It is generally accepted that men are more prone to infidelity in relationships than women. But many unions collapse due to infidelity on the part of their wives. The reasons for this can be very diverse - both purely physical and emotional. The motives for the spouse’s betrayal should be understood in order to understand whether there is a possibility of saving further relationships and family. In some situations, trying to save a marriage is impossible.
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Why do wives cheat?
Not all women are faithful to their men. Some of them have connections on the side, but hide them. Sometimes this indicates a desire to save the marriage or a fear of ending it completely. long term relationship with my spouse.
Married women cheat on their husbands for the following reasons:
- 1. Falling in love with another man. Many cheat in marriage and do not leave immediately because they are afraid of changes in their personal lives. If family life has been going on for several years, then women feel fear about their future. Some people don’t know how to confess to their once loved one that they have been unfaithful, so as not to offend their feelings, so they put off the confession for some time.
- 2. Sexual dissatisfaction. Very common reason cheating on the part of married women. If the marriage between the spouses was concluded a long time ago, then there is a high probability that the intimate life has begun to become boring and seem more boring than at the beginning of the relationship. Then the girl is looking for variety on the side.
- 3. The desire to feel attractive or young. This problem can occur in both mature women and very young women. If a young man somehow makes a girl feel complex, does not see sexuality in her, or stops considering her attractive, then she compensates for this with other relationships. Older women who have been married for decades may begin to feel old and less sexy, which prompts them to look for lovers, often younger ones.
It is imperative to find out the reason for the girl’s infidelity if you have doubts about divorce. A man who wants to save his family should make sure that the reason for the betrayal is based on physiological factors, and not on feelings for another person.
It is worth understanding that each girl’s relationship with a man develops individually. In some situations, the reasons may be non-standard. For example, sometimes wives look for a sexual partner to take revenge on their husbands for his betrayal with his mistress. Others try to compensate for their complexes.
To understand the reasons for your spouse’s infidelity, if the fact has already become clear, it is worth discussing the problem directly. It is necessary to calmly talk about what does not suit the lady in marriage. The conversation will help you figure out whether it makes sense to continue maintaining the relationship or whether a breakup is inevitable.
Husband's ingenious revenge for betrayal
Causes of a woman's sexual dissatisfaction
Despite the fact that each individual situation in a woman’s life is individual, the reason for betrayal is often either falling in love with another man or sexual dissatisfaction. There are several factors influencing a woman’s behavior:
- The husband stopped paying attention to his wife. If the amount of sex has decreased, then the lady will look for it on the side. A girl may hint at a lack of intimacy, take the initiative herself, but if her husband does not react, that is Great chance betrayal.
- The quality of sex has decreased. A girl may not be satisfied with the duration of sexual intercourse, the actions of her husband, or his attitude towards intimacy.
- Sex life has become boring or boring. This is especially true for older women.
- A man does not want to satisfy his beloved. Many young people are accustomed to enjoying sex, but not giving it to their women. Some are ready to put up with this, while others will find a way to compensate for dissatisfaction on the side. A selfish attitude towards your partner in sexual life will affect your future marriage.
- The partner lacks variety in sex. Sometimes it happens that a girl wants to make sexual intimacy brighter, add something new, but a man is not interested. Then the wife can try to find a guy who is willing to share her wishes.
Intimate relationships in marriage are very important for both men and women. To avoid misunderstandings, you should be clear about everything. Very often this can help spouses get rid of potential betrayals on both sides.
How to catch your wife cheating
What should a man do to prevent his wife from cheating on him?
It is worth trying to maintain interest in each other. It is important for a girl that her husband does not lose sexual and emotional attraction to her.
Some tips will help you maintain attraction to each other throughout a long-term relationship:
- You should compliment your wife. You should always pay attention to the fact that your spouse is well dressed or has changed something in her appearance for the better.
- You cannot focus on your wife’s shortcomings, especially in a rude manner. A guy can make a lady feel complex and develop a dislike for her body.
- It is important to admit your feelings and remind your wife that she is loved and desired. Ladies often cheat because they don’t feel needed by their husbands.
- It is also necessary to pay attention to trust in marriage. Spouses should not be afraid to talk about something directly and discuss everything together. This applies to both the sexual side of life and its other areas.
It is important for a man to remember that he often forms his own attitude towards himself. If you always treat a girl with love and respect, then she will begin to value marriage and will not want to cheat. And if you provoke quarrels and scandals out of nowhere, then the wife will look for a relationship with her lover.
Young lover
What to do if your spouse has sexual relations on the side?
If it turns out that your spouse has already taken a lover, then you should decide whether it makes sense to save the marriage. In cases where the reason for a woman’s infidelity is love for another man, a breakup is inevitable. Even if it was not possible to build any alliance with that partner, the girl will not be able to love her husband again. Cheating due to dissatisfaction can be prevented in the future by working together on intimate relationships.
A young man must carefully consider his decision, weighing the pros and cons. Under no circumstances should you listen to the advice of friends or acquaintances. It is advisable not to make this topic public and keep it within the family.
At the beginning of a relationship, partners are fascinated by each other and do not notice anyone around them. But in the process family life Discontent and doubts gradually begin to arise. In particular, spouses begin to suspect each other of infidelity. Why do women cheat? How to recognize or prevent infidelity?
How does female infidelity differ from male infidelity?
Just a few decades ago, the stigma of adultery was firmly attached to men. But today, more and more often, the stronger half of humanity accuses their wives of infidelity. To understand why women cheat, it is worth understanding the differences in the psychology of infidelity between different sexes.
| Category | Men | Women |
| Love | Men don't have to fall in love to have a mistress. They are driven by instincts. | Women, as a rule, feel strong sympathy and love for their lovers. |
| Selection | For men, the appearance and passion of a partner are important. | Women look closely at a potential lover for a long time, paying attention to his human qualities. |
| Further relationships | Men do not have mistresses for the purpose of forming a new family. They don’t even think about divorce, but perceive infidelity as a pleasant addition to family life. | Women seriously consider their lovers as potential husbands. Therefore, when it appears new man, they are seriously thinking about divorce and starting a new family. |
Indifference is an impetus to betrayal
One of the most common reasons why women cheat is indifference on the part of their partner. At the stage of courtship, a man gives his beloved attention, makes pleasant surprises, says compliments. But in marriage, as a rule, everything changes. The husband stops paying attention to his wife, and takes everything she does around the house and in bed for granted.
To understand why women cheat on men who show indifference, it is enough to know that the beautiful half of humanity lives by feelings. If a lady does not feel warmth and affection, if she does not hear nice words, does not receive gifts and does not drown in the strong embrace of her chosen one, she will look for all this in other men.
Household routine instead of romance and flowers
If you are wondering why women cheat on their husbands, remember how relationships developed during the dating stage. Romantic walks under the moon, dinners in a restaurant by candlelight, bouquets on every date, spontaneous trips and, in the end, a touching marriage proposal. And so, after the long-awaited wedding, the handsome prince turns into a pumpkin.
Men mistakenly believe that marriage is the main goal in a woman's life. But a ring on your finger and a stamp in your passport will not make anyone happy. If a woman's life consists only of cleaning and cooking instead of passion and romance, she will quickly lose interest in you. It is possible that she will fall into the arms of a more attentive and reverent person.
Dissatisfaction in the intimate sphere
When looking for reasons why women cheat on men, one cannot ignore the intimate sphere. Despite the fact that sexual intercourse for ladies takes second place after feelings, dissatisfaction with a sexual partner can become a significant reason for a connection with a lover. Thus, a man should not only care about his own satisfaction.
Learn to talk to your spouse about intimacy. If you see any dissatisfaction on her part, be sure to ask what she didn’t like. And remember that women love sex no less than men (and maybe more). Therefore, never ignore any hints of intimacy from your spouse.
Pathological jealousy and unfounded accusations
One of the most common reasons why women cheat on men is groundless jealousy and unfounded accusations. There is a type of man who considers all women to be fallen and suspects them on every occasion. I was late at work - I was with my lover. Talking on the phone - this is definitely a lover. She asked me to stop by the store on the way home - she was stalling for time to hide her lover. There are many examples, but each of them has unpleasant consequences.
This kind of importunity is the most common reason why women start cheating. The logic is that if a man is constantly jealous, then let the accusations not be groundless. So learn to trust your spouse, otherwise you yourself will push her into the arms of a calmer and more balanced man.
Lack of money
Lack of money is another common reason why a woman cheats on her husband. The psychology of the fair sex is such that they demand from their chosen one material stability and confidence in tomorrow. If you constantly have to limit yourself in something (even in the most basic), not every woman will be able to remain faithful to her spouse. Especially if the new boyfriend is wealthy and pampers you with expensive gifts.
Revenge or betrayal for treason
One of the significant reasons why women cheat on their husbands is revenge. Unfortunately, most men are confident that so-called “polygamy” justifies any action. Therefore, even when married, representatives of the stronger sex do not hesitate to flirt with strangers and even have intimate relationships with them.
But modern women are not at all what their mothers or grandmothers were. They do not intend to tolerate their partner's abusive behavior. Therefore, it is not surprising that many ladies try to take revenge on their spouses, affecting their honor and dignity. Treason works flawlessly. Although the woman herself may suffer and feel remorse because of this.
Relationships with a lover as a way to achieve goals
If everything is fine in your family, you need to look external cause why a woman cheats. The psychology of many representatives of the fair sex is such that, thanks to the beauty and art of a mistress, she can get what she wants without making significant efforts. It could be about career growth or some expensive gift. In this case, a man should not blame himself. Even if you give such a woman everything, she will constantly have new needs.
Love
A woman does not take sexual intercourse as simply as a man. For her, first of all, it is important to establish spiritual contact with her partner and feel sympathy for him. Therefore, if a woman decides to cheat, perhaps she feels for her lover strong feelings and even plans a future family life with him.
Why does a man cheat on the woman he loves?
Understanding the reasons female infidelity, it would be fair to point out what pushes representatives of the stronger sex to cheat. Here are the key points:
- Drastic changes in a woman’s appearance and behavior. When a mischievous beauty becomes grumpy and unkempt, a man begins to stare at other women.
- The notorious physiology. Some men consider it vital to have several sexual partners at once.
- Lack of mutual understanding. When grievances and claims accumulate, and none of the spouses wants to make concessions, the man goes in search of calmer harmonious relations.
- Dissatisfaction with sex. If a wife constantly has a “headache,” it is not surprising that a man will satisfy his natural needs outside the home.
How to recognize female infidelity
For men, it is not so important to know why married women cheat, how much they are interested in, how to recognize infidelity. So, you should be concerned if you notice the following about your spouse:
- Constant delays at work and unexpected business trips. Of course, if your wife has a responsible position or has received a promotion, this rule does not apply. But if the work comes suddenly and in large quantities, there is reason to be wary.
- Complete peace and happiness. If just a few days ago your spouse was nagging you about a falling tile in the bathroom or a leaking faucet, and now she seems to have forgotten about it, there are two options. Either she wants to annoy you, or she has found a more flexible man.
- Inappropriate response to calls. If, every time the phone beeps, a woman begins to panic, reset, hide the screen, or go out to talk in another room, this is quite a significant reason for suspicion.
- Changes in appearance. As a rule, after marriage, women let themselves go a little. But if your spouse suddenly takes care of herself (changes her hairstyle, starts going to the gym, starts wearing bright makeup and wearing seductive lingerie), this may be a signal that she has someone else. Although, don’t rush to blame your wife right away. She may be doing all this for you.
- Complete loss of interest in sex. This could be a sign that she is completely satisfied with another man. On the other hand, it could be a symptom of health problems or emotional distress.
Prevention of betrayal
Based on information about why women cheat, it is possible to develop a list of measures that will help prevent adultery. Here's how to behave so as not to push your spouse into infidelity:
- Give your woman time. Returning from work, many men immediately immerse themselves in watching sports matches or computer games. This is fundamentally wrong. Have dinner with your wife, share your problems and experiences, and take an interest in her affairs. On weekends, before going to a get-together with friends or locking yourself in the garage alone with your favorite car, take your spouse to the cinema, to a restaurant, or just for a walk in the park.
- Become a close friend to a woman. There should be no understatement between you. Spouses should be interested in each other and talk about their most intimate things. It is also important to respect your partner's interests and hobbies. If there is an attentive and understanding person nearby, a woman will not look for these qualities on the side.
- Quarrel. This advice may seem strange, but constructive conflict can be a salvation for a family. If you are not satisfied with something, do not keep it to yourself, because over time, simple dissatisfaction can develop into dissatisfaction. Argue to reach a compromise, and don't forget about vigorous reconciliation.
- Discuss intimate life. This is an important part of marriage. It is important that both partners are satisfied, otherwise sooner or later the spouses will begin to look for pleasure on the side. Ask a woman what she likes and what she doesn’t. Don't be shy to talk about your desires.
- Show respect. Unfortunately, many representatives of the stronger sex are guided by the opinion that a man is always right. But these are relics of the past. Modern woman demands that her opinion be listened to.
- Don't fall into a routine. Endless household chores can make a woman sad and push her to look for new sensations on the side. To prevent this from happening, give your spouse pleasant surprises, give flowers for no reason, and go out in public more often.
- Don't make scenes of jealousy. If you are not 100% sure that your spouse is unfaithful, keep your suspicions to yourself. Sometimes unfounded accusations serve as a reason for real betrayal.
What to do if your wife cheated
As difficult as it is to understand why women cheat on men, it is just as difficult to make a decision if the other half has been caught in infidelity. To begin with, it’s worth citing statistics. About 70% of ladies who have caught their husbands being unfaithful prefer to forgive and save the family. But among men this figure is much lower. Only 40% of the stronger sex are ready to accept their spouse’s betrayal and continue living as if nothing had happened.
There is no standard solution for this situation. It all depends on your feelings and relationships. If you still love your spouse and want to save your family, you will have to not only forgive the betrayal, but also forget about it. If this trouble constantly occupies your thoughts, if at every opportunity you remind your spouse about infidelity, attempts to establish life together will turn out to be in vain.
If you consider yourself to be one of those 60% of men who do not accept explanations for why women cheat on their husbands and do not see any way for reconciliation, separation will be the surest way out. Perhaps your feelings for your spouse have also cooled down a long time ago, and you are ready for a new relationship. However, it is better for you to forgive your spouse, because the feeling of resentment will depress you. And under no circumstances project past negative experiences onto a new relationship.
Why does cheating happen in marriages? What are their reasons? Something went wrong? All these questions arise not only for those who have become victims of such behavior of their significant other, but also for those who are just trying to start a family. Even if a guy has just started dating a girl, then he may also have a worm of doubt that will constantly and tirelessly sharpen: is his beloved cheating? Living with a burden on your soul becomes difficult. Making claims and asking inappropriate questions is the same as insulting a person with distrust. Maybe it was just your imagination that built up some ideas about infidelity, and the girl didn’t even think about looking at someone else. And then she won’t like your suspicions; in the end, she’ll get tired of it, and she’ll want to end the relationship in order to avoid humiliating questions and your jealousy out of nowhere. And she will be right in this situation! And you will not show yourself in the best light. If you still cannot cope with unreasonable jealousy, then it is better to turn to the experience of psychologists and find out indirect signs, is your lifelong friend cheating on you? But even in this case, it is better to take some action and start a showdown when you are sure that your relationship is in danger of a final break. Whether it’s worth trying to keep the family together after this or letting your wife go on all four sides is up to you to decide not only you, but also your other half. Perhaps the betrayal was simply her protest against your own wrong behavior. Then it’s enough just to reconsider your relationship, and everything will work out.
Signs of female infidelity
Let’s make a reservation right away: all the signs given below are only a reason to sound the alarm or test a woman’s fidelity. Perhaps the reason for the changes in the wife’s behavior were much more prosaic reasons than a passionate affair started on the side. Pressure from friends, parents or colleagues, a banal illness or the discovery of a serious illness, in the end, an unexpected pregnancy for her - all this can lead to a radical change in lifestyle or a change in appearance. To look for an outsider in these situations - a rival and competitor - is simply absurd. He's gone!The first signs of betrayal
Among the first signs of betrayal, psychologists identify: 1) Limiting access to personal space Until recently, a wife could casually throw her cell phone on the sofa and ask from the shower: “Look who’s calling me?” Or even ask to answer that she will call back soon or be free. And suddenly she began to hide the phone, and in social networks changed your passwords to ones you don't know. This is already a reason to think about cheating, but at the same time check other signs. Perhaps you recently were rude to your mother-in-law over the phone or ridiculed her friend on her behalf for excess weight. So the other half decided to “punish” you by restricting access. After all, access to personal space does not mean its destruction. If such facts really took place, then you should apologize to your spouse for inappropriate behavior with her loved ones, and then everything can fall into place. If the access restriction remains the same, then look for other signs before making a final verdict about cheating. 2) Abrupt abandonment of very stable habits Has your wife suddenly stopped going to the gym or, on the contrary, has begun to rush to go there, although she was previously indifferent to sports? Or has she suddenly developed a passion for classical music and spends her time at the conservatory after work and visits the opera house on weekends? At the same time, the wife became suspicious and began to worry a lot about trifles. Often does not answer calls mobile phone, or even sometimes “temporarily unavailable or out of network coverage.” These are serious signs to be wary of. If your wife has nothing to hide, then she will always answer your questions about fitness or opera with pleasure and in detail. You, of course, understand that when you work out on a simulator, going to the phone is simply inconvenient. After physical activity, the same characteristic breathiness may appear in the voice... as after rough sex. The perfect disguise for physical betrayal. But there is no need to talk about this. But asking why you suddenly became so interested in the classes is quite appropriate. If fitness, on the contrary, is abandoned, then the reason for this may be an increase in the price of a subscription or the closure of a gym that was close to home or work. And these are not moments that the wife could not explain. Most likely, she would have complained about the situation before classes stopped. If the wife swam in the pool, then it is also impossible to be in touch there. But in this case, ask yourself: why didn’t you go swimming together? As for the conservatory or theater, it is customary to turn off mobile phones there. This is understandable, as well as the fact that if you constantly hear rap or hard rock at home, which only you like, when your wife loves classics, then she will always look for a place where she can listen to something more comfortable for her ears. Here the cruel joke could have been played not by betrayal, but by your intransigence and the imposition of your own musical taste. 3) Constant delays at work without warning When the wife suddenly began to work late, this would have been inexplicable before, but in the current crisis situation this is normal. When management lays off part of the staff, the remaining employees are given simply a crazy amount of work for a meager increase in wages. If your spouse describes this whole situation to you, then you have no reason not to trust, because this information is objective. If a wife wants to achieve a promotion because she has such a chance, then she can also devote more time to her work responsibilities. And she will not share these considerations with you in the only case: when you reproached her for the fact that she occupies a low position, that is, “nobody at all,” and you yourself are a great figure and in good standing with your superiors. If there was no trace of this, and the woman is silent and does not admit why she does not leave work for a long time, then this is a reason to ask whether she is having an office romance. 4) Sudden change of image towards a more sexual one A change in image can happen unexpectedly if your modest wife has fallen under the influence of her more flamboyant friends. Instead of nondescript hair of an incomprehensible color, she gains blonde hair or becomes a burning brunette. Or maybe a redhead. New things appear in the wife’s wardrobe, more elegant and expensive in appearance. Of course, it's a shame that the last thing she asked you was whether she should go to a makeup artist or stylist. But what can you do if she asked you several times, and you shrugged your shoulders vaguely? And then the mother-in-law could have intervened, who “sawed through” her daughter’s brain that her husband should always like her, which means she should take care of her appearance. Otherwise he’ll leave or find a mistress! It’s good if the young lady began to take care of herself. But what should alert you is deep necklines in clothes, too short skirts, or if there are emphasized tight-fitting silhouettes. Unless all this happened before, it becomes clear that the girl wants to attract someone. And if at the same time you pay attention to cutesy behavior, changes in gestures, gaze, etc. - this is already a reason to suspect betrayal. An assessment of your wife’s behavior in bed can finally dispel doubts. 5) Cooling in intimate relationships Each person has his own sexual temperament, and you probably know very well what your wife’s is. How quickly she falls asleep after “this”, whether one act is enough for her, or whether she is insatiable, like a nymphomaniac, whether she often has a “headache”, in the sense of a reason for refusing intercourse - all this should be known to you. If something suddenly changes, especially in the direction of cooling the relationship, then we can assume that the wife is getting satisfaction somewhere on the side. Or your rival “does something better in bed”, so you have become uninteresting. But this is not always a reason for suspicion. Your wife might just be pregnant! At the beginning of pregnancy, many women experience a decrease in libido, and this is a normal physiological process. Moreover, many have to deal with such an unpleasant phenomenon as thrush at the beginning of this period. If your wife refuses in this case, then she is doing the right thing because she does not want to infect you. At the same time, remember: thrush is not a sexually transmitted disease and occurs due to decreased immunity, and not because the wife “brought it.” This is even more likely a confirmation that the spouse is really pregnant. The question arises: why doesn't she talk about it? To answer this question, remember how you were preparing to confess your love to her for the first time, how you were going to propose. This required moral strength from you! And no less spiritual work is required from a woman to declare you a future father. Yes, someone else appears in your relationship. But this third one is your son or daughter, who needs to be given attention even before birth. And it is required of you too. Sooner or later, the wife will be forced to say that she is going to become a mother, and then you will be convinced of her fidelity. But if there is no pregnancy, then it is worth asking whether your spouse is sick with something serious. When the diagnosis is frightening, then she may be afraid that you will leave her. If you are not a complete egoist, then she will most likely trust you with her sad secret over time. When your wife is as healthy as an ox and is not carrying a child, this is a reason to ask, first as a joke: has she found a replacement for you?Physiological signs of betrayal (by body)
There are still a couple of signs by which men often judge a woman’s infidelity. These are menstruation, which occurs several times a month, as well as the desire of the wife to get to the bathroom as quickly as possible. The first option is simply disrespect for you. Why not just say you're tired or sick? Why deceive so that everything is sewn with white thread. This is something to think about. The second option can be caused, for example, by the same thrush. What is it like to endure an itch for a long time and not run to the bathroom when given the first opportunity! Also, your spouse may be embarrassed that her deodorant turned out to be faulty in the heat, and she does not want to appear dirty and slobby in front of you. So the bathroom can be for your sake, and not for destroying the smell of a stranger’s cologne and traces of recent sexual pleasures.
Signs of cheating in panties, underwear and other clothing
Speaking about the image, we missed one important detail - underwear. It may also make you suspicious. For example, you have never shown a passion for leather underwear, but your wife suddenly appears in it. This thing is not cheap, and a wealthy lady can buy it just for the sake of experiment. If in your family budget Because of this, a serious hole is formed, then before such a purchase, your spouse should ask how you generally feel about underwear made from such an unusual material. If a lady of the heart introduced a peignoir into her intimate wardrobe, which she had not previously used, then this can be attributed to imitation of the heroine of a recently watched film. But if this piece of underwear is not worn for your bed “dramas”, then you need to be on your guard. You need to carefully find out why this item of clothing was purchased: either it is just a useless gift from a friend, or a way to please a lover. This can also be achieved by lace panties, a new bra, which often enlarges the breasts, etc. If all this is put on not before your intimate scenes, but when leaving home, then this may be a sign of physical betrayal, and not some kind of erotic fantasies your life partner.A woman's behavior after her betrayal
It is enough to pay attention to what changes have appeared in the wife’s daily behavior in order to say: “Perhaps she cheated on me.” And this is not necessarily looking at her husband as a complete nonentity when she mentally compares him with a rich (more courteous, affectionate, powerful) lover. Here everything can be exactly the opposite:- amazing dishes of exotic or European cuisine that are not prepared for a holiday; excessive politeness in treatment, bordering on a constant desire to apologize for... betrayal; surgical cleanliness in the house; a surge of energy that came from nowhere, up to the desire to dance.
Female infidelity through the eyes of a psychologist
Psychologists are impartial, and therefore their verdict sometimes seems cruel to us. Sometimes, instead of taking the side of the deceived spouse, they suddenly begin to justify the action of the one who dared to cuckold him. Often, wanting to understand what caused the betrayal, they bring to light nuances in the behavior of both spouses that the family preferred to keep silent about. But even such shock therapy is sometimes useful, because it allows everyone to see their own shortcomings, and not indiscriminately blame only the wife who cheated on her husband.Reasons for female infidelity
The main reason is often cited as a woman’s dissatisfaction, and not only sexually. Sex can suit a partner, but it’s not the only thing that makes a person alive! The wife also has her own “spiritual body”, which has needs. Go to the theater or have dinner at a restaurant, go on a romantic trip, just walk arm in arm in the evening park - why all this often remains at the dawn of a relationship, and then disappears somewhere, replaced by a routine of pots, pans, and cleaning. Especially if the other half, that is, you, does not bother with housework, considering the wife to be the working camel who will carry all this on herself. When a relationship with another man arises, it often represents the same promising romantic beginning that you once had. Moral: a woman needs to be constantly conquered with something, even despite the presence of a stamp in her passport, shared living space and common children. And then she will have no reason to even look in anyone's direction. Remain a gallant gentleman, and not a lazy man lying on the sofa, who is interested in little besides TV. You can often hear that for a man, his family is his rear. But this does not mean at all that this is something that is always behind you. If there is a rear, then there is a front. And this is not a career, not personal success, but the protection of the family and even its financial support. The latter fundamentally distinguishes family life from military disposition. Sometimes women fall for their lover’s wealth, for his expensive gifts, and not even because of greed, but because “the man spent money.” The tempter can thus put your significant other in an uncomfortable position. Especially if she doesn’t know how to reject expensive gifts and annoying advances. Often such relationships are a burden even for her, but she is unable to end them. That's when you need a psychologist. Or you yourself can suddenly show yourself to be a superman and do something grandiose for your wife in order to win her away from your rival forever.Why does a girl sleep with another guy but doesn't leave?
It happens that the other half plays a game “on two fronts”, that is, she has you, and at the same time, a lover. And she prefers not to stick to any of the shores completely. Perhaps you and her lover are mutually complementary links in her life. You know how to provide for your family, she sees in you a promising father for children, but finds sex with you boring and monotonous. Or maybe it's not about sex at all. She may not even sleep with the other guy, but spend most of her time with him, saying it's just friendship. Perhaps this guy understands her better, this is a vest in which you can cry, a conversation with him is more comfortable than with you. And then this is a reason to change something in yourself, and not to reproach your wife for her infidelity.Who is to blame for treason
Surprisingly, both are to blame. If your life partner is too lustful that she cannot be satisfied with just one partner, then where were your eyes when you chose her as your life partner? If you then closed them down to such “shortcomings”, then you will only have to wait until hormonal background your chosen one will calm down, and she will not look at other men. At the same time, she can be with you with all her heart, but change physically. But if the wife cheated by falling in love with another person, then this is a more serious situation, because it often ends in a break in the relationship, divorce, or leaving for another family. Stable love triangle, and here all three will be to blame. Sometimes a lady remains a bigamist for a long time, until someone first gets tired of this state of affairs. And then we have to unravel the thread and look for the reasons that gave rise to these strange relationships.
How to find out if my girlfriend or wife is cheating on me
This question is often asked by insecure men. In fact, jealousy is a lack of self-confidence, and it often arises out of nowhere, without real reasons. To execute a being dear to you with mistrust is not The best way save the relationship. Therefore, you need to make sure that cheating really takes place.Ways to catch cheating
The most common way is to spy on a person you suspect. You can spy on your own or with the help of private detectives. You can track down either your soulmate or a perceived competitor. Spying methods thanks modern technologies there are different:- use of listening devices; spying on information on social networks; visual surveillance using portable video cameras or optical devices.
Loyalty test to check your beloved
On the Internet there is various options tests, and with the help of them you can test both yourself and your soulmate for fidelity. If you take responsibility for it, you may misinterpret some of its phrases or even fill out the test with bias. Then the results may be distorted. It’s better to just invite her to answer the questions herself as a game. Naturally, you should also take part in this and fill out all the fields for her. If you have nothing to hide, then she will also agree to do everything in front of you. Just be careful: the test does not show the fact of betrayal, but simply a person’s tendency to be unfaithful. It is quite possible that your wife realizes that she is “not averse to being on the side,” but for the sake of you, her beloved, she honestly restrains such impulses and does not let herself go. There are many ways to force another person to do something that he himself would not want to do. And often this can be physical or moral pressure. Arguing that a woman is physically weaker is stupid, but this does not mean that you need to literally beat a testimony out of your wife. After all, confession under such pressure will be your last conversation, after which she will have no hesitation or doubt about who is better. Of course, a lover, because he doesn’t give up. And she will run to him without looking back, if only to be under his wing, and besides, she will justify herself 100% if you prove yourself to be a real dork. Putting moral pressure on a woman is also not, because the relationship with you will definitely not return to normal. Most likely, the spouse will file for divorce and, quite possibly, will even be left alone, deciding that she is much calmer this way - without any showdowns. If you want to put an end to your relationship with your wife, because you yourself have looked for a more suitable match for yourself, then feel free to start a showdown: you will achieve your goal and get a divorce.
My wife has a lover, what should I do?
If you make sure that your wife really has a lover, and this is not a secret admirer, not just a friendly colleague who is not averse to chatting for a long time with someone else’s wife, but rather a man who is having an affair, then you can simply compete with him. Instead of starting a showdown, you can simply pick up your wife at work, and arrange it very impressively. And after that, invite her to a restaurant, saying that you would like to free her from household chores today. Further more. You can plan a trip to the resort with your wife. This will take her out of the social circle with her uninvited suitor for a long time. Perhaps your friend in life just needs bright impressions, and if it is your person who is associated with them, then why waste time and moral strength on your lover? The rule that works well here is that the wife needs to be pampered so that she herself does not start pampering. Perceiving your lifelong friend as a “free app” to you is the path to the fact that she will sooner or later change. If you don’t value a woman and don’t tell her about it, maintaining a “Spartan atmosphere” in a relationship, then she will subconsciously look for someone who will appreciate her. No need to skimp on good words, to show attention and affection. Then you will have a chance not only to calmly survive this affair started by your wife, but also to stay with her when your lover simply disappears from the horizon. Sometimes another psychological move helps. Strange as it may seem, you need to let your wife go to her lover. They say about women that at home, when they “unfasten” false eyelashes and hairpieces, wash off the “plaster”, they turn into a kikimore. But with men the situation is actually no better. Your wife sees her lover as impressive and well-groomed when she meets him only in fits and starts. Now she will see him watching sports matches that will be more important than her. At the same time, yesterday’s “treasure” will almost eat pasta with stewed meat or dumplings with his hands, so as not to be distracted from the screen, or bite off the sausage directly from the loaf. You can imagine many pictures of this kind, and all of them will not be in favor of the person who splurged. After this, won’t the wife really want to return to the man whose family structure was developed jointly with her?How to tell if your wife is cheating at work
Office romances, alas, not uncommon. And it is not always a meeting of two lonely hearts. It also happens that an “omnipotent” director or big boss courtes a married subordinate. In return, he offers career growth, high wages, and he also happily spends his own money on the lady he likes. From the outside, this seems disgusting to many. But if this is your wife, then this situation is a real disaster. Faithful wife either she will quit this job, or she will make it clear that she is not ready to accept the courtship of the “bonze”, no matter what benefits he promises her. And here you need to distinguish between what reaches you: gossip or true information. If the director walks around your wife like a gogol, this does not mean that she reciprocated his feelings. You need to start a showdown with him rather than with your beloved. A person understands that his power extends only within the division or office he heads. But you are “not from his system,” and he may be afraid of you, because he does not know what to expect from you. If you want to be confident in your wife, then unexpectedly pay her a visit to work under the pretext of a surprise - unexpectedly purchased tickets to the premiere of a film, an invitation to friends, or under some other plausible pretext. You can also invite your spouse to a corporate party. If your significant other has nothing to hide, then she may be enthusiastic about this idea.Cheating on your spouse at 40, what to do?
Sometimes a woman tries to adjust her views on life in a more mature age how your family union took place. And then she can find herself not just a cute, cheerful guy that you once were, but wealthy man, which could:- provide for the family well; protect your household from many problems; give expensive gifts; beautifully cared for; to truly take care of children (and yours!), which you have not done until now.
If your loved one cheated, should you forgive her?
Not only your wife can deceive you, but also the girl you are dating. There are different types of betrayal. For example, a girl can fall for someone’s advances while she’s drunk. She herself will not be happy with this turn of events. This is exactly the case when you need to behave like a knight: forgive the girl and deal with the unexpected rival. You can forgive even your wife’s fleeting romance if you see that these violent feelings will not last long. As a rule, a gentleman can run away from his married lover as soon as she starts a conversation with him about starting a family. Such people prefer that the responsibility for the woman lies with someone else. IN in this case- on you. In the meantime, while your wife plunges headlong into her novel, just think about how you didn’t suit your friend’s life. Maybe you will be the one to fix everything. Just avoid reproaches, feel like you did in your youth, when you were just courting her, trying to be better than your rivals. Have you been challenged? Accept!Statistics: how often do wives cheat on their husbands, and girls cheat on guys?
Now you can find disappointing statistics that infidelity occurs in 70% of married couples. But there is no unity among women's and men's sites regarding gender data in this regard. If on sites for the stronger half it is relatively female infidelities often the numbers are underestimated, then women’s resources indicate that over 75% of men are unfaithful in marriage. Should you rely on such statistics? Most likely no. In addition, you need to understand the reason for each individual betrayal. You can be good husband and an exemplary father, while statistics can be spoiled by domestic tyrants, drunks and outright womanizers, for whom cheating is not a sin, but a way of salvation for a humiliated wife.Psychology: consequences of betrayal and relationships after it
If the consequence of betrayal was not a final break, this does not mean at all that it will not leave a scar on the soul. Even the strongest and bravest man is defenseless against only one feeling - love. If she is so strong that her own pride is drowned in her, then, strangely enough, this is a chance not only to forgive and accept back into her arms the cheating wife, but also to support her a good relationship and never remind her of a casual affair. You can often hear: “Be above it.” But as a rule, such a remark concerns some kind of conflicts at work, petty quarrels. But you can also be above treason, above your opponent. It's difficult, but you can always try. After all, how well your family life can develop in the future depends on how much you rise above this conflict. And if it so happened that your marriage broke up, then try not to hold a grudge. After all, your wife has left, but it will not leave you. Don't let him make moves in your soul. It’s better to find another point of support for yourself and throw off the load heartache. You won’t be able to do this right away; you will have to suffer from this disease for some time. But we must not allow it to become chronic.
Margins around the form
Of course, to forgive or not to forgive infidelity to your woman is the personal choice of every man. But I believe that female infidelity cannot be forgiven, and if this happened, the relationship should be put to rest. And don’t think that I’m so irreconcilable and tough. I understand perfectly well that every person has the right to make mistakes, and these mistakes must be forgiven. But female infidelity is not a mistake, but a betrayal. By cheating on her husband, a woman drags both herself and her family through the mud. And most importantly, a relationship with a woman who cheats has no prospects for the future, so there is no point in continuing this relationship. And here are the reasons:1. The fact of a woman’s infidelity causes deep psychological trauma to a man, and no matter how a man deceives himself that he has forgotten everything and forgiven the cheater, this is not forgotten and is not forgiven. And if a man, in order to preserve the relationship, begins to push his resentment deep into himself and pretend that nothing happened, then he will thereby destroy his “I” and cause damage to his own psyche, which is fraught nervous breakdowns, bursts of unmotivated aggression, the acquisition of various complexes and sexual disorders. And all because by forgiving betrayal, a man admits to his own masculine inadequacy, he seems to agree and come to terms with the fact that he is an inferior male who cannot conquer and win back his female from other males. Yes, of course, people are not animals, but in this case it does not change anything. For any man, as we know, there is nothing more painful than to suffer a sexual fiasco. And when a woman cheats on her man, her betrayal first of all casts doubt on his sexual abilities.
2. A woman who has cheated on a man at least once is no longer his woman. And not only because the hands (and not only the hands) of another man touched her. The fact is that a woman who cheated on you once will cheat on you more than once or twice, especially if she understands that she is guaranteed impunity. And don’t expect that the woman will appreciate your generosity, repent and never repeat what she did. As soon as she realizes that you are so afraid of losing her that you are ready to forgive even betrayal, she will begin to openly cheat on you with everyone she sees fit, even with your friends, and thereby turn you into a pathetic laughing stock. As a result, your cuckold status will become known to all your friends and acquaintances, and you will completely lose their respect.
3. The reasons for female infidelity are very different from the reasons male infidelity. A man may well love his wife, be an exemplary husband, and at the same time sometimes have affairs. In the case of a woman, this is excluded. It comes down to the psychological differences between men and women. Men clearly distinguish between sex and feelings and know how not to confuse one with the other, while for women these two concepts are combined together. The average woman will never cheat on her man if she loves and respects him. For normal women They are characterized by elementary disgust, so they can only have close relationships with men with whom they sympathize at least a little. The only exceptions are nymphomaniac women, who, due to their physiological and psychological characteristics, it doesn’t matter who you sleep with anymore. So, if your woman cheated on you, it means she either doesn't love you, or she's a promiscuous nymphomaniac. It seems to me that either of these two options is unacceptable for a self-respecting man!
4. Only an initially weak man can come to terms with the role of a cuckold, and weak men, as we know, women are despised and trampled upon. It is not for nothing that tough, powerful men often enjoy great success with women, while women, as a rule, do not appreciate soft and weak-willed men and ignore them. So, as soon as you forgive your woman for cheating, she will stop not only loving you, but also respecting you, with all the ensuing consequences. If you don’t leave her, she will leave you herself and leave you for a man who will treat her in such a way that she simply will not dare to cheat on him.
5. A woman capable of treason is also capable of the basest betrayal. She will set you up, abandon you and exchange you for someone else at the most difficult moment of your life. Therefore, even if you do not have strong jealousy and believe that betrayal is not a reason to destroy a family, still think about it: do you need a woman whose help and support you can never count on if some trouble happens to you, for example, serious illness or bankruptcy. Not to mention the fact that a woman who cheats on you with her lover may well become pregnant from him, and then pass off someone else’s child as yours. Do you want to raise and educate other people's children?
6. Even if the woman who committed treason regrets what she did after a while, it still won’t save your relationship from inevitable collapse. The fact is that, wanting to find an explanation and justification for her betrayal, she will definitely begin to look for those to blame for what happened, and since women in general are not very inclined to objective self-criticism, she will not blame herself for her own betrayal. And guess who? Of course, it’s you! Do not doubt, she will come up with a bunch of excuses to calm her conscience, but she will remember all your “sins” and as a result will come to the “logical” conclusion that it was you who pushed her to cheat with your behavior.
Many men, continuing to love a traitor, commit typical mistake: they try to sincerely forgive the betrayal and start the relationship from scratch, pretending that nothing happened. To some extent, these men can be understood: it is not easy to cross out an established relationship in one fell swoop and tear out from the heart the one who was the most beloved and dear. In addition, men for the most part are slaves of habits and do not like to radically change the established way of their lives. That’s why some men try to hush everything up, hoping that what they think is a random incident will be forgotten and will never happen again. I think this shows weakness modern men who, for the sake of maintaining life’s comfort and peace, are ready to deceive themselves. And one more aspect is male conceit. Many men sincerely consider themselves to be unique supermen and simply cannot accept that their woman might stop loving them and prefer another man to them.
Having learned about the betrayal of our beloved, we are quite sincerely perplexed and cannot understand how this could happen. “We felt so good together, we loved each other so much, I did so much for her! How could she?!” the cuckold laments tearfully. And here it is: since she cheated, it means she didn’t love her that much!
As life experience shows, a man’s stubborn reluctance to break up with a woman who has cheated on him and his pitiful clinging to a relationship with her are just attempts to delay the inevitable end, which will come sooner or later anyway. Your family died the moment your woman decided to cheat - and the sooner you realize this, the better.
He who betrays once will betray twice. So, if you have nothing against for long years If you want to wear branched antlers, then please wear them - this is your personal choice. Well, if you are not a pathetic henpecked man, but a self-respecting man, quickly say goodbye to the traitor, no matter how much it hurts you. Believe me: you are fully worthy of having a faithful, loving and devoted life partner next to you!
There are so many reasons not to forgive and only one reason to forgive:
Margins around the form
However, today in relationships everything is turned upside down, and just as often as the opposite sex, experts say.
Family psychologist, consultant interpersonal relationships, director of the dating agency “Me and You” Elena Kuznetsova says that, according to recent sociological studies, today men are more monogamous, whereas a woman can have two or three partners at the same time. And female infidelity today, alas, is not uncommon.
“Scientists say that modern people are like men. They do not consider an affair to be a betrayal of their partner just because they are looking for a more successful breadwinner, hunter, and so on. Since men are getting smaller, a woman, through bed, is also looking for a more profitable match. We're not talking about feelings here. This is purely a business relationship,” states the psychologist.
Chasing the Prince
If we do not take into account nymphomaniacs, then in most cases a woman, like a man, goes to the side if something does not suit her in the family: the partner is bad in bed, gives little money, does not pay any attention to his lady etc.
It is not difficult for a modern woman to decide to cheat if new chosen one, as it seems to her, than her legal husband. Or he may be of exactly the same status as his spouse, but more romantic and more gentle towards the woman. If a potential lover offers a young lady something that she does not have or something that she currently wants, she will follow him. Even though the new man may actually turn out to be much worse than his husband, he will tell the lady a couple of compliments that she hasn’t heard at home for a hundred years, and thereby bribe his counterpart.
“Very often a woman invents problems for herself. She doesn’t want to fight for her husband, talk to him, because she doesn’t believe in any changes on his part. It’s easier for a wife to concentrate on a new man, especially if he poured honey into her ears. We hear what we want to hear. And we see what we want to see. And often husbands are a hundred times better than lovers, but their wives just don’t really look at them,” says Elena Kuznetsova.
Sex - yes
Women decide to cheat even when they... This often happens when spouses are the same age, but the husband, for example, is less temperamental, or with age he begins to have problems with potency, and the woman is still in her prime.
Leave so as not to return
Women cheat completely different men, here everything depends on the ambitions of the lady herself. Some representatives of the fairer sex can endure the most worthless man by social standards all their lives just because he is hers. And for some, it seems that her man is not rich enough, and they find a wealthier gentleman.
When deciding to cheat, a woman admits the idea that she can leave her current husband forever for another man. And this is the main difference between female infidelity and male infidelity. Representatives of the stronger sex, when they go on a spree, most often do not want to ruin their family.
“Women worry more easily own betrayals, quickly leave their husband. Ladies have a more flexible psyche, they are more corrupt,” explains Elena Kuznetsova.
At the same time, the psychologist notes that a woman always stands up for the stability of relationships, and will decide to leave her husband only if the new chosen one calls her along. She will follow him to .
Cunning conspirators
In terms of hiding infidelity, women give a hundred points ahead of men. It is much more difficult to catch ladies cheating because they are more cunning. They carefully cover up the traces of the “crime”, taking care of all the little details.
However, it is still possible to catch your wife cheating. Usually her usual daily routine changes, she is often not at home, she becomes more well-groomed, even if before that she always carefully looked after herself. In addition, a woman often takes her anger out on her husband because, as it seems to her, he interferes with her happiness. The husband becomes an active external irritant for the lady. Plus, she doesn’t want to have sex with him at all.
Don't retreat, don't give up
You should never admit to cheating. Unlock to the last, even if you are backed against the wall. And in general, any woman, even if she walks from her husband right and left, should tell her husband that he is the only one for her and that she loves only him. Oddly enough, almost all men believe in this.
Helpful information
Elena Kuznetsova, director of the dating agency “Me and You”, family psychologist. Phone 8-920-909-62-35.Return of the Shrew
If, having learned about his wife’s betrayal, he nevertheless decided to forgive her, a new period begins in family life. The spouse, of course, will never be able to forget about betrayal, but smart man enough brains not to reproach a woman who has returned to the family for this. After the reunion, both need to talk frankly and find out what specifically did not suit the wife in the relationship. A woman should keep in mind that when talking about the reasons that pushed her to cheat, she gives her husband certain instructions on how he should act in the future. A man will take this instruction specifically. That is, if a woman says that he gave little money, he will fulfill all this with precision in the future. And if by “attention” you meant flowers and going to the theater, and your spouse simply began to spend more time with you at home, then don’t blame me.
If you have questions for psychologist Elena Kuznetsova, you can ask them by writing a letter to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected].
