeling that they are supported, begin to consult with the person from whom he receives support and respect. If you want to advise something, it is better to do it without intruding;

Don’t even think about humiliating your man in front of guests in the house. If you want to be a wise and cunning wife, always try to show your acquaintances and friends that your man is the master of your home. This way pride will come to him, and you will be able to influence him without quarrels, scandals or conflicts.

And finally, the last and most important. With all these tips, don’t forget about the most important thing: love your man. Just love, and it will come back to you a hundredfold.

There is an opinion that wisdom comes with age and life experience, which is not entirely true.

This is a special perception of reality and attitude that is acquired with a change in worldview and the development of personal qualities.

Every representative of the fair sex thinks about how to become a wise woman. Since this quality leads to successful relationships, happy family.

Wise qualities

Mind and wisdom should not be confused, since they are completely different concepts. An educated woman may not be distinguished by her life knowledge. While a truly wise woman, who shows understanding in communication, may not have a higher education diploma.

What distinguishes a wise woman?

• Constancy. Stability is the key strong relationships and peace of mind. And in order not to flutter like a moth from one man to another, wise woman will choose exactly “his own”. The lot of stupid ladies is to jump out of marriage as quickly as possible in order to remake a man for themselves. Male nature is akin to hard granite, which is unyielding, and female nature is malleable, like plasticine, in order to be able to adapt to the only chosen one.

• Understanding. Best friend A man should have a wife with whom he can have a heart-to-heart talk and talk about his own experiences. Close relationships develop when a couple discusses ideas, desires, and shares important thoughts.

• Patience. A wise woman will not allow herself to start shouting, resorting to the “carrot and stick” method. She knows how to gently hint to a man about wrong behavior, and rewards him after doing the right thing. A calm and pleasant atmosphere in the house is conducive to gifts and the desire to return home after work. To a cozy nest where he waits loving woman and a hearty dinner.

• Respect. Before becoming a wise woman for your husband, you first need to understand the course of a man's actions, respecting his decision and giving his own space for personal interests. It could be fishing, modeling or football, but for a man his hobbies are just as important as his family.

• Lack of criticism. Comments and statements will achieve nothing except another quarrel. Even if your spouse has committed a crime or made a mistake, it is much wiser to pause and sincerely express your feelings. This way the man will better hear your wishes.

• The ability to forgive. There are no ideal people, and a wise woman is no exception, so she is condescending towards her husband’s mistakes, gently hinting at her emotions, without “sticking” to them for a long time.

A pleasant and balanced woman is considered a gift from heaven, and anyone can become one if they begin the hard work of controlling their own emotions and manifestations of character. This in no way means that you have to suppress your feelings, but it is important that you learn to express them in ways that are safe for you and your relationship.

What behavior is wrong?

It is important to know not only useful qualities and the correct manner of behavior, but also those traits that will prevent you from becoming wiser.

1. Pride. Integrity will become a significant obstacle in a relationship, making a woman stupid in the eyes of her chosen one. You should step over own pride to through short term notice how loyalty and acquired wisdom direct life in a positive direction.
2. Nitpicking. Before looking for the speck in someone else's eye, you can try to look at the log in your own. All people are flawed, but if you rub your partner’s nose in his shortcomings, there is a risk of turning into a grumbling vixen.
3. Irritation. Negative feelings arise when women's expectations do not match reality. And if the spouse at the beginning of the relationship was endowed with non-existent qualities, it is not his fault. A wise woman accepts her husband with all his shortcomings, understanding that irritability is the main sign bad upbringing. And it will never be appropriate anywhere.

By nature, all women are the creators of their lives and happiness, since the mood of the family and the weather conditions in the house depend on them. And the main tools for everyone who wants to become wise women should be sincerity and love.

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Living together is a long-term construction of a durable building, where every day becomes another brick. And whatever the house turns out to be, that’s what you’ll have to live in. A wise woman has access to this understanding, so she invests herself in the creative process every day.

A wise woman always delights. Without pathos and boasting, she finds cunning loopholes in complex life situations, feels people at one glance, and can even give good advice. Moreover, she never imposes this advice on anyone; they ask her for it.

Is it possible to learn to become a wise woman? After all, such insight and intelligence as these ladies are endowed with seems to be not so easy to possess. There is something magical and mystical about them. But to be honest, there is no magic in their wisdom, and this can be learned. True, not in one day.

Should you listen to psychologists?

Psychologists are always considered the most intelligent healers of human souls. But theory memorized in lessons is not always good in practice. And if this “doctor” is too young and has not seen life at all, then he is like a singer who has no hearing.

To understand life, you need to “jump your butt over the potholes”:

Feel for yourself what it is like to be betrayed by people close to you, and endure it steadfastly.

Know what financial need is and try to live “out in the open” without support.

Learn to have a philosophical attitude towards all changes: both troubles and sudden happiness.

Well, why do you have to overcome some kind of need and trouble in order to gain at least a little wisdom? But imagine that fate is a doctor. Now remember the words of Zhenya Lukashin from the film “The Irony of Fate”:

Yes, I'm a surgeon. I often have to hurt people so that they can have a good life.

And if nothing happens in life, is it really that a young girl who still has her whole life ahead of her is not destined to become wise? Of course, it is possible, and God grant that all troubles and misfortunes will pass you by in life.

Rules of a wise woman

If you are really serious about growing up in life, then you, like the “Our Father,” need to know several undeniable rules.

Rule #1: Never judge anyone

Gossip is a pastime for crazy women on the bench, and an arrogant attitude towards people and their condemnation is a thrill for stupid losers. In this way they satisfy their pride.

You don't know why a shabby homeless man feeds from a garbage dump. Maybe he was kicked out by black realtors, his documents were taken away, and all the authorities he passed through kicked him off. So he survives as best he can.

You don’t know why your good neighbor suddenly began to smell of alcohol, and she often went to the store to buy alcohol. Maybe her puffy face changed not because of the drinking, but because of the tears shed from misfortune.

You don’t know why your friend suddenly closed herself off from you and doesn’t want to open up. Perhaps you have already gained a reputation as a gossip among friends and acquaintances, but your friend does not want to share her problem with you.

As for gossip, keep in mind the main thing: it is always “kept in secret to the whole world” and comes back like a boomerang. Having revealed someone else's secret, you will soon learn a lot of new things about yourself from other people: dirty tales will definitely be told about you.

For a wise woman, all people are good, even if they are not. She will either remain silent or justify even the worst person. In general, remember this wonderful truth:

When entering someone else's house, be blind, and when leaving, be dumb.

If you understand the meaning of this phrase, then you have understood the first rule for yourself and become a little wiser.

Rule #2: Don't be jealous

For wise women, this feeling completely disappears from the soul. She doesn’t care who bought what new products, what the deputy filled his belly with, or why the neighbors live richly beyond their means.

A wise woman lives for today and enjoys it. Yesterday has already passed, and tomorrow may not exist. All these donations and skerries for a rainy day are important only if it is vitally necessary for her relatives and she worries about them most of all.

And those who “languish over gold” should either be pitied or rejoiced for them. Well, this is their happiness: to languish, and then, having acquired some little thing, to show off. And then again save, waste away and show off. And so on in a circle. And you are free from this: you don’t waste away and don’t go out of your way in the thirst for admiration for you.

Rule No. 3: study people and analyze their actions

If you yourself haven’t yet “jumped over bumps,” then probably some of your close friends and even strangers have done it. But remember rule #1 - don’t judge! Just analyze: why this happened, how the person got out of a difficult situation and what conclusion he made. Other people's mistakes also teach wisdom.

What not to do:

You should not impose advice on a person when he does not need it. Such advice is empty.

There is no point in “saving” a person if this salvation irritates him. He may close himself off from you.

You shouldn’t interrupt a person when he reveals his soul to you. He just wants to “confess” to you.

And further. To develop wisdom in yourself, read good literature and watch old life films. Pulp fiction and modern Russian " soap operas“will not fit - there is no soul there, only commerce - the race of each episode for dough. And old films were literally “born in pain,” so the acting in them is at its best.

Wisdom in relationships with a man

Well, now about the most important thing - about love and relationships with a man. Other people's mistakes and their analysis are the same theory; with them you can develop empathy and flexibility of thinking, but intuition is difficult. You can read about all this in the article.

If you are still young enough and you have a boyfriend with serious intentions of marriage, then you simply need to become a cunning and wise woman. Wisdom is understandable; it will protect your family from scandals and mistakes. But why be cunning - this is a direct path to deception and “skeletons in the closet”?!

No, the trick, first of all, is a compromise. By cunning, you can get some benefit from your betrothed for yourself, and without harm to him. And you won’t have to strain your vocal cords at all. By the way, men really don’t like women’s hysterics and screaming.

For example:

You started cleaning and force your husband to join in the process while he is lying on the sofa. Let's start with the fact that it's your whim to start all this. You definitely won’t achieve anything by shouting, but with unobtrusive involvement, yes. Read about this in the article. In it you will learn about the psychotype of your couch potato and how to influence him.

You want to meet your girlfriends in a cafe, but your husband grumbles and is dissatisfied with your idea. Make a compromise: does your husband love football and doesn’t miss a single match? So throw him a party with his friends - buy beer, roach, and let them scream in front of the TV. You will definitely be the odd one out in the house at this time.

Is there a scandal brewing in the family because of the stubbornness of your loved one? Is it he who doesn't want to compromise? Don't be bullish in response. Remember yours women's weapons and behave accordingly: cry somewhere, pout, make a house on your eyebrows, admit that you’re not feeling well. But don’t overdo it and don’t get used to this method - this is a last resort.

Remember that you are the weaker sex, and not a mad and aggressive woman. Feminine cunning is “mur-mur-mur”, not “woof-woof-woof”. You can read about this topic.

But there is a trick here: no matter how strong your spouse is, he also has his own weaknesses and “ pain points" He can fall into childhood and into depression, he needs praise, pity, affection and material encouragement - never be stingy with this and do not be selfish. And remember - selfishness poisons wisdom and eats it away to ashes.

Attention is an important component in relationships

Thanks to your attention to your husband and the ability to listen to him, you will quickly develop your intuition. You will learn to accurately understand his facial expressions and gestures, and even by the intonation of his voice, on the phone, you will be able to intuitively feel whether he is lying to you or not.

You will need intuition not only for revelations. If a man has a hard time in his soul, and he doesn’t want to tell you about it, you will still feel it. This means that the two of you can prevent some kind of disaster. This means that your husband will be proud that he has such a wise and sensible wife who knows how to support her husband in any life situations.

As you know, the beauty of a woman lies in her wisdom. A wise wife knows how to follow her nature and give her husband affection, love and warmth. Next to her, your soul is calm and joyful, so every man dreams of seeing just such a woman as his life partner.

15 notes for those who want to become a wise wife

“A wise wife arranges her home, but a foolish one — will destroy"

1. First of all, a wise woman pays due attention to his religious education and compliance with Sharia, for she is aware of the purpose of life and does not allow circumstances, emotions or worldly desires to be superior to the desire for eternal happiness in akhirat. And it is precisely this desire that gives her wisdom in her actions - after all, if a person is afraid of punishment and strives for the reward promised by the God-fearing, then he tries to behave properly and refrain from low or rash actions.

1. The qualities of a wise wife include patience, restraint, fidelity, obedience to her husband, the ability to understand and respect her husband and children, and a kind attitude towards parents. She knows her responsibilities to her loved ones and carefully ensures that she does everything exactly as Sharia requires.

1. Wise woman does not expect from her husband beyond what he is obligated to do. On the contrary, she herself strives to do more than she is obliged to do, because she understands that such behavior is for her own good - thereby she earns more rewards for eternal life. She understands the purpose of family relationships and sees her marriage as an opportunity to gain even more rewards - pleasing her husband, raising children, and she does this solely for the sake of Allah, and not so that her loved ones will appreciate her efforts and give her love and recognition in return.

1. Wise woman sees her husband and children as independent individuals and recognizes their right to make their own decisions, treating them with respect and understanding. She trusts her loved ones and does not try to keep everything under control. control.

1. Wise woman does not seek to dissolve in her husband and doesn't expect him to do the same. She is considering family relationships as cooperation based on Sharia law, and treats this agreement with full responsibility.

1. Wise woman tries to maintain good relationships with your life partner. This must be done from the very first days of marriage. We must always remember that there is a very fine line in the relationship between a man and a woman. As they say, “from love to hate...” Therefore, from the very beginning it is important to be careful with your spouse’s feelings and act wisely. After all, some people, having gotten married, begin to behave unceremoniously and do not notice how they hurt each other’s feelings, and then they wonder where quarrels and disagreements arise from. And the reason is that they were carried away by their feelings and did not pay due attention to seemingly small issues, but these little things have the unpleasant ability to accumulate, causing irritation, misunderstanding, and leading to the destruction of good relationships.
   Living together is like building a building. Every day, word by word, event by event, like brick by brick, you are building this house. Whatever you make it, this is the house you will live in. A wise woman knows all this, so every day she puts herself into this “construction” with love and great dedication.

1. Wise behavior- this is art. Just as a master knows how to handle tools, so a wise woman knows how to handle words and choose the right actions: somewhere she will remain silent, somewhere she will encourage, support, somewhere she will carefully warn, give advice, somewhere she will be patient, somewhere she will tell the right words, and somewhere she will pretend that she didn’t notice anything... This is art!
   Patience helps a wise woman control her emotions, restrain herself from rash actions and be able to choose the right moments.
   A striking example of a wise woman is Umm Sulayim. Her husband was a companion of the Prophet Mu X ammada Abu T ol X A. They had a son, and it so happened that he died while his husband was not at home. The death of a son is a great grief for the mother, but she found the strength to withstand this test. When her husband returned home, she did not immediately rush to tell him this sad news, but acted wisely - she fed him, calmed him down, prepared him, and only after that, choosing the right words, told him about her son’s death. She said, "Oh, Abu T ol X A! If a person borrowed something, and it belonged to him exactly as long as it was destined, and after that the owner took it back, then is there any need to worry and worry? Why Abu? T ol X and answered: “No.” Then Umm Sulaym said: “Your son has left this world.” Just think how much patience you need to have to do this! And the Prophet Mu himself X Ammad, having learned this story, praised Umm Sulaym for her wise behavior and read a du'a to her and her husband, so that Allah would give them blessed offspring. And this request was fulfilled.
   In order to maintain composure in any situation, be restrained and patient, and at the same time remain gentle and sensitive, you need inner strength. This strength is achieved by acquiring religious knowledge, observance, sincerity, trust in the Creator, self-control and unpretentiousness. All this contributes spiritual development human - this strengthens the inner core, allowing you to pass any life tests with dignity.

1. A wise wife is flexible. She understands that life does not stand still and family relationships are also constantly developing and changing. This is fine. It is important to respond to changes in a timely manner.

1. Concept « perfect wife» Each man has his own, so a wise woman does not strive to conform in this matter public opinion or articles from glossy magazines, but tries to understand what her husband likes and to be “ideal” just for him.

1. A wise wife loves and trusts her husband, recognizing his masculinity and leadership in the family. Nowadays, this topic is especially relevant. The trouble of many modern girls the fact that they have forgotten how to obey and obey their husband. One can speculate for a long time about where this trend came from, but we see the result: now many girls are trying on the image of a daring and independent woman, thinking that this attracts men, and modest and obedient women are called “lambs” with disdain. But in fact, a wise woman recognizes a man’s right to leadership, including the right to make decisions, and does not demand that everything be just the way she wants. A woman's wisdom lies in her ability to submit to a man.
   To check how obedient you are, answer the following questions: When was the last time you looked up to your husband, or lowered your eyes, or fell silent from the understanding that you did something wrong and he would be angry? Are you afraid of his wrath? Or you rush at him with the words: “How dare you treat me like that?” Does it give you pleasure to please him? When your husband leads the family, you just relax, listen and accept everything as it is, as he suggests, or are you already mentally preparing an indignant speech? Answer these questions honestly.

1. A woman is graced by softness. And, of course, a wise woman understands this and gives her husband warmth and affection. If a husband comes home tired and irritated, then a wise wife does not burden him from the doorway, but, on the contrary, relaxes him, warming him with care and love. She knows that hugs and gentle touches speak louder than words.

1. A wise woman always remains calm and self-controlled. A slight smile plays on her face, and her eyes radiate kindness.

1. A wise woman is well-mannered, she watches her manners, does not interrupt and always remains tactful and delicate.

1. A wise woman knows how to take care - she does it unobtrusively. She cares not only that her loved ones live comfortably and cozily, but also about their spiritual state. One of the manifestations of true concern is to pray for your loved ones in their absence, asking the Almighty to forgive their sins, give them even more knowledge, sincerity, observance and a high degree in Paradise.

1. A wise woman does not say that she has already reached heights and can now relax. She never stops learning new things and striving for excellence. Being a wise wife is a skill, and skill is honed as a result of hard work on yourself.

Dear Muslim women! We wish each of you wisdom, patience and the right decisions. Happiness to you and your loved ones!

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It is quite difficult to find a person who does not dream of a happy family life next to someone who will love, understand, respect, appreciate, tolerate, care, support, behave with dignity, raise children competently, treat parents well, and so on. But few people think that all these wonderful qualities are branches of a tree whose roots are fear of God.

Nowadays, people often choose a life partner based on external appearance, status and position in society, hoping that others positive traits will appear over time. They hope that in the future they will be able to instill in their life partner a love of knowledge and observance. Of course, this is not excluded, but our religion strongly recommends choosing a life partner based on fear of God.

A woman should be especially careful when choosing a husband, because it is often beyond her power to correct an adult man. But even a man should not get his hopes up: although it is easier for a husband to influence his wife, not every woman is easy to change.

When people get married, they don’t always think about the fact that they have to go through a long life journey together, raise children, go through trials and difficulties, but only think about whether it’s pleasant to spend time with this person. Therefore, it is not surprising that their hopes for a happy family life are often not justified.

How to avoid disappointment? The answer to this question has long been known - choose someone who fears God. He is the most reliable life partner. The love of such a person will make you happy, but even if there are no such strong feelings, he will still always be fair to you. You don’t expect a trick from someone like that, he’ll lend his shoulder to Hard time, will be kind and patient, will guide you to the right direction and he himself will do the right thing - as Sharia orders. A God-fearing person loves for the sake of Allah, and not for the sake of his nafs, like most people: while feelings are seething, they are ready to endure and give in, and when the feelings pass, the relationship between spouses deteriorates.

However, a truly happy married couple is one in which both spouses are God-fearing. Therefore, not only seek a godly life partner, but strive to be one. After all, the ideal married couple are those who lead each other along the path to Paradise.

The fruits of the union of God-fearing spouses are wonderful - not only a good relationship, but also pious offspring. There have been many examples in history when two God-fearing people raised children who illuminated the whole world with their knowledge.

Parents of the Great Imam Abu Hanifa

One day a traveler was walking along the road. He was very hungry. And suddenly he saw an apple floating along the river. He took out this apple and ate it, but then he thought: “What if it came from someone’s garden?” Then he decided to go upstream and see if there was a garden there. After walking a little, he saw an apple tree growing in someone else's garden.

The young man was very God-fearing. He was upset that he ate someone else's apple and decided to ask the owner for forgiveness. He went to him, told him about the apple and asked the owner of the garden: “Will you forgive me?” He answered: “No,” and the young man became even more upset. He imagined punishment in hell for eating what was unlawful, and decided not to leave until he received forgiveness. When the owner left the house, the young man asked again: “Will you forgive me?” The owner of the garden, seeing his fear of God, said: “I will forgive you only if you marry my daughter. But know that she doesn’t see, doesn’t speak, and doesn’t walk.” Hearing this, the traveler was afraid, but the fear of the answer on the Day of Judgment was stronger than the fear of the trials in this life, and he agreed.

They entered the house. The owner led him to his daughter's room. A very beautiful girl and greeted the father and the guest. It was the owner's daughter.

From surprise and surprise, the traveler was almost speechless. “But you said that your daughter doesn’t see, doesn’t speak, and doesn’t walk!” - he exclaimed. “That’s right,” the father replied, “My daughter does not see what is forbidden, does not say what is forbidden, and does not go where it is forbidden!” (that is, she was also very God-fearing). Allah granted that in this way a God-fearing father would find a God-fearing husband for his God-fearing daughter. This is how the parents of the great Imam Abu Hanifa, one of the most famous theologians in the world, met.

Parents of the pious ‘Abdullah ibn Al-Mubarak

‘Abdullah ibn Al-Mubarak is a great scientist and Sufi. He was sincere and brave. This is the story of how his parents met.

His mother's father had a garden. One day he asked the man who was guarding his garden: “Bring me a sweet pomegranate.” The watchman went for a pomegranate and gave it to the owner. When the owner tried the pomegranate, he said: “What did you bring me?!” He's sour! Bring something sweet." Then the watchman went again and brought him another pomegranate. The owner, having tasted the fruit, was again indignant: “Why did you bring me sour pomegranate again?!” You work for me whole year and you don’t know which ones are sweet?!” To which the watchman replied: “You hired me to guard the garden, and not so that I could taste its fruits. How can I know which one is sweet and which one is sour?!” The owner of the garden was greatly surprised by the honesty and decency of the watchman and invited him to marry his daughter.

Parents of the fifth caliph Umar ibn ‘Abdul-‘Aziz

‘Umar ibn ‘Abdul-‘Aziz is the fifth righteous caliph and grandson of the second righteous caliph ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab. He was a fair ruler, possessed the deepest knowledge and was very ascetic. Perhaps all his achievements were facilitated by his upbringing, since he had godly parents. Here's the story of how they met.

His grandfather, Caliph ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab, was a great companion of the Prophet and ruler of the Muslims. But despite this, he went out into the city at night to find out how they lived simple people. And one day, during his next round, he heard a conversation between two women. The milk seller told her daughter: “Dilute the milk with water,” to which she replied: “But the Caliph forbade this!” Her mother told her: “But he doesn’t see us now.” Then the daughter replied: “If Umar does not see, then the Lord of Umar sees everything!”

Returning home, ‘Umar said to his sons: “I know a house in which a God-fearing and decent girl lives - let one of you marry her.” And ‘Asym ibn ‘Umar married her. And when their son was born, they gave him the same name as his grandfather.

How to raise a child into a PERSONALITY

From birth, the child develops and is imbued with the beliefs and life attitudes that his parents and environment instill in him. In childhood, his character, habits, worldview are formed - all this forms the foundation that underlies his personality. That is why it is so important in childhood to instill in a child the correct beliefs and principles that will help him become successful and happy.

The first thing parents must take care of is to give the child true beliefs about the Creator and the world that He created, about good and evil, about the commands and prohibitions of Allah, about Heaven and hell, about reward and punishment. This is the most valuable and important knowledge, without which true happiness is impossible. In addition, parents are obliged to teach their child to perform Namaz, observe Fasting and other duties, because they do not want him to commit sins in the future. This is the foundation without which success is impossible.

In addition, it is important to develop in the child those qualities and skills that will help him in the best possible way live this life and achieve high degree piety for eternal happiness in the Next World.

PURPOSE

It is important for a child to learn to set goals and achieve them.

Nowadays, children often do not understand the meaning of life, do not find their place in this world, many of them prefer to live in “virtual reality”. And as a result - their real life goes to waste.

Explain to your child that life was not given in vain, and there is responsibility for how he lives it. And also explain that life in this world is temporary, and after it there will be eternal life: in Heaven or in hell. In Heaven there will be eternal happiness, and in Hell there will be eternal suffering. Therefore, the main goal is to live life in such a way as to get to Heaven!

How to achieve this, we were told by the Prophets - special people sent by God. The most important thing is faith in God, who created this entire world, but Himself is not like His creations. And whoever lives as God commanded will achieve success.

On the way to your main goal, it is important to learn how to set small goals that will help you achieve it. For each goal, you need to define objectives and develop a plan to achieve it. Therefore, your task as parents is to teach your child these skills. A person who possesses these skills lives meaningfully and does not go with the flow of life. It is such a person who is a person.

Prepare your child for the fact that there are always obstacles on the path to success, otherwise everyone would be successful. Difficulties await him, but don’t let that stop him - he must learn to overcome them and benefit from the experience he receives. Develop in him those qualities that will help him achieve his goal: perseverance, hard work, willpower and responsibility.

RESPONSIBILITY

One day a child said to his father: “Our new teacher He doesn’t know how to explain mathematics, I won’t learn anything with him.” The father replied: “Understand, son, if you want to know mathematics, then this is your task, not your teacher. What have you done yourself to resolve this issue?” That is, the father did not allow his son to shift responsibility to others. He wanted to show him that there are two types of people: those who take responsibility for their lives and achieve success, and those who simply look for someone to blame for their failures.

The ability to accept responsibility opens up a broad perspective for a person. Without the willingness to take responsibility, it is impossible to achieve true success! How can someone achieve success who hides from problems, avoids difficulties, is unable to make decisions and shifts everything to others?!

Often the parents themselves are to blame for the fact that their children grow up exactly like this: infantile, lazy and irresponsible. After all, they decide everything for the child, do not allow him to take the initiative, literally take the work out of the child’s hands, believing that he cannot cope on his own.

Help your child not be afraid to take responsibility for their actions. Even if he doesn't do something perfectly at first, don't stop him. Teach him to take on responsibilities and fulfill them, as well as be responsible for possible failures. Start small - let him take responsibility, for example, for the order in his room, saying to himself: “I am responsible for the cleanliness of this room” and keeps his promise.

It is natural for parents to want to help their children. But true help lies not in solving all their problems for them, but in teaching them how to solve their problems.

One person, walking through the park, noticed a cocoon on a bush from which a butterfly was trying to get out. There was a narrow gap in the cocoon, and the butterfly made every effort to crawl out through it. The man stopped and began to watch the butterfly, which could not get out. He felt sorry for the butterfly - he took out a knife and cut the cocoon to help her. The butterfly immediately crawled out, however, its body was frail and weak, and its wings could barely move. The man continued to watch the butterfly, thinking that its wings would get stronger and it would fly, but this did not happen. After all, it is precisely the efforts of the butterfly that are needed to get out of the cocoon that strengthen its wings and give it the ability to fly!

Don’t try to make your child’s life easier by solving all the issues for him. The sooner he learns to take responsibility for himself and his actions, the better for him! After all, in the end, a great Report awaits everyone! What will be the position of someone who has avoided responsibility all his life?!

If you teach your child to set goals, take responsibility, overcome obstacles, show diligence, persevere, work on himself and achieve results, he will become strong, will not be afraid of life's difficulties and will be able to achieve real success.

Clean, wash, iron, cook, wash the dishes, wipe the floor and again everything in a circle - and so on every day. A familiar picture for most women, especially married ones. And if there are still small children, then to all this daily routine New worries are added and everything is multiplied many times over.

So they pass day after day in bustle. But this is valuable time that is given to us in order to worship God in the best way and earn a reward for eternal life in the Next World. Of course, if women are busy with housework all day long, doing it for the sake of Allah, in order to please their husband and loved ones, then they will be rewarded for this. But if you wish, you can organize everything in such a way that there is time for other important things: gaining religious knowledge, performing additional rituals, as well as to take care of yourself, develop, spend time with loved ones, etc.

To effectively organize household chores, use techniques to save time, effort and money.

This is a very important point on the path to effective housekeeping. Often the constant need to clean the house is caused by a large number of things. Something was bought, something was given as a gift, something was brought from a trip, something was kept from childhood - people “overgrow” with things, without even suspecting how little they actually need for life. It is not for nothing that asceticism is welcomed in Islam.

If you want positive changes in your life, make room for them.

By reducing the number of things to a minimum, it will become much easier for you to manage your household, because things require care, take up space, take energy and peace of mind. As soon as you get rid of everything unnecessary in your life, you will see that not only your home is in order, but also your thoughts, and you will feel that it has become easier for you to breathe both literally and figuratively.

Rules for getting rid of unnecessary things:

1. If you haven't used an item for a year, then you don't need it.
2. Imagine that you are about to move into a small apartment. Decide what goes to waste, what can be given to friends or family, and what you really can't do without.
3. Buy only what you really need, without succumbing to sales, promotions, advertising, fashion and momentary desires.
4. When buying a new thing, give the old one to others.
5. When buying things, focus on versatility. Use the same principle to build your wardrobe. Let it contain a minimum of things for any occasion that are combined with each other.
6. Fix torn, broken or unfinished items immediately or get rid of them forever.
7. Do not store any trinkets, shells, old newspapers, chipped cups, etc.
8. Make a strict rule in your home: every day before going to bed, devote 10 minutes to removing everything unnecessary.
9. Divide all things into groups: “needed”, “rarely needed” and “unnecessary”. Place things from the first group within reach so that they are always at hand and do not require lengthy searches. For rarely used items, set aside a place so that they are out of the way, but you can easily find them if necessary. Give extra things to those who will really benefit from them. If they are no longer useful, then throw them away without regret. Some things can be sold, recycled, that is, you can benefit from getting rid of them.

Tip 2. Divide all big tasks into small steps

Usually women set global goals for themselves - to put the whole house in order in one day. But such general cleaning deprives one of strength and health and discourages cleaning for a long time. Therefore, it is recommended to direct perfect order gradually, step by step, and then just maintain it.

“Keeping it clean” does not mean spending all your energy on making your home look perfect every day.

It is enough that things are in their place and it is clean.

To systematize cleaning, it is recommended to divide your home into zones. For example, an entrance hall and a kitchen, a living room and a bedroom, a bathroom and a toilet. Next, a monthly schedule is drawn up for cleaning in these areas. During the week, only one zone is brought into complete order - for this purpose it is given 15 minutes a day. In fact, during this time you can get a lot done, the main thing is to complete exactly those tasks that are planned. After all, energy during cleaning is often spent on distractions. For example, instead of dusting the closet and simply putting things away, some women start trying on outfits or looking at everything, which, of course, delays cleaning. Therefore, it is recommended to set a timer for 15 minutes to remember the time and avoid distractions.

An approximate cleaning schedule in the “hallway-kitchen” area may include: wash the stove, refrigerator, remove all items from the kitchen cabinets, wipe down the cabinets, carefully put everything back, put shoes in order, put back things that should be stored in other rooms. This work is carried out for 5 days a week. It turns out that a month it takes a little more than an hour to thoroughly clean one area. Then all that remains is to maintain order through daily “routines.”

It may take you longer to clean the areas at first, but once everything is in order, 15 minutes will be enough.

Once you have put everything in order, all that remains is to maintain cleanliness. But this should not be done all day long, but only for 5-10 minutes in the morning and evening. "Routines" are simple steps which we perform every day when we wake up in the morning and in the evening before going to bed. Proper organization of “routines” will bring these procedures to automaticity.

In the evening, before going to bed, it is recommended to do a light cleaning “over the top” - walk around the apartment, put things in their places, get rid of everything unnecessary, clean up the kitchen, wash the dishes and sink, hang up clean towels. The evening “routine” also includes: making a plan for the next day (including a menu) and preparing clothes and a bag for tomorrow. Special attention in the evenings, pay attention to “hot spots” - surfaces on which things usually accumulate: a bedside table in the hallway, a computer desk, etc.

In the morning, it is recommended to make your bed immediately after waking up, even on weekends. If you have completed your evening routine, then everything is already in its place. Therefore, in the morning you can only wipe the dust from the surfaces, prepare breakfast and wash the dishes after it. When leaving home, take bags of garbage with you.

If you think through all your actions in the mornings and evenings in advance and perform them regularly, then over time it will become a habit and following them will be easy and simple.

Carry out classic house cleaning once a week. It comes down to completing several tasks of 10 minutes each (for example, vacuuming, washing the floor, wiping mirrors, changing bed linen). You can do this not at once, but assign each task to a specific day.

Islam encourages making the most of your time, and planning helps with this. Even five Namaz a day teaches us to distribute tasks throughout the day. By planning, a person gets a barrack of time, that is, he has time to do much more, and this will also help to significantly save time and effort.

First, determine what tasks you do daily, weekly, monthly and how much time you spend on them. Then analyze the list and highlight the tasks that can be eliminated, which ones can be shortened, and which ones need to be left. Evaluate not only the time costs, but also the financial ones. After that, make a plan for the day, week, month, year.

Experienced housewives recommend keeping an “audit log”. The most convenient way to do this is to use an organizer folder or a file on your computer. Write down in this journal: morning and evening routines, monthly cleaning schedules by zone, shopping and payment lists, menus, as well as important notes, contacts, your plans, etc. In your plan, include not only household chores, but also mandatory and optional worship, learning, activities with children, communication with loved ones, time for self-care, and even time for relaxation. Then all that remains is to monitor the implementation of the plan. An organizer, stickers, reminders on your phone, etc. will help you not to forget important things.

Golden rules of good housewives:

1. Every thing has its place!
2. Close what you opened.
3. If you take it, put it back.
4. Clean before what is clean becomes dirty.
5. When cleaning, do not take out more things than you can take apart within an hour.